DEMONS.
( chapter six. )

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Edited 11/16/2017 @9:30 PM
Edited 11/12/2018 @10:52 PM

  IT WAS STRANGE.

Waking up was strange, in the sense that Andy felt nowhere near conscious. Everything looked real and the warm wind brushing faintly across her skin surely felt real. Yet, it wasn't─ not really. Her mind was foggy, something wasn't right. With every blink and turn, Andrea's motion felt slowed and her head swam with confusion.

She felt like there was something missing, like her mind was forgetting what had led her here. Andy couldn't focus on one thought. In her dismal awareness, a part of her knew better than to think too much. She let her gaze wander, studying this unfamiliar place she had come to arrive in. It was all aged and industrial.

If this was a dream, it was so oddly realistic. There was no other explanation for it. Everything looked like it had come straight out of an old movie scene, which felt wrong in the sense that Andy knew she wasn't meant to be here. She couldn't focus on why either, her attention seemed obscured by a sense of, not safety, but a familiarity she couldn't place.

Regardless, Andrea wasn't sure if she wanted to know how she knew she was dreaming, or why it had brought her here. Still, the confusion wasn't lost on the female. Her eyes scanned the abandoned area. She was standing in the middle of the street, so where was everyone?

Unbidden, anxiety struck Andrea like a freight train. It was as if sense had returned to her in one blinding moment. She couldn't be lulled into a false security, that wasn't how she was trained. What in the fresh hell was going on? How and why was she here─ in a land so close to reality it felt like living memory?

Thoughts kept firing at her like a torrent of waves and it did nothing to ease her panic. But, above all, she had to know; what was it that made her feel so trapped?

Andy turned at the sound of sudden laughter, hope springing to her chest. But, she soon found herself faltering as her gaze landed on a girl standing on a nearby street. Her heart stuttered to a stop. If she didn't know that laugh, then she knew the face that stared back at her. It was the same face that had been in the mirror only a day prior, in the comfort of Andrea's home.

This wasn't a mere matter of close resemblance either, and it was no coincidence. The longer she stared at the her, Andy was quick to notice the little-to-no difference between herself and the vision who stood before her. The fitted, old dress couldn't hide that regardless of time or fashion, this girl standing only a few feet away was a near mirror-image of Andrea Claire Jones.

Andy felt her stomach turn and she forced herself to look away. She closed her eyes, pinched her skin, and bit her own cheek. But, there was no waking up. This wasn't something she could leave so easily, not yet. She knew that dreams were odd and most had no meaning, but this was something unshakeable.

New voices sounded, but Andrea couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. She steadied her uneven breathing, and reasoned with herself that most dreams played out with ease or changed rapidly. If there was no escaping, then she would have to watch on and wait. It may have been too real to feel comfortable, but Andy would wake up again.

This dream would end.

Andrea clung to this small piece of rational and forced herself to turn back around. Upon opening her eyes, she was met with yet another strange sight. No longer was this version of herself alone, she now had two new companions at her side.

"Aw, our little Steve's growing up," the girl reached over to the smaller man at her side and ruffled his hair. "Congratulations on getting into the army program." Just through speaking alone, this clone of herself seemed to mimic Andy's every antic. There was hardly a change in pitch to her voice.

Andrea tried to ignore it and studied the two men that had appeared. The taller of the pair stood behind this other version of herself, holding her in a loving embrace. Andy's heart gave a lurch of longing at the sight. She had never seen someone more in love. Those eyes were so comforting, safe. But, she couldn't say they were familiar.

Fear suddenly seemed forgotten as Andy watched on, awed by this new presence. "You're just barely a year older than me," the smaller man pointed out. He was blond and scrawny, but he stood around the same height as this dopple-Andrea. There was an amused grin on his lips and the girl dismissed his words with a wave of her hand.

For a moment, the present Jones girl didn't even consider that the lanky boy was anyone important to her (nonetheless someone she would recognize), until she dared to take a closer look. Andrea's surprise was so abrupt she hardly recognized it. She stumbled, mind reeling as she nearly tripped over herself.

The mere concept of it was hard to process, but the longer she stared Andy knew; she was looking at the person who was undoubtedly her best friend. Steve Rogers. Though, it wasn't necessarily the one she had come to know. This Steve that she was looking at now clearly hadn't gone through the Super Soldier serum yet.

However, even without it, they were nearly identical. The resemblance was so striking. But, Andy couldn't bring herself to recall an instance where she had ever seen Steve in this form, aside from faded photographs. Andrea brought her hands to her head, stricken with an onslaught of turmoil mixed with panic. She felt hysterical.

