Hello, Lovelies,

Thank you so much for reading Faded!  Also, thank you for your patience while I've been sick.  I am feeling a bit better.  I truly appreciate you all.  

News: I am still self-editing Sparked.  I will be buckling down on that this week because my editor, Kim Young, is almost ready for the manuscript.  After Sparked is finished, Burned will be going through the same process.  I hope you'll check them both out when I'm done.  

I hope you enjoy this chapter.  If you do, please consider voting.  Comments are appreciated.  If you have any questions, comment or send me a message.  

-XXXX Amanda

**********

June 3, 1983

I wish life was easy. I couldn't help but think that as I stared down into Tammy's sweet little face while she was sleeping. Tammy was the daughter of my foster sister, Liza and the lead singer of the band, Jaded Minds, Tommy. Tommy was also a foster kid...His whole band was including Micah Kane.

I sighed as Micah's face floated in front of my mind causing my heart to ache. I was in love with him. I could no longer deny it.

"I hope you never have these problems," I whispered to Tammy as I touched her soft cheek. Her lips pursed as I rocked her waiting for Liza to return to the room.

"What problems?" Liza asked, her blue eyes darkening as her gaze met my hazel eyes.

I tucked my long dark hair behind my ear, wincing because I had been heard, "Nothing," I said, making sure my smile was bright.

She crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't believe you."

"I'm fine," I said, raising my brows as I faced the girl who knew me better than anyone else, knowing I was lying because I had seen the magazine where Micah was cuddled up to another girl.

"Megan," she whispered, concern in her voice but I didn't want to concern her. I wanted Liza happy with her husband, daughter, brother and two adopted sons. She had been through so much but she didn't need to take on my problems too.

"I told you I'm fine," I said, grinning until my dimples were visible, "See...Dimples."

"It's Micah, isn't it?" She asked, tilting her head as she studied me.

I stood with Tammy in my arms to put her in her bed cursing myself for showing how I felt about him. Liza had never called me out on my feelings for him but she knew.

"Liza," I said, my voice carrying a warning that I didn't want to talk about him or my stupid feelings.

"Listen, I'll get over it," I said, realizing I had to say something to calm her because Liza being anxious over me when she already worried enough was not something I wanted.

A frown marred her face but she nodded, "Just know that I'm here if you need me," she said, her bottom lip trembling.

I nodded and though it appeared she wanted to say more, her seventeen-year-old brother, Nicky came into the room, his blue eyes twinkling. He winked at me, forever the flirt.

I giggled and walked toward him, patting his cheek, "You're going to break a lot of girls hearts with that charm of yours."

He placed his hand over his heart dramatically, "But I only want your heart."

"You better watch this one," I said, causing Nicky to chuckle, "I have to get back home. I love you, guys."

Liza nodded, "Call me or come by if you need me."

I blew her a kiss and turned to make my way out of the house and to the car I bought with my new job as Bo's assistant before dropping the smile and driving back to the house that I had tried to avoid all day.

**********

I walked into the house, sighing as I trudged upstairs hoping no one saw me on the way. Night had fallen over L.A. and though the day usually brought life to other towns, it was different there. The night was when everyone came alive and music littered the streets.

I turned down the hallway where my room was, stopping when I found the last person I wanted to see leaning against my door. His face lit up ignorant that he hurt me almost every day.

I gave him a bright, tired smile as I approached, "Hi, Micah," I said, not seeing the rock star...Never seeing the rock star...Just the guy I knew before fame shined its glorious light on him.

"Megan Doll, I was worried," he said, his dark eyes roaming over my face, "But then, Liza told me you had been there and were on your way home."

Clueless...He was absolutely clueless about my feelings for him. I stepped closer to him and repeated the lie I had spoken over the last few months.

"I'm fine," I said, giving him my dimpled smile, "I wanted to see the baby."

He tilted his head studying me as I opened the bedroom door, "Megan, is something wrong?"

I shook my head, turning on the light knowing he would follow. He always did. I couldn't escape him here.

He stopped beside my bed and I winced as he glanced at the newspaper with ads for apartments. He reached forward picking them up and then, shook his head before glancing at them again. His eyes darkened.

"What are these?" He asked, his voice strained as if he had the breath knocked out of him.

"I have a job now and a car," I said with a shrug, "I can't keep taking advantage of the band's hospitality.

He gritted his teeth, the muscles in his jaw bulging beneath his tanned skin, "You're not taking advantage," he said, through gritted teeth, "We want you here. You're family."

"And I'll still be family wherever I live," I said, trying to ignore him as his eyes darkened.

He bit his bottom lip as he turned toward me, "But you won't be here with me."

Why was he making me feel guilty? I didn't understand it. He had relations with other women. He just thought of me as a friend.

I took a deep breath, refusing to back down because it was driving me insane being around him every day knowing he didn't feel for me like I did for him.

"Micah," I sighed, rubbing my hands across my eyes, "You did well without me here before I came to California. You'll do well when I live across town."

"No, I won't," he said his voice soft, "I need to see you when I'm here. I need to know you're here."

I sighed, "Micah, I can't stay here forever," I said, tilting my head.

"Then, we'll get an apartment together," he said, his eyes wide and my heart ached because I realized his fear of abandonment was causing him to panic.

"I'm not abandoning you, Micah," I said, moving closer to him, "You will know where I live. You can come by any time you want."

He shook his head, but his breathing was still coming too fast. I moved toward him wrapping my arms around him like I had since we were kids in foster care, holding him close until his breathing slowed.

"Please don't leave me, Megan," he said, his breath moving my hair as his tears fell onto the top of my head, "Please stay with me."

I pulled away from him to stare into his face, knowing I was sacrificing my heart in order to keep him safe.

"I'm not leaving," I said, knowing that even though it would hurt, I was willing to go through any amount of pain for Micah.

***********

I stared at the ceiling waiting. Micah was asleep in my bed, his anxiety over being abandoned still too high to leave. This wasn't the first time he had gotten anxious over me leaving. It wasn't even the tenth. He had often snuck into my room after our foster parents were asleep, leaving before they woke in the morning, afraid I would disappear. I wondered if he had this reaction to anyone else in his life. He certainly hadn't acted upset when Tommy moved out of the house with Liza. I shook my head because my mind was taking me down a path it had been on before...One that always left me with a broken heart. I wouldn't do that again.

His scream rent the air, so heartbreaking...Always so heartbreaking as I raised my head to grasp his cheeks. I cupped his cheeks. His eyes burst open, wildly searching the room before they landed on me. He blinked as tears drenched his cheeks.

"Megan?" He said as if not sure I was really with him.

"I'm here, Micah," I whispered as he pulled me against him. His heart beat wildly beneath my palm as I calmed him,

"Promise you won't leave," he said, desperately, his voice edging on panic, "Promise you'll stay with me."

I frowned because it sounded like a promise that bound us by more than friendship. I swallowed.

"One day, you'll find someone to marry and have kids," I said, softly, my heart clenching in my chest when his breathing picked up, "But I'll stay until you will be okay without me."

He pulled me against him, "That will never happen, Megan Doll," he whispered, "I'll always want you with me."

I nodded but I knew he would find those things one day. I laid my head against his chest, falling deeper into his life knowing that my heart would be crushed but still, I couldn't deny him even when I knew that his need for me to be near was going to destroy me in the end.