© Jojo B 2020

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Divine and Damned

Chapter 4

I felt a gentle hand cupped beneath my head, then the caress of a pillow. Blinking my eyes open, I peered up into Cassiel's face, his brows bunched together in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

I took a second to think, registering the splitting pain at the back of my head.

"My head hurts like hell," I mumbled, raising my hand to feel for a bump.

Cassiel stopped me, taking my hand in his and lowering them onto the bed beside me.

"You slipped on ice," Cassiel informed me, his lips drawn into a line of annoyance.

"Sammael?" I raised my brows.

He nodded, clenching his jaw for a moment, "He said he did not mean to, but he still should have been more careful."

"Wait, did I pass out?" I frowned at him.

He nodded, squeezing my hand, "For just a couple of minutes."

Letting out a sigh, I supposed it could have been more serious. Then the pounding pain in my head made me think better.

"Could you get me some painkillers, please?" I asked Cassiel.

"Of course," he stood up, leaving me in the room as he went to fetch some.

I winced as I lifted my head from the pillow, gingerly brushing my fingers against the back of my head. My hair felt damp, and I quickly withdrew my hand to inspect it, feeling my chest sink in relief when I saw it wasn't blood. Must have just been the ice that had melted into water.

Cassiel shortly returned with a glass of water and two white pills that I quickly washed down. He'd brought a chair from the kitchen to sit beside the bed, making me smile softly.

"I'm not dying, Cassiel, you don't have to sit here like that," I reached for his hand again.

The corner of his lips lifted, "I know that, I just want to talk to you."

"About what?" I looked at him questionably.

"Your rash."

Dread settled over me like a stifling blanket, knowing I'd have to have this conversation sooner or later. Ignoring it wouldn't make it go away, evidently.

"You said it looked like the number six hundred and sixty-six," my expression was flat.

"Six-six-six," Cassiel repeated.

"When you say it like that, it sounds scary, Cassiel!" I moaned, biting on my lower lip.

Another smile graced his lips, "There is nothing to be scared about. We are going to figure it out."

"Randal did it to me," I said after a pause. "He must have done it when he attacked me...after I killed Holly."

Cassiel nodded, his brows furrowing in thought.

"I don't know why though!" I blurted. "Surely he would have made sure I died, you know, revenge and all that."

"Well, you did die," Cassiel reminded me.

"That's true," I rubbed my thumb against the back of his hand. "You brought me back."

"My prayers did, not me," he said, brushing some of my hair out of my face with his other hand.

"Same thing," I curled my hand behind his head, pulling him down to kiss him softly.

Cassiel breathed me in as his lips met mine, his tingling fingertips grazing across my cheek and jaw. I yearned to kiss him harder, grab him and drag him onto the bed with me, but my headache told me no. Eventually I broke off the kiss, panting lightly as I looked up at him.

"There's something else I think I should tell you," I hesitated, not sure of its relevance.

"Okay," he sat back on the chair again, waiting intently.

I took a breath, licking my already moist lips, "I've been...having a lot of accidents lately. Like what happened in the bathroom. I'm practically aching all over, since it's so frequent."

"What happened?" Cassiel's eyes glimmered fiercely.

"Well, over the last few weeks I've almost been hit by a tree branch, almost been hit by a car, fallen down the stairs – and that time I was certain I felt someone grab my ankle, and now this fall in the bathroom," my eyes pierced his.

"Someone grabbed your ankle?" Cassiel repeated lowly.

I nodded, "I thought it was Joe, but he swears it wasn't him."

"Are you sure it was not him?"

"Well, yeah," I answered. "He looked like he was telling the truth. I don't think he'd pull a move like that anyway."

Cassiel sighed, shaking his head to himself, "This is not good."

"What do you think is happening?" I tried to search his downcast eyes.

"It has to be Randal," is all he said. "I do not understand it, but I will not let anything happened to you."

"You can't be with me all the time, Cassiel," I breathed, despite how much I wished he could be, right then.

He met my eyes, "I have to try to do something."

"Maybe stay with me tonight?" I asked him. "I still get bad dreams sometimes."

"You do?" worry hovered over his face.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal," I scoffed with a smile. "I know it's not real."

"Well, I will sneak into your room tonight then," he nodded.

"Okay," I smiled back softly.

I looked down when I felt his hand shaking in mine.

"When was your last drink?" I glanced at him with a light frown.

"Two days ago," he replied.

It was clear he was desperately craving alcohol after going without for so long. I knew he hated his flaw, both of them, but trying to ignore the drinking would only lead to him having a big binge.

"Cassiel, you need to –"

"I cannot," he cut me off. "Definitely not tonight."

"No one is going to try to hurt me," I tried to assure him, cupping his cheek.

"But Randal –"

"Isn't here," I interrupted. "...Well, not yet anyway."

The thought of the demon returning made chills break out over my body, but I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't happen. If he was going to come back, why had he taken so long?

***

That night Cassiel snuck into my room as discussed, coming through my bedroom window. I welcomed him with open arms, sleepily pulling the hood off his head.

"Why did you come so late?" I looked up at him.

"Your mother was in the living room, I did not want her to hear me climbing the wall outside," he smiled.

"It still amazes me how you can even climb using just the gaps between the bricks for grip," I shook my head, mystified.