  What kind of dream was this, who the hell were these people, why was she here, why was she here, why was she here, whywasshehere─

So many thoughts, so many things to process. As the seconds passed, the constant questions her mind fired at her were no help to the female's agitation. All they seemed to do was egg her on, taunting her and telling that if only she could remember. But, remember what? What was there to remember?

What had been so important in Andrea's past life─ a past that she couldn't recall─ that needed her desperate attention. What did it have to do with these people? With Steve? The Jones girl wanted to delve deeper, to give into thought. But, at that moment, the group began to converse once more, drawing her distraught gaze back towards them.

"I can't believe we're not going to see each other anymore. I'm gonna miss you," the girl accompanied the words with a sad smile as she looked over at the Rogers man.

Steve's expression mirrored hers as he took her hand with family-like affection. "I'm gonna miss you too, Andy." His voice. That voice Andrea knew so well was a sour comfort as she watched the pair in front of her embrace. She didn't truly know this person, did she?

  But, what if she did?

"This isn't real," she breathed, voice strained against the struggle to hold back tears. "This isn't real!" She cried and, suddenly, she was stumbling painstakingly closer to the group. Andy felt her hands lash out wildly as she clawed at this false image of herself. But, like mist swept away in the wind, the form faded with its companions.

Andrea choked on sobs as her head seemed to ache with the weight of her thoughts. Who am I? The thought came with so much mourning, but she had to know. "Tell me who I am?!" Andrea screamed, but she knew that nobody could hear. There was no one left. Andy inhaled a gasp as time itself seemed to come to a jarring stop and an inky black seemed to descend all around her.

Her mind suddenly hurt with such a physical pain, that Andy was brought to her knees. She cried out, screaming her agony unto deaf ears. What if this wasn't a dream? Andrea threw her back against the ground, the breath leaving her chest as she writhed in pain. The searing blade that seemed to pierce her mind increased its wrath tenfold.

  What if this was her past? The agony was unrelenting. "I know you," she whispered mournfully, speaking to dead air─ and just as suddenly as it came, the pain was gone.

But, the echo of it remained. From where she lay on the ground, Andy turned her head and stared through clouded eyes at a mirror-image of herself. The woman from before stared back at her.

"I know you," her past image whispered back, reaching out to press a finger against Andrea's tear-stained cheek. Andy closed her eyes and, with that gentle touch, something seemed to shift inside her. It felt like wholeness. It was a handful of missing puzzle pieces that flung themselves out at her, leaving Andy hardly any time to catch her breath.

After all that searching, it had been right in front of her this whole time. Steve knew. Andrea thought back to his words. "I made a promise to someone a very long time ago." Andrea's heart was raw with pain. How long ago had he meant? Andy wept with the sudden flood of entirety that seemed to fill her.

However, with it came hesitation.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to see the image this puzzle created. What would it show her? What new wave of emotions would it bring? Momentarily, Andy wondered at how content she was with the life she already had─ and the hollow feeling she felt whenever she tried to remember the person she once was.

  Did she really want tear that image apart in order to discover who she used to be? Andy knew the answer, long before the question had even presented itself. It was never a choice. She had to know where this led─ even if it came at the expense of who she was now.

Before Andrea could comprehend what was happening, flashes of memories stormed her conscious in a relentless torrent. It was like someone was stitching the missing parts of herself back into place and Andy knew she was right as tears failed to express her sorrows. The memories of her past would tear things apart, but it wouldn't be the bonds she had created.

It would be her.

When everything stopped and time finally seemed to stand still, Andrea was left feeling stretched thin. Her skin crawled with something she couldn't quite place; was it disgust? Or the echo of the girl she once was? Andy felt as though everything she thought she knew had been carved out of her and dumped onto the ground to be sorted out.

She once had a family, a home, friends who cared about her.

The female pressed a hand to her chest, as if it would fill the space that had been torn clean from her body. How could she forget so easily? Andy didn't know how to feel anything other than grief. All she could do was cling to that memory of her two closest friends, standing right in front of her; to Steve and Bucky, wrapping her in their arms.

It was devastating to realize that the three of them would never be able to hold each other like that ever again. Andrea thought back to Steve and his small frame. No one but her would ever know the true fight that his fragile body contained. But, Bucky? In the place where he was supposed to be─ in the consciousness of her mind─ there was only emptiness.

He was gone.

However, his memory remained. Andy choked on her barely-restrained sobs as she clung to the echo of his arms still wrapped around her, holding her in an embrace that one could only describe as loving. In her mind, she could see Bucky's eyes smiling as he laughed at something she couldn't care to remember.

It made her want to scream. Her throat felt tight as she recalled the three of them─ so happy and so unaware of what was to come. Bucky had always been good to her and how had Andy repaid him? By forgetting the very man she had fallen in love with.

