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17: holding hands

"I may have a date today." I casually slipped the announcement in, sitting on a chair at Namjoon's office. "At afternoon."

Namjoon was typing something away in his laptop, he stopped for a second, and then again concentrated on it. Yoongi looked up from his reclining position.

"May? You either have a date or not, what's 'may'?"

I shifted, getting ready to elaborate since someone actually showed a bit curiosity. "It's kind of like I asked Hoseok out, also not. He asked me to go to movies with him but I couldn't the other day. So instead, I suggested something else to him. And we are gonna hang out in an amusement park today!"

"So?" Yoongi pursed his lips.

"So?? Amusement parks?" I tried to knock some sense into him but his expression didn't change. "In anime, things always happen in an amusement park. Dating or starting to get feelings. Maybe I'll get some feels too."

Yoongi's face quickly changed into a bitter expression. "Just say that you want to visit an amusement park."

"Soomi." Namjoon shut his laptop with a loud clank, making us turn to him.

"Good luck," he said with a serious face. "Now if you want to develop feelings for someone, you've got to know them better. If you find them interesting feelings can sometimes blossom for them. Ask him questions, tell him about yourself too."

I nodded, mentally noting it all down. Namjoon opened his mouth to talk again. "Also, don't be back too late at night. Be careful."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and then let out a small huff of breath. "Okay."

***

"Wow, we are matching today." Hoseok beamed at me, then twirled around to show me his shirt.

We were matching, coincidentally of course. We were both wearing white shirts and black jeans. But my shirt was full sleeved and he was wearing a snapback to top off his looks.

"Yeah." I looked down at myself then looked back at him. "The only difference is you look good, I don't."

"Oh, come on!" He laughed, casually linking his arms with mine. He was always too friendly. The skin-ship didn't bother me much.

"Yeah, okay, I'm handsome." I sighed and gave him his ticket. "So, what first? Rollercoasters?"

A thrill ran down my spine when I thought about the scary rides. I still remembered when I was a kid I'd planned and pulled a prank on the ghosts in the haunted house. A smug look came across my face when I recalled the memory, and also the face of a child version of Jimin, crying— an utter mess with his snots and tears.

Hoseok jogged a few steps ahead then looked back. "Other rides are more fun. How about the carousel, or the ferryboat?"

"Hmm." I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Hoseok, don't tell me you're afraid of the scary rides."

Hoseok laughed but I could see him panicking for a second. "Of course not!"

"You are scared, Hoseok is scared!" I laughed, and he joined me in it. He was pretty determined in his plan because before I'd known it, I was actually riding the carousel and then a boat on the lake.

It didn't take me much time to figure out he was terrified of those other rides. I didn't tease him anymore because he was enjoying it way too much. He was running around like a toddler, clicking photos nonstop, telling me to make funny poses for him, and soon, I was tired.

He out-energied me; I wouldn't care if that's not even a word.

"This is so fun. I don't think I've enjoyed this much in a long time," Hoseok said in his boisterously loud voice, ice cream in one hand and a balloon in his other.

I couldn't help but giggle like a stupid thirteen year old trying to impress another boy from the upper class.

And then I realized, I hadn't done the anime activities I mentally thought I would. Nor did I take Namjoon's advice. This whole ordeal would be futile, except for the fun.

I looked around a little, the sun was setting, couples scattered around almost every inch of the place. "Should we take a selfie?" I suggested seeing the others taking photos of themselves.

"Or should we ride the ferries wheel?" I said again as sudden flashbacks of some shoujo anime came across my mind.

That's the ultimate place! The ferries wheel! Couple or not, their hearts would always go doki doki when they ride a ferries wheel together.

Hoseok wasn't replying so I turned to look at him and he was staring at somewhere else, completely unaware of everything else that existed around him.

"What is it Hoseok?" I asked, taking a step closer to him.

"Let's go and watch that. What do you say?" He turned his face to me for a second. He was smiling, his eyes glimmering like a pair of pearls.

"Of course," I chirped out and we both walked down there. In the midst of the crowd, there was a small podium filled with people in black outfits and big, blaring soundboxes. They were hiphop dancers, and all of them were dancing in synchronization, earning loud cheers from the people watching them.

"I didn't know amusement parks had shows like this!" I said loudly, clapping with the crowd. When I looked at Hoseok, he was slowly moving his body to the music, his feet tapping the ground, hands clapping the sides of his body with the music.

"Anyone from the crowd!" The person who was dancing in the front, I assumed he was the main dancer stopped and shouted. "You can come and dance with us!"

