>>> Final Chapter <<<

A year went by with anyone barely noticing. With his full focus on studies, as well as extracurricular activities that he needed to be involved in to increase his chances of getting into Peking, Weizhou barely even had time for his music and friends.

Weizhou hardly left his room during the period of final exams. He knew he may have lost things because they were simply beyond his control. He had placed his heart in someone else's hands, only to have it be torn to pieces. And hence he was in no way going to not give his 100% to this one thing he actually had control over. He was already envisioning his future at Peking, one thing which was still within his grasp. Fuck love.

Each time his parents and friends questioned how the exam was, he'd give the same response. 'It was alright."

"Aunty, when he says 'alright' what he means is 'I nailed it!' so you can be rest assured that he's getting his ass into Peking!" Wang commented one evening.

Mrs.Xu giggled. "What about you?"

"Meh.., not my cup of tea. I have bigger aspirations.." Wang brushed it off.

Weizhou scowled. "Such as?"

"Come on man, haven't I already told you?"

Mrs.Xu turned to Weizhou expecting an answer.

"He's gonna apply to every college and if he gets selected to more than one, he's gonna pick one at random."

"Oh..that's...um..something." Mrs.Xu replied.

Weizhou playfully nudged his friend and led him outside.

******

As expected, Weizhou passed with high grades. Owing to Weizhou's positive influence, Wang was close behind.

Weizhou's parents secretly arranged to throw a party for their son and his friends on the day of their graduation.

A couple of days before the big day, Weizhou was in his room trying on his graduation attire. It took a while before he noticed that his mother was watching him while leaning against the doorframe.

"Hey mom.., didn't see you there." He smiled.

To his surprise, she didn't return the smile. Instead she pursed her lips as if she was holding back some emotions.

Weizhou paused his task. "Mom...is everything okay?" He slowly approached her.

She sniffed. "Yeah.." She managed a barely visible smile. "You made it.." She paused to wipe a tear,. "I mean...despite everything that happened last year.., you..you" her lips trembled.

"Mom.." Weizhou spoke emotionally and wrapped her in his embrace.

"I felt so ..helpless.. You were so broken. You have no idea how hard it was to see my baby so heartbroken. I even decided that I didn't care whether you got into Peking or not, as long as you're happy again."

Weizhou laughed through tears. "I'm happy mom. I'm sorry you had to see me like that, but I'm content now." He drew back to look at her.

She beamed despite her glossy eyes."You know.., you'll find love again.  The best kind. The kind that'll be a supplement to your life.., as it should be."

Weizhou breathed in sharply as she spoke.

"...Nobody deserves it more." She added.

_______________________

The day of the graduation finally arrived. Weizhou, Wang and Kim sat among the dozens of other students as staff members were doing their customary speeches. As soon as they sat down together, something hit them like a ton of bricks. The fact that Liang was not among them., to graduate together. A gloominess took over their mood momentarily. That was until, their phones buzzed. All at once.

"Hey monkeys! I made it!" Read the message from Liang.

The three of them shared a look of excitement before hurriedly scanning the crowd.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was at a funeral. You dimwits missed me that much?" Came another message.

Their search ended when Wang's eyes caught a glimpse of Liang seated way back. Their faces lit up. Liang waved eagerly. They waved back ignoring the frowns and stares of other students.

When each of the three boys were on stage, Liang made it a point to stand up and clap. When it was Weizhou's turn, he first noticed his parents cheering blissfully, then Wang and Kim whistling and making fools of themselves as expected, and finally his eyes caught the sight of Liang clapping and smiling warmly.

That fleeting second felt bittersweet to him.

********

"Didn't you say that you won't be able to make it ha?" Wang lightly punched Liang after the ceremony had ended and they met up.

"Of course I did! How else could I have surprised you?" Liang punched him back playfully.

The three chatted for a while before Liang suddenly remembered. "Hey let's go to Weizhou's place. I wanna see aunty and uncle."

Mrs.Xu had entrusted Liang with the task of bringing them to the surprise party on time.

Weizhou's parents had informed Liang to invite a few of their other friends as well. Funnily enough, when the four boys got there, the others had already arrived.

However Mrs.Xu had underestimated how much and how fast boys this age could eat. They were out of snacks and drinks in no time.

Weizhou volunteered to hit the store. Wang and Liang got up to join him.

"No no! You two sit back down, I'm the host,... well technically my parents, but I got this!" Weizhou ordered.