In that moment, Andrea was sure that there were no words to explain how much sorrow she felt for losing everything. If it had been up to her, she would've held onto these memories and cherished them forever. But, the decision had never been hers to make and now all that she was left with was an overwhelming sense of loss.

Still, Andrea couldn't help but despise herself. She should have done something─ anything─ to hold onto these fragments of her past. Surely, if they meant so much to her, she would have fought for them? They were all she had left of the people she once knew.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as more tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Though, Andy didn't bother to hold them back. The pain of longing that reverberated throughout her was too overwhelming to restrain. She didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

However, Andrea found that she wouldn't have to endure the weight of her pain much longer. Within the next moment, the agony that seemed etched into her very soul began to fade until it was replaced with a new memory; a remembrance of herself and the life she lived.

[ MEMORY ONE. ]

Andy couldn't seem to take her eyes off of the sky. It's beautiful and cloud-filled blue made her feel content in a way that felt rare enough to cherish. The air was warm and the gentle breeze that caressed the Jones girl's skin was soft as she laid against the grass. She closed her eyes, basking in the moment.

When she felt someone begin to gently play with her hair, Andrea turned her head and smiled. From where she lay with her head against his chest, Andy admired Bucky. Her gaze followed the lashes framing his eyes, to the slightly tousled hair adorning his head. Everything was quiet between them and Andrea was thoroughly enjoying her study of the Barnes man's features.

Until Bucky chuckled, lifting his head to meet her gaze. Unabashed, Andy grinned and looked away. It was only after the pair fell back into silence did she speak up, "So, where's our third?" She was referring to Steve, who the trio were rarely seen without.

Andrea shifted so that her head now rested upon Bucky's arm as they laid side-by-side. Along his chest, the pair's hands found their way to each other and their fingers entwined. Bucky let out a small sigh, "I don't know. I was kind of planning on just spending the day with you." The admittance came with a sheepish shrug.

Andrea rose a brow and lifted her head. Bucky's ears had turned a light shade of red and Andy laughed softly. She at up, leaning over him to place a messy kiss on his cheek. Bucky furrowed his nose, but there was a smile resting on his lips nonetheless.

"How sweet," Andy teased, leaning over him so that she was meeting his gaze evenly.

Before he could react, Andrea lowered her head and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. Upon pulling away, she grinned at the sight of his wide-eyed surprise. If it were possible, it seemed as though his ears had reddened more. Andy would be lying if she said she didn't like the effect she had on him─ not that Bucky didn't have an equal effect on her.

The Jones girl simply found it amusing how she could make him stumble over his words, or make him look at her in awe. The pair weren't a couple, despite what many others would've assumed considering their friendship. Andy and Bucky kept their affection for each other mostly in privacy. She didn't want to say that it was complicated, but it was.

The two both liked each other, that much was true. But, Andy had never really thought of Bucky or herself as one for the formalities of a relationship. In most cases, your first was meant to be your last and having something like that dictated for her scared Andy. So, she didn't bother with  and neither did he.

Besides, Andrea had more important things to worry about and she needed no one to complete her life. She was happy being left to do as she pleased or to work her volunteer job as a nurse at the local hospital. Andy figured it was easier this way, to call him nothing more than a friend. To have a falling out with Bucky over involved feelings, like so many other friends had, wasn't appealing.

Though, Andy had to admit that it was nice to feel cared for in this way. Bucky made her feel safe and, with that thought in mind, she began to hum as she settled back into his arms. The only sounds that could be heard were the swaying of the grass, the birds singing in their nests, and the soft rustle of trees as the wind swept through their branches.

It was moments like these that she felt truly at peace.

However, that feeling lasted only a moment before Bucky decided to blurt out the news, "I've enlisted in the army." The words were spoken so simply, as if the decision didn't hold weight. Andy couldn't say anything for a moment. What the Barnes man had just told her seemed almost impossible to comprehend.

But, once the words seemed to register, Andy was quick to pull herself up from the ground. She felt numb with her shock. She turned to face Bucky, confusion evident upon her features as she tried to work out what to say. But, all the female could manage out was a whispered, "What?"

Bucky carefully followed her actions, sitting up with a sigh. He frowned as he took in Andy's stunned state. Though, to say that the Jones girl was shocked would have been an understatement. She was hurt. Just as everything seemed to fall into perfect rhythm, she was snapped back to the reality that the real world is brutal─ and she was no exception to it.

It was a harsh blow.

She would have liked to say that she was happy for him. But, hadn't honesty always been a part of their friendship? Suddenly, she couldn't remember. Her mind felt blurry with fear. How could she stand by and watch as he left for something like this? It was selfish of her to want him to stay, but she couldn't help it.

