RICKY

Ricky would be lying if he said he didn't feel scared. His heart was racing against his chest. He took a step, moving from underneath one shadow to the next. He held his breath. Exhaling slowly as he took another step, he stopped to press his back against the bark of a tree whenever he thought he heard something.

He looked around, peeking out from his hiding spot. There wasn't anyone else here. Shoving away the urge to crouch down to the forest floor and calm down, he scanned the area, spotting another spot he could move to.

As long as he was quiet and kept to the dark, he would make it.

Luck was in his favour for the fact that this forest was dense with trees, most of them were high in the sky to block majority of the sunlight that would've lit the area for miles otherwise. There weren't any bushes for any Officials to hide in. Which meant he didn't have a place to hide properly, either.

After Min Seo had spotted one of the Officials roaming around the area they were in, Michael had suggested to keep close together and move to the darkest parts of the forest, areas that had more shadows than light. As far as Ricky knew, they had only spotted one man. But when there was one, there should be others.

After a few times of this running and hiding under the darkest parts of the forest, Michael had an insane idea of breaking them up. Ricky had wanted to protest but when he heard his mother agree, he knew then — they had done this before.

They would know what was the best action.

And that was a reality check for Ricky.

He had no idea how to become a leader.

They did.

Why had Dae Hee chosen him out of all people to lead the Uprising?

The bitter taste of defeat crawled up his throat.

He shook his head out of his thoughts.

Now that everyone was separated from him, heading their own way, following different routes to get to their final base, Ricky was all alone in this mission of survival.

He hoped his mother would get there safely.

Ricky forced himself to concentrate, following the pattern of hiding and running at any chance he got. It was only when the sun started to set had he realised how long he had been stalking through the forest floor. He knew, rationally, he should find a place to stay for the night. He even looked up to the branches of the tree, wondering if he could get away sleeping on it.

He quickly dismissed that idea not wanting to add additional risks to his already fleeting safety.

He decided to keep moving instead.

By the time he couldn't see anything in front of him, he knew he had to give in to his body's need to rest. He looked around the place he was at, listening closely for anything before he deemed that he was probably — hopefully — far enough from that Official.

He made a mental note to make sure he was on the right track to the base come morning.

For now, he sat down on the forest ground, leaning his back against one of the trees. He grabbed the bags that he was carrying, placing them on his lap. He opened the flaps, looking through the items before he found the emergency food stash.

There wasn't much in them. Just a couple of energy bars. And the remaining water in one of the flasks.

The other flask was probably with Min Jae.

Ricky's lips threatened to pull downwards as the image of Dae Hee's son flashed into his mind.

The kid who had too much to say to him the last time they were alone.

He sighed under his breath, not feeling hungry anymore. He grabbed the flask of water instead. He drank a little of it, shoving the item back into the bags and placing them next to him. He made sure his gun was in his hands.

Sleep was the last thing on his mind, worry for his friends and family gnawing at the back of his mind.

He didn't want this to be the last time he saw any of them.

As naive as he felt, he wanted to believe he would see them again when he reached the final base.

Admit it, we're losing. Surrendering would be the best option.

Ricky wished he didn't agree with that.

He wished he didn't.

But he knew where Min Jae was coming from.

After Uncle Neo died, after Olivia had died, it was like all they did was run away. They weren't fighting back. They couldn't afford to.

Where were they headed to?

At this rate, they were going to perish.

And Ricky would be the one to blame.

He would be the one leading them to their deaths because he, himself, didn't know where they were going.

It was a tempting offer — what Min Jae had proposed.

To take everything he cared about and leave, to let this part of his life close so he could start a new one. There were times like now, as he stared at the gun in his hands, that he couldn't help but wonder who he would have become, the life he would have led, if he wasn't part of this one.

He closed his eyes for a second, guilt washing into him.

"Dae Hee believed in something," Ricky whispered to himself. "I can't let him down."

If only Ricky knew what it was that Dae Hee believed in, maybe he would understand what to do to achieve that.

