2019 November

BTS were worried about their leader; they had been told multiple times by staff at the company that Namjoon would walk out of his studio shaking, and one time Seojin had taken Namjoon's arm and taken him to his office.

Yoongi and Hoseok, being rappers themselves, had found Namjoon in his studio tearstained and eyes red, but they didn't say much knowing what kind of songs he was writing.

One day Yoongi got a call from TXT asking him to go to Namjoon's studio, and when he got there, he found TXT looking at Namjoon, eyes wide, because Yoongi bet they had never seen Namjoon cry before.

He ran up to Namjoon and turned to TXT. "Thank you for calling me boys," he said, and he smiled as they went back to their studio.

Yoongi noticed Namjoon's studio was still slightly open, so he pushed it open and gently edged Namjoon back inside.

Once he got himself inside, he saw Namjoon go and sit down on the studio's sofa.

Yoongi was about to ask what was going on, but Namjoon looked at him, causing Yoongi to feel his heart hurt because Namjoon looked younger and nothing like the leader anyone expected.

He sat down next to Namjoon and said, "What have you been working on?"

Namjoon wiped his face and said, "We are bulletproof, The Eternal."

Yoongi nodded and was glad Namjoon seemed to be calmer, but Namjoon put his head in his hands and started sobbing softly.

"Hey Joon it's okay." said Yoongi, and he ruffled Namjoon's hair.

Yoongi listened to Namjoon tell him about the song, and once Namjoon was finished crying, he made Yoongi laugh by asking Yoongi to leave.

A few days later, Hoseok was walking to his studio when he got called over by a member of staff. "What's wrong?" he asked, and the staff member explained that Namjoon had locked himself in one of the toilets.

Hoseok sighed because he knew what that meant, but he thanked the staff member for letting him know and headed towards the toilets.

When he got there, he knew where Namjoon was because it was the only cubicle with the door locked.

"Joonie, let me in," he asked softly, and he heard a click, and the door opened.

Hoseok went in and closed the door, and when he turned to Namjoon, he saw he was shaking.

"Hey Joonie, what's wrong?" He asked and tried to comfort Namjoon from whatever it was.

Namjoon tried to speak, but Hoseok held his hand and stopped him. "Hey Joonie, breathe for me before you speak," he said, wiping Namjoon's face.

Namjoon took some deep breaths and said, "Just been working on the song from the other day, Hobi." Hoseok playfully slapped him on the arm.

"Well, next time, can you stay in the studio while you calm down? You almost caused me and a staff member a heart attack," he said with a smile.

Namjoon laughed, "Your so dramatic anyway. Thanks for your help, but I would like to go and wash my face then get back to the studio." He said, and Hoseok laughed.

Once Namjoon had headed to his studio, Hoseok went to his and called Jin, "Hey, Hyung Namjoon could do with his comfort food tonight." He said, and once Jin agreed, he smiled and hung up.

About 3 days later, Jin had gotten back from the studio early, and after getting a shower, he was going to start cooking, but he heard a noise.

He did a double take because he wasn't expecting anyone else to be back. He listened closely for a minute and realised it was someone crying.

He listened even more closely, but once he realised who it was, it filled him with both worry and amusement.

He sighed and went straight to Taehyung and Namjoon's bedroom, and like he was through, Namjoon was sitting at his desk, head resting on his arms, and the only signs of him crying were the heavy breathing and slight shake of his shoulders.

Jin went towards him, and so not to scare him, he said, "Joonie," softly.

Namjoon looked and gave a small smile when he saw Jin. "Hyung your back early," he said.

"Is what you writing to make you like this?" asked Jin, and Namjoon passed him the diary.

Jin read it over, and he sighed and hugged Namjoon. "Oh, Joonie, I wish I could share your thoughts," he said, causing Namjoon to snort.

"I promise Hyung you don't want to know what goes on in here," he said and pointed to his head.

"Your probaby right, so how about you don't write any more of that song tonight and I'll do us, paldo o Bibmyeon?" said Jin, and Namjoon smiled.

"Okay, Hyung," he said and went to wash his face.

