It's been days since the incident with Jihoon happened, technically the both of us become more awkward, we're not able to talk or start a conversation like a greeting each other's good morning, goodnight... Etc. I admit that it's partly my fault from the start, I kinda can't suppress my feelings for him and it finally come to this.

I woke up before even my alarm clock rings, just scrolling through my social media accounts and gets bored easily, now that I think about it's already Saturday, then that means, I have a date with Ae bong. I scratch the nape of my neck just to release some shit stress feelings even just a little.

I know for sure that this is going to be a very long day for me, when starvation suddenly hits me, I made myself go out of my room and go forward to the kitchen to hunt down for some food, and I succeed looking for it.

I laid down to the couch and turn on the t.v to look for something to watch in Netflix, I saw stranger things and I immediately clicked the play button, I'm a fan of this show.(uhm me?)

"Guanlin, we have to talk." I heard my mom's strict voice behind me but I didn't look at her and just continuing with what I am doing.

She walked in front of me blocking the t.v, she spread his arms to me giving me a sign that I should give her the remote, which I obediently obeyed, she turned off the t.v then sits beside me.

"What is it mom?"

"I noticed this days that you and Jihoon weren't talking, is there something wrong? Do the two of you have a fight?" She asked me with her concern eyes, my mom knows everything about me, everything.

"No mom, it's not his fault." I barely answer her, while I ate a mouthful of bread that I've gotten.

"You should clarify this Lai Guanlin, you know Jihoon is such a fragile child."

"You see mom, I'm gonna date someone today her name is Ae bong. It's better if we don't talk about Jihoon, okay? I'll going to fix this after this day is over." I explained to my mom not giving what she wanted.

"I thought you've like Jihoon? We've talked about this Guanlin, You don't look sincere about this Ae bong and she sounds like a dangerous one" see she knows everything.

"Mom, it's not like I'm not able to date someone, I have the right to choose who is the one I like and who I date with, this is nothing to do with you." I raised my voice a little that made my mom snapped, she stands up and slapped me in the face.

The slap was so strong that I react to exaggerated, I look to my mom with wearing an expression saying why, but she just gave me a feedback with her glare.

"I didn't raised you like this! You better fix this immediately, got it?! and no allowance for next month if you failed."

"W-what?! Mom!" I called her multiple times but she just ignored me, I leave the bread on the table in front of me and stormed out of the place, I stopped when Jihoon was there in the pathway while his hands were gripped together, I looked at him but he just flinched at me.

"G-Guan-" he can't finish his sentence because I already slam the door of my room, I don't care anymore, I'm just going to focus on the date I'm going today.

No more Jihoon starting today.

--

I heard Mrs.Lai and Guanlin arguing about something, but I didn't know what is it all about, I saw Guanlin looking irritated with the argument and he saw me, I want to comfort him just like what we have done to each other until now.

"G-Guan-" I tried to call out to him yet he just ignored me and locked himself in his room.

The house become quite as when I was always alone, my life didn't really become so different when my parents died, it was always like this, everyone showing their kindness to me or even do all the things they want just to satisfy, but I never really felt if those intentions were true, for me it's like they're pitying me because of my situation, I want to vomit, I become nauseous and I don't know what should I do.

But Guanlin was different, he was the first person who've looked at me straitly in the eyes, caress me, takes care of me without being pitiful, I felt complete when I'm with him, yet this days.. It became awkward for the both of us, I don't know why but it just keeps happening, and I think it's my fault. I'm starting to hurt Guanlin, maybe even the safest place I've found is going to be off limits now.

Walking to the living room and saw Mrs.Lai cooking for some breakfast, I approach her and she quickly noticed me.

"Good Morning Jihoon." She smiled at me like her argument with Guanlin didn't happen. I sat at one of the chairs to face Mrs.Lai.

"Good Morning Mrs.Lai." I greeted her back.

"Oh come one, you can call me mom, didn't I tell you that?" I nodded to her awkwardly, then again she showed her smile at me.

"Jihoon, Guanlin isn't doing great this pass days, do you notice that?" She opened a topic to me while she's cooking. Mrs.Lai's intuition is very on the point to be honest.

"Y-Yes."

"Do you know why?"

When Mrs.Lai asked me her question, I looked down and gripped my hands because I know the answer but if I answer her honestly then will she raised her voice in me too? What if she did? No, she's a very kind person, she even worries about Guanlin after she had a fight with Him.

Finding my answer silently, I came to only one solution... To runaway.

"Mrs.Lai, I think I'm going to have breakfast outside, I'm better off, goodbye." I bid farewell to her before she can even call me I run rapidly to get out of the house.

I met the sun rising in front of me, it was a breathtaking sight, the vivd colors mixing together so well and how the sun is a perfect fit with it, I wish I can see this with Guanlin.

"Guanlin?" I asked myself silently...

Oh no what is this.

I placed my hand in my chest, suddenly my surroundings was utterly quite, I can't hear anything nor the breeze of the wind, I can't feel it, the only thing I can hear is the sound of my heart thumping so fast while it aches so much.

Why? I only just remembered Guanlin, why am I reacting like this? It's not like I'm new with this feeling in fact it's always been like this.

Right from the start when I met Guanlin.