legend :
italic - past or flashback
bold - uttered words, phrase, sentences
italic & bold - uttered from the past
italic (right side) - song lyrics
normal - present happening

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three months later... OCTOBER

Couple more days and I'm still not my usual self; often tired and uttering, "I'm fine" even though I'm not. But I think I'm starting to forget about her.

"Good morning," she smiles and I can't help but smile wider. Her smell is dominating and that look on her face as the rays of sun that illuminates from the huge window pane, makes it even better, she looks annoyed and funny. I touch the loose strands of hair in her face and move it gently away from her face, tucking it gently behind her ears. "Want some breakfast?" I nodded and she kisses me on both cheeks then stood up fast to cook us some breakfast.

But there are still moments where I can't make my way out of remembering her and then all of a sudden missing her and then wishing her to come back.

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"Good morning!" I was startled again, by this lady that serves my coffee. I don't know why she keeps delivering me my order every single day when she's not a server but a barista and what I know is that here, as soon as your name is called, you'll have to get back up from your sit and take your ready order on the counter. "Thank you," and I don't know why but somehow, her greeting made me smile--the genuine kind, as if I'm not hurting and not trying so hard to forget some things--someone; at ease. "You're welcome, do you need anything else?" she enthusiastically asked, I shrugged and said, "no, thank you."

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two months later... DECEMBER

After my work, I went straight to this bar. Nyle invited me, he's a part-time accountant--like I am (but I'm working full-time) and then he's also a professional model. This after-work small party is to celebrate the near-end of another year. I've been downing drinks and to my surprise, been interacting to almost everyone out here.

"Matt, is that your ex? And with someone?" I snapped my head so fast in the direction another co-worker's looking at and of course, to my bad luck, there is she.....the girl I was about to proposed to seven months ago. As if on cue, she turned her head a little bit and saw me. She made her way to where I am, with a new man in her arm. I was about to turn around when a lady, out of nowhere linked her arm to mine and kissed me in my cheek. I saw how shocked my ex was. I don't know how to react then until my ex is in front of me.

"Hi Matt! Didn't expect to see you here." I shrugged and said, "me too." She smiled and introduced me the man, "this is Seth, my fiancé." I choked and the lady that linked her arm to mine answered for me, "I'm Max--Matt's girlfriend." Jil, my ex, looked shock again and it is as if she's pissed--I know her that well, I know that look when she's trying hard not to scoff and walk away. I coughed and said, "nice to meet you Seth and it's nice to see you again Jil." And then I don't know what had gotten into me, maybe it's the drinks but I smiled--a genuine one and then pulled the lady, think Max was what she said her name is, closer to me and then said, "shall we milady?" She chuckled and answered, "we shall!"

I was just not in the mood anymore to continue partying and so I told my mates, I'd go home but didn't do so without introducing them first to the lady beside me.

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After fifteen minutes of not knowing where to go or what to do since this lady followed me out the bar, I found myself in my car and still thinking of someplace to go. "Go to The Café." I frowned, "excuse me?" She smirked and tapped her fingers on the dashboard, "well I'm bored sitting here and you're obviously thinking too hard your brows are furrowed now, so let's go there." "Isn't it close by now? It's like what," I checked my watch, "two in the morning." She put on her seatbelt then told me, "just go."

And so I did. I started driving until we reached the destination. "How will we be able to go inside?"

She didn't answer me but instead went straight out of my car and so I was forced to switch the engine off and follow her. To my impatience, asked her again, "how will we go inside?" She just scrunched her nose and then pulled a key out of her purse, "by this mister, I'm also the owner." And then when I get to concentrate on knowing who she is, it clicked, she's the barista--and also the owner.

She gave me coffee and made herself one too. A few moments of silence and then when I'm a little sober, I don't know what urged me but I started spilling her everything. From what's the story with the lady back there from the bar, why I was affected and so surprised to seeing her. Why I was devastated. I kept telling her everything like she's a close family. Until, "and then I kind of shut my feelings off--feeling nothing...numb about love. I regret loving her too much because until now it hurts, it hurts to know that I am replaceable and that I've let myself be a mess for a couple of months now. Our friends saw us as the greatest and most in love couple, guess they were wrong. I don't know what to do, when she left, broken things off with me, I was lost. Everything seems different..." and then I was sobbing. The next thing I know? Max, she said her name was, is caressing my back and maybe I'm not that sober yet because I pulled her in for a kiss.

......

And there I got it, a SLAP. "How dare you?!" I sighed, ashamed of myself. "Look. I'm sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you in any way or maybe this hurt you, I'm not sober and I'm a little shaken. I have to go." I said and walked out, went to my car and kept driving until I reached my house.

Her slap made me sober tho. But I'd like to think I'm still not sober because I can't seem to erase the feeling of her lips on mine and how it would be nice to have her hand hold mine than it slapping me. Shaking my head, Iooking at the clock on my nightstand that reads 6:50 a.m., we were talking that long? I'd take a day off from work and try my best to sleep. Damn.