Jin smiled well; he is not going to write songs here anymore. He said to himself, then laughed when he heard Namjoon curse after he knocked something in the bathroom over.

"F***!" he heard Namjoon shout.

"Hey Joon, no swearing!" Jin said, "Sorry Hyung." was the reply, but two seconds later Namjoon cursed again.

Jin went to the kitchen, trying not to laugh.

When he got there, he had to stop what he was doing because he was laughing so much.

He knew if the members got in he would look crazy, but that didn't matter.

A few days later, Namjoon had finished writing We Are Bulletproof The Eternal, but the low moods and crying didn't stop because he had moved on to another song, which all the guys agreed was either more depressing or.

Jimin knew how much his Hyung was stressed and overworked himself, so one day he went to Namjoon's studio and pressed the buzzer; there was no answer.

Jimin knocked, "Hyung, are you there?" He asked, and he put his ear to the door. The sound of his Hyung crying hit his ear.

He tried a code and laughed when it was his Hyung's date of birth.

He went inside the studio and shut the door behind him.

When he saw Hyung, his heart broke.

Namjoon was sitting near his computer body shaking, so Jimin went up to him and tapped him on the the shoulder. Namjoon turned around and saw min. He stood up and hugged him.

Jimin was taken aback, but he put his hand on the back of Namjoon and the other hand on the back of his head.

"It's okay, Hyung," he said and stroked his fingers through his hair.

"It hurts Jimin," said Namjoon, and he wimped.

Jimin sighed and said, "I know Hyung, but your doing so well. I know it hurts, but remember, in the end, it will be worth it because the Army will love it."

Namjoon nodded his head against Jimin's chest, and Jimin laughed when Namjoon used the front of his top to wipe his eyes.

"Yeah, you do that; use me as your handkerchief," he teased, causing Namjoon to blush.

"Jimin, stop it," he said, and Jimin laughed and hugged him again. "I'm sorry, your just too cute sometimes, Hyung," he said.

"Jiminie, I love you." said Namjoon, and Jimin laughed harder, "I love you two, Hyung." he said

Over the next week, no one saw Namjoon crying, so one night Taehyung woke up and went to the bathroom. He was shocked when he got back to his room and found Namjoon sat up in bed sobbing.

He turned the lamp on and sat on the bed.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" He asked, and he got hold of Namjoon's hand.

Namjoon was rambling, and Taehyung only managed to understand a few sentences.

"What will happen when the music plays, and if my heart doesn't feel anymore, will it feel like my first death?" said Namjoon through his sobs.

Taehyung felt his eyes fill with tears, but he pushed them away because he had to comfort Hyung.

He sighed and turned the lamp off.

He gently put his arms around Namjoon and laid them both down.

He started to hum the Friends theme tune in the style of a luaby.

After a few minutes, he heard his Hyung soft snores.

He smiled and said, "Goodnight, Hyung, I love you."

He didn't move from his position and had to explain everything to Jin the next morning.

Jungkook hated any of his Hyungs sad or crying, but when it was Namjoon that was worst.

He knew he was the most emotional member of the group, but he wished he was known for more than being the golden Maknae and the member who cries every time his Hyungs cry.

It was close, but not every time.

This specific day was an example. It was the end of November, and he heard from his Hyungs Namjoon was having a hard time writing his songs.

On this day, Jungkook had gone to his Hyung's studio.

He knew the code because Jimin told him, and he let himself in.

He walked inside, and from what his Hyungs told him, he wasn't surprised to see Namjoon sitting at his desk in tears.

He sat down and asked Namjoon what he was working on.

"Still working on Black Swan," said Namjoon, and he wiped his eyes.

"Mmm, can you show me Hyung?" asked Jungkook, and he smiled when Namjoon started smiling while explaining what he was doing.

After a while, Jungkook noticed Namjoon wasn't crying anymore, and by the look on his face, he forgot he was either crying. He texted Jin to say what had happened but to keep dinner casual so Namjoon didn't get upset by remembering what he was crying about.

If Namjoon brought it up, that was different, but no one would say anything otherwise.

This lasted for a few more months, but usually Namjoon stayed in his studio and wouldn't come out or let the guys in while he was crying; they knew why he did this.

