17 - Focus and Hold Together
Time waits for no one.
General Hux has officially been deemed in a comatose state, which proves to be lucky for myself and Ben. What isn't is a rumor swirling around the base: the Supreme Leader is making a personal visit very soon.
There is no ETA on when he will come. Our time crunch has gotten that much worse.
On a slightly positive note, my wound has healed. While it is not one-hundred percent, I can function enough. Breathing is still hard at times, every inhale and exhale gives me a wave of pain.
Ben and I train less, mostly due to my injury. When we do, it's slower, more basic stuff. It's more Force oriented, which doesn't require as much movement on my part.
I have a little appetite as I eat in the cafeteria. I pick at the food and eat slowly. I'm waiting for that dreadful summoning to the Supreme Leader. I dread feeling his presence through the Force, a fatal sign that our time is up.
If we don't escape before Snoke arrives, we may have to try and fight our way through him to get out. I barely have a scope on his abilities and what he is capable of. That's what frightens me the most.
It's scarce in the cafeteria. It's also weird to see troopers eating like normal people. I usually don't see what lies behind those helmets. For once, they don't seem so mindless, until I see how quiet they are. They focus on their food and nothing else. The only interaction I see is them acknowledging each other with a nod.
If only they had personalities, it would make the First Order seem a little diverse.
I don't stick around long enough to be noticed; I grab my food and move on. I eat on the way, taking my time around the base. Troopers clad in white armor pass by without acknowledgement. Mouse droids squeak and roll on the polished cold floors. Occasional announcements are overhead through the speakers.
I imagine Snoke is coming to Starkiller base for one reason only: he senses a traitor in his midst. He'd sort of be right. I'm not technically a traitor; I've never truly been loyal to the First Order. But perhaps that won't matter in Snoke's eyes.
Either way, he'll want me dead.
My mind is running miles a minute with different thoughts. Scenarios. Outcomes. Escape plans. Death wishes. Wishful thoughts. They're all tangled together in a messy blob that's starting to give me a headache.
As I finish the last bits of my food on the go, I'm pulled out from the hall, into a separate one. I go for one of my sabers, but relax once I realize it's Ben. The worry on his face is not promising.
"I may have an idea," he says in a hurry.
"Okay?"
"If we get outside, it'll be easier to take a ship. We can try and take off its tracker so they can't follow us."
"Um, Ben, do you even know how to do that any of that? I mean, I'm not a pilot, nor an expert on ship specs." I sigh. "I'm worried too, but we can't let the panic make us do rash things. We need a plan for all possible scenarios."
"I've been thinking about that."
"That's dangerous, considering the plan you just told me about."
His face dips into a scowl. "Going with my first plan, we could make up something. By the time they'd question and realize it, we'd be long gone."
"That's assuming that would work, and if we could turn off tracking. Next scenario, next idea."
"We make a run for it in the forest."
"Gee, that doesn't scream guilty," I snarl. "You're a smart man, Solo. Start acting like it and use that brain that's in that skull of yours."
"There's one other idea, but you'll hate that one, because it's suicide."
"Unfortunately, I still want to hear it anyway."
"If we don't flee by the time the Supreme Leader arrives, we'll have only one option."
I raise a brow. My mind goes to one blip of a thought, but, if it's what's on Ben's mind, he's right: it's totally suicidal. "I thought the forest run was stupid, but that is the top of the list. We can't...we can't fight Snoke and kill him! You know the deformed asteroid head better than I do! Do you honestly believe we can win against him?"
"If you listen to me, we can have a shot."
I look around before gesturing for him to move. We enter a separate room, with us as sole occupants. I relax slightly. "If you got any more excited, the whole base would've heard you. So, back to the insanity of your murder plan."
"You and I both know Snoke can invade minds and scavenge for what he wants. He sees what he seeks. If we can trick him into thinking what he wants to happen...If we set it up correctly, we could kill him."
"Yeah, smart plan. So, how does that go over with the rest of the First Order? We can't pawn off his murder as suicide! You and I can't take the blame, that's asking for our heads off our bodies!" I growl in exasperation. "Even if we could, say, hide Snoke, we'd still have to get off this forsaken base! All these plans seem to have one result: we don't make it out alive."
"I don't hear you pitching ideas, Amara. What, do you want to wait this out until the right moment? We may never get that, especially if the Supreme Leader is coming to confront you or myself, or both of us. We can't play First Order forever, like you said. It would...we would both suffer. I'm tired of suffering in this hole."
"Killing Snoke won't free us from this." I gesture around the room. "If anything, it might...it might fling us down the Dark Side. What if we kill him we get a taste for it? I know I hated killing Cayden, but he was my best friend. Snoke isn't and never will be. He's not a friend to you, just someone who's been pulling your strings for so long." My voice is growing hoarse. "There is no easy way out of this."
"There is a way."
Though our arguing can go much further, it doesn't. He must feel what I sense at the same time, because my heartbeat skyrockets in my chest. The presence is like a growing storm threatening overhead. It seems to grow even darker. I'm pretty sure the temperature has dropped a few degrees.
There's something in my gut that tells me that things are about to come to a head much sooner than we're ready for.
"You feel it, too?" Ben asks me.
"I do. What do we do?"
"I know where he will be. He will ask for us soon enough. It's better that we go to him instead of making him wait."
"I-I agree." I swallow.
"I'm frightened too, Mar." He plays with a lock of my blonde hair. "But whatever happens, we're on the same side. We need to convince the Supreme Leader that we are on his, until we strike. We need to focus and hold together."
"Well, then I guess we shouldn't let him wait."
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