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33 | Everything I Have

Thalia might as well just jump off the gondola, like, straight into the arms of nature. Going back to dust, as the Bible puts it, can be her express ticket. Picture this - bears having a feast, wolves playing a brutal game of skin-ripping from the bones. Okay, morbid, but strangely not the worst exit plan. Surprisingly, the gore doesn't freak her out as much as being stuck in this cramped space with Miguel.

Hold up. That's overdramatic. But her emotions are all over the place, which is very new to her. How does this guy manage to unravel her with just a little action under the sheets? Isn't sex supposed to be just for pleasure? I mean, she has feelings for him, for sure, but it shouldn't affect her this much. It's exactly why she's often brought it up, provoking him endlessly.

"Thalia," he says, snapping his fingers in front of her to get her attention, brows meeting. "Are you alright?"

"Of course, I am!" she responds, her voice coming out squeaky.

Her emotions cannot override her rationality. She has to pull herself together. Somehow. Breathe in, breathe out. She's smarter and more refined than this!

"I am not thinking about that," Thalia hisses. "Why would I? I can't even recall what went down."

Miguel laughs, crossing his legs, his thick Dua Lipa eyebrows wiggling up and down. His amusement earns him a laser stare from Thalia.

"What's so funny?" she demands, sending him a look that can freeze hell over.

"What happened to you? You used to be a pro at this lying game," he remarks, casually dropping truth bombs. "Chill, Thalia."

"I am chill! I mean, totally..."

"Well, it's all good now," Miguel mumbles, looking outside as they increasingly ascend to higher altitudes. "You've compensated me for all the stress these past few days, and I'm pretty sure you enjoyed yourself–"

Thalia winces, cutting him off, "Do you think I've been living my best life? News flash, I've been stressed, too." Struggling to contain it, the ache weaves its way into her words. "Besides, isn't it you who wants me gone?"

Any hint of amusement vanishes from Miguel's face, and he says ruefully, "And aren't you the one who's always wanted to leave?"

It's true. From the very moment she has set foot in Edmonton, the thought of catching the first flight back home has been on constant replay. How can it not? Her family, her roots, everything she's ever known resides there. Sure, she might not be leaving behind a squad of friends, but she's built her life and dreams around that place. There, her skin color and cultural quirks aren't a spectacle; they're just part of the norm. No room for racial stereotypes or bias.

And it's infuriating how she can picture herself tossing it all aside just to be with this clueless guy in front of her.

She scowls. "Did you hear me say that? Did I say I wanted to go?"

"Yes, you did. When we were talking about the contract. And you don't have to always put it into words, Thalia," he retorts sardonically, his eyes lowered down to his feet. "I had a fill of your whining."

"Then I offer my sincere apologies," she mutters, giving a partial bow with a touch of mock curtsy.

Miguel grunts. "I am not complaining. I'm just saying that I listened to you, okay?"

"Riiiiiight."

How much longer until this infernal contraption gets them to the top? She'll happily trade the scenic view just to avoid looking at Miguel's face. The initial heat of desire has dissipated into thin air, leaving behind only a cloud of murderous intent.

Miguel shifts his gaze to the outside world. Even the supposedly breathtaking view fails to set the right ambiance for figuring things out.

"Thalia, we need to set things straight. You and I both know that we have things to talk about."

"What else is there to discuss?" she replies. "We slept together to scratch our itch. Deal with unfinished business."

"Unfinished business?" he repeats. "Do you mean that?"

Thalia's bottom lip is captured by her teeth. "Does it matter? I'm leaving."

Miguel feels his heart shatter, pain seeping through every fiber, draining him dry. Swallowing hard, he manages, "So, you've made your decision."

"I'm going where I'm wanted," she whispers. "Simple as that. So, save yourself the trouble. No need to chase me away."

"I'm not chasing you away. That isn't my intention. Until now, you still misinterpret me."

Thalia laughs without mirth. "No, I do not. I used to, yeah, but this time I'm hearing you loud and clear."

A scene flashes back in her mind like a reel on repeat. When Miguel told her he wanted to call it quits. It was her fault for keeping it from him, for fooling herself into believing that she could figure it out by herself, but how could he just suggest breaking up like what they had for the past few months meant nothing? How could he say their relationship isn't even real when it's the only thing keeping her together?

Where does that leave her?

She has persuaded herself, night and day, that he'd only been anxious. Because the same thing has happened to him before.

But it isn't the case. Miguel hadn't simply opened the door; he'd shoved her out.

Thalia purses her lips. "I don't want to go through this cycle again and again. I get it. I've made you feel like you're a second choice. That isn't fair of me." She places her hands on her lap as if forcing them to stay still. "You're right. Maybe this is the decision that'll make my life less pitiful."

Words elude Miguel as Thalia's confirmation, her planned departure settles in.