The two obeyed without arguing.

Weizhou hurriedly arrived at Chang's store and made his way inside. His aim was to pick out the items as quickly as he could and get back before his friends could wreak havoc in his room. In his peripheral view he noticed someone near the cash register, speaking to Chang. However what got his attention was the voice he heard a second later.

"What's wrong?" Said the voice.

It was a voice he could recognize anywhere at any given time. His feet involuntarily took a couple of steps back and his head turned to the left.

Their eyes met.

Time stood still.

JingYu had only partially turned back to see what made his uncle freeze. But upon seeing that pair of eyes that had long held his soul captive he turned fully, with utter nervousness threatening to overwhelm him.

It was Chang that had informed JingYu in advance that Weizhou would be graduating on this particular day. Since that moment, JingYu had been wrestling with the idea of attending the ceremony secretly but had come to the conclusion that he did not deserve to be there and witness Weizhou's happiness.

And yet he could not help returning to Beijing that day.

Just for a day.

However he was determined not to purposely cross Weizhou's path. Yet here he was, feeling paralyzed under Weizhou's piercing gaze which spoke volumes of the damage he had caused. Although it had been more than a year, it felt like it was only yesterday that he had Weizhou in his embrace who'd whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

Weizhou clenched his jaw in an attempt to contain the sharp pain that shot through his heart. Having forgotten his purpose behind visiting the store in the first place, Weizhou forced himself to look away and stormed out of the store.

JingYu remained rooted to the spot, unable to evaluate his thoughts.

"Why the hell are you still standing there? Go talk to him!" His uncle's voice exclaimed, knocking some sense into JingYu's head.

*******

Weizhou kept walking as fast as his feet could, without looking back. Three words kept repeating in his head. How dare he?

"Weizhou!" He heard in the distance, behind him. It was strange hearing JingYu say that name instead of the nickname. But then again, it would have been even more awkward if he did use the nickname under the current circumstances.

Weizhou did stop in his track and turn around.

Weizhou's eyes landed on everything but JingYu even as he waited for him to catch up. He unconsciously folded his arms and focused on the ground.

JingYu was almost panting by the time he reached Weizhou.  "How'd you learn to walk that fast?"

Weizhou finally looked up with a trace of disbelief in his eyes before quickly looking away again. "How anti-climatic.." He muttered.

JingYu raised his eyebrows at that, and yet he could not think straight with Weizhou standing in front of him looking even more gorgeous than he remembered. He was prepared to bite down and accept any snarky remark that Weizhou was going to throw at him. 

"How ironic though. Aren't you like an expert at walking away?" Weizhou added.

JingYu's steady meaningful gaze on Weizhou wavered for a second.

"Yep.. I deserve that." JingYu admitted.

Weizhou rolled his eyes. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to get back to." He took a step back.

"ZhouZhou.." JingYu uttered barely above a whisper.

Weizhou gritted his teeth. This time he looked at JingYu strictly in the eye.

"Don't you dare."

JingYu's lips parted slightly but no word came out.

Weizhou could not help noticing the aura of ruggedness that JingYu exuded. The hint of child-like innocence and charm he possessed seemed to have been replaced by a noticeable level of masculinity. Weizhou found himself wondering how a time period of less than two years could cause such a drastic change.

However there was one thing that didn't seem to have changed: the way his eyes took in Weizhou. 

Without waiting a second more, Weizhou walked away. Even then he could feel JingYu's eyes on his back

*********

Weizhou's friends who were awaiting his return were puzzled to see him enter the house and walk past them empty handed. Owing to his ability to sense when something was off with his friend, Wang immediately figured that something was amiss.

As expected, Weizhou was in his room, seated on the bed with his head down.

Wang slowly approached him. "Hey is everything okay?"

For some reason, Wang seemed more nervous than confused.

"He's back.." . Weizhou still did not look up at him.

"..uh...who?"

"JingYu.."  Weizhou's eyes finally landed on Wang.

"You're kidding..."

Weizhou scoffed bitterly. "Is that the kind of thing I'd joke about?"

Wang quickly sat down next to him on the bed. "Was he at uncle Chang's store?"

"Yes."

Wang abruptly got up and started moving.

"Where are you going?" Weizhou questioned in confusion.

"To find him."

"For what?"

"To beat the shit out of him!"

Weizhou sighed. "Wang..."

"He has the audacity show up again like that?! What does he want?"

"I don't know.."

"What did he say to you? Is he back for good?"