The thought of him getting hurt and never coming back was a terrifying concept. It scared Andrea in a way she had never felt before. Andy didn't know what she would do if she lost him. It was more than him being someone intimate to her─ he was her best friend and her rock above all else.

"I leave in little over a month," Bucky continued, his tone gentle; as if it would ease the impact of his words. Andy reeled back in shock and annoyance was quick to join the ranks of her mixed emotions. She tripped over her cluttered thoughts.

There were so many questions, but all she could think to ask was, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The tone of her voice betrayed just how hurt she felt.

Bucky kept his eyes averted, "I didn't know how you would react and I wanted to spend these last few weeks happy─ with you." His gaze remained glued to the ground. Andy was silent. For a long while, she didn't know what to say.

She took a deep breath and tried to sort through the emotions. As she curled into herself, Andrea wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close to her chest. She couldn't seem to comprehend the whirlwind inside of her. All she knew was that this war was pure horror and Andy wanted none of it to touch him.

She'd been lucky enough that the world was keeping Steve out of it. But, no matter how hard she tried, Andrea knew she couldn't stop what was bound to happen. Bucky had already made up his mind and Steve, well, he was dead-set on trying his luck wherever he could. They're too good for me, Andy thought with a sense of defeat.

Andrea felt lost as she tried to figure out what to say. She felt Bucky's arms wrap around her from behind, but his presence only made her feel more selfish. Swallowing her objection, she closed her eyes and held tightly to the arms that held her.

"I wish I could be mad at you," she began, before laughing bitterly "─who am I kidding? I'm furious, but I know I shouldn't be." The lump in her throat felt suffocating as she tried to hold back tears.

Bucky's arms gave her a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay," he whispered, "I know." Andy felt her heart ache. She could hear it in his voice; how much this was hurting him just as it was her. But, it was a choice he had already made and it couldn't be undone. She couldn't force him to change his mind and, truthfully, she didn't want to.

He made his own decisions, just as she did.

Andy felt Bucky's head dip into the crook of her neck, heard the inhale of his shaking breath. He was scared and she knew it. No words needed. Andy turned to face him and it pained her even more. Her eyes travelled his features like it was the last time she would ever look at him so clearly again.

"Believe me, I want this war over as much as the next person─" Andy inhaled sharply, "but I can't stand the thought of you leaving and not coming back." Her voice was hushed as her eyes begin to sting.

"Hey," Bucky pulled back and shook his head, "don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Despite the conviction to his voice, she couldn't bring herself to believe him. He pressed his forehead against hers and wrapped her hand in his. "Wait for me, Andy," he whispered and, staring at him, Andy knew she would wait for as long as he asked.

Bucky pulled back and pressed her hand to his lips, "I promise, I'll be back." He paused then, searching her expression. The tears had subsided, but the fear still had its jaws clamped against her throat.

"I just want you to take care of yourself─" Bucky hesitated, "and take care of Steve. Make sure he's not getting into trouble, God only knows that kid's the biggest trouble magnet there is." He gave a light-hearted chuckle. Andy couldn't meet his eyes as she gave a half-hearted smile in return.

Bucky sighed, "Look at me, Andy." His finger traced a path from her forehead to the line of her jaw, but still she faltered. If she looked at him, all she would see were the things she would lose. Her heart gave another ache. She didn't know if she could manage it.

However, at his request, Andrea forced herself to slowly lift her head. Her heart was stuttering in her chest. She had always thought that's what happened when you were in love─ not when you were afraid of it. Bucky cupped her cheek with his hand. His touch was gentle as she met his stare.

"I'm serious," he began, holding her eyes, "I'll be okay. You know I always am." The smile he gave was a sad one. This was different and they both knew it. Without warning, Andrea felt warm tears begin to fall and Bucky's smile faded. She hardly realized that she'd begun to cry.

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered, soothing even in spite of the distress on his features. Softly, his thumbs erased any trace of the Jones girl's tears. Andy felt foolish, but this was hard. Regardless of her feelings for Bucky, he was her friend first and foremost. It was hard to imagine being without him or Steve.

Still, this was what he wanted, and so Andrea told herself it was her responsibility to be happy for him. She had known Bucky from childhood and it was always him taking care of Andy or Steve. She knew he was more than capable of taking care of himself. She just had to trust him.

The brunette pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded, determined not to let her sadness show as the tears slowed to a stop. Why be upset? It wouldn't change his mind. "I just want you to promise me one thing," she sniffed.

