Hello, Lovelies,

Thank you so much for reading Faded.  I truly appreciate all of you.  Thank you for being patient while I was on hiatus.  I truly appreciate it.  Also, thank you to those who gave me well-wishes and condolences.  It means the world to me that you thought of me.  I really do have wonderful readers.  You will never know how much I appreciate it.

I do hope you enjoy this chapter.  If you do, you know how you can show it.  I adore you all!  

-XXXXX Amanda 

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June 19, 1970

I closed my eyes, my stomach growling as I glanced around the small room where the foster family, The Bertram's had put me to sleep. I stared at my hands, red and burning from the scrubbing Mrs. Bertram had given me because as a foster kid, I was unclean.

She had brought me to the room afterwards, quoting scriptures over me. I was too afraid to ask for something to eat. I was afraid to know what would happen next.

A tear leaked from my eye as my stomach cramped, causing me to sit up and stare at the door. I swallowed desperate to fill my empty stomach. Slowly, I got out of bed and tiptoed toward the door, my body still burning from the brush Mrs. Bertram had used to scrub me.

I reached the door and turned the knob but it was locked. I glanced around the dark room panicking as I started pulling at the knob, crying. I was so panicked I didn't hear the lock on the door release. The door swung open throwing me back on the floor. I looked up into the dark eyes of Mrs. Bertram, swallowing the fear at the anger in her eyes.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Mrs. Bertram asked, her brows raised over her flashing eyes.

"I-I was hungry," I whispered, tears burning my eyes.

"We have to make sure all of the evil from your past is purged," she said, causing me to frown. I didn't understand what purge meant but I did understand that she thought I was bad.

"But-"

"No, Megan," she said, her voice calm as she moved toward me and reached out her hand, "We want you to be a good girl. Now, it's time to go to bed."

I nodded too afraid to say anything else. I took her hand and she pulled me up from the floor before leading me to the bed. She tucked me in.

"Good night, Megan," she said, causing my bottom lip to tremble as she closed the door. The lock clicked into place as I sobbed. My stomach was no longer rumbling. Instead, one question kept echoing through my mind.

Am I bad?

***********

June 4, 1983

We walked into the house that night quiet in our own thoughts. My eyes slid to his as he took my hand, wondering if he was going to tell the rest of the band that we were together. Kevin walked into the living room, his brows raising as he brushed his long, blond hair from his eyes and peered at us taking in our clasped hands. A grin slid, slowly over his face.

"Hey, Megan Doll," he said, waiting for me to speak, "Anything you want to tell us?"

I glanced at Micah, my heart in turmoil because I didn't know what he wanted me to tell his bandmates. He released my hand causing my heart to clinch a second before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against him.

"We're together," Micah said, simply, kissing my temple and calming my heart as I smiled.

"Fucking finally, man," Kevin said, rolling his eyes, "I guess this means no more flirting, Megan Doll."

A frown crossed his brow and I knew he was thinking of Liza. When Liza and I first moved to Cali, Kevin had crushed on her. Unfortunately for him, Liza loved Tommy. Kevin had accepted it after a while but sometimes, the sadness of her decision still seeped through.

"I'll let everyone else know," Kevin said, smirking, "They'll be glad that you're off the market. More girls for them...Well...Except for Tommy. He doesn't see anyone but Liza."

Micah nodded, "Thanks," he said, tugging my hand toward my room.

"Have fun," Kevin said, behind us, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That leaves a lot open," Micah said, chuckling as we ascended the stairs.

I opened the door to my room, breaking away from him as he stepped inside and closed the door to deposit my purse on the desk. I turned toward him as he took the strides towards me, cupping my cheeks and pressing his lips against mine. His tongue traced the seam of my mouth, gaining access as his tongue twisted with mine. My heart leapt as he pulled away, his forehead resting against mine.

"I want to stay with you tonight," he whispered and I realized he was asking for permission. I couldn't say anything. Instead, I nodded my head.

"I'm not pressuring you to do anything," he said, his brow furrowing, "You know that, right?"

"You never have," I said, pressing my lips against his and moving my hand under his shirt, sliding my fingers over his smooth skin as I moved closer to him, "I want you to stay."

His eyes dilated as he pulled me against him, his lips pressing against mine. His fingertips brushed down my spine before gripping my shirt, breaking the kiss to pull it over my head. He inhaled sharply, his dark eyes becoming almost ravenous.

His lips crashed against mine as he unzipped my skirt, allowing it to fall to the floor, leaving me in only my bra, panties and heels before lifting me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his erection through his jeans against my core.

"Micah," I whispered against his lips as my body trembled.

"I know, baby," he said, his voice gritty with desire, "I've waited for this moment for years."

He laid me on the bed before pulling his shirt over his head. I had seen him shirtless many times but this time was different. This time he was mine. My eyes widened as he unbuckled his belt and slid his ripped jeans down his long legs, taking his underwear with them. My eyes widened, settling on the one part of him I had never seen, jutting proud and long from his body.

I forced my eyes to his face, darkness swirled in his eyes mixing desire and vulnerability in an expression that made my stomach clench. He moved over me, pressing his lips to mine before breaking away to slide his nose down my jaw and my neck, inhaling before his teeth pressed into my sensitive skin between my neck and shoulder.

I inhaled sharply, arching my back and pressing my body closer to his. He took the opportunity to reach behind me and unhook my bra, sliding the straps down my arms. His eyes dilated, trained on my breasts as he licked his lips.

"More beautiful than I imagined," he said, cupping them in his calloused hands. He leaned forward taking one rosy peak into his mouth. My body shook as he rolled my other nipple in his hand. My hands found his hair, tugging with each clench of my sex.

He kissed up my neck, "I can't wait anymore," he said, his voice tortured, "I've waited too long for you."

"I'm on birth control," I whispered, knowing I should have learned from Liza that they didn't always work but this once, I wanted to feel him. I wanted to truly be with Micah.

His lips melded to mine as he pressed against me, entering me in one quick movement, causing me to gasp. His fingertips moved over my arm, reaching for my hand before intertwining our fingers. He pulled away from my lips to study my face as he moved slowly, his eyes dilating as they searched my face.

He kissed me again as my nerves sparked with pleasure. His hand tightened on mine as his thrusts became faster, harder and almost desperate.

"I love you, Megan," he whispered so low that I wondered if I had imagined it but he spoke again casting the doubt away, "I've always loved you."

I wanted to answer him but I fell over into the euphoria of the moment, his name on my lips as my body shook, gripping him and pulling him over the edge with me.

He fell on my chest, releasing my hand so I could wrap him in my embrace as I whispered, "I've always loved you too."

I closed my eyes hoping those words would not come back to shatter my already battered heart.