🌹Rosalie🌹

"That's it. Try to apply a little more gas," Nolan says beside me as we continue across the empty parking lot.

We kissed last night. He told me he wanted me in ways that were so incredibly wrong and I fell hopelessly into his arms. Because the truth is, I want him too. He makes me feel things I've never felt before, things that scare me yet make me feel so incredibly alive. I'm not exactly sure what comes next for us, but the fact he kissed me against the kitchen counter this morning, that he held my hand while driving to this open parking lot to teach me how to drive, and the fact he's sitting up in his seat, pointing out every tiny detail to support me right now feels perfect.

"You're going to have to turn up here," he lets me know. "Just ease into it, let off the gas a bit. That's it. Slowly turn the wheel, and accelerate out of the turn."

"This really isn't that bad," I say, pulling out of the turn and continuing straight toward the other end of the parking lot.

"You ready for the open road?"

"No. Not at all. I like the safety of this very empty parking lot."

I can feel his smile, but I am far too focused to take the chance of looking over to confirm that fact. "I'd be right next to you the whole time."

I slow the car, trying my best to ease us to a stop but failing when we both go leaning forward before falling back into our seats. I look over at him, taking in his gentle eyes. "Can we just go slow today?" I ask, my hands still firm around the wheel.

He reaches out, sliding his fingers along mine and pulling them from the wheel. Raising it slowly, he places a kiss to my palm. "Yeah. We can take it slow. But it's okay to loosen up on the wheel. Let it feel comfortable, not controlled."

I nod, trying my best to find comfort when there's a whole fleet of butterflies swirling around my stomach. Who would have thought the simplest of a kiss to my hand would cause such a frenzy of sparkly stuff?

I bring my hand back to the wheel, sliding my fingers along the rounded edge as I take a deep breath. Slowly, I lift my foot from the brake and gently apply it to the gas, feeling the car jolt forward before abruptly removing it.

"It's okay," Nolan reassures me. "It takes some getting used to. Just try again." My grip tightens, his hand on mine as he looks over at me. "Red, breathe."

I let the pull of oxygen fill my lungs, lifting my chest before slowly releasing it. His hand falls back to his side as my hand relaxes around the wheel. I try again, slowly pressing down on the gas as the car moves forward.

We continue this way, me attempting to maneuver the car smoothly around the lot, Nolan offering pointers when needed, soft touches here and there and silent confidence when I seem to be finding my own sense of rhythm.

After driving in what felt like a thousand circles, we pulled the car off the pavement, driving a bit further into the open field and parking to take in the view. The rolling hills a vast open space, the clouds scattered so elegantly along a vibrant blue sky. Cows litter the fields, grazing effortlessly as if our presence doesn't add any hindrance to their day.

"So, did I pass the test?" I ask, leaning back against the hood of my mom's old car, my new car.

Nolan glances over at me, his hand in mine. I love that he does that. That he always keeps our hands tethered to one another. I happen to enjoy the way his touch adds a warmth to my chest. "And what test is that?"

"Driving. You think I'll be able to get a license soon?"

He smiles. "You have to get on the actual road before we go chasing that dream."

"Oh, come on," I sit up slightly, "I nailed the shit out of those parking lot circles."

He reaches up, sliding a hand along my cheek before tucking my hair behind my ear and holding my gaze with his. "You really did show that parking lot who was boss."

I smile back at him, squinting playfully at him. He squints back, shaking his head back and forth with a smile that has me laughing. I like laughing with him. I like that he can make everything feel light, like it's okay to be happy.

I lay back down, keeping his hand in mine as I scoot a little closer, our shoulders grazing one another. The sun is bright, the heat of the day caressing my skin as I look out over the tan colored hills. The way they line the blue sky, the sun rays spread in dancing waves adds to the tranquil beauty. "It's truly remarkable here," I breathe out.

He glances over at me, but I keep my eyes on the view. "Something tells me that wasn't your initial thought when you first came here."

I let my head roll to the side, my eyes finding his with a smile. "No. All I could seem to think was that my life just became overtaken by cows."

