"You have changed a lot, Zia."

Zia looked up from the notes she was taking and smiled with Lily. She was in her office and Lily had come in to meet her, now that Zia was not going to her apartment, except for a shower or a change of clothes.

"You have been living in this hospital for too long now." Lily pushed her hair out of her eyes and leaned back on the window, staring at the view out of it. Zia sighed but did not reply.

"Why are you here, Lily?" she asked.

Lily turned towards her and leaned her head to the side. She stared at Zia, as though she was wondering what to think of her.

"I never knew you will be like this, Zia." Lily said. She walked towards the table and pulled the chair for patients behind and sat on it.

Zia sighed heavily. She leaned her head on her hands and pushed her hair back.

"What are you asking me to do Lily?" she asked. Lily shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know Zia, maybe you have to take a break." She lifted her shoulders up, as though indicating that it was the most obvious thing to be done.

"A break from what? Looking after him?" Zia leaned her head on her shoulder and looked at Lily. She stared at her hands on her lap and nodded, not meeting her eyes.

Zia sighed. "You know I can't do that Lily." Zia took a hairband from out of her pocket and tied her hair into a ponytail.

"Why Zia? Even his sister is not there for him." Lily leaned towards the table and tied her hands in front of her.

Zia looked up at her. "I love him Lily, and it is the least I could do for the man I love." She replied on a final note and took her coat from behind her chair.

"You were not like this when you were dating Zack." Lily hissed angrily as she followed Zia's actions. Zia froze. She slowly turned towards Lily as her mind wavered back to the fateful night where everything went wrong.

"Don't bring up him now, Lily." Zia bit her lips as angry tears shone in her eyes. "If it was not for him, I would have had a better moment with Vian." She said, as her tears threatened to jump out of her eyes. She knew that it was not Zack who brought Vian into such a state, but there had been a constant voice on the back of her head, nagging her saying that if Zack had not showed up that evening, everything would have ended well, and fatefully it might not even have put Vian on an aircraft which was to be crashed.

"You are unbelievable Zia." Lily banged her hand onto her forehead.

Zia chuckled. "I know Lily, I know." She pushed her hair back and blinked fast as tears blotted her view.

"It's been six months Lily. And I've just known him only for a month. Its six months since he is in coma and though his condition is not worsening, it's not getting better either. And do you know what the worst part is of being a doctor?" she asked turning towards Lily. She shook her head, wondering what her answer would be.

Zia chuckled. "Knowing that things can only turn worse and not better. I have been waiting so long for him to wake up, and I don't even know when he will wake up. But what if everything changes after he wakes up Lily? What am I supposed to do then?" she looked at Lily as her words stuttered and her voice trembled.

"I am so sorry Zia," Lily stood up and put her arms around her. She gently patted her on her shoulders as Zia hiccupped and sobbed on her shoulder. "I never knew what you were going through darling." Lily whispered as Zia nodded and bit her lips, trying to control her tears.

"I am so sorry." Lily whispered once more. Zia wiped her eyes and gently pushed Lily back.

"I have to go now, Lily." She pulled her sleeve across her nose. "I have to go to the rounds in the ward." Lily nodded and released her.

"If you need anything, just give me a call Zia. And try to take a break then and now." She held her hands tightly in hers as Zia nodded.

"Thank you for everything." She pulled up a tight lipped smile and nodded at Lily. She took her bag onto her shoulders and walked towards the door with Zia. Zia hugged her once more at the door to the ward and stared at her back as Lily walked towards the elevators.

Zia sighed and she put her stethoscope around her neck and went inside the ward.

"How are you now Ben?" Zia checked the little boy's vitals as he stared out of the window. He neither replied nor turned towards Zia, until she finished his checkup.

"Ben, are you alright?" Zia placed her hand over the boy's bandaged leg and sat beside him on the bed. "Why are you so silent today?" she asked. Ben was admitted to the ward after a bad accident which ended him up in having a prosthetic leg. Even though it had been about a week since Zia had performed the surgery, she had not let the boy get discharged for she had known that he needs to be under constant care until he will finally be alright.

Ben turned towards her. She noticed that he was not wearing his glasses and that there were tears on his eyes.

"Why are you feeling down today, darling?" Zia whispered kindly, making sure that no one else was listening onto their conversation. Ben did not reply, instead he shook his head. Even though he remained silent, Zia was able to guess what might have gone through the poor boy's mind. She had not known him long, only since he had been admitted to the hospital with blood gushing through his broken leg, but ever since then she had bonded well with the boy. It was as though that she was seeing herself in him and that something about his presence had brought a sense of calmness into her mind.

"Won't you talk to me at all today, Ben?" Zia asked once more, as Ben stared at her.

