Baekhyun snuck into Chanyeol's room one night at exactly 11:43.

Chanyeol's back was turned towards the door, so Baekhyun thought that he might be sleeping.

Still unsure, he walked to the window to check.

He first saw the swollen, closed eyes, then the streaming tears, and then the hand covering half of his face as he breathed deeply, in and out.

"Chanyeol?"

His eyes fluttered open, and Baekhyun saw how red they were.

That was when it hit him: Chanyeol was crying.

Maybe he was stupid to not notice before, but he hadn't expected something like that from Chanyeol. He had been so open, so he assumed that he might be open with his emotions too. He hadn't expected to walk into Chanyeol's room at night to find him sobbing into a pillow.

Chanyeol sat up as Baekhyun sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong?"

Chanyeol hesitated, "Everything. Fucking everything. I'm depressed, remember?"

"Are you okay?"

"Do you want the truth or the lie?"

"Truth. Absolute truth."

"Then I'm horrible. It's especially bad at night because the darkness leaves a blank canvas for what to think about before drifting off into sleep. And when I see darkness, I see sadness. It's just a general connection, like how light makes me happy. So when I think of sadness, it's all downhill from there. I fall, and I fall, and I keep falling. But that falling represents life and when I land and there's nothing to worry about anymore, that's death. And you know what it's like to think like that. It makes me wonder when I ended up like this, when I got so fucked up, and then..."

"It's okay," Baekhyun whispered, "I'm here, think of something else."

Chanyeol had always seemed in better condition than Baekhyun had ever been, but everything important about him had been hidden behind a small smile. Baekhyun had wondered why Chanyeol had come to the center when he seemed so fine, so happy, but now he understood.

"I'm so fucked up," Chanyeol whispered, "I'm so lost. I don't know where to go because I can't see the path in front of me. Is that... bad?"

"You just need to wait," Baekhyun whispered, "It's... you just need to wait."

They sat like that for a while, with one of Baekhyun's arms wrapped around Chanyeol's shoulders and Chanyeol's head resting on Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun felt the tears seep into his shirt, and it was heart wrenching because Chanyeol's tears didn't stop.

It was like it all exploded at once.

But Baekhyun worried that Chanyeol had done this one too many times before, that maybe he did this every night when everyone else was gone and asleep.

Before he knew it, Chanyeol's head was resting on his shoulder heavily because Chanyeol was asleep.

Baekhyun laid Chanyeol down on the bed, covering him with blankets. He looked so much more peaceful asleep, and Baekhyun wondered if it was the same for him.
-----
They met in the morning and pretended nothing had happened the night before.

Chanyeol smiled as soon as he saw Baekhyun in the canteen, as Baekhyun looked back blankly.

It was normal, and Chanyeol didn't mind. He knew what Baekhyun was going through, and he didn't want to make it any harder.

So Baekhyun followed a nurse to a table, and the nurse smiled at him. "What do you want to try first?"

Baekhyun stayed silent. He could feel how hungry he was, but he really didn't have an appetite.

"I'm not hungry."

"Of course you aren't," the nurse smiled again, "But you need to eat. Don't you want to get better?"

It was such an obvious question, "I'm not hungry," Baekhyun repeated, "I'll eat later."

"Later today?" The nurse persisted, "Or later tomorrow?" She paused, "Just a few bites, that's all."

Baekhyun looked back up at the nurse. She seemed to read his mind, by later he had meant sometime in a day or two. But then again, maybe it was obvious to everyone at this point. Baekhyun looked back down at the plate and picked up the spoon.

He could almost feel Chanyeol's gaze from the other side of the canteen.
-----
He felt sick later that day, but he was able to keep from throwing anything up.

Part of it was the worry that he would never leave the place, and part of it was the fact that he was with Chanyeol for the rest of the day.

They walked around the center, looking through all of the recreational rooms until they came across a small one, which was definitely different from the rest. The other rooms had had a tennis court, or a ping pong table, or a little gym. But this one happened to have an upright piano and some guitars with mics.

Chanyeol had almost jumped into the room, pushing open the door in a flash.

He sat down at the piano and turned to see Baekhyun still at the door.

"Aren't you coming in?"

Baekhyun didn't move, "What if people hear us through the door?"

"Who cares? No one comes down here anyways."

Baekhyun hesitated before reluctantly stepping into the room and sitting down next to Chanyeol.

He turned to look up at him, "I only know a few chords."

"I only know a few songs."

Baekhyun got up, "Play one, I want to hear."

Chanyeol shook his head, "I forgot all of the songs I used to know. I kind of lost interest in the piano when I ended up here. So the keyboard in my room's just sitting in the corner gathering dust."

"There's a guitar over there," Baekhyun picked one up and sat down on a couch, "I'll sing, as long as you play."

Chanyeol smiled and sat down next to Baekhyun, putting the guitar in his lap and wrapping his arm around it.

He started strumming the chords to "Creep" and Baekhyun caught on soon enough.

They didn't realize that it had been hours since they found the room until a doctor came and found them.

Baekhyun turned around and memorized the room number before following the doctor back up the stairs.

B103-R ||