"What are you doing?" Stiles chuckled as he rolled over in my bed, he propped his head up on his hands and smiled as he watched me scroll through an article on my phone. I let out a sigh, "Trying to find something helpful on here about Admonere's. It's like we don't even exist, there's hardly anything online."

"Well, Deaton did say that you are rare." he responded evenly.

Without thinking I exited the article and tossed my phone on the floor, "I'm so aggravated."

"Come here," Stiles said as he opened his arms up. I quickly slid in between them and laid my head on his chest. His right arm looped around my shoulder and his left was on my waist. I always felt safe whenever he held me like this, like nothing could possibly go wrong because this was the safest place on earth.

I let out a groan, "I'm about to give up hope on finding anything remotely helpful online. I've been doing research for over a year now, and the most I got was a paragraph about psychics that was remotely similar to my abilities."

"I'm sorry, Kase. Maybe you should ask Deaton if he has like, a book or something. I mean there's the Bestiary... did you ever look in there?" he asked as he pressed his lips to my forehead.

I nodded, "Allison and I looked one night. There's nothing."

"Well, I'm sure there is another Admonere out there somewhere... so there's got to be answers." he responded softly, his voice showing signs of him getting sleepy.

I was silent as I let him drift off into sleep, not wanting to bother him with my aggravation. I know there has to be answers somewhere, it's just a matter of where the answers may be. I'm sure Stiles will help me look, when he's not sleeping of course. I blinked a few times before settling in closer to him and closing my eyes. Sleeping with him was the definition of perfection.

I jolted upright in my bed as my dream came to an abrupt end. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest wildly. The vividness of my dreams is both a blessing and a curse. They feel so real that when I wake up I'm consumed with panic because I'm not in the situation that I had just been in. Granted, I wouldn't be in that situation anyway because I haven't spoken to Stiles since the Peter incident. I haven't been able to get a hold of Malia, either.

My throat was dry and I was sticky from the sweat on my forehead. I threw my covers off onto the floor and climbed out of bed. The house was eerily silent, and I managed to sneak downstairs without making a sound. Thankfully, someone had left the kitchen light on and I was able to get in without knocking anything over.

I could see a bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on top of the refrigerator and I contemplated on snatching it and taking a swig or two, but then I remembered what happened the last time I did that. I don't want to possibly end up calling Stiles and giving him a green light into my life so soon. So, instead I settled on a can of Mountain Dew out of the fridge. The time on the microwave indicated that it was 2:37 a.m. and I was slightly irritated that I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon.

I didn't have much of anything to do other than to sit on the couch and turn on the television. Nothing remotely interesting was on, so I just mindlessly watched the infomercials. Every bone in my body was telling me to call Stiles, but I can't. I just can't. And don't even get me started on Scott.

At least I can separate myself from Stiles, I live with Scott. I'm just as angry, if not more, with Scott than I am with Stiles. I can understand Stiles lying to me about Malia, because he understands how much I hate Peter... but Scott, he should've known that I would have been able to handle the news a hell of a lot better than they both were giving me credit for. Plus, I'm not the only one who hates Peter, Stiles hates him almost as much as I do, and he handled it perfectly fine with Malia.

I'm just tired.

I'm tired of the lies and betrayal. I'm tired of not being able to be a normal teenage girl. I'm tired of dealing with things that I shouldn't have to deal with. I'm just tired. I'm the definition of emotionally exhausted, and there never seems to be enough time for me to rest up. I'm stuck in this state and eventually it's gonna end up breaking me to the point of no return.

The floorboards in the kitchen creaked and I jumped slightly when I caught sight of Scott creeping into the kitchen. He turned to look at me and we both were silent. I grabbed my can and stood from the couch, exiting the room without so much as another glance in his direction. I could hear him sigh from upstairs, and I didn't feel any remorse as I slammed my door shut and twisted the lock.

▴▵▴

I was sitting outside on my porch. It was six in the morning and I knew that my dad was going to be leaving for San Francisco soon. When he shot and killed Simon, he had to do some kind of report and now he has to go back to Home Base. I haven't spoken to him since it happened, but I was planning on doing it now. I can't keep shutting him out, not when he is clearly trying to be in my life and making a constant effort.

The front door squeaked open and I turned around to see him walking out with a duffle bag. He quirked an eyebrow as he came out and sat down beside me, "Not that I don't enjoy the sendoff, but what're you doing awake?"