***

On the move while holding the gun close to his chest, Ricky made sure he kept quiet. Once the morning had come, once there was enough light to pave a path, he had left his campsite. The faster he started his journey, the quicker he would be able to get to the final base and see everyone else.

Everything was a little too quiet, his nerves wracking a mess in his mind.

The long, well-established paranoia started to resurface in his head.

Half of him started wondering if he would make it out of this alive.

Killed by the hands of the enemy, or killed by his own jitteriness and anxiety.

He stopped walking, looking to his left and his right, tightening his grip on the weapon in his hands. The only sound that greeted him was the soft breeze brushing through the leaves.

And then — silence.

Taking in a shaky breath in, he forced his muscles to unlock and move.

Each step he took felt like he was getting closer to his death, to his end.

All of his insecurities, his doubt, his confusion came crashing into his head like a tidal wave, one question entering only for another to come rolling in a second later.

It was noisy now, but only in his brain.

It was distracting.

His heart began racing against his chest and his palms felt sweaty.

It was only when he was breathing a bit too loudly for it to not be in his head that he realised he was quickly heading into an anxiety attack. He stopped walking, his ears starting to feel stuffed as he tried to force down the need to sit and close his eyes, to be able to breathe again.

A sharp sound of a twig snapping pierced through his hazy mind.

He snapped his eyes up from the forest floor, looking around wildly as his anxiety took another leap to the next level, this time coupled with the paranoia that he was caught.

He was caught.

He was dead.

Raising the gun, his training of many years when forced into an undesirable situation took over. Eyeing everything within his radius, he sharpened his hearing.

His heart was beating too fast.

He spotted someone from his right peripheral vision causing him to turn his body swiftly, raising the gun without the shakiness of his hands. The tremors that he knew would wrap themselves around his fingers if he had let them.

His eyes widened when he realised who it was coming out of the shadows, hands raised and eyes wide.

"It's just me. Don't shoot."

"Min Jae?" Ricky whispered.

The momentary paranoia vanished, replacing it was disbelief and a sudden surge of wanting to punch him across his face. He frowned, dropping the gun to his sides as he took sharp strides to stand in front of Min Jae. He grabbed his shoulder, shaking him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ricky whispered, voice tensed. "You're not supposed to use this route!"

"I got lost," Min Jae replied, touching Ricky's hand and taking it away from his shoulder. "So, I used another route. Didn't think you were using this route too."

Ricky huffed a breath, staring at the kid before he pressed a hand on his face. He couldn't believe this.

Out of everyone to find him, it had to be Min Jae.

It was only when the taller man touched his hand again, coaxing it away Ricky's face that he realised that he was shaking. Pulling from his touch, embarrassment crawled into his veins as he took a step back, clearing his throat.

"Hey, you okay?" Min Jae asked, taking a step closer to him.

"Fine," Ricky said, ignoring the way his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.

"You're not fine, man," Min Jae said, grabbing his shoulder to force him to look at him. "Your face looks pale and you're shaking."

Ricky shook his head. "We got no time for this. You're not supposed to be here. We're now twice in danger of being tracked down. We have to keep moving."

Min Jae reached once again to grab on his arm, tightening his grasp on Ricky's wrist. "Your pulse is a bit too fast, don't you think?"

"Oh for..." Ricky said, stopping when he took in a deep breath. "I'm having an anxiety attack. It's not that bad. I can focus. It'll subside soon. Let's go."

"Can you breathe?" Min Jae asked, his eyes narrowing.

Ricky gritted his teeth, snatching his hand away from the death grip. "I can. Let's go."

Without waiting for Min Jae's reply, he started walking. He resisted the urge to place a hand on his chest so he could count his beats, to do what he usually did when he had one of his attacks. He was lucky it wasn't an anxiety that could make him completely breathless and dissociated. It was a mild one, one that he brought it on himself from thinking too much.

He would be fine.

Min Jae joined him after a few seconds.

He ignored the looks being tossed at his direction.