"Anything," Bucky replied, the words near instantaneous. Andrea laughed at his eagerness. But, for a while afterwards, the two were silent. Bucky waited patiently as Andy hesitated, unsure of herself as she considered her words. This was war. There were never any promises. But, she had to hear it from him.

Andy couldn't meet his eyes as his fingers interlocked with hers, giving a comforting squeeze. She was way in over her head. "I want you to promise that you'll come home to me, even if it's when your heart has stopped beating. I don't─" she paused, inhaling deeply as her eyes closed.

"I don't want to lose you forever," she told him.

Nothing was said for a long while and Andy felt her face flush as Bucky's fingers traced the arch of her brow, to her nose, to her lips. She opened her eyes, afraid that she'd revealed too much. This was never supposed to be serious─ but, Andrea knew better. This had never been a simple comfort for either of them. It hadn't been for a long time.

She saw it in the way his eyes never left hers in a crowded bar on a night out dancing. She felt it in the way his hand never strayed far from her own. Andy knew what she felt for Bucky was something more when the idea of losing him seemed to etch a deep cavity in her chest.

Andrea Claire Jones was head over heels and she had no idea what to do about it.

Bucky watched her carefully. His silence was jarring, until his expression softened and he leaned closer. "I promise, Andrea Claire, I'll come home to you," he halted then, mere inches from her face. Her heart was a rhythmic mess. "It's always been you," he said, before pressing his lips to hers.

Andrea's felt the nervous knot in her stomach release all at once. She was hardly thinking about his words as she pulled him closer─ stealing this moment of bliss that world seemed so desperate to tear from her. Nothing about this was full of sparks; it was full of an intense and overwhelming desperation to etch every piece of Bucky Barnes into memory.

She would miss all that she loved about him.

Not just the good things, but the stubbornness and the challenge as well. In that second, Andrea promised herself that she would never forget him─ not even the smallest detail. The Jones girl would remember the way his eyes wrinkled whenever he laughed, the way her heart stuttered when he looked at her.

Andrea would remember everything, and she was keeping that promise.

[ MEMORY TWO. ]
( after memory one. )

"What did you do?" Bucky's demand was spoken softly, but there was a weight to his words. His gaze was furious as he glared at Andy. He'd hardly made it through the door before he confronted her. The female took a deep breath as she realized what this was about. She knew that he would find out, she just wished that time would have prolonged it until she was ready.

Andrea held his eyes carefully. "I enlisted as a nurse," she said slowly. Bucky's gaze never strayed and neither did her own. She could see how frustrated he was with the situation, but she had made her choice. She wasn't going to sit around and simply wait for his return. Andy wanted to do something meaningful with her time, and this was her doing that.

"Are you crazy? What if you get hurt!" Bucky was fuming, and his voice grew significantly louder with each word. Andrea didn't really understand his anger and, frankly, it irritated her. If he would let her explain how she wasn't exactly going to be on the frontlines, then maybe he would realize that his concern (or annoyance) was unnecessary.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Andy bit back as she crossed her arms over her chest. They were both glaring at each other now. She couldn't fathom what it was that set him off about this. Unlike him, it wasn't as if she were headed straight into the war.

"Do you even know the first thing about being a nurse?" Bucky's demand was a scoff at the Jones girl's skill. For what seemed like the first moment in her life, Andrea found herself stunned into complete silence. With a stinging realization, she wondered if this person she considered a friend truly knew anything about her.

Had he ever asked about her career interest before? Did he even know about the volunteer work that she did? Or, was she nothing more than someone the Barnes man could show off? With numb understanding, Andy nodded as a bitter smile formed on her lips.

Clearly, she had been mistaken.

Andy laughed, but the sound was without humour. Her chest felt tight suddenly, hurt that he had never really wanted to know her. "It's been almost a year," she said softly, but the words were clear in his silence. Even as she spoke, Andy couldn't bring herself to look at him. This realization burned too much.

"That's how long I've been working as a volunteer nurse─" her eyes cut to his with a scathing look, "and maybe you would have known that if you'd actually cared enough to ask." Andrea couldn't help the heat behind her words. She was furious that he'd underestimated her abilities─ that he had never bothered to ask anything meaningful to really know her.

Bucky pursed his lips. For a while, there was only silence. "You're being ridiculous," he finally said, shaking his head.

Andrea hid her hurt by his lack of denial behind a sharp smile. Quickly, she channelled that feeling into anger. Her hands were shaking as her fingers curled into fists, "I'm being ridiculous? Why, because I want to help people?"

She narrowed her eyes on him, "No, James, you don't get to call me ridiculous. You made your choice, and I never tried to keep you from it." Why can't you do the same for me? It was the question that Andy couldn't bring herself to ask.

