He kept looking at me. Standing by the alter, Quinn's bouquet in hand, I could hardly keep up with the couple's vows. Those blue eyes were distracting, and not for good reasons. Piercing eyes burning into my soul, every few minutes I'd look over and Glenn was already looking my way. He'd shoot me a small smile, a smile that one could easily interpret as a sharing of secrets. There was no secret. Was that supposed to be flirting? I didn't like flirting. I didn't even know how to flirt.

       Beside me, Josie, coughed to cover a chuckle. She had caught my accidental frown. I couldn't help it. This was uncomfortable. His sister was getting married! Had he no better things to look at? I certainly didn't want to miss this milestone in Quinn and Eva's life. Thus, with tunnel vision, I focused on the couple.

       "Honey." Lada laughed at my panicked mess. Sat atop the marble countertop of the reception hall's bathroom, she sipped her marguerita amusedly. "Just do what feels natural."

       Did that mean I could go home? "Nothing feels natural!" I complained instead. "This is weird, and I haven't had a second to pull my thoughts together because he never leaves my side."

       "He's not clingy. This is very normal date behavior."

       "I'm literally pretending to pee, just for a brief escape. He's probably waiting outside!" I lowered my voice in the likely chance that I was right.

       "It's a date," Lada reminded, failing to conceal her amusement. "Your first legitimate one. He's trying to make it special."

       "Well, it's stressing me out."

       Lada studied me, from the bunched brows to my tense shoulders and winced. "Oh dear," she said seriously. Brows raised she jumped off the counter. "Maybe Bella would be better at this. I saw her shove a bunch of crystals in her bra. She must have a stress one or something."

       I shook my head. "I need you," I urged. "You're good at this stuff. You're confident—"

      "Is this about confidence?" she inquired seriously, standing behind me to study both our figures in the mirror.

      "Lada—" I tried to protest.

       "You have beautiful, long eyelashes—"

       "I don't need a pep talk."

       "Shut up, idiot," she complained. There was the Lada I knew. "This is me trying to help. This is for the flirting."

       Sighing, I studied my reflection as she wanted. The hands holding my face didn't give me much of a choice anyways.

       "Your very nice lashes," she began again. "Bat them."

       I crinkled my nose disapprovingly. "I can't do that without looking like there's something in my eyes."

       Though I spotted the flash of hopelessness in grey eyes, her smile didn't falter.

      "Your hair's up so you can't twirl it," she thought out loud. "But this strand." She fingered the single strand of hair that hung by the side of my face. "When you laugh and it falls forward, brush it behind your ear while holding this gaze."

      I shrugged with disinterest. "Doesn't sound like me."

      "When he says something funny, don't just laugh, giggle and touch his bicep."

      "That doesn't sound like me, either."

      Corner of her red lips twitching downward, she was running out of ideas and doing so with immense irritation.

       "Linger a smile and bite the corner of your lip seductively. Again, eye contact."

      Seductive wasn't in my vocabulary. "I probably couldn't do that without drawing blood."

      Resolution finally breaking, Lada's smile disappeared. Thin lips in a firm line, icy eyes bore into mine. There she was. This was the Lada I knew and needed most. Brutally honest; no tongue biting.

       "Well, Christ!" she cried defeatedly. "I don't know what to tell you. Just be yourself."

      "That doesn't sound very promising."

      "I willingly hang out with you," she reasoned, nostrils only slightly flared. "I like you, and so will he."

       "The thought that being myself wouldn't be enough is what started this conversation," I said. "Your suggestion isn't going to make my night any less awkward."

       "Then it'll be awkward," she said resolutely. "But try to make the best of it. There's an open bar and dancing. Your ideal night. You love dancing."

      "I do." I wasn't very good at it, but a few drinks in and there was no stopping my cheesy shuffling.

      "Then do that!"

       "But he'll expect the sophisticated, flirty kind of dancing," I countered. "I'd rather dance around like an idiot with my friends."

      "Who cares what he expects? Dance for yourself. Dance around like an idiot with your friends, with Glenn by your side."

      I nodded, tight shoulders slowly relaxing. "Won't be very sexy," I remarked passively.

      "Not sexy works for some people."

      "Well, I've finally got something going for me."

       "Shut up," she laughed. "Do I really need to—"

      "No need for the sexy pep talk," I assured.

      "So, we're ready to go back? We've been in here so long, that I'll actually have to pee soon."

      "I've still got the excruciating nauseous sense of impending doom, but I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I angled myself towards the door. "Better go before he thinks I'm taking a massive dump. Don't want to push the non-sexy factor too far."

      Rolling her eyes, Lada took few long strides to join me. "Has he done anything wrong?" she asked curiously, brows slightly furrowed in concern.

      I shook my head. "He's been great. He's sweet, respectful... I just— I don't know."

      Lada smiled. "Then the nerves are probably a good thing. You know, this excruciating nausea isn't always a bad thing."

      "Yeah?"

      "Remember that first time I took you skydiving?" she nudged. "You described that same feeling, worse even. But you ended up loving it, and now we go every year."

      I nodded appreciatingly. "So, I just have to pull my big girl pants on and jump headfirst out the plane door?"