Cassiel shrugged, even brushing a shoulder, "What can I say?"

My face broke into a grin as I pushed him in the chest, "Shut up, Cass."

Turning back to my bed, I got in under the sheets again, feeling them sail smoothly against my legs. I was wearing pyjama shorts and an oversized t-shirt, since the night was cooler than expected. Cassiel stripped to his boxer shorts and joined me under the sheets, barely giving me enough time to admire his angelic birthmarks.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled in amusement when I pulled the sheets down to his midriff.

"I like to trace them," I said softly, running my finger along the jagged lightning bolts that marked his shoulders.

His birthmarks may not have glowed in the dark like Micah's, but under the gentle light of my lamp they still shimmered like pale blue paths that held a thousand stars. Cassiel shivered lightly when I softly dragged my hand to his chest, brushing my fingertips along the patterns his birthmarks made. They resembled a tree, with its branches spreading across his chest and its trunk disappearing past his waistband. Or there was the biological version Cassiel mentioned, of an axon spreading its dendrites or something like that.

Cassiel rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around me in a warm embrace. I tried not to laugh when he covered my neck in ticklish kisses.

"Stop," I shook with silent laughter.

"No," he grunted back, smiling against my skin.

"Two can play that game," I whispered, digging my fingers into his sides as I tickled him back.

Cassiel didn't react, making me pull a horrified face.

"You're not ticklish?" I stared at him.

"What?" he pulled back to look at me. "I guess not."

"No," I shook my head. "Everyone has a ticklish spot, even the ones who aren't ticklish."

"Whatever you say," he couldn't have cared less, but I was determined to prove myself right.

I spent the next ten minutes tickling various spots across Cassiel's body, even using different tickling methods. I went with the cracked egg approach on his knees, the feather duster on his stomach, even the spider tickle under his chin. Still nothing.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Cassiel looked at me with wide eyes when I started spreading his legs.

"Tickling you, relax," I chuckled back.

He allowed me to part his legs, though the tension in his muscular thighs and abs showed he wasn't sure what to expect. I swallowed, avoiding looking at his crotch as I ran my fingers between his inner thighs. The sudden gasp my action elicited was jackpot. Cassiel clenched his thighs shut, pulling my hand out from between them and then trapping me in his arms once again.

"That is enough for tonight," his breath fanned across my skin.

"Fine by me," I was still grinning. "Now I know your ticklish spot."

He shook his head before kissing the tip of my nose, "Go to sleep, Vienna."

He turned off my bedside lamp, and I snuggled against him, tucking my head under his chin. Resting peacefully against him, I let myself get carried away by the lull of his chest rising and falling. I was almost asleep when I felt the sudden tremor that rattled through me.

"Cassiel?" I cracked my eyes open with a frown.

"It is nothing," he responded.

The shaking hadn't stopped, and I realised then that he was showing withdrawal symptoms again. Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself away from him and sat up, my heart pinballing against my ribcage.

"I told you to drink something," I glared at him. "If you keep ignoring it, you'll end up drinking too much at once. That's dangerous Cassiel, even for you."

"I can handle it," he argued back, keeping his voice low. "I need to be alert in case something happens tonight."

"Nothing is going to happen tonight!" I hissed. "Don't you think one near-death experience is enough for the day?"

"You can never be too sure," he muttered back.

I blinked hard, forcing myself to breathe out slowly. His eyes were sparkling out of anger, and I was too stubborn to admit to myself how beautiful they still made him look.

"Do what you want then," I sent him another dark look before laying down, my back facing him.

Neither of us spoke for a painfully long time, but I knew he was still as wide awake as I was. I stared into the gloom, doing counting exercises and whatever other rubbish they taught me growing up. Slowly my heartbeat returned to its normal rate, but I didn't turn around to face Cassiel.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence I knew we were both suffering in, I shut my eyes again, attempting to go back to sleep. I could feel the way Cassiel was shaking on the mattress, and it only made anger threaten to raise its head again.

My shoulders were still tensed when I felt Cassiel's hand slowly rest on my waist. Rolling my eyes, I let my hand crawl towards his, laying it on top as I threaded my fingers between his. After a few moments, I couldn't take the quivering anymore and I turned to face him, pulling his body against mine. I stroked his hair and rubbing up and down his thick arm, trying to soothe the discomfort he was in.

"It's okay, Cass," I murmured quietly.

He held me just as close, gripping my t-shirt between his fingers. My actions seemed to dispel his distress, as Cassiel fell asleep not long later. Once he was still and the tremors had lessened, I let myself drift off too.

I must have only been asleep for a couple of hours, since I abruptly woke feeling just as tired as I was before. I clung onto Cassiel's sleeping form, trying to shake off the tendrils of sleep that still swathed me. I didn't want to go back there and see Holly's wide-eyed, enraged face as I drove the blade between her ribs and into her chest. It always felt so real, the hot sticky blood that covered my hands at an incredible fast rate. The guilt soaked me through to the bone, even after I'd woken up. I didn't regret it, since she'd been about to kill me, but I also wished it hadn't happened.

It was at times like these, in the dead of the night, when I missed Sariel the most.

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A lot of Vienna and Cassiel in this chapter! <33

What did you think?

J

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