Namjoon might be emotionally intelligent and know how to handle his feelings, but they knew getting caught crying was a bit embarrassing for him. That's why they never pay too much attention to it.

So at the end of January, before their album came out, they got a surprise when their leader came home holding a diary in tears.

Namjoon walked into the dorm shaking and continuously wiping at his face.

"Guys," he said, and all the members turned, and their hearts broke when they saw their leader, who was shaking from what they could tell from both cold and crying.

Yoongi and Hoseok went up to Namjoon and held a hand each and got the members to fetch them blankets and a washcloth.

When they got Namjoon sat down, all the members had returned with the blankets and washcloths.

Yoongi tried to get Namjoon's diary, but Namjoon was hugging it.

"Hey Joonie, what did you write to today?" He asked softly and tried to comfort Namjoon.

"I finished louder than Bombs Hyung," said Namjoon, his voice thick with his tears.

"Can I have a look?" asked Yoongi, and Namjoon handed him the diary.

Yoongi read over it, and his eyes wided. "Gosh, Joon, I'll be crying two if I write this." He said, and he smiled, hoping Namjoon would laugh, but he was still crying.

Jin leaned over and asked Yoongi to give him the diary.

Yoongi gave it to Jin, and Jin suddenly said, "Oh, Joon, this diary and your brain are so bad for making you cry, right guys?" he said, and he winked.

"Oh yes, Hyung Namjoon's diary is so bad," said Hoseok, and he got the diary and pretended to beat it up.

Jungkook went next to Namjoon and rubbed the side of his head. "Hey Namjoon Hyung brain, can you give Hyung a break, please?"

Namjoon was slightly amused and gave a smile, but the members stopped, so he made a sad expression and said, "Again," and he let the tears he had been holding back while he was watching them go down his cheeks.

Yoongi chuckled and went to the diary of Hoseok. "Bad diary," he said, and he pretended to drop it and stand on it.

Jimin and Taehyung went to Namjoon and, like Jungkook, told his brain off.

"Hey, Namjoonie Hyung brain, can you be nice to Namjoon Hyung, please?" Taehyung asked

"Yeah, please, we don't like seeing Namjoon Hyung cry," said Jimin, and he kissed Namjoon's side head.

Namjoon was so amused by what they were doing that he put his head back and let out a hyena laugh.

This sound caused the guys to stop and smile.

Yoongi got in front of Namjoon and said, "You feeling better, Joon?" and he passed Namjoon the washcloth.

Namjoon nodded while he wiped his face, and his dimples came out. "Yeah, thank you guys. I never knew that sort of thing would make me feel better." he said

Hoseok poked a dimple and said, "Your welcome, Joonie; we had to do something."

Jin smiled and poked his other dimple. "Yeah, we don't like seeing Joonie sad," he said.

Namjoon grimanced and chuckled. "Actually, as much as I thank you for telling my diary and brain off, I actually made myself write the whole song just so I could cry," he said.

All the members looked at each other then looked at Namjoon.

Most of them were confused, but then Yoongi started laughing. "Oh my gosh, Joon, you had us so worried, and now you say that," he said, and to the others, amusement fell on the settee.

"Yeah, I was going to wait till I finished crying, but I wanted to see how you guys would comfort me as a group," he said.

"Oh Joonie, only you would make yourself cry as a plan," laughed Jin, and he ruffled Namjoon's hair.

"Hey guys, I am feeling better now, but could you do me a favour?" asked Namjoon, and the guys nodded.

"Can you baby me tonight? I won't complain." He asked, and all the members laughed at his cuteness.

Yoongi grabbed Namjoon's dimpe and said in a cute voice, "Of course, Joonie, you might be our leader, but in the dorm, your our baby. Remember that.

Namjoon nodded and said, "I love you." in his high, cute voice.

All the members hugged him and said, "Love you two."

That evening all the members babied Namjoon, and when Namjoon went to bed early because he was exhausted, the guys went to look at him and found him adobable when he was asleep.

Yoongi turned and whispered, "Once the album is out, we need to keep him happy because there's nothing more important than his happiness."

All the members agreed and watched Namjoon sleep for a minute.

The End.