Bucky laughed, "Are you kidding me? Isn't that what this is about─ you enlisting because you don't want to leave me? I didn't make my choice to be slowed down by some girl." Andy reeled back with shock. Now, this was something beyond hurt. It was a complete disregard for who she thought she was to him.

In the time that Andrea attempted to work out her feelings, silence filled the room. She could see the remorse that had struck the Barnes man almost as soon as the words left his lips. But, Andy couldn't bring herself to care. All she could feel was her emotions flaring with anger as she turned her furious glare to Bucky.

She jammed a finger into his chest, "Have you ever thought that that maybe my whole world doesn't revolve around you?" Bucky watched her carefully, but he was smart not to cut in. "Don't ever mistake me as one of your meaningless girlfriends. Don't pretend like you know anything about me. I signed up because I want to help people."

"I know who I am and just because you don't, doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind." In spite of how even she kept her voice, Andrea wanted to scream, curse, and cry all in the same second. Never before had she felt so much emotion. It made her sick.

What had happened to wanting to spend their last few weeks happy? Now, all Andy wanted was to be left alone. Everything hurt, hurt, hurt. He never saw her as anything more.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but Andy quickly shook her head. "No, if you ever cared about me─ even for a small second─ you'll leave," she told him softly, as if the damage hadn't already been done. Any fight that had once been inside of her seemed to die out as her throat closed in on itself. This was all so ridiculous.

Were they really fighting over this?

Bucky didn't say anything for a while, lips pursed as he matched the girl's tired gaze. "I'll go," he agreed, "but I have to know." His voice was mournful. "Did you even think about Steve when you filled out that enlistment form?" The question left Andrea uneasy and she averted her gaze.

Bucky gave a huff of disbelief. He thought he was right; Andrea hadn't even thought of their friend when she decided to enlist. Though, the truth was far different. "Actually," she paused, tempted to tell him it was none of his business. But, he was Steve's friend just as much as she was. He had a right to know.

Andy kept her eyes from his as she continued, "A friend of my father's stopped by a couple days ago. I overheard them talking about a new program that the government's been working on..." It took everything within Andrea to meet Bucky's eyes, gauging his reaction.

"I may or may not have asked him to consider Steve for it. They're calling it the Super Soldier program," she explained. Bucky narrowed his eyes and suddenly Andy was rambling, "It took a lot of string pulling, but eventually they agreed to let him in and Steve said he'd try. He'll be trained at a military base and, with my being a nurse and his conditions, they're thinking of keeping me with him until I leave."

Andrea knew that she was adding gasoline to an already-lit flame, but Bucky was bound to find out about this either way. Why not get the pain over with now? They'd already done enough damage. Andrea kept her expression impassive as expressions of shock and disgust crossed Bucky's features.

"You're going to let him throw himself into this war?" Bucky's voice held accusation.

Andy rolled her eyes at his blatant misunderstanding. "No, I'm giving him a chance to fight for something that's worth it," her voice didn't waver. She was strong in her defence. "Like you said, this isn't a back alley and if fighting for freedom isn't good enough, then what is?"

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. He whirled on her, "If they accept him and he goes out to war and gets hurt─ gets killed─ then that's on you." Andrea was enraged with the way he pointed at her. "It'll be your fault because you were the one foolish enough to send him out," Bucky seethed.

Andy felt herself falter. Deep down, she knew that he was right. As much as she wished that she could prove the Barnes man wrong, she couldn't. If Steve was chosen and killed in the battle, who else was there to blame?

However, being the stubborn person that Andrea was, she didn't want to believe that such a thing could happen. Besides, it wasn't as if the odds were in Steve's favour. The program only allowed one person to be chosen for the serum. The chance that they would pick him were as low as possible and, yet, the fact did nothing to ease Andrea's mind.

Seeds of doubt had already been planted.

Though, as uneasy as she was, nothing erased her irritation in the lack of faith Bucky had. Just to spite him, Andy gave an impassive shrug, "Fine, say you're right. I'll take that responsibility and I'll live with it."

She cut him a scathing look, "But, at least Steve would have died for something worth the fight. All he's ever wanted is the chance to show the world the hero he really is, and I'll be damned if I hold him back from that." Her eyes were daring as she watched Bucky.

He took a daunting step closer, "A hero? Andy, this isn't some fictional story book! We're not hero's, we're soldiers and Steve─ Steve is just a kid stupid enough to try and throw himself into battle." Andy wanted to scoff. She couldn't help but suddenly doubt her judgement of the man before her.

Did he really know her or Steve at all?

Andrea set her shoulders. "No, Steve is brave and courageous. You may not see it in him, but he has got so much potential to do good in the world! All I'm doing is giving him the chance to prove it." She paused, but figured nothing could hurt worse anymore. "He's more of a hero than you'll ever be," she finished with blistering heat.

