Bin Mohabbat

Summery: she admits it so easily, that they were not made for each other. Or where Swara finally tells Sanskar everything - almost, everything.

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It seemed a curse. That followed her in never ending pursuit. Swara inhaled sharply, feeling that old prick of regret, hurt and left over heart break.

Sahil has the nerve to stand before her and smile. She couldn't watch that greesy grin without recalling each lie, each false promise that had slipped from those lips.

Her inner turmoil must have reflected upon her face, for Sanskar placed a gentle hand on her rigid shoulder.

Their contact was brief, a feeling that was barely there. But a certain sense of ease flew over her.

"Is there a problem here?" He asked in undertone, keeping his voice pleasant for the sake of appearances.

"Swara," Sahil called raising his tone above the hush of waves.
"Won't you introduce us - for the old time's sake?"

Sanskar frowned, he wasn't entirely sure if he appreciated the man's self assured address, or the way Swara had gone all bitter at his appearance.

If there were dead buried in her backyard, he did not want to go digging at it with Sahil at tow. His frown deepened when Swara clutched at his sleeve unconsciously her grip tugging away his hand as she gritted her teeth.

"I don't think Sen Guptas of 'World Daily' needs an introduction," Sanskar said tartly, wrapping an arm around Swara's shoulders in the spur of the moment. "Mr. Kabir Sha of my legal team is quite acquainted with your registered office."

Sahil's smile slipped.

But he is nothing if not a smooth talker and he was much accustomed at having implications of their newspaper's not so honorable moves being thrown at his face, Sahil caught and managed his expression.

"Ah but Mr. Maheshwari, Swara would not have described me in quite the same light. Right Swara?"

To think that he imagined she had anything good to say about him, Swara felt sick st the prospect. In fact, Sahil seemed to enjoy her predicament, not much unlike the way a cat would play with a mouse it did not intend to eat immediately.

The implication angered her, for Swara was anything but a mouse - misguided or foolishly blinded she might have been once upon a time.

She picked Sunny up and looked at Sahil straight in the eye.

"I'm not sure, since I have Sunny with me - I want to say it out loud right now."

Sanskar couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. Sahil looked at her as if she had smashed a brick on his teeth.

Sunny looked between them and then at Sahil and tugged at Swara's dupatta.

"Ice cream?" He inquired.

"Well," Sanskar commented.
"Please excuse us Mr. Sen Gupta, I'd be sure to hear all about your acquaintance from Swara some other time. Enjoy your day!"

*

"Won't you ask?" They were nearing Karma shores when Swara spoke.

Sunny was leaning drowsily against her leaving the entire back seat to a sandy Buddy to lie. Swara had watched Sanskar tentatively for a while, trying as she often does with others to read his expression.

The words at the tip of her tongue burned her with their urgency, she had to tell him. It infuriated her, for she knew she owed him none of it, yet the urge to come clean was overwhelming.

Sanskar glanced at her, changing the gear, easily keeping his eyes on the road and on her face at the same time. Mid day sun brought out copper hints to his eyes and scattered winged shadows of his lashes upon his cheeks. He could have been a model, she thought wearily - with that indulgent look beneath his lashes -

"He's worn out," Sanskar commented referring to Sunny who snuggled more comfortably against Swara. She stroked his hair absentmindedly.

"It's difficult to burn out all his energy. He'll be bouncing back in no time. I mean about Sahil."

She took his name with such venom that Sanskar chuckled.

"Ab Sen Gupta ke barremain hum kya poochein," he said. "He's quite famous for all the wrong reasons. And we have a dragging out libel case against World Daily. I'm sure he approached us purposely, intending to pull all possible strings before their new paper is launched."

"He is a puppet at the hands of his mother," Swara sighed.

Instinctively her grip on Sunny tightened as if she compared herself with Sahil's mother. The look on her face prompted Sanskar to speak.

"You don't have to tell me about your history with him if you'd rather not Swara. We all have ghosts we'd rather not let out."

"Pyaar karthi thi main." She said suddenly, turning to her Sanskar saw her eyes were shut and her fists clenched. "Sahil se." She looked at him, lips tugging upwards in a mockingly bitter smile.
"You are not the only one who ran away from that wedding Sanskar. Shaayad hum ek doosre ke liye bane hi nahi the..."

The hollow laugh that escaped him caught Sanskar by surprise. Sunny stirred but did not wake up. He had not imagined that. He wondered why. The thought of a wedding where both bride and groom had eloped tickled at some dark sense of humour within him. Perhaps that is why Shankar Bose had not quite met his eye when he said Sanskar owed him for leaving his granddaughter at the mandap.

"I went after him to Hungary - where his mother had packed him off to study. Only to find out he is not interested in me after all. More like - my family, my connections. I've never hated myself more."

They pulled into the designated parking at the Karma Shores and Sanskar opened the door for her. He reached out and picked a sleepy Sunny off her lap to help her disembark.

"Aaram se," he said steadying her with a hand at her elbow. Then he glanced down at Sunny drooling over his shoulder. "I think we'll have to postpone the ice cream programme - the main stakeholder is otherwise occupied."

Swara laughed. Sanskar paused for a moment, watching her and blankly searching his mind for his next words. It was the new hire Ragav who came for his rescue.

"Chairman, sir," he called as he approached and then his eyes shifted to Swara. "Namaste ma'am, I'm really sorry for ruining your family outing."

