KIM NAMJOON'S POV

Was this a dream?

I rubbed my sleepy eyes and peeled them open again, and Soomi was still standing in front of me, wearing that ever grimacing look on her face.

"Morning," she said, her voice flat. "Can I come inside and talk to you?" 

"Why are you here?" I asked meekly but stepped aside anyway. She barged inside like a storm. I followed her quick footsteps to the living room, only to find her plopping down on the mattress and taking out a few books from her bag, then placing them side by side on the table.

This was definitely a hallucination. Happens when your brain can't get enough oxygen so the hypothalamus starts showing things that actually isn't happening.

"I, ah, I'm going to go and wash my face," I muttered to myself and bolted inside. She was definitely here in person.

I had stayed up till late again, working on the idea of my thesis, and future plans away from the country. This entire week I had only slept for five hours tops every night, which was resulting my brain to go haywire.

After I was done splashing a good amount of water on my face, and cleansing my eyes a several times, I went back to the living room again.

"You took enough time." She was sitting there with her back straight, arms crossed over her chest. "I came here because I'm done going through all the materials you gave me last time. I need new books now."

I exhaled, taking a seat in front of her. I wasn’t even expecting to get the books back from her as surely it would've taken her more than three weeks to go through them all, or so I'd thought. "How did you finish reading them all in such a short period of time?"

"If you don't believe me, then take a quiz. Ask me something I wouldn't know." She said, staring into my eyes. "I even grew pimples for studying too much!"

She looked infuriated and I wondered why.

"Okay, I believe you. If you want to read more I think you can find books on your own. Just visit that library and—" I trailed off, taking a notebook and a pen that were lying on the table. "I'll write you the names, but this is the last time."

"Why last time?" She counterattacked, as I was writing down on the paper. I looked up to see her face.

She looked angrier but still, sad? Somehow.

"You said you would help me, so why are you pushing me away now?"

I couldn't speak for a second there. My mind trying to search for the words I hadn't prepared for those questions.

"We've talked about this Soomi," I finally said. "And you're good to go now. You don't need my help."

"What about my sexuality?" She puffed up her cheeks, furrowing her eyebrows more making a weird face. "Only you know. You said you'd help me!"

In lose of words again, I tightly closed my eyes for a second, then opened them. "Oh yeah. Right. I have this counselor friend I've told you about before—"

"But I need you."

She shut me off. My breath almost hitching at that point, and it felt like the world had stopped spinning. Did I hear her right?

"I need your advise before I need some counselor's. Yes, you're my teacher, and you were really friendly and I liked that about you. But now you're acting so strange, Namjoon!" She said it all in one breath. "I don't get you!"

I bit my lower lip hard, looking away from her face. How could I tell her that me getting involved more with her wasn’t doing anything good. That every time I looked at her face, I remembered my first love, all thanks to Yoongi messing up with my already chaotic brain.

Even before him, I'd found myself caring for her too much. What if I'd grown an infatuation?

No, I was not smitten by her. I just liked her a little more than the other students.

But—

"What are you thinking about?" She snapped her fingers at me.

"You should go home now. I have to meet someone," I told her, a little strictly but she didn't budge from her seat.

"When are you going to meet them?" She asked instead.

"A-afternoon?"

"It's only morning." She deadpanned. "I'm staying with you until you give a clearcut answer. I think I deserve a clear explanation, Mr. Kim Namjoon."

My heart skipped a beat hearing her say my full name in such a intimidating way but I shook my head.

"Who are you meeting?" She asked next.

"Just someone."

"Yoongi?"

"No. It's an old friend," I replied. "I'm meeting them after a very long time so I need to prepare myself. Take a shower and everything."

"That wouldn't take you till afternoon." She opened a book and kept her solemn eyes on the pages. "So tell me about that girl friend you last told me about. I'm curious."

"You don't need to know about her," I interjected immediately, making her look up at me.

"You are meeting her today, aren't you?"

My heart skipped another beat.

I stayed quiet. Her eyes slowly became softer, radiating a dreamy glow of the westering sun.

"Don't meet her if you don't want to."

"Who told you I don't want to? I'm excited to meet her!" I defended myself but her expression stayed the same.

"I don't know. I only assumed by looking at you." She grumbled, pulling away her stare from me. "If she was mean to you in the past, you don't have to meet her."

"She wasn't mean." I could only say that.

Maybe I really didn't want to meet her. It would only hurt me to see her face again. I'd been running away all this time.

"Your phone has been ringing for a while." Soomi's voice made me look at my phone sitting on top of the table. I forgot it was there.

The caller ID said Kim Moonsoo.

She was calling me. Years had gone by and she was still possibly unaware of my feelings for her. Though, there were times when I'd felt like she was leading me on. That was all in the past where it belonged.

I hesitantlhy took the phone in my hand, not wanting to pick up the call but, I knew I had to.

"Is it her?" I heard Soomi's voice say.

"It is her." She added to my silence next.

Next thing I knew that my phone wasn't in my hand but in hers. She had snatched it away within seconds. "I know you don't want to pick up her call," she stated, giving me an agitated look.

"Just give it back Soomi!" I tried to reach for my phone but she took her hand further to the left.

"You don't unders—" I lifted up my upper body from beside the table to reach for it.

Bam.

I fell. Thankfully, I had placed my hands first on the ground so my head didn't hit the floor. I slowly opened one eye, then the other one.

How could this happen?

I was on top of her! Soomi was lying right in front of my face, my hands placed by her both sides and only that was keeping my head to crush on her.

My lower half of the body was still at the other side of the table, making my position as dangerous as it was.

She kept staring at me with her wide eyes, separeted by a thin slice of air between us. "Don't move." I swallowed hard. If she moved either our head would crush together or my legs which were on the opposite side of the table would slip, getting us both hurt.

"I won't," she whispered, our eyes still locked with each other.

Rather than trying to figure out how to get up, I kept staring at her hazel brown eyes, that dreamy glow radiating again. And my mind became blank when it followed the blush on her cheeks, her faint freckles that were invisible from afar, the tiny mole under her nose, and then her lips. Her lips.