Weizhou was truly touched by Wang's reaction, but some other emotion that he could not name overshadowed every other feeling. 

"I didn't stick around for him to actually say much. And I've no idea if he's back for good or not. It didn't seem so." Weizhou began examining his own hands.

"Zhou.." Wang said softly this time. "Talk to me..".  He returned to his spot next to Weizhou.

Weizhou inhaled sharply. "He looks...different.."

Wang waited for him to continue.

"Anyways...why are we even talking about him? Let's just get back to the party." Weizhou made a move to stand up only to be dragged back to sit by Wang.

"Dude..come on."

The two boys were startled by a knock on the door.

"Are you two having a private party here ?" Mrs.Xu asked with a hint of a smile.

"Um.." Weizhou struggled.

"And where are the snacks??"

"We ate 'em!" Wang responded.

Mrs.Xu narrowed her eyes.

"But I was just about to go and bring some more!" Wang added with a cheeky smile and stood up.

The lady's frown remained.

"Come on, you get back out there." Wang urged Weizhou.

Weizhou nodded and followed Wang into the living room, dodging further questions his mother may have had.

"We're not done talking by the way." Wang uttered as they walked together.

"Wait where you going?" Weizhou stopped Wang as he was about to head out.

"To buy snacks.. what else?"

"Oh.." Weizhou retracted his hand.

"But.. you never know. I might be able to kill two birds with one stone." Wang shot Weizhou a look.

"Hey!" Weizhou said sternly. "If you bump into him just ignore. Nothing else. Got it?"

"Okay...but I can't promise anything." Wang winked as he left.

Liang and the rest of his friends still were still watching him in confusion.

"Where'd he go?"  Kim inquired.

Weizhou groaned internally, taking a moment to craft a lie in his head.

*******

Weizhou's friends watched in awe as most of the beer was being consumed by hm. He had already finished three cans by the time Wang returned.

As soon as the boys saw the snacks in Wang's hands, their full attention diverted to that, allowing Weizhou to subtly sneak into his room again, closely followed by Wang.

"So..?"  Weizhou fixed Wang with an expectant look.

"So what? Didn't you tell me to ignore if I ran into him?"

"So did you?"

"No... Hopefully he's gone." He carefully studied Weizhou's face during the last part of his response.

With his hands in his pockets, Weizhou slowly nodded. "Yeah".

Despite the smile, Wang managed to identify the trace of contrasting emotions in his eyes.

Wang sighed. "Come on man.., why are you disappointed?"

Weizhou feigned confusion. "I'm not."

"You don't have to pretend around me.."..

Weizhou looked away for a moment, before looking back at him. "Why'd he have to come back? And today of all days?! It can't be a coincidence right?"

"It is not a coincidence." Wang said dryly.

"Well it doesn't matter now anyway. He already left. Let's get back out there" As he turned to move Weizhou tripped and almost fell unless Wang hadn't steadied him in time.

"Hey hey, be careful."

"I'm okay."

Wang watched him suspiciously. "How much did you drink? And didn't we plan to do it somewhere else? How'd you manage to do it without aunty noticing?"

Suddenly Weizhou's eyes widened upon being reminded of something. "The empty cans!"

Given that he rarely drank, Weizhou's alcohol tolerance level was relatively low. Wang manhandled him to sit down on the bed. "You stay here and rest a bit. I'll take care of the cans."

Feeling slightly light-headed, Weizhou comfortably settled on the bed.

By the time Wang returned, Weizhou was already in a deep slumber.

"What's going on?" Asked a voice behind Wang. There stood Liang by the door frame. 

"Nah..it's nothing. He's just had too much to drink."

"Huh I knew this would happen, he didn't listen to me." Liang remarked.

"Hmm..." Wang acknowledged. "Do you have to leave now?"

"Yeah..that's why I came to check what you guys were up to.. I have to leave in a bit."

"Ok then, you talk to him. I'll catch you outside." Wang said.

Liang nodded with a smile.

Looking at Weizhou's angelic sleeping face, he didn't have the heart to wake him up. Hence he simply got up and left after a moment.

*******

When Weizhou woke up hours later, all his friends had left to go to the annual carnival held in the town. He recalled that afternoon's events as most of it felt like a dream. Then he saw some texts from Wang, asking him to call him as soon as he woke up or find him at the carnival.

It was past 6.30 PM. After much contemplation Weizhou decided to go to the carnival. After all, in merely a couple of months, he'd be gone for college and be separated from his best friends.