Bucky smiled bitterly, "You're right, I'm not a hero. Unfortunately, Andrea, we can't all hide in our imagination. But, given how childish you are, I'm not surprised that you do."

"Maybe that's because you've given me nothing else to believe in," Andy shot back with venom. The words tasted sour ─almost rotten─ on her tongue, but she didn't dare show remorse as she spoke them. Bucky's gaze never left her as she brushed past him to open the door.

Andrea held her arm out, gesturing for the Barnes man to leave─ and he didn't waste a second in storming out the door. Andy didn't bother to spare him another glance and he did the same, though he paused on the deck outside. "Don't bother with apologies," she told him coldly.

Andy didn't wait for a reply as she then slammed the door shut. With the bang that came alongside the actions, she felt as though all her anger was exhaled in a single breath. She crumbled in on herself.

In the aftermath, she felt disgusted. Andy had never fought with Bucky like this─with enough hurt that it felt like she could scar. She fell against the door, warm tears falling from her eyes as she tried to relieve the pain in her chest.

But, she knew it would never work.

[ OVER ONE WEEK LATER. ]

For the next week and a half, Andy refused to talk to Bucky─ not that he bothered to contact her either. Instead, she stayed at home, save for the occasional trips to town for her mother. Andy was overwhelmed with how boring her life had suddenly become. As much as the Jones girl hated to admit it─ she depended on Steve and Bucky.

They were her constant, but that often meant she neglected getting to know anyone else.

However, she was too stubborn to let herself go crawling back to apologize. Any thought about what happened was like playing with a tender bruise; it still hurt. Especially when she hadn't done anything wrong─ at least, not necessarily. She'd thrown insults that would've hurt anyone and Andrea wasn't ignorant enough to disregard Bucky being upset.

He had every right to be, considering she hadn't bothered to talk to him about the matter. Though, it wasn't as if Andrea allowed Bucky's opinion to have much sway in her life. Her choices were hers and hers alone. He couldn't change that and, until he realized so, Andy decided to keep to herself.

So, in the place of her two best friends, the Jones girl opted for hanging out with others. It wasn't as if Steve and Bucky were the only people she knew and, every so often, she would find herself being invited to catch up with old classmates. Rather than wallowing in her sorrows, Andy found that the comfort of people was one she could rely on heavily.

In less than a week, Andrea felt as if she'd reformed herself back to the social butterfly her high school self had once been. It was no secret that she had a certain charm to her personality. Where some called it brash, Andy rather preferred to say bold.

So, when she revealed her enlistment as a nurse, the Jones girl's newfound friends had deemed it necessary to celebrate. They invited everyone they knew to join them at one of the local bars. Andrea quickly decided that it wouldn't just be her own going-away party, but that it would also celebrate everyone foolish and brave enough to go to war.

She didn't bother to think about the possibility that she would run into Bucky there.

Andrea took one look around the room and pride swelled in her chest. Music was playing, people were dancing, and the sound of laughter and chatter were livelier than ever. It was almost as if the war never existed─ and, in a place like this, it truly didn't. The sadness of loss and loneliness touched no one here.

In-between the dancing and music, there was simply no time for it.

Andrea smiled, turning to jump off of her stool. She couldn't sit for too long. She had put a lot of effort into ironing out her dress and it would have been a shame to wrinkle it. As Andy set one foot on the floor, she inhaled a sharp gasp as her foot gave out. Clearly the dancing of the night had already gotten to her.

However, upon bracing herself for the impact of falling to the floor, the Jones girl was surprised when an arm reached out to steady her. Their grip around her waist was firm and comfortable and the chuckle that sounded was one Andy would know anywhere.

"I see you're still as clumsy as ever," Bucky pointed out.

Andy felt her stomach knot with apprehension. She forced a smile, "You act as though it's been a year─" she found herself faltering as she lifted her eyes to meet his. He was dressed in a suit and smiling as though nothing had ever happened. "Besides, you know me, I'm always clumsy," she finished softly.

Bucky stole her breath and, yet, it was so much more than that. He was the only one she saw in the whole room.

"I take it you like the suit?" He asked, though the grin on his lips told her that they both knew the answer. Andrea averted her gaze, looking out to the dance floor as if it would distract her from the blush crawling its way across her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't mean to tease."

His arm left her waist and the comfortable feeling was gone. Andy was struck with the sudden longing for everything to be okay again. She turned back to face him and shook her head, "No, it's fine. You look handsome." A half-hearted smile formed on her lips.