"Can I go home?" he finally asked, and Zia sighed as she looked down at the clipboard on her lap.

"You have to take some more tests Ben, and you have to go through some exercises as well." She smiled at him, trying to sound cheerful, even though she knew that what she was saying was devastating to hear.

Ben nodded. "Okay," he said dejectedly and turned towards the window once more. Zia sighed. She patted his leg and looked at him.

"I'll come back to you later Ben, try to relax your mind and get some sleep." She gently stroked his hair and waited until he nodded. He nodded after some time and Zia smiled as she turned towards her next patient.

It took longer than usual for Zia to finish her evening rounds. She completed filling all of her notes and handed it over to her director before she leaned back heavily on her chair in the office. Zia craned her neck trying to remove the numb feeling from her body and leaned her head on the table. She had not even eaten lunch yet, but her stomach was feeling empty. She did not have any appetite and decided that it would be better if she went towards the private ward, instead of wasting time in her office.

Zia placed her stethoscope in her office and put her doctor's coat on her shoulders. She locked her door carefully behind her and smiled at Martha as she went towards the elevator. She hummed a music for herself and stared at the numbers on the elevator as it pinged onto her destination. The floor of the private ward was completely silent as she stepped into it. There were only a handful of patients in the private ward, and she stepped towards the room on the far corner of the floor.

With her heart beating loud, as it usually does whenever she goes towards Vian, Zia gently pushed open the door. She had just changed his clothes for him that morning and he looked still the same, as still as a stone, while only the heart beat monitor pulsing out his heart beat indicated the only confirmation that he was still alive.

Zia felt her breath constrict on her throat as she leaned on the doorframe and stared at Vian. She did not know how he was feeling and wondered whether he was feeling lonely, being unable to converse with anyone, and not even being able to wake up. She wondered whether he could hear everything that was happening around him, (though she did not want to receive any medical explanation as a doctor, and she just needs some comfort as his girlfriend). She knew that there was actually no point in being around him, not that he was able to even understand that she was even there. She was actually the only visitor he had, as his sister and his niece used to visit him once every two weeks.

Zia shook her head, and she hung her coat on the coat hanger and went towards Vian's bed. She pulled the chair closer towards him and sat on it, staring into his still face.

"Hey Vian," she said, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "It's me, Zia here." She did not know why, but she always introduced herself to him whenever she paid him a visit.

"My day was too long today." Zia sighed. She gently stroked Vian's hair. His bandages were all removed now, and he looked just as he had been looking six months ago. "Ben is feeling down today, poor boy." She sighed remembering him. "I don't know whether you remember him or can even hear me." She shrugged her shoulders as her tears threatened to fall out of her eyes.

"I miss you, Vian." She bit her lips and took his hand in hers. "Please wake up for me. I miss us, I miss the old us, Vian." She hiccoughed and pressed his fingers onto her lips. "Maybe I am the one to be blamed for whatever had happened that day. If things were going alright, I doubt that you might have gone to your duty because I for sure, would not have let you leave me so soon, Vian." Zia mumbled, as she pressed her cheek onto his knuckles, staring at him.

"Life is harder without you, Vian." She whispered looking down. Her eyes fell on the chain around her neck and her eyes burned behind her lids once more. She had remembered how things were when he had given her the chain. She had not removed it from around her neck at least once after his condition. It had been a constant reminder for her that things will turn out alright, for she herself had known how things had gone up and down during the few days that she had received the chain.

"Please come back to me, Vian. Please come back. I am waiting for you." Zia pressed her lips on his knuckles as she tried to hide her tears and she leaned her forehead on his arm. She leaned down on the bed and pressed her cheek on the bed, holding onto his fingers and staring at his face. Her tears flowed freely down along her cheeks, as she rested her head on her arm and stared at him. She wondered whether that will be the whole of her future. She had always wanted to have a happy ending, and she wondered whether she will live forever thinking and dreaming about him, while he remained on the bed, motionless. Zia blinked harder as her thoughts rushed undisturbed to her mind. She knew that her mind was not making things easy for her, for she was getting more negative thoughts as days moved on. She wanted to believe that Vian will come back, but she wondered whether that believe will only be a belief and that he will never wake up, as she had wanted to.

"I want to spend my entire life with you Vian," Zia mumbled once more. "Please come back. I love you and I am waiting for you."

Zia closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as she imagined him waking up. She knew that she will be more than ecstatic when that happens and she prayed to God, hoping that that day should come soon.

Zia turned her head towards her front and pressed her lips on to his fingers before she turned towards him once more.

"I love you..."