"I had a bad dream, couldn't fall back asleep." I shrugged as I focussed on the concrete of the walkway.

He sighed, "The nightmares back? Are you sleepwalking again?"

"No, it wasn't like that. Stiles and Scott lied to me, and it was a pretty big lie, and I just found out about it last night and I don't know if Stiles and I are even together at this point. I haven't talked to him." I sighed, my chest burning at just the thought of Stiles and I no longer being together. I don't want that.

My father was taken aback with the information, "Do you want to break up with him?"

"No." I stated evenly.

He nodded, "Then you're gonna have to work it out. I know talking about things isn't exactly your strong suit, but sweetheart, you have to learn to do it at some point."

I glanced at him, "I hate having feelings... like emotions just drain me. I feel too much, sometimes, and I just don't know how to deal with it."

"I'm sorry kiddo, but you get that from me. It's called empathy and it sucks." he responded, a faint smile forming on his lips.

The morning air was cold and it was really quiet outside. It was peaceful. It was calm. It was everything that I wanted to be and more. If my mind was this quiet all the time, I think I would be able to function so much better. I'm constantly hearing and seeing things that my ability is forcing me to experience and half the time I don't want to do it, I'm just a victim of circumstance with it.

"How do you deal with it? The bad part, I mean." I asked hesitantly.

He chuckled, "You compartmentalize. I used to do it by drinking."

My opinion on my father as a parent changed right in front of me. I always thought he was just a deadbeat alcoholic who was unhappy in his marriage. When all along, he's just like me... well sort-of. He feels too much. And you can't turn emotions off, so he escaped with alcohol. His job probably has put him in some pretty dark places and the only way he felt he could handle the pain, was with alcohol.

"I used to handle it by hurting myself," I admitted softly.

His eyes widened considerably, "Kasey--"

"I know it's not the answer, you can save me the self-help speech. I don't do it anymore. I get why you did what you did, and I'm sorry for not giving you a second chance." I said slowly, attempting to gauge his reaction.

He was silent for a moment before he smiled, "It's okay. I'm here now, and I want you to know that I'm doing everything in my power to have a relationship with you and your brother."

"I believe you,"

"Good," he chuckled as he stood from the step, "and don't be so hard on Stiles. I may not be his biggest fan, but he loves you, Kasey, and that kind of love is hard to find these days. He made a mistake, everyone does, but he deserves another chance."

He was right. As much as I hate to admit it, my father was actually right. Stiles does deserve a second chance, the question is... will he give me a second chance after the whole Derek kiss thing?

▴▵▴

My mom was working the night shift and I hadn't spoken to Scott or Stiles all day. I had decided to busy myself by going out and getting some clothes shopping done. My wardrobe was in a serious need of an upgrade, plus I had nothing better to do. Lydia has been ignoring my texts all day and Malia just went MIA on me, even though I did nothing wrong to her.

As I grabbed my shopping bags out of the car, I glanced at the house, Scott's bedroom light was on, I could see it through his window. Well, this might just be the perfect time to walk to him. I tightened my grip on the bags and made my way to the front door. Clothes are heavy, thankfully I have the werewolf strength now to hold them up. Honestly, if Lydia had this kind of strength she would more than likely buy the whole damn store.

I awkwardly unlocked the front door and stepped into the house, it was eerily silent. I sat my bags down on the floor beside the living room entrance and peeked into the kitchen, nobody was there. My house is never this quiet. There isn't a television or radio on, no water is running, I don't hear anything. I turned on my heel and made my way to the stairs, but I stopped as all of a sudden the house was filled with sound and chaos.

Liam and Kira were supporting a limp Scott as they ran down the stairs with him. My eyes widened as they both started screaming things at me. My head was spinning and all I could do was look at Scott, what the hell is wrong with him? Why isn't he moving? Why are his eyes closed? What the hell happened upstairs?

"Kasey, call 911, he's not breathing." Kira demanded as her and Liam laid Scott's body on the ground.

I gasped, "What do you mean he's not breathing?!"

"Just call 911!" Liam shouted.

My hands were shaking as I snatched my phone out of back pocket and dialed 911. "911, what's your emergency?" a female voice echoed on the other end of the line.