Bucky returned the gesture and silence fell between the pair. Andrea looked back to crowd of people dancing. The music had been upbeat at first, but the song had faded into a slow one. Bucky held out a hand and the Jones girl's heart stuttered in her chest.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked her. Andy pursed her lip, knowing the invitation would call for a conversation she wasn't quite ready for.

Even so, she couldn't bring herself to say no as she gently laid her palm in his and allowed him to lead her out to the dance floor. Andy let her free hand rest above his shoulder, while he laid his upon her waist. The comfort that came with being close to him returned, but Andy could still sense the lingering awkwardness between them.

She felt as though they were a high school couple, not two long-time friends.

Andrea almost laughed at the thought, but settled for a smile instead. "Andy?" Bucky questioned softly, drawing closer to the female. There was hesitation to his voice. Andy felt suddenly nervous. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, even as much as she wanted to.

Gently, she laid her head against his shoulder and sighed. Andy hated this. She hated having to keep a tenuous grasp on self-control in order to keep from blurting out all the apologies she could think of. Bucky didn't even need to speak for her to know what he wanted to say.

Andrea had seen it the day before, when the Barnes man had managed to catch a glimpse of her at the grocery store. She hadn't given him enough time to confront her, too afraid to face him herself. But, there'd been a restless eagerness in his eyes. One that she had grown all-too-familiar with in the days since their fight.

"You don't have to say anything, I know," she whispered, biting her lip as her heart lurched in her chest. She had spent nearly every minute since that day trying to push the fight from her mind. But, every moment was spent in vain.

She could have had thousands of people surrounding her and she still would have managed to think of him. To regret everything she'd done to upset him. She may not have felt the need to apologize for her decisions, but that didn't mean Andy had wanted them to fight or that she'd intended to hurt Bucky. It was the last thing she could ever want.

"No," the Barnes man pulled away from their embrace. "I have to say something, otherwise I'll just spend every waking minute regretting that I didn't." The concern on Bucky's features silenced Andy right there. "I was out of line and I had no right to say anything. I know I haven't been the greatest friend or the man that you deserve-"

Andy usually liked to consider herself a girl of patience where it concerned her two best friends. But, when it came to the two of them doubting themselves, she had never been able to simply stand by. She scoffed, "Are you crazy?"

Andy cupped the the lower half of Bucky's face with one hand, "Buck, one bad thing doesn't erase all of the good you've brought into my life." She smiled softly, brushing her thumb gently against his cheek. "I appreciate the apology, but don't take all the blame for yourself. How could I have expected you to know about my work if I never told you?"

Bucky huffed and averted his eyes, "I was the one who never asked."

Andrea grinned as she gently guided his eyes back to her. "Bucky Barnes, stop blaming yourself. As the judge and jury, I'm telling you that you're innocent." The grin on her lips was one that the Barnes man couldn't help but chuckle at. But, Andy wasn't finished, "I'm sorry too, I said things I shouldn't have. Things I didn't mean."

Bucky pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I think we both did," he replied. The atmosphere seemed to ease into a comfortable silence after that and Andrea rested her head upon Bucky's shoulder once more.

She was relieved that everything seemed to be resolved, though, she knew the Barnes man had more to say. "I just want you to─" Bucky paused then, as if he didn't know how to finish. The Jones girl didn't push him to hurry and allowed him to take his time. He would've done the same for her.

He sighed, "Take care of yourself─ and take care of Steve. I don't know what I'd do if either of you got hurt." Bucky tightened his hold on her ever so slightly. The Jones girl hummed before a chuckle escaped her lips. She lifted her gaze to look up at the man and smiled.

"Says the man who's actually going head-first into the battle," she pointed out.

The words elicited a grin. "Kind of ironic, huh?" He questioned and Andy shrugged as if to say, 'just a little.' Bucky chuckled at that before the atmosphere settled once more. They continued to sway to the music, even as the song slowed to a close.

Andy exhaled a large breath, "Don't worry, Buck. You know I'd do anything to keep him safe. I always have." A gentle smile formed on her lips as she looked up at him. Bucky grinned and, before the female could understand what was happening, he leaned down and pulled her into a kiss.

Andrea's heart gave way to a flurry of palpitations. She felt as though she could burst into a thousand pieces in his arms. She pulled away and chuckled, "You really think you're something slick. Don't you?" Bucky gave a shrug, mimicking the reply Andy had given only a few moments before.

The Jones girl shook her head and smiled before pulling the Barnes man in for another kiss. She was glad that the fight was over. She didn't want to spend the last few days they had together unhappy. They were going to move past this and they were going to savour all the good in their limited time with each other.

But, Andrea was a fool to believe that such a thing would last; the world had hardly ever been kind to her, and she should have known better than to forget it.

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