|the last christmas before godolkin|

Christmas was always something Ari looked forward to, but this year was completely different.

Her powers were just a bundle of mass chaos, and she was alone. She didn't have her mother. She didn't have Andre, who purposefully stayed away this year. She didn't have her dad, who was too ashamed to be with her, and most importantly she didn't have Jordan, the very person she convinced herself she hated.

     The holiday that seemed to be all about family was going to be spent alone, just the start of her never ending cycle of loneliness, or so she thought it would be.

All Ari could do was recall the past few Christmas's that were spent awkwardly avoiding Jordan's gaze until they could sneak away to be alone with each other, away from her brothers view, where they would talk about literally everything. That's how everyday was with them, but they had to be especially cautious during the holidays, when Jordan would stay in their extra room to get away from their parents, and their dorm once they got into college.

She looked through numerous albums of her once happy family and scrolled through her phone looking for the photos Jordan and her had taken in private, photos of them smiling together, videos of them doing stupid shit, and always laughing. All it did was make her miss what used to be.

Though they never really told anyone, Jordan and Andre met their freshman year of high school, Ari only knowing of them from her brother. They didn't like each other at first. Not until the Christmas break of Ari's sophomore yearns high school.

She claimed they were a narcissist, but she soon learned the truth. Jordan just wanted to be the best because even their own parents didn't care about them for them. No one else ever looked out for them, so they had to look out for their self.

   It took a lot for Ari to change her perspective on them, but after two years of stupid bickering

That Christmas break they sparked a connection was Jordans junior year of high school, Jordan was in their female form wearing matching pajamas with the family as Ari and Andre's mother had insisted.

"Why are you such an asshole?" Ari asked out loud, in front of her whole family.

   "Um, fuck you too?" Jordan flipped her off.

    "Hey guys, calm down it's just a game, no need to get worked up about anything." Ari's mother tried calming them down during an intense game of monopoly, in which Ari was losing badly.

"Why don't you two go watch a movie together, try to become friends or something." Andre suggested, something he'd regret years later.

They went upstairs to their lounge room to watch a movie per her brother's request with snacks and hot cocoa Ari's mother had put on a tray, to carry to them.

They sat at least a foot away from each other, inched to each end of the red satin loveseat.

Ari tried to get comfortable, but it was to no avail. Jordan had already riled her up like they usually did with their jokes.

"I get to hold the remote." Ari claimed, grabbing it from the console table in front of them.

"By all means." Jordan put their hands up indicating that they had no intention of arguing with her.

Ari started scrolling on the tv mindlessly passing plenty of good movies, movies that she just wasn't in the mood for.

After scrolling for what felt like forever for the perfect Christmas movie Jordan stopped her.

"That one."

"Love Actually? Is that even really a Christmas movie or is it just set during Christmas. I've never even heard of it."

"That's exactly what makes a movie a Christmas movie... and it actually is. It's a classic."

"I bet you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie too." She laughed, not knowing that they really did.

"It is.. it's like one of the best Christmas movies of all time?" They said as if it was obvious.

"You're joking."

"Yea I'm joking. But it is a Christmas movie. And it is a good one."

"Whatever. Let's just watch this." She finally agreed to it.

  After an hour of watching the movie she admitted that it wasn't bad, she had been really intensive laughing at the humorous parts and swooning over the romantic parts,  and when it was finally over she was upset over how much she liked the movie Jordan had picked out.

"What's wrong?" They asked, noticing the tears running town her cheeks.

"That was a really sweet movie. I love how it all connected at the end."

"So it was good?"

"It really was."

"See, I'm good at picking out movies."

  "Yeah you'll never get me to admit that.. It's my turn."

  Ari had finally gotten comfortable on the couch, not touching Jordan, but still only inches apart from them.

   Ari decided they would watch Elf  , one of her favorite movies of all time.

   During the movie Jordan reached for one of the cookies still left on the tray, at the same time as Ari, their hands brushing up against each other.

  It had changed things completely, it made them realize that they hadn't argued at all during the movies, and that they were now comfortable with each other. But they ignored it. Ari scoot away from them and they both kept quiet the rest of the movie.