I let out a shaky breath as I dropped to my knees beside Scott, "Hi, my names Kasey McCall and my brother's not breathing and I don't know what to do."

"Okay, Kasey, calm down. Are you sure he's not breathing? Was he eating before he collapsed? Is he diabetic? Does he have high or low blood pressure?" she was firing all of these questions at me and I just wanted to scream and tell her that he's a werewolf and none of that shit matters, but I can't.

There isn't a supernatural 911 to call, other than Deaton... but I don't have his number and maybe he just needs to get shocked a few times with a defibrillator. I checked for a pulse and there wasn't one. Oh my god, what am I supposed to say to her?

"Please, send an ambulance. His heart isn't beating." I rushed out as I dropped the phone to the floor and attempted to do some chest compressions. All of the lessons on CPR I received in health class were slipping my mind and I didn't know what to do. I was trying to think if we had an emergency epipen anywhere in the house, but I don't think we do.

Kira snatched my wrists up and away from Scott, "I already did that, it won't work!"

I could hear the lady on the phone yelling for me, but I couldn't find it within myself to pick it back up. I was shaking as I grabbed a hold of Scott and pulled his head onto my lap, "Come on, Scott. Wake up, please wake up."

My eyes were welling with tears because Scott was obviously dead and I don't know how to get his heart to start beating again. Maybe they can do something in the ambulance. If they would ever get here! My throat felt like it was swollen shut as I began to cry hysterically. I don't know how long I had been sitting on the floor with Scott crying before several EMT's kicked the door in. I started screaming even louder as one of them grabbed a hold of me and pulled me away from him.

"No! Stop, you don't understand! I can't leave him, please! SCOTT!"

The EMT struggled to hold me still, "Ma'am calm down. You may ride with him in the ambulance but I need you to calm down."

"Kasey, we'll meet you at the hospital." Kira said as I was led out of the house.

I didn't have the chance to attempt to calm down before they were wheeling him off on a stretcher and I was running beside him. I grasped his hand and held onto it as tightly as I could. When we were in the ambulance I could hear the EKG beeping slightly, which means he had a low pulse. He was still alive. Oh, thank God.

"Can you tell me what happened?" one of the EMT's asked me.

I sniffled and wiped at the tears rolling down my cheeks, "I-- I don't know."

"Is he allergic to anything? Diabetic? High or low blood pressure? Any other possible medical conditions that could be affecting him?" he asked, and I wanted to say no but I couldn't speak so I just shook my head from side to side.

All I could think to do was sit here and hold his hand. I was praying to God that he was going to be okay. I can't lose him, not after everything that we've been through. I feel so stupid! I shouldn't have shut him out the way I did after the Peter thing. If he dies and I didn't even had a chance to actually apologize I don't know what I'm going to do.

"Ma'am, when we get to the hospital, I need you to stay in the waiting room. You can't go into the ER. Is that clear?" he asked as he prepped himself to climb out of the vehicle.

I nodded and gave Scott's hand a big squeeze, "You can do this, Scott. You're gonna be okay."

The rest happened so fast that I don't think I'll ever be able to recall it properly. I was shoved out of the back and I watched as the EMT's and Scott's body on a stretcher were wheeled into the ER. I was pacing around in front of the receptionist desk. I was going to call Stiles, but I realized that I left my phone on the floor at the house.

Oh my God, my mom! What am I supposed to say to my mom? I feel like I'm having a panic attack and I don't know what to do. I'm pacing back and forth and back and forth and my chest is burning and my head is throbbing and I just want Scott to be okay. I need Scott to be okay. I could hear a woman screaming and I froze. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I realized it was my mom screaming.

Why is she screaming?

She can't be screaming because of Scott, right?

He's gonna be okay, isn't he?

My eyes widened when I saw my mother, a sobbing mess, being held by Liam's father. I began to shake my head from side to side when I realized what this meant. My eyes were burning and I knew it was a warning that I was getting ready to cry.

"Is he?" I chocked out.

Liam's father swallowed thickly, "He didn't make it."

I fell to my knees and started screaming. I was hitting the floor repeatedly and my mom was trying to pull me up. I couldn't move, my legs were numb. Everything in my body was numb and I felt like I had died, too. Scott has been with me every single second of my life and now he's just... gone? What am I supposed to do without him?