"We have one here!" I shouted back in reply. Without a warning, I pushed a bewildered Hoseok out of the crowd, making him stumble towards the dancers.

He gave me a surprised look and I could only give him a thumbs up, the music changed in the meantime.

The crowd was cheering for Hoseok too. However, he was concentrated elsewhere. He was listening to the music carefully. The other dancers had already started dancing and they asked him to join too.

Suddenly, it seemed as if a jolt of electric shock ran through Hoseok. He moved his body accurately to the beat, hands in the air, feet jumping, making the crowd go pin-dropped silent, but then the next second everyone bursted out hollering.

I was stunned too. There was this expression on Hoseok's face I'd never seen before. He looked so passionate and different than his usual bubbly self.

He smiled at the crowd and kept on dancing to the music. My eyes were permanently glued to him. This could be the most amazing thing I'd seen after stranger things.

The music got more energetic and he started b-boying. Spinning on the floor with his body upside down, then getting up with a jump, again spinning using only one hand, doing a headstand. I'd never seen anything like this before. Even the others had stopped dancing, watching him awed.

As the music was ending Hoseok got up and bowed. Quickly he came down the stage, his cheeks flashed, sweat pouring down his forehead. He held my arm. "Let's go!" And he started running.

I hadn't realized how many people joined just to see him. The crowd was too big and loud by the time we were escaping.

"Oh my god, what was I doing?" Hoseok said to himself when we were far from those people.

"Bitch, that was the most amazing thing ever I've seen," I yelled out, using all my might. My heart was still racing and the blood cells underneath my skin were boiling from the rush.

Hoseok stared at me for a second then bursted out into a soft fit of laughter.

"Really? How come you're so talented and there's people like me!" I exclaimed. "I heard from my other friend Yoongi that Namjoon can rap too. He and you would be good friends!"

"This Namjoon guy must be amazing." Hoseok cackled, walking by my side. He  looked a little exhausted from all the dancing. "You've talked so much about him that I want to meet him now."

"I've talked about him before?" I halted in my way.

"Yeah!" He stretched out his arms. "You said that he has dimples too. And that he would break the boat if he was here because he's too clumsy."

"I said those?" I was seriously shocked this time. "Today?"

"Yep, you did." Hoseok smiled at me gently.

"Hoseok, can I ask you something?"

I'd missed all that hearbeat-going-crazy romantic feelings today, and it was almost certain to me that I just might not develop those for him, the perfect candidate right before my eyes. It was making me melancholic a little, the fact that I just couldn’t get those feelings for myself when I craved them so much.

When he nodded, I asked the question I was thinking about. "How do you like someone, romantically? How does it come to you?"

Hoseok shrugged with his shoulders, his hands in his front pockets. He didn't seem like he thought about it a lot.

"I don't know. It just comes to me, it doesn't even matter to me what gender they are really. When I start developing feelings for someone in particular I just do."

That must be nice, I wanted to say but his phone rang.

***

I let out a pained groan, plopping myself down on a bench outside a convenience store. I sat with my legs crossed and started massaging my ankle. My house was close from up here but my legs couldn't take it anymore. I had overdone myself having too much fun today with an injured ankle.

"You okay?" A deep voice snapped me back from my thoughts and when I looked up, Namjoon was looking down at me with a grocery bag in his hand.

Oh, his place was right around the corner.

"Yep." I straightened up, putting my feet down.

"You came back early."

"Yeah, Hoseok's dance studio suddenly called in emergency."

"You came back alone?" Namjoon shifted in his stance. "Did you have fun though?"

"It was fun and he insisted on taking me home, but I don't need a man, I don't need a man," I sang Miss A, making him let out a chuckle.

"Let's go home then." He held out a hand towards me, taking his bag in the other. "It seems like you've hurt your ankle."

I looked at his hand and then got up by myself, only to stumble and almost fall losing my balance until he came forward and grabbed my hand in seconds.

"It's okay." Namjoon assured, his warm hand tightly clasping my small one. "You can hold my hand."

I wanted to say okay but no words came out. He looked ahead, then looked at me again. "Your house is that way right?" As I nodded, he started walking ahead with me following him, holding onto his hand.

There was this tingling sensation in my heart, my ears felt hot against the chilly wind at night. For an instance, I forgot about the pain in my ankle, and only focused on his back facing me, and his hand spreading warmth to my body.

I'd never felt like this before, and, I'd never held onto a friend's hand like this.

---
A/n: APPRECIATE JUNG HOSEOK, KIM SEOKJIN, KIM NAMJOON AND MIN YOONGI. DON'T SLEEP ON THE HYUNG LINE!

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