  When the credits showed, Ari swiftly picked up her mothers tray and brought it to the kitchen, Jordan following close behind her.

  "Hold up." They said, but Ari pretended she didn't hear them. "Hey." They put their arm on her to stop her from walking off.

   "What Jordan?" She looked irritated, but she was really just scared about the new found thoughts she had on Jordan. They were attractive, she couldn't deny, but they were also her brothers best friend.

  "Jeez, you look pissed off or something. I thought we were having fun. I liked watching the movies with you."

  "I'm sorry we were. It's just.." She tried to look anywhere but at them.

   "I know I can seem like an ass sometimes but I didn't know you actually hated me."

   "Jordan how could I ever hate you. You're so likable it hurts. My parents love you, my brother loves you, and I think you're great."

  They were surprised about the words that had come from her mouth, they never knew she felt that way, but they felt the same way about her. They didn't know what it was in that moment, maybe the way her curls framed around her face, or the perfect shiny glow on her skin, but they were entranced in her. They kissed her, almost immediately regretting it.

  "Shit. I'm so sorry. I think I just misread the situation."

  "That wasn't what I was going for.. but." She set the tray down that was then at her side and pulled them back in, kissing them with all she had. this was so new to her. Sure she had kissed someone before, but this was Jordan, the Jordan who always picked on her with stupid jokes, the same Jordan that was her brothers nerdy or that's what she classed them as even though they weren't, friend. They moved to Ari's room, so they wouldn't get caught.

  "Oh lord. I don't think this is what Andre meant when he said that you guys should become friends or something else." Ari's mother said walking in on the two of them making out.

  "Mom!" Ari yelled, embarrassed and ashamed.

  "Don't worry. I won't tell Andre. And please do not do anything while we're still in the house I'm begging."

  "That is not what was going to happen. Trust me Mrs. Anderson." Jordan said respectfully, and it was the truth.

"Jordan, I told you to call me Sarah. And I didn't think you two would, but I wanted to make things clear."

"Thank you mom." Ari said signaling for her to leave.

  "Alright. I'll go." She left the room.

  "I'm just going to go back to the room I'm staying in, I'll text you." Jordan left awkwardly, and they did.

  Ari didn't know that it would be the last Christmas she would ever spend with her mother.

  Christmas became their holiday, almost like an anniversary mark of their secret relationship, and it became a distraction for Ari. If it was their holiday she wouldn't have to think about the future holidays she would have to spent without her mother, because she was with Jordan.

Last christmas had been Ari's favorite holiday memory, besides the one memory she shared with her mother years before she died. Her mom hated the cold, almost as much as she did, but Polarity dragged the Anderson family iceskating. After two hours in the cold iceskating rink they had to walk to an auto shop to get parts to fix their now rundown car. They stopped for hot chocolate on the way back and watch Christmas movies when they got home for hours.

Last Christmas Jordan had gotten into a huge argument with their parents. They had been off for weeks, until Andre finally invited them over for the holidays like he usually did, but much earlier. It was so different without his and Ari's  mother, but it was still a good holiday.

  Andre had been suspicious of his best friend and sister for months now, but he didn't confront them or care. He knew she was happy, especially when she opened her present from them. It was an infinity necklace. Did they both think he was stupid?

  She gave them a huge hug, and when they opened their present from her Andre swore they were going to kiss, but they didn't.

They unwrapped a necklace capturing the perfect balance of both sides of them. It was a half chain, half pearl necklace.

  Andre left them alone after that to make the cookies, which ended in an awful mess. It turned out that Jordan was awful at icing sugar cookies.

  Once they finished making the cookies, and thought Andre had went to sleep they watched their favorite Christmas movies as they held each other by the fireplace. He wasn't asleep, he saw them, but he still said nothing. He knew that they were together, and he knew when they broke up. He just let it go on, but that still wasn't the reason Jordan wasn't invited to Christmas this year. It was the accident that happened only a few months before.

   Ari now sat in her room by herself with a mug of her mother's favorite hot cocoa she wondered  what Christmas would be like in the years to pass. She never expected Jordan to be there, for all of them.

A/N: Sorry for the super rushed writing I promise I'll fix it, but here is my christmas gift to you inspired by a comment from Theyluvvobx