[A/N] Contains spoilers for up to Event 4 of Chimon's (S2's) Garden Mode FTE's, and when they eventually release, this will also be heavily tied to Tozen's.

Tozen

Chimon is asleep on my shoulder and I'm idly working on a crossword. I'm getting really stumped, though, and I'm starting to get bored of it.

My eyes flit across the page and I see an answer Chimon filled in when he was still awake. Seven down: an attractive person as well as something attractive in the pantry; snack. My body tenses up. AzumilikesmeAzumilikesmeAzumilikesme and that's so bad! I don't wanna deal with that! Part of me still clings onto the hope that maybe Chimon is wrong, just reading into her kindness. But he's too observant for that sort of thing.

Snack snack snack, I could use one, actually. Sensory stuff could help ground me, maybe? Keep me from overthinking? I gently, oh so carefully, shift Chimon into my arms and carry him to his bed, writing out a "have a wonderful day!" note for when he gets up so he doesn't feel abandoned; I know he wouldn't feel abandoned, but I'm trying to be as considerate of him as I would be of someone who could feel love a normal amount.

Once he's been properly attended to, I pop into the kitchen. Only supposed to have two sweets a week. But... this isn't my body. Everyone's already said that to me. This hardly counts. I snag a prepackaged cupcake— and then another, for my room, just in case I have a chance to share it. The chocolatey taste really does hold my attention for a while, and the sweet cream.

Oh crap, I left the puzzle books in the game room. Best to be polite and keep it clean. I toss the other cupcake onto my desk and rush to the game room. But along the way, I find that the parlor door is open and an enchanting, perhaps slightly eerie tune is playing. I gently peek my head in. Azumi and Bisque are in there. Bisque is sitting on his legs, staring up at her as if she hung the moon.

And he has every reason. She's doing a balancing ball— wait, no, she said it's called a walking globe— routine. Her costume and makeup are cutesy and a little doll-like with a poofy skirt, and this is the first time I've seen her hair out of a bun. This is possibly a weird comment to make, but she gets so into character with the performance that it's like the globe is her dearest friend, or maybe her lifeblood. Hard to know where she ends and it begins. Like a fairy bound to an object. It's easy to remember she's an athlete, but it's special when I get to see how much of an artist she is.

I almost forget to be scared.

When she concludes and takes a bow, Bisque cheers like crazy. She breathes and then giggles, like she hadn't been entirely sure she could do it. She then throws herself into his awaiting embrace, and the two twirl each other faster and harder until Bisque whacks his ankle onto some furniture, and she scrambles to console and care for him but he just keeps laughing, and then she laughs and they laugh and her head tilts back and she's—

The feeling comes like jump starting a car battery, or like splashing myself with ice water. It's like I'm suddenly a little more alive than I was a few minutes ago. Fuck. Fuck, I can't like her, I'm supposed to be pretending like this is all totally platonic. This isn't the plan. This is very much not the plan. Stupid heart, stop beating like it did back when you were with—!

"Haha... ha. Oh, hi, Tozen!" Goddammit, Bisque. I was counting on them to keep each other too distracted to notice me. Honestly, I should've left ages ago, but I couldn't look away.

To my horror, it's exactly like Chimon said. Her posture brightens even more— she looks impossibly happy— but she smooths out her hair and her outfit when she notices me. Is that subconscious? Is she trying to look nice for me? She already did. "Salutations! What an unexpected delight, that you have stopped by! Were you able to see me?"

"Most of it. You did great!" Don't betray anything. Don't lead her on, don't make her think there's a chance. But you can't hurt her or ignore her, either. She means too much to you. She stands up, glides over to me like she's in the clouds, and silently offers a hug. I accept even though I can feel a nervous sweat gathering at the back of my neck. Pat her back— patting someone while hugging is super platonic, right? She makes an affectionate sound. "I was just about to tidy the game room a bit. I left some stuff in there."

"Tozen! Play a video game with us! There's a fun co-op one I want to try with you! And it's cooking-themed!"

"I fear I will be more of a detriment than a help, but I vowed to participate."

Um... "Alright. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun!" I mean it, even if part of me wants to bail.

We play. Azumi is terrible— she's very new to video games— and Bisque encourages me to help her learn, since he's too focused on the game to be a good teacher. She leans in close to watch my hands, and at one point I scoot away before I can get a grip.

But the gameplay is the right kind of chaotic and distracting and it's hilarious to see Zu get competitive and try to rally us to victory, especially since she's bad. It's... it's really cute. Damn it. No. It's just a fun new quirk I discovered about my friend. Focus on the game.

Except, after we get three stars on a particularly difficult level, Bisque lightly tosses the controller over his shoulder. "I gotta go now! My parents want to go on a run with me soon! You two have fun!"

Wait. Shit. He's the one who roped me into this, he's the one who had me teach her, he's the one getting us alone together! Haruto's trying to be a wingman, isn't he?! Gotta leave, gotta LEAVE! Can't be alone with her anymore when she could confess at any time! "We should wrap it up. I need to go, too. I promised my sister we'd go shopping today." My ears are ringing.

I sprint to my bedroom and eject from the simulation the instant I make it there. Gasping for breath in the real world, I clutch at my chest. How could I let this happen?! I'm tricking Azumi into liking me and I'm not even giving her any sense of relief! But if she confesses, and I reject her like I have to, she'll leave me!

I can't lose her. This is so selfish and cowardly, but I can't lose her. I have to play this cool.

C'mon, Tozen. Keep up the act. You and she are best friends. The show must go on.