However once he arrived at the location, Weizhou couldn't decide whether he wanted to walk in or just leave. Upon remembering that his friends were already there, he took in a deep breath and walked in.

The festive atmosphere, with all the bright lights, distant laughter and aroma of street food enhanced Weizhou's mood as he made his way in search of his friends. It would have been easier if he had simply texted asking where they were exactly, but he opted to take his time while absorbing everything that unfolded around him.  Merely five minutes had passed when he got this strange feeling that he was either being watched or followed.

He stopped abruptly and turned around.

"Liang?"  Weizhou muttered upon seeing who was not far behind him.

"Hey.." Liang smiled. "I didn't get to talk to you before leaving. You were kinda...out of it."

Weizhou returned the smile. "Yeah...um..sorry about that."

"Ah no need to apologize. I mean, I got to stay for the carnival after all. Brought back a lot of memories..." . They had been visiting the annual fiesta every year just like every other townie.

"Yeah. The silver lining." Weizhou giggled but his smile soon faded as his eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar figure approaching them.

Weizhou quickly averted his gaze as his jaws started clenching.

JingYu stopped right next to Liang.

"What do you want?" Weizhou's voice was lower than it had ever been.

"Just a moment with you." JingYu answered trying his best to not let his voice waver.

Liang took in the vibe between the two of them. "Well it's my cue I guess.." he said to Weizhou before taking a few steps back.

"No Li don't go." Weizhou said firmly.  "A moment for what?" He then asked JingYu with a bone chilling bitterness. "I have nothing to say to you."

Even Liang felt uneasy seeing JingYu at a loss for words.

"Zhou, I'll see you a bit later okay. I'm not leaving just yet." He pursed his lips before slowly walking away.

The uncomfortable silence between Weizhou and JingYu ensued.

Weizhou scoffed, "I have a life to get back to. Goodbye."  He turned to leave only to have his wrist be roughly grabbed by JingYu and making him turn around.

Weizhou aggressively drew his hand back as his fury reached a maximum.

" You know...I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would JingYu say to me if I ever saw him again- I mean he just took off, no note, no call, nothing. How could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word. Nothing. So he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines and I must say that I'm actually very curious to see which way this is gonna go!"  He finally stopped to breathe.

JingYu swallowed hard. " Can we go somewhere and sit down..". His words were barely audible.

"No!! You wanted to talk so talk! What do you have to say to me?!"

Both of them could hear JingYu's sharp intake of breath before he spoke.

"I love you."

Weizhou found it impossible to tear his gaze away from JingYu whose eyes were expectant despite his anxiety.

But no words came out of Weizhou's mouth. Months ago, it would have taken only seconds for him to respond to such declaration from JingYu.

Words.., how little they mean when you're a little too late.

JingYu looked down at his feet in defeat.., before nodding in acceptance of Weizhou's non-verbal rejection. "I...also wanted to ask you to come away with me.., and to tell you that I know you couldn't count on me before...but you can now.., cause I finally got my shit together and... we could get a place near Peking and live together and start anew..." He couldn't help being hopeful again as he looked back up at Weizhou, only to have it be crushed by the look of indifference on Weizhou's face.

Weizhou's emotionless eyes avoided JingYu's.

"ZhouZhou... I've missed you every single day for the entirety of the last fucking year."

A chilly breeze swept past them as Weizhou folded his arms before his eyes finally met JingYu's again. His gaze was still blank. He remained unmoved by the words he was hearing.

"..say something.." JingYu pleaded.

Weizhou shrugged. "All I expected was a proper goodbye. Not any of that."

JingYu was rendered speechless.

"You should leave." Weizhou added. He successfully managed to conceal the fact that saying those words wrecked him internally.

JingYu exhaled. "You really want me to leave?"  he asked softly.

"Yes."

"Don't say yes just cause you're angry, say yes if you really don't wanna be with me."

"Yes!"  There wasn't even a second's hesitation.

JingYu searched his eyes for confirmation. Yet again he nodded as if to indicate that he got his answer.

Weizhou's eyes watered as he watched JingYu walk away and disappear into the crowd near the entrance.

  ' Loving you was young, and wild, and free
    Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet'

It was one of those moments where everything happened in slow motion.

  'Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound
   A steady place to let down my defenses...'

Broken hearts cannot be mended overnight. Words cannot rebuild a trust and faith that was stomped on.

'....But loving you had consequences ...'