My name is Will Rosenbloom. I have used a shield in combat. I am a magical girl slash superhero currently enlisted in a war against an artist turned lunatic who wants to destroy society as we know it, but is willing, inexplicably, to step down if we get society as we know it involved. I spend my days balancing the fate of the world with the fate of my emotional stability, and my head is a cloud of thick black smoke. I can hear it crackling right now. I feel it choking me from the inside. My family does not know. My twin does not know. After school today, I am going to have to convince three people that we should not tell the police about a dangerous criminal who might drug the water supply because a magical being from another dimension will be upset if we do.

Also because it's a fucking trap how is that not obvious why are they so stupid--

I'm doing a performance right now. We're acting out Julius Caesar. I think. I'm flubbing my lines. I feel like Adam Rosenbloom: haven't cared about school in ages, I could sleep forever and still never stop feeling tired, and I am cruel like a knife twisted into the small of the back. I mess up another line and sit down. I haven't been able to draw. I miss Shiloh. His eyes haunt me out of every page. He wants me to say something to the others. I don't know what to say. He's depending on me. The eyes are everywhere. I'm failing him. I'm failing him so hard.

Evan's smirking at me. "You on drugs?"

"No."
"Eyes red. Shaking. Got a bad buzz vibe going. Not your style. Probably drugs," he says. Does my brother really like that smirk? I want to knock his teeth out.

"Things are rough right now," I say.

"Trouble at the Naval Brigade?" he asks. "That must be thrilling. I like my drama a little more--"

"Big," I say. "Like my brother's dick?"

Evan's expression twists. Not drops. Twists. I don't think I've ever seen someone make the face he's making at me right now. "Who are you?"

"A dead man walking," I say, in a low, icy whisper, perfected by years of being a demure snowflake who couldn't raise his voice. "Tell my brother that I say hi. He might ask who I am. We haven't talked in a while, but I'm his brother, I need him, and he's not there for me when I need him because he's too busy doing absolutely jack shit with you. I guess I should be thanking you. Now that he's not slapping me around, I've finally learned to stick up for myself."

Evan stares at me. I'm trembling like a leaf, but I'm not moving. I'm high on something right now, and I'm riding it out until the sweet end of it.

"What the hell's wrong with you," Evan asks.

I start laughing. I know the laugh is Ignatius's from the second it leaves my mouth, and I hate it, but it is growing out of me. I can feel it blossoming, spreading, curling around back towards my neck, and Evan is drawn all the way back into his chair.

"Care to tell the class what's so funny?" asks Ms. Adana.

The bell rings. I want to apologize to Ms. Adana but I am shaking even more now. I didn't sleep at all last night. Everyone agreed to be there right after school. I can't be held up.

"Will Rosenbloom?"

I kind of make a run for it. Evan yells, "Run, boy, run!" and I don't know if I'm grateful for him or absolutely mortified that he's making the situation so much worse. All I know is that there's a portal in the mens' bathroom, waiting for me, and when I get there, Shiloh is staring at me.

I put my hands down and he enters my arms. I do not know where he starts and I stop. With other people, whenever they move, I can sense that they have a will of their own, their own thoughts, their own feelings. Shiloh doesn't. Shiloh is an extension of me in the same way that I am an extension of him. We are the same thundercloud streak of panic, searching for words that the other doesn't have. Shiloh is safety. I hug him tightly as I can. "I'm scared," I say. "What happens if they go to the police?"
The thunderstorm rages. "I don't know. I don't know," Shiloh says. "It gets worse and worse. I can see apocalypses, as soon as it works its way up to the government. Even if it stops at local authorities, the power they could wield with it and through it is immense. They will find you. Hunt you down. It will be the end of life as you know it."

"Tell them that!"

"I did. They do not believe me."

"I believe you!"
"Please, Will, you have to help me."

Karen and Garrett enter.

"One last chance," I say.

"I've been weighing this all night," Karen says. It's impossible to make out the dark circles because of her mask, which is just as flawless and fierce as ever, but I can see all of the pain under it in her eyes, sharp and electric, a bed of needles. "We can't do this. We need to call the police in. We'll go with them, so they're not in as much danger, and they'll lock down the house. They're already looking for whoever killed Bradley Prell."

I didn't even know his name.

"We can't do this," I mumble. "If the government gets the Diosite, then they'll--"

"What?" asks Karen.

My voice chokes in my throat. "I don't know."
"Well. I'm sorry you believe the first thing Shiloh told you, but if you don't know, it's a lesser of two evils. Again, we will steal it back."

"They can't find out," Shiloh's voice tears out of my throat. "People can not find out."

"Will," Garrett says. "Are you even in there?"