      "Don't forget the parachute." She pushed me out the door.

      "And if my parachute malfunctions, you'll be there to pick up my broken pieces?" I asked, suspiciously studying the hallway. No signs of Glenn yet. I had a few more seconds to gain my bearings.

       "Of course," she laughed. "But no need for rescue missions yet. He's not—"

      "Hey, there you are!" Exiting the men's bathroom just as we crossed it, Glenn smiled brightly.

       "Here I am," I replied in the same enthusiastic tone. I hoped he couldn't spot the tightness in my smile.

       Beside me, Lada was practically shaking with contained laughter.

       A brief silence overcoming the hallway as I waited for Glenn to take the lead and he me, we shuffled awkwardly by the bathroom door.

      "We were about to get refills on our drinks." Lada came to my rescue, breaking the painful silence. I knew I could count on her to double check the efficiency of my parachute.

        She didn't have to say anything else. Glenn and I made an eager beeline for the bar.

       Once I took Lada's advice and acted as I would have had I not been on a date, I had a great time. Glenn was as awful of a dancer as I was, which made for a lot of shared laughter. I spent most of the night, barefoot on the cool marble floor, twirling and shuffling around my friends. Song after song played, and before we knew it, guests began to leave until there was only our group and few of Eva's friends left. Time to call the party to end, we ended the night by waving Quinn and Eva off. I had arranged for a Mercedes to take the newlyweds to their honeymoon venue. As they left, so did most of the rest of the guests.

        A quarter past four in the morning, me, Lada and her husband Mark, and Glenn were the hall's only occupants. We had been elected to stay behind and clean the streamers and left-over alcohol. It was a big hall to clean, but still, whichever area I chose to work on, so did Glenn. Though he was acting like my shadow, he had grown on me throughout the night. We had a lot in common: he was the secretory at the vet clinic at which I had completed my apprenticeship, he enjoyed the same over the top reality shows I did, and he shared my inability to whistle. I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. But as soon as he started with the touching and flirting, my walls went up again. I reminded myself that it was meant to present a good sign; it meant he was interested. But I couldn't help but feel as though it was so unnatural, every muscle in my body straining instinctively. My friends had raved about countless dates, telling me all about their developing feelings and urges throughout the years, but this didn't feel like anything they had described, and I suspected it had nothing to do with Glenn. It was me. I was getting in my head. I had simply never experienced this. If I forced myself to endure these few awkward and uncomfortable moments, surely the appropriate feelings would eventually develop? Right? I just had to push through it. Just like I had pushed myself to jump out of the flying plane.

      So, when Glenn and I found ourselves in a dark corner, throwing red solo cups in a trash bag, and our heads crashed together as we accidently turned the same way, I pushed through it. I let him bring his lips down to my mine. I let him pull my chin up towards him and let him push me against the wall. I followed his lead. I pressed my lips against his as he did mine and copied the swirling movement of his tongue. Hands hanging loosely by my side, I waited for the raved about fireworks.

       They never came.

       Startled by the sound of rustling trash bags, Glenn pulled away. Wiping my lips on the sleeve of my cardigan, I looked up. Lada and Mark had turned the corner, watching us with intrigue. The blonde smirked my way.

       "Are you okay?" she checked in. The parachute had yet to fall apart.

      Absentmindedly, I nodded, and tried to ignore Glenn's cheeky grin.

     "Why don't you get out of here?" Lada suggested. "Mark and I can get the rest."

      "I wouldn't want to leave you with all this." I gestured towards the hall, pulse jumping in my throat. I wasn't sure that I liked what she was suggesting.

      "It's fine," she promised a little too eagerly. "We're almost done anyways."

      Picking at the skin on my thumb, I watched Glenn's expression of anticipation. There was no denying the hope in blue eyes.

      "Alright." I managed to answer despite the trepidation, a small bead of sweat forming on my forehead.

       Thanking Lada and Mark, Glenn took hold of my hand before leading me towards the exit. Few steps short of the glass doors, Lada sent me one last inquiring look, making sure I was truly alright. I had had lots of time to sober up since my last drink. Thought my instinct told me to shake my head, and jump into her protective arms, I nodded. This is what they thought I ought to be doing, right?

      Outside, Glenn called a cab, and we kissed some more as we waited. As we shared spit, as his slimy tongue danced along mine, I dared opened my eyes once in a while, anxiously awaiting the yellow cab. I prayed Glenn didn't notice my enthusiasm as I pulled away at the sight of headlights.

     "Address?" the cab driver asked.

      Glenn looked at the floor, almost shyly. His voice was low, clearly only for my ears. "If you don't feel like going home yet, you could always stop by my hotel."

      Pulse picking up again, I bit my lip as I studied him. He was good looking. He was kind and respectful. We had a lot of things in common. He was the textbook perfect date. So, I figured I might as well try. Maybe it would spark something, and I'd finally be able to feel what my friends did.

      I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Okay."

      Glenn gave the man the hotel's address, and I spent the car ride trying not to cringe at the hand rubbing circles against my thigh. I should have gone with a longer dress.