The gondola grinds to a halt, and as soon as the door swings open, Thalia steps out without waiting for him.

He watches her retreating figure, gradually fading from his view, a sharp pang seizing his chest, suffocating him. Killing him.

Is this really the end? Is he really letting Thalia slip away?

It can't be.

Miguel races after her, almost breaking into a run.

Thalia shoots Miguel a surprised sidelong glance. Determined to brush him off, she quickens her pace, navigating the staircases on the walking platform and aiming for the summit of Sulphur Mountain. Their companions are once again ahead, creating distance. Seeking the solace of the group seems imperative.

Miguel, with his slightly longer strides, closes the gap.

Breathing heavily, Thalia gasps, "What are you doing? Just leave me alone."

"I won't," he declares firmly.

She huffs. What on Earth does he want? She doesn't need to hear Miguel saying that flying home will make her happy and that it's for her sake.

"You're so annoying!"

"You're more annoying!"

"Then go away!" she orders angrily.

"I can't," he replies. When he notices fewer people around, he clutches Thalia's arm and stops her.

"What?" she fumes.

"Are you... Are you really going back?"

Thalia's foot taps impatiently, her tongue clicking in disbelief. Surely, he can't be serious. "I don't understand you. I asked you for some time, and you refused to give it to me. You decided what's best for me. As if you know everything."

"Thalia, I—"

"I needed to think, Miguel. My entire future was on the line. And this whole marriage agreement, didn't you suggest it to rescue me from my miserable life?"

"I understand that Thalia, that's why I... I wanted to make it easy for you–"

"But you didn't make it easy!" she interrupts. "I know it wasn't right to make you feel like a backup plan. Because you... You were and are not a backup plan. I'm sorry... But I just couldn't drop everything like that. I needed time. Just time to sort my feelings out." Thalia's hair sways in the gentle breeze, and shivers course through her. She seethes, "And you know what frustrates me the most? As soon as it got difficult, you pushed me away."

Miguel twitches involuntarily. Thalia has launched another word missile, and once more, he's struggling to absorb the words hurled his way.

"Thalia—"

"What—"

"For the love of God, give me a chance to speak."

Startled, Thalia's eyes enlarge, and she unwillingly shuts her mouth.

"I'm sorry," he begins, struggling to find the right words to say but also desperate to ensure that Thalia won't cut him off before he's done. It is now or never. "I couldn't bear it. I couldn't just sit around and wait. I was terrified that no matter what I did, you wouldn't choose me in the end."

"Why do you think so little of my feelings for you, Miguel?" she scoffs, her disbelief evident. "I've never been amazing at showing it. Unlike you. But I..."

A poignant pause follows, the rustle of leaves filling the temporary void as if nature itself is holding its breath for what's coming next.

Thalia, swallowing her pride, realizes that playing mind games is no longer an option. "I love you, Miguel," she declares with unwavering conviction. "I do."

Miguel feels a whirlwind stirring in his chest and he fumbles, leaning on the wooden railing. Thankfully, there's no audience around, or they might mistake this for a dramatic soap opera moment.

"From the... From the moment I offered to marry you, you've gotten me wrapped around your finger. It's fast, and it's scary, but it's true. And I... I don't want to take your future away from you. To be the one holding you back. Because there's nothing I want more than to see you succeed. So please, tell me. Tell me if I'm doing the right thing. Because I'm not sure anymore," Miguel pleads, every word he spills feeling like a chunk out of his own heart. "I'll be alright, but I need you to straight up tell me if letting you go is what's going to make you happy. Please, think about yourself. For once. Think about yourself."

"But Miguel..." Thalia's stomach turns into a buzzing butterfly garden, with fluttering wings and all. "When I think of myself, I also think of you."

He lifts his head reluctantly. "Then is it okay, Thalia? Is it okay to tell you to give up everything for me? To not return to your family, to the future you've always dreamed of? I don't want to see you cry again. If you stay here, it won't be easy. But all I can promise is that you won't face anything alone." His voice tremors, a strained smile forming on his quivering lips.

Tears shimmer at the edges of Thalia's eyes, yet no sound escapes her as flashes of potential tomorrows play out in her mind. A future with Miguel here, the man he loves, where her dreams seem far fetched, contrasts with a future without him, where she envisions achieving all that she's ever wanted. A future with Aly and her Mom.

With a firm hold on her hand, their fingers interlocking, Miguel lays bare his true feelings. Feelings that he's never harbored for anyone else but Thalia.

He cannot lose her. This time, he can't not try to keep her.

"If you think I'm worth it, if you think that life is already in the past, then... Here I am. I am offering myself to you. Everything I have. I want you by my side. I want you to marry me. Not because of the agreement. Thalia, I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave."

******

A/N: Okay, okay, how are the stans feeling now? Where do you think they'll go from here?

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