I sound so selfish but it's the truth. Stiles was right. Death doesn't happen to the one who dies, it happens to the ones left behind to see you laying there lifeless. To try and move one and act as if you're going to be okay when you know that you aren't. I can't live without Scott. He's my counterpart, my other half. He's my best friend and brother and biggest supporter and I can't not have him. I just can't.

"What happened?! What happened!?" I sobbed as I held my hands over my face. I can't breathe. I can't breathe and I don't care. I don't want to breathe in a world where there isn't a Scott McCall. I don't want to go on without him. I don't want to graduate without him. I don't want to get married without him. I don't want to have a kid without him. I don't want to get gray hair without him. I don't want to get old without him. I don't want to not have him.

My mom was starting to panic a bit as she realized I was completely falling apart. She managed to pull me to my feet and she was trying to whisper something in my ear but I couldn't hear her over the ringing. I don't know where she's taking me, probably an empty room so I can have some privacy while I breakdown. Liam's father stayed behind and watched as she pulled me down the hallway.

She led us through some double doors and I glanced up to see his body on a slab. Stiles, Kira, Noshiko and Liam were all standing beside his body and I felt like I was hallucinating. What is going on I didn't even see Kira and Liam walk past me in the waiting room? I sucked in a deep breath and glanced at my mom, whom was no longer crying.

"What?" I mumbled as I glanced at Scott's body again.

Kira cleared her throat, "We're sorry, Kasey... but we needed a real reaction so everyone would believe it."

"Believe what?" I sniffled as I wiped at my nose.

I glanced at Stiles, and he looked heartbroken. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were glassy. Obviously he doesn't hate me too much, he looks affected by seeing me so upset.

"Come," Noshiko said and I walked towards her.

Scott looked dead. I felt my stomach drop and I wanted to turn around and run away. Noshiko took my hand and placed it on Scott's chest. I then felt a very slow and very weak heartbeat. I glanced at her, "Can that keep him alive?"

"It's enough to keep an Alpha alive, yes." she responded.

My mom swallowed thickly, "How long does he have?"

"Forty-five minutes." Noshiko answered.

I glanced at Scott once more, "What happens if he stays like this longer than forty-five minutes?"

"Nobody's told them?" Kira's mom asked in confusion.

My mom and I both stiffened, "Told us what? What happens to him?"

"He dies,"

▴▵▴

"Is that supposed to look like that?" Liam asked as he pointed to a laptop screen.

Currently, we have three MacBooks set up on a hospital bed, all of which hold the view of four cameras from the hospital. Meaning, we have access of up to 12 different cameras at one, and we can switch through him as we please. I was sitting on the floor in the corner, still recovering from my slight emotional breakdown.

Stiles shook his head from side to side, "No. No, it is not. Someone's gonna have to check it out."

"Where's is coming from?" Liam added.

Stiles blinked once, "Looks like the roof."

"I'll go," Kira said.

"Whoa whoa whoa, you do realize this might not just be a malfunction?" Stiles asked as Kira took a step towards the door.

She nodded, "That's why I'm bringing this."

I glanced up to see that she was holding her Katana. Liam smiled, "I'm going with you!"

Stiles groaned, "Okay, but you're both coming right back!"

I really didn't want to be left alone in a room with Stiles. It was awkward. I didn't want to have the discussion we need to have at the moment. I really don't appreciate the fact that they left me out of the loop once again and let me believe that Scott freaking died. I understand they needed a legit reaction and obviously one from my mom would push her over the edge, but still. I'm already emotionally fractured, like please don't make it any worse.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked Stiles hesitantly.

He shook his head from side to side, "Nope."

"Are you mad at me?" my tone was slightly harsher than I had intended for it to be and I knew that as soon as the words left my lips I had unintentionally started a war.

Stiles spun around and faced me, "Yes. Any other questions? No? Good."

My eyes widened as he focussed his attention back on the laptop screens. I've only had to deal with his anger on a few occasions, so this is still slightly foreign territory for me. I'm not exactly sure how to handle this conversation because clearly what I had just said struck a nerve.

"Well, you do realize that you did the same thing to me--"

He cut me off instantly, "Kasey, just shut the hell up."

"Excuse me?" I fired back ferociously, standing to my feet.