"Yes!" I say. "Is it so bad that I agree with Shiloh? He got us here! He has never been wrong before! I don't understand why it's so hard for you to trust him!"

"I don't understand why you have to," Karen says.

"Is Shiloh... fixing you?" asks Garrett.
"No," I say. "I'm getting better. Me! I've been stronger, less anxious-- I've made friends! I can talk to people."

"Then you have nothing to fear from this being over."

"This isn't about me," I say. "It isn't."

Amanda enters. Thank goodness. She's rubbing her temples. "You guys giving Will shit?"

"You're just his guard dog," Karen says. "Back off."

"Excuse me?" says Amanda. "Karen. Come on. I don't defend him because I'm an idiot who listens to whatever he says. I defend him because he's my friend, and because he has good judgement. Makes good plans. Has our best interests at heart. I know it seems like he's been defending Ignatius... and Shiloh... but that's because Will really cares about people, and he doesn't want to let Ignatius die, and he cares about Shiloh, who cares about us, so..." she trails off again. "Look. I know this is a mess, but you don't do what the villain says you should do. That's a trap. That's how you die, or get other people killed. I'm genre savvy. If you don't want to trust me, or him, trust every story ever written. You know we're right in the middle of one."

"He's playing us. It's a trap," I agree.

Tesla looks at me, and she shakes her head slowly. Her voice is a static crackle. "Will Rosenbloom." She shakes her head again. Stomps her foot. I can sense Shiloh in her, trying to plumb it out. "What's your plan?"

"One last run."
"That's a joke," Garrett says.

"We could die," Karen says. "What makes this different from any other time?"

"We don't pull out," I say.

"Even better plan. Worked really well for my parents," Garrett says.

"At this point, with his powers, we could die," Karen says.

I want to die. "We-- we're going to spring him in the middle of the night. He's using the sun for energy, I think, but that doesn't mean he doesn't sleep. He probably goes dormant at night. With a correctly developed plan, we could-- we could have him!" I promise. "I'll do all the planning. We'll have a full, comprehensive way to get to him. I promise. I swear. Just let me have one last chance."
Karen closes her eyes. "I guess you're right. I don't want to endanger policemen."
"I know!" I say. "I don't want to endanger anyone. Karen, please, Karen..."

"Stop talking," she says. "You sound like everything Ignatius was talking about. I can't stand to see you like this, knowing he might be right about us. Please stop." She's crying. I thought she was angry and she was trying to hold back tears. At last, some ugly sob breaks her body. "This was supposed to be cathartic."
Garrett takes her hand. Amanda takes mine. Karen leans against me, and the group of us hold each other in a deep hug, at first awkwardly strewn about the four of us, and then we're packed so close none of us can breathe. I feel close to them all in a way I can't be when I'm working through Shiloh, and when Karen draws back, wiping her face off, I know that it's not relief or anything kind I'm seeing in her eyes, no mutual understanding.

It's like she's mourning for me, and I'm not even dead.

With that, she turns and storms off.

Garrett breathes. "Same old shit?"
"Same old shit," Amanda offers. "Can I... come with you, actually? I don't think this is over."
"Will?" asks Garrett.

"I'll catch up with you. Then we start drafting the plan," I say. "Together."
Shiloh blinks.

The two of them exit.

"Don't tell me it was a good diversion," I say. "I meant everything I said to them. We're really going to do this, together. It has to be done."

Shiloh nods. "I believe you. I'm just relieved."

"Okay," I say. "Okay. Good."

Shiloh purrs.

"Please don't touch me." I move him back with my hands, regretting it, feeling dizzy. I really am this dependent. My hands clench into fists. I wanted to believe I was getting stronger so badly.

"You are. I don't do what you do out there. You do."

"Being sad and desperate?" I ask.

"They love you," Shiloh says. "You've brought them together."

I'm choking. "I'm a loser. I can't even get over that."
"I've never felt anyone so empathetic," Shiloh promises.

"It doesn't matter."
"It does."
"I'm so scared and alone and I don't know what to do." I'm sobbing. "I can't do what you want me to do. I can't do it alone and none of them can do it for me. I feel like I'm lying to them."

"Will, Cherubs live alone their whole lives. The Veins are huge and there are almost none of us. No one really understands you. No one is close to you but humans, and you don't understand them. You just work with them," Shiloh says. I think I sense a tinge of regret in his voice. "You are not alone. I promise. I have been alone."

"I am."

"Will."

"I-- I have a twin," I say. "We barely even talk anymore, and I-- I just-- I wish my brother loved me. I miss him. I miss him so much."
"Will," Shiloh purrs.

"I'm so scared, Shiloh. I'm so scared."

"Will."
"I'm so scared."