Zia smiled alone as she stroked his head and gently touched his cheeks. The warmth on his fingers and cheeks had been soothing for her for she knew that they were not cold, which would mean the end of her life if they were cold.

Zia knew that she will have different aches from all over her body as she wakes up the next day, but she did not even move a muscle as she gripped onto his fingers and closed her eyes. She was too tired, as she had been spending all of her waking moments taking care of one person or another. Even though she had not known, she was feeling exhausted. Taking care of Vian had been her main purpose for all of the months she was imprisoned in his ward, but she did not worry about it, because she knew that he would do the same for her, whatever the time or the situation may be.

*

Zia did not know how long time had passed, but she woke up suddenly as though someone had patted her on the shoulder. She sat up straight and rubbed her eyes as her vision adjusted to the dim light that was flowing from the lamp on the side of Vian's bed. Zia rubbed her forehead and wondered what had woken her up. She stared at Vian, trying to see whether there were any changes, but she found that there were none, as he lay as motionless as he had been.

Zia shook her head. She knew that she might have imagined things. She looked at the time and saw that it was nearly midnight. She yawned widely and gripped Vian's fingers tightly before she laid her head down on the bed once more. She closed her eyes and wished for sleep to come sooner towards her when she felt a single tap on her fingers.

Zia knew that she was dreaming. She straightened up soon and looked at Vian. His face looked undisturbed, and she slowly turned her head towards their knotted fingers. Zia gasped as tears of happiness sprang onto her eyes. She kept on staring at their fingers, willing God to show what He had already shown him once, when Vian's finger shook once more. For the first time in months, Zia felt alive. She gripped Vian's hand more tightly when she felt his fingers moving here and there. Zia knew that he was alright now. He was about to wake up from his coma and she knew that the God had finally answered her prayers.

Even though there were not any changes in Vian at the moment, Zia still pressed on the emergency alert button on the head rest of his bed and waited until someone came in.

"I think he's about to wake up now."

Zia said hurriedly as she heard the door open. The young nurse who came in stared at Vian with her eyes big and nodded looking at Zia.

"I'll inform the doctor soon, Doctor Zia." She replied and hurried out of the ward as Zia nodded.

Zia turned toward Vian once more. She did not want to pat his cheek or try to wake him up now, for she knew that the doctors wanted to see him first. She pressed her lips onto his knuckles as she sat beside him on the bed and waited for the doctors to come.

"What happened, Doctor Zia?"

Zia stood up, still not letting go of Vian's hand and turned towards the doctor. The old man was looking at Zia waiting for her reply.

"His fingers shook now, doctor." Zia pushed her glasses up along her nose as she replied looking at the doctor. She saw a hint of a smile go on the old man's lips and saw him nod.

"Can we check him now then, please?" the doctor asked kindly when Zia nodded and she removed Vian's fingers from hers, even though she did not want to do that, and went out of the ward, letting the doctors check on him.

Zia leaned her head against the wall and stood outside the ward until the doctors checked in on Vian. It took longer than usual, and Zia felt her heart beat race as she waited impatiently out of the ward.

Time ticked on slowly as Zia wiped the sweat from around her face. She felt as though her heart was trying to jump out of its ribcage. She did not know why the doctors were taking so long to come out of the ward. She checked her watch every five minutes or so and finally decided to check for herself. She placed her hand on the lock and tried to open it when it opened from inside.

"Oh!"

Zia gasped as the chief doctor opened the door. She looked afraid at the doctor and finally let out the breath that she had not known that she was holding for so long when the doctor smiled with her.

"Doctor how is he?" she asked, trying to peep her head inside and look at Vian's condition for herself. She looked at the doctor and saw that he was smiling.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" he asked, and moved to the side, letting her come inside.

With her heart beating louder in her chest, Zia stepped inside the ward. She saw that the nurse was checking on his vitals and Zia bit her lips as she slowly stepped inside.

Zia's breath hitched on her throat as her eyes finally fell on Vian. She felt blood rush through her veins, and it felt for her as though she was looking at Vian for the first time. She felt her eyes burn behind her eyelids and found herself falling in love with Vian once more, as she saw that he was finally awake and was looking at the nurse who was changing his IV fluid.

Zia had been waiting for this moment for so long. She had been waiting for him to wake up, day by day, and had had many things that she had thought of saying to him once he wakes up. But now, looking at him once he had woken up, Zia found herself speechless. She did not know what to say as she looked at Vian. She felt her fingers start to tremble and she took a deep breath as she stepped closer towards him.

Zia did not take a next step. She stopped where she was as she saw that Vian was turning towards her. She waited, giving him time to look at her. She found her lips pulling up on a shy smile as Vian turned towards her, and her eyes finally fell on his blue ones.