Once again, he turned to face me and I really wish that he hadn't. The look on his face was consumed by pure rage and I knew that I had really gone too far this time. Not telling him about the kiss with Derek was wrong on so many levels and he was boiling on the inside. I'm surprised he managed to remain calm around me for the past twenty minutes, because it honestly looks like he has been waiting to go off on me since I told him about the kiss.

His eyes narrowed harshly, "You want to be excused? There's the damn door. I didn't want to include you in this plan at all, but we needed you and your emotional train wreck self to sell the fact that Scott was dead. So, don't you dare think that I am okay with being in the same vicinity as you because I'm not."

If words could make a person bleed, I would be gushing blood everywhere. With each word, I felt as if I was being stabbed. Over and over again. Stiles has never spoken to me like this and I don't know how to handle it. I want to explode on him and give him everything he's giving me and more, but I'm paralyzed. I never thought I would feel this way because of Stiles. I have to respond to him. I have to say something because silence isn't helping.

Anger or remorse?

I had two different ways to approach this conversation, and I was leaning more towards choice number one.

"Just so you know, this is your fault. Maybe if you would have told me about Malia sooner, I would have felt more comfortable telling you about the Derek thing." I snapped, folding my arms over my chest.

Stiles laughed without humor and I cringed, instantly going back to the Nogitsune days, "You being a cheater has nothing to do with me keeping you in the dark about Peter."

"You think I cheated on you? Are you being serious right now?" I scoffed in annoyance. This was not a cheating situation. I didn't pursue Derek, not did I kiss Derek. Derek kissed me and Derek confessed his feelings to me. I wanted nothing to do with it, but I didn't have much of a choice seeing as how he had me cornered in a closet.

He rolled his eyes, "Kasey, why don't you just go. You did your part, we don't need you anymore. You're wasting my time."

"I'm wasting your time?" I echoed viciously. He was using words that were beginning to trigger my rage and honestly, I can feel my werewolf transition urging me to let the rage consume me so I would snap and hurt him.

The looks he has been giving me were making my insides hurt, "You're a complete waste of time. You're a hopeless immature little girl with daddy issues. Go have fun with Derek, because honestly I'm done."

I couldn't even be angry at this point. I was hurt.

A hopeless immature little girl with daddy issues.

That's all he sees me as? There's no way that my Stiles actually just said that to me. Hopeless? Really? I'm hopeless. I'm a basket case. I'm a waste of time and space. Immature. I'm childish. I can't handle stressful situations. Daddy issues. I have abandonment issues. I'm afraid that nobody wants me.

I swallowed thickly and nodded once, "Well, I'm sorry to have wasted so much of your precious time. If Scott doesn't make it out of this alive, it's on you."

With that being said I stormed towards the door, my chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself and honestly I didn't know what to do or where to go. We are currently trying to hunt down The Benefactor, but instead I'm getting ready to walk away because Stiles said there's no point of me being here.

As I got to the door, I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to hurt him just as badly as he just hurt me. I turned to face him and bit down on my lip, "If you're brave enough to say I'm a hopeless immature little girl with daddy issues, can you admit what you are?"

"What?" he snapped defensively.

I smirked bitterly, "A codependent and weak little boy who is always going to be alone."

"You're a bitch," he said angrily.

I shrugged, "Yeah, but hey at least I'm not your bitch, anymore."

_________________________________________________________________

this chapter was really hard for me to write. mainly because i never wanted to break stiles and kasey up, but honestly no relationship is perfect and there is always going to be a time where you come to a problem and you feel the only solution is to run away from it in separate directions rather than try to face it head on together. obviously, they aren't going to stay apart forever. but they are never going to be the same. kasey isn't the same girl she was in the first book, who was hanging on every word stiles said and never wanted to hurt him. and stiles isn't the same boy who accepts being walked on because he now knows that he has a voice and he's going to use it. it's called character development. with everything these characters have been through, they are going to change. most of you aren't going to like it, but that's how life is. you can't always stay the perfect optimistic happy person you were in the beginning. things change and you change with them.

the next chapter is going to be slightly harder to write because i'm going off script for 90% of it and half the time i'm afraid you guys aren't going to like off-script kasey because that's when shit goes down, lol. but, just know that stasey will not be apart forever. but, they will never be like they were before. that's the whole point of "fallout" because they have been so damaged lately, they are self destructive and now they're left to deal with the fallout of their selfish actions.

be sure to fan, vote and comment what you thought! xx