Lydia and I have grown closer over the last year, if anything I consider her my best friend at this point. So, having her call me up in the odd hours of the night doesn't put me off in anyway at all. Now, having her call me and telling me to meet her outside is a bit odd, but it's Lydia so I'll do it. Let's add the fact that Stiles is in her car to the mix, and that's when it starts to get weird. Apparently, Lydia believes that her grandmother faked her death, and she needs Stiles' help to help recruit Sheriff Stilinski into looking into that mess. I'm here for "moral support", whatever that hell that means.

"Are you two not speaking?" Lydia quipped as she drove to the Sheriff Station.

Stiles was in the backseat, and I was in the front passenger. It felt nice to finally be able to claim the front seat, rather than be delegated to the back. Lydia had stated that I was to sit in the front beside her, for the whole moral support thing.

I sighed, "Not really."

"Why?" she pressed as she flicked on her turn signal.

Stiles cleared his throat, "Lydia, it's really not something I'd like to get into at the moment."

"Okay, well you two need to kiss and make up because I need you to focus and act as a team with me right now. Can't you just... I don't know, raincheck the argument or something?" she suggested desperately.

Honestly, I was all for the raincheck. I don't want to feel awkward around Stiles, nor do I want to not speak because I'm afraid I'll set him off. I can be civil if it means finding out what happened to Lydia's grandmother, who is obviously connected to the Benefactor in some way. The question is, can Stiles manage to do the same?

I turned to face him, "I'm willing to try if you are."

"Just because I'm willing to do this, doesn't mean I forgive you." he stated evenly, his eyes narrowed fiercely.

I nodded, "Likewise."

"Awesome," Lydia sang, "now let's try and figure out what the hell my grandmother has to do with all of this."

▴▵▴

"Your grandmother, Lorraine Martin, faked her death?" Stiles' dad echoed as he stared at the three of us blankly.

Stiles nodded, "Definitely."

"Maybe," Lydia spoke over him as she shot him a look.

I sighed, "More than likely, yes."

"I'm guessing you've got a story to back this up?" he inquired, folding his arms across his chest.

Honestly, of everything he's ever heard in his life he's having a hard time grasping that maybe Lydia's grandma faked her death? I mean, the man has heard of a Kanima for christ's sake and he's refusing to believe that someone faked their death?

Lydia nodded, "She might be helping the Benefactor."

"Or, is the Benefactor." Stiles added.

Sheriff Stilinski nodded, "That sounds like a story worth hearing."

I watched as he closed his office door and spun back around to face us. Stiles sighed, "Okay so it kind of goes back to when Parrish went with Lydia and I to Eichan to try and get some information out of Meredith, before she died."

His dad groaned, "Should I get him in here?"

"Probably," Lydia responded.

Sheriff Stilinski spun back around and opened the office door, "Anyone seen Parrish? Haigh?"

"Haven't seen him," someone called from outside. I assumed his name had been Haigh, or at least his last name was Haigh-- seeing as how most officers respond to their last name rather than their first.

I shrugged, "He could be out on call or something."

"Maybe, let me check..." Sheriff Stilinski mumbled as he made his way to his computer, more than likely checking the log on dispatch calls.

I glanced out the window into the station and my eyes widened when I saw a man, not clothed and covered in black soot, walking towards a deputy. I squinted my eyes and realized that it was Parrish. Why is he naked? Why does he look like he just walked out of a fire?

"Uh, I found Parrish." I said as I pointed in the direction he was heading.

Stiles' dad ran to the door and pulled it open as Parrish and Haigh began struggling on the ground. I kept hearing the deputy say, "You're dead! But, you're dead!"

Next thing I know, I hear a gunshot and my shoulder is bleeding. What the hell? I glanced at Sheriff Stilinski who had fallen back into his office. My eyes widened as Stiles pulled his dad away from the doorway, Lydia rushed over to me and applied pressure to my shoulder. Did I get shot, or did Sheriff Stilinski get shot? What the hell?

"Dad, you okay?" Stiles asked in a panic as he inspected his father's wound.

He nodded, "I'm fine. Kasey, are you hit?"

"Not really, I mean... yes and no?" I responded awkwardly, not really knowing how to explain my abilities to where he would understand it without any confusion.

Stiles glanced at me briefly before looking to his dad, "Don't worry about her, she has the supernatural ability to heal, you on the other hand don't... so we need to get you to a hospital."

"Good idea. I'll handle Parrish, you two go with Mr. Stilinski to the hospital." Lydia stated.