Zia froze. She had seen those eyes more times than she had known and in all of those times, Zia had seen how those eyes had looked at her. In all of those occasions that he had looked at her, his eyes had flowed with love. But that day, when Zia found his eyes looking at her, she knew that there was something missing.

"Oh, are you also here to give me another injection, doctor?"

What? What? WHAT?

Zia had thought that she had known what it felt to be heart broken. Her eyes started to burn behind her eyelids, but tears did not form in her eyes anymore. She knew that her tears were spend too much on the man she had loved, and when she was looking at him once more, she knew that there was just a void in the place where her heart had been, for she found him looking at her, as though he did not recognize her.

"Aren't you going to give me another injection, doctor?"

Vian asked once more. Zia bit her lips, and she looked up slowly at him. She felt her lips tremble, as her fears of a long time started to creep up her body once more. She knew that all was over. She knew that there was no point in her life anymore. She knew that there was nothing that she could do now, which would help her take things where once they were.

"Are you alright?"

Zia looked up at Vian as he asked her once more. She saw that they were the only ones in the ward, and she bit her lips and shook her head to the sides. She saw the concern that was clouding his eyes and even though she knew that she was hoping for too much, she wondered whether she was able to see a hint of love in his eyes, when he looked at her.

"Why are you crying?"

Zia chuckled and she pulled her sleeve across her nose.

"How are you feeling now?"

Zia asked and looked up at Vian. Vian shrugged his shoulders.

"I am feeling okay right now. But I don't know what happened to me." He spoke.

Zia gulped the sadness that came up her throat. He can't remember. He couldn't remember.

"Were you also part of my specialists, doctor -?" Vian asked, raising his eyebrows, and his eyes going towards the place where Zia's name tag will be on the coat, which was now folded on her arms.

Zia shook her head. She knew that her heart was beating too fast as she felt her world shatter around her. She knew that there was no point in being with Vian now. She did not want to be there anymore. She wanted to be alone. She felt as though she needed to hide herself from him. She felt her eyes moisten and she looked up at Vian once more. She saw that he was looking out of the window, as though he did not care that she was there in his ward. As though he did not care that she was there for him. As though he did not care that she was there, had been there for him.

Zia felt the world start to rotate faster around her feet, and at that moment, she knew that she will never be able to control herself, if she remained in that ward for a second too long. Before she did something stupid that she will regret for all of her life, Zia gulped for air and turned behind, as she ran out of the room.

Zia ran and ran and ran, until she did not know how many floors, she had maintained between himself and her. She did not know why God was trying to hurt her more and more, as she realized that he had just woken up to give her happiness, but had just pulled it out of her, when she had been wanting to spend her entire life with him.

*

"Doctor, please tell me what had happened to him?"

Zia wiped her eyes as she placed her hands on the sides of the table and leaned down towards the doctor. She pulled her nose up and looked at the doctor, as her eyes burned red. Zia stared impatiently at the doctor as he slowly closed the pen in front of him. It was early in the morning and Zia had found herself barging into the doctor's office after she had pulled herself together.

"Please tell me, doctor." Zia whispered in a begging voice as the doctor looked up slowly at her.

"We don't exactly know, Doctor Zia. But sometimes things like this can happen." The doctor replied, after a long time. Zia scrunched up her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" she asked. The doctor looked up at her.

"I don't want to explain the medical terms for you, Zia. You know it already. Sometimes when the patient had gone through any critical situation, there will be parts of the patients mind which will try to make him forget it. Sometimes the period which his mind had selected to forget might be too long." The doctor sighed as he looked down at his notes, not meeting Zia's eyes.

"So, how much had he forgotten now?" Zia whispered her question, even though she was able to guess his answer, even before he had decided to let her know of it.

"I think he had forgotten about a month of things that had happened to him before his accident, Zia." The doctor said slowly. "He was able to remember everything up to that moment, before he had started his leave."

"So, so, so –" Zia tried to take a deep breath and closed her eyes before she asked her question. "So does it mean that he doesn't have any memory of me?"

Zia looked at the doctor, her eyes large in fear. She knew that she will never be the same, as she stared determinedly at the doctor. She wanted to shake the old man by holding onto his collar and wanted to scream at him, asking him to not to dawdle anymore on answering her. As though she was standing on a bare land, where it was thundering and lightening for hundreds and thousands of Watts and that she was feeling electrocuted, as she felt her heart being squeezed from out of all of her blood, as though she was feeling that there was no point in living anymore, she waited and waited and waited, until the doctor finally looked up at her and slowly shook his head.

That was all Zia knew, before the world completely collapsed in front of her eyes and she fell heavily on to the floor, unconscious.