His laugh flutters across my chest. "There are a lot of cows here."

"Yeah," I agree, letting my head drift back to the open space in front of us. "But there's also a lot of quiet."

"I take it you didn't have a lot of that back in New York?"

"The quiet was different there," I say, letting the memories flood me. "It was like when you plug your ears. The sound is still audible but muffled by a numbing echo. Here, there's peace to the quiet. Like it's something actually worth finding."

He lets that very quiet fall over us, getting lost in the calm of it all. When he takes a breath, his eyes on me, he asks, "Do you remember Casey's party?"

"When you pulled me from the pool?"

He nods. "You said it was quiet at the bottom. That you couldn't hear the voices down there. Do you still hear them?"

I hold his hand in mine, his strength a pulse that beats within my chest. A comfort that brings me my own form of strength. "I don't think they'll ever be truly gone. But I'm learning to find my own quiet. Even in the chaos."

He nods, his eyes so gentle and understanding, as if we're writing the lyrics to the same song. "Do you ever miss it, though? The noise?"

I look back at him. "Sometimes," I admit. The truth is, there's a piece of me that will always linger in Autumn Grove. It's a home that raised me, shaped who I've become, offered me dreams. "But I think there's a lot more here that I like."

"Oh yeah?" He smiles, his thumb sliding along my hand. "Like what?"

I roll my eyes, but just as quickly as I try to shy away, his hand is on my cheek, his smile faded to something much more sincere as he looks at me.

"I like you, Nolan. I like that Blueridge has you."

His smile picks up, pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I like that Blueridge has you too, Red." He leans in, his lips softly pressed to mine.

"Nolan," I whisper. He pulls back, his eyes back on mine. "What comes next? People aren't exactly going to roll out the red carpet when they see us together. And our parents..."

"We don't have to tell anyone. Not yet. Not until we figure out a way to make everything work."

I nod. "So, what...we sneak around?"

"Could be fun." He shrugs with a playful smile. As I watch him, his smile drops, his thumb along my cheek sliding back and forth. "Red," he begins, "I want more than anything to stand on the fucking rooftops and shout to the entire town that I'm yours. But right now, until we can find a way to get our parents on board, I don't really want to risk losing this feeling. Because I really like what I'm feeling right now."

"And what exactly are you feeling, Nolan?"

"Happy," he replies without a second thought. "I'm so incredibly happy when I'm with you. You make me feel things, Red. Things that are completely new to me. And I just...I'm not ready to let that go just yet. To let other people take it away."

I lean in, that shade of red flooding my cheeks as I pull our bodies closer. "I'm happy, too, Nolan. You make me happy. You bring the quiet."

His lips are on mine again. He leans into me, bringing us closer together before his mouth parts. I follow his lead, our tongues sliding together, his breath and mine dancing a tango I'm learning to keep the rhythm to. This is all still so new to me. This feeling to feel him, to kiss him in ways I've only ever dreamt about. The sparkly frenzy that consumes me.

He's the only one I've ever kissed. The only one I've tasted. He owns a part of me, a piece that will forever be his to own. And while his hands move effortlessly across my waist, around to my back, my movements are more thought out. My movements are novice.

"Red," he breathes against my lips. "Stop thinking."

I pull back, my lips swollen as I look at him. "I'm sorry. I'm–"

"You're beautiful," he interrupts me, kissing my lips again. "I like kissing you. I really like kissing you. Trust that, and stop thinking. Can you do that?"

"Can I trust you?"

"Can you stop thinking," he clarifies. "And let me kiss you like you deserve to be kissed."

I nod, letting my fingers drift into his hair before pulling his mouth back to mine. I let my insecurities go, I let it all melt away into his hands. His breaths caught with mine, his heart pounding against the frantic beats of my own, his hands skilled as mine find their place. I might not know exactly what to do, but I know that I really like kissing him too. I know that, with him, I feel safe to let go, to be seen. And more than anything, I don't want to stop kissing him.