Swara shook her head, swallowing uncomfortably at the obvious mistake the man was making about her identity but neither of them moved to correct him. Instead Sanskar turned to her.

"I need to go through some accounts with Ragav, it won't take long. Will you wait in the penthouse with Sunny? Uss ko apni nap poora karne dete hain."

Swara nodded her agreement and instead of following Ragav, Sanskar came with her to show the way, all the while carrying Sunny. Ragav went his own way after promising to wait for Sanskar at the office.

Karma Shores was very different from the ornate interior of Nirvana. Everything seemed spacious and modern, whites accented with blues and blacks was the running theme for interiors - there was an understated elegance everywhere at the same time a feeling of homely comfort. While one was stunned and awed with grandeur of Nirvana, Karma had the inviting sense of familiarity.

They took a glass elevator up, with undisturbed view of the sea and shores as it befitted the name laid before them. Sanskar smiled at the look of awe in her face.

"You should see Karma Summits someday," he said off handedly, or Karma Sands - the sunset there is one of a kind."

Swara hummed in assent as they entered the penthouse. He left immediately after they had Sunny settled for his nap. Swara sat by Sunny's side, absentmindedly stroking his hair as she took in her surrounding.

There was hardly anything of personal nature in the penthouse though she knew Sanskar lived here most of the time. There was quite a collection of paintings in the sitting area, landscapes and abstracts - all signed in a bold signature of some KR.

If she was to make a guess Swara imagined they were created by Kavita Roy, that one girl who managed to break apart the foundations of Maheshwari empire.

Only a single painting hang over the bed, an expense of red and gold sunset, colours of fire reflected in sand below - a silhouette of a person, with their shadow stretching far ahead of them stood in the middle of the portrait, with their back to the world and desert stretching before them.

"Bin mohabbat..." inked into the corner of the canvas in an unfamiliar script.

The painting filled her with such longing that it clawed at her throat and pricked in her eyes. Swara inhaled sharply, reaching out to touch the canvas and paused when she heard footsteps.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Sanskar said from behind her. He came in carrying a tablet computer and wearing reading glasses.

"Kavita was talented," Swara commented. She didn't dare ask if every painting of hers had such intense emotions behind them. It seemed a hallowed territory to trespass into, asking him about her. Sanskar raised a brow.

"She was," he said simply. "But that's not her work. You know whose it is of cause - you might have seen it being made too maybe."

She couldn't mask her confusion as quickly as she wanted to. Sanskar must have noted the blank look she gave him but he choose not to comment on that.

"Lakshya," he said pointedly. "Woh painting Lakshya ne bheja tha, sometime before his death. I thought it was a bribe - bachpan se Aisa hai woh - apne baat manwane ke liye he showers people with gifts to get what he want - aap teek hai, Swara?"
The images his words evoked had her head reeling. The hospital, the blood still wet in her hands - the wailing baby Sunny and Lakshya with dead eyes. Bin mohabbat...made sense in a haunting way then, when she thought the shell Lakshya had become, that man standing in the burning sunset surrounded by barren land and never ending nothingness before him.

Swara tried to catch her breath, distantly feeling Sanskar's hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles.

"Aaiye," he said softly. "Sit down," insistently he settled her on a chair, and poured her a glass of water, making sure she grasped it in her shaking hands before letting go.

The concern in his eyes was hard to gaze at, when he knelt before her and searched her face.

"Drink," he insisted.

The water she gulped tore through her parched throat.

"Ab teek ho?" He asked again. "Swara I didn't mean to -"

"It's fine," she said quickly. "I'm fine Sanskar." She had to close her eyes and will herself into calmness. "I'm fine."

Sanskar didn't reply, his gaze was probing now, silently urging her to speak.

"What happened to Lakshya, Swara?" He asked in the end.

"What is it that has you on the edge at all times? That night you said you need to keep Sunny safe. From whom? And why? Are you in danger Swara? Aap katre mein ho? Sunny katre mein hai? Bathaiye humein, tell me -"

"Do you have an aunt Sanskar?"

Her sudden question had him pausing. Swara watched as he processed the question, watched the puzzlement in his expression before he spoke.

"An aunt?"

She proceeded to tell him about the book, about that one particular story - fallen crown. If she had a doubt about his involvement before it dissipated with the dawning bewilderment in his face.

"Somebody," she said in the end. "Wanted us to know. Somebody wants us to be scared. The glass princess will return to the wedding of princess Unique -"

"Uttara," they both said at once.

"Tara is getting married?" Sanskar inquired in surprise. "Kiss se?"

Swara shook her head.

"She's still in Australia, final year - but I don't know Sanskar, that story had gotten so many details right - such details that no outsider could possibly know. Such details that you yourself don't know!"

"I will look into this," Sanskar promised her automatically. "If Tara is not here, even if the book is a veiled threat we do have time."

Both their mobiles began to ring almost simultaneously. Sanskar looked at her, gestured her to pick up the call and moved to answer his own.

The bristling tone of Annapurna Maheshwari poured from Swara's phone.

"Bahu?" She said. "Where are you? Where is Shantanu?"

"Kya Hua maaji?" Swara questioned in turn.

"Tara has gone missing, kissi ko nahi patha kahaan hai woh -"

"Tara has gone missing mathlab -" Swara allowed her voice to trail off as she caught Sanskar's eye. He too had paused in his conversation and was looking at her.

"Tara's gone," she mouthed.

He nodded.

"I know where -" he mouthed back.

**