Drunk Cupid in a Bar

... *burp*...

You look'n at me, sweet honey-hon?

You think'n I'm just a dumpy-bum?

You think'n I'm a deranged

... *burp*...

Sniper?

Wear'n a diaper?

With this bow an arrow?

Hey!

... *burp*..

Listen up!

I coulda been a contender!

If the Big Guy hadn't caught me on a bender

I coulda been a seraphim!

Not just a drippy,

... *burrrp! *...

Tubby cherubim.

Hey!

... *burp*...

I coulda closed on the Santa gig!

But, nooooo! no NO no no!

They just HAD to have a reindeer rig!

I even applied for that

Easter Bunny

.... *sad sad sigh*...

They all thought I was be'n funny.

I wasn't a very

Good Tooth Fairy.

Pannerantly, it's a big, fat, frig'n CRIME!

To spend the quarters and just

Leave em dimes.

Who Knew!

... *BUURRP!! *...

Well what did they expect?

I was born a god!

A GOD!

... *alligator tears* ...

For pweet spity's sake!

Sweet Mercy!

... *slurp 'n burp*...

GIMME A BREAK!

Ma and Pappy

Are both happy

Fill er UP! Foo tingers!

... burrrrp!...

Fly'n high in the sky!

They don't even say "hi".

...* sigh and blow nose on edge of diaper*...

I think they're embarrassed

That I tease and harass,

With drippy love arrows,

That send fools to Eros!

*burp!... pounds bar top with finger! *

Cause HE got the SEX!

...* sobs*.....

They liked him the best...

I'm hexed!

But, Hey!

Don't you be sorry for me.

I got big plans for the future, see?

I'm gonna open up a fine stoe shore

For men of refinement!

... *burp! *...

In Denver!

I'll get baptized a Lutheran!

I'll wear red suppspenders!

... *sneeze burp*...

yeah! That's what I'll do!

That'll show em!

An that'll show you!

....* big long sigh*....

I coulda been a tonkenerrr...

*CRASH*

"Hey, barkeep!

The little nekkid guy

Just off his stool!"

"That's ok.

He gets that way.

After a long day

Of shoot'n love

Away. "