▴▵▴

I was standing outside of Sheriff Stilinski's room while he got checked out. Stiles was inside with him, and I was grateful that I didn't have to be in the room with them. I don't think his dad knows what happened between us, nor do I want him to know. He's the closest thing I've had to a dad since mine left and he's only gonna hear Stiles' side of the story and he's going to hate me.

Unfortunately, I'm not my brother. I'm not Scott, the wise and protective see the good in everybody while trying to save the day and never make a mistake that ends up with him losing something important to him, McCall. I'm the other McCall. I'm Kasey, the scared and hesitant selfish girl who can't save anybody or anything and ends up losing everything that's important to her, McCall. When I turned into the hybrid that I am now, I was supposed to be a true alpha by nature. I'm supposed to be just like Scott, but I'm the exact opposite. I don't have a single quality within me to make me a true alpha. Maybe that's why my eyes are purple, because I could have been a true alpha before I changed... before I killed people-- innocent people. It makes sense that my eyes are a mix of what could have been an alpha and what is a monster. Hell, I'm almost as bad as Peter.

Almost...

What am I even doing with my life?

How did it end up so out of control?

I honestly just want to cry because I don't know what else to do. Stiles hates me. There are people trying to murder everyone that I care about. My mom is in debt up to her neck. I'm a supernatural hybrid that seems to be nonexistent elsewhere. I just... where did it all just take a turn for the worst? I can't even keep up with the all the bad things that happen to me anymore. It's like as soon as things get back to being normal, they take a turn for the worst again.

The door of Sheriff Stilinski's room opened and the Doctor exited. He nodded at me once before making his way down the hall. I don't know what's going in the room, but I probably should stay out here and let them have their privacy. I don't want to intrude, plus Stiles still kind of hates me so me being in there does nothing beneficial to him whatsoever.

I sat down in the chair and buried my face in my hands. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally and mentally. My life is just draining. I can't keep up the energy to deal with crisis after crisis. Maybe if I had a break for longer than a month to recollect myself, maybe I would be okay.

Oh, who am I kidding? I've never been okay-- even before the supernatural infiltrated my life. I've always been one step away from a psychotic break, the supernatural just pushes me a lot harder than the mundane life I lived before did.

I heard Stiles and his father yelling and my eyes widened as I tried to understand what was being said, but as I attuned my hearing to adjust to their voices, Stiles came storming out of the room. He slammed the door and glanced at me in confusion.

"I thought you would have gone down to the cafeteria or something..." he stated offhandedly to explain himself I suppose.

I shook my head from side to side and stood from the chair, "No, I've been out here the whole time. How is he?"

"He'll be okay. The morphine is kicking in, so he's gonna get some rest. You all healed up?" he asked plainly, no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

I nodded once, opting out on speaking. Lydia had suggested the momentary raincheck because she needs our help, and I have no problem in being civil with Stiles if that means that we end up stopping the Benefactor. I just feel so awkward around him, and I never thought that I would feel this way with him. 

His words were still ringing about in my head and I wanted them to just disappear, but the reality of the situation is that when it comes to having our hearts broken-- everyone has an elephants memory. I wish I could forget the sting of his words from the fight prior, but I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to feel the same with him after that. The fact of the matter is, that when people are angry, the truth comes out, which means that deep inside of himself he believes that I'm hopeless and immature. He believes I'm an emotional train wreck.

When I said that he was a codependent and weak little boy who is always going to be alone, I chose those words specifically because I knew that they would hurt him. I wanted to bring back the memories of him losing his mom, because he brought back the fear and abandonment I feel about my dad. I wanted to make him think that he was unable to do anything by himself, because he suggested that I was unable to do anything in general. I wanted to call him weak because he called me hopeless. 

I love him more than anything in the world, but things between us are not ever going to be like they were before. If something as small as a kiss from Derek was able to crumble our relationship into dust, then maybe we weren't meant to be together at all. Maybe we were meant to fall out of love because we were never supposed to fall in love in the first place. I hate thinking like this, but it could be the cause for the situation I'm in now. 

Stiles cleared his throat, pulling me away from my thoughts, "Lydia wants us to meet her back at my house so we can try and break the cipher key for the list her grandma left her." 

"Oh, okay." I stated awkwardly, "Are you comfortable with driving alone with me in your jeep? If not, I can walk or something." 

He blinked once before letting out a heavy sigh, "I'll be okay. She's waiting for us, so we should probably get going." 

"Okay."

▴▵▴

Stiles and I drove back to his house, I was sitting in the front seat and he wasn't holding my hand like he normally does. My chest was aching to feel his fingers intertwined with mine. I miss him so much, even though it's only been two days... it's been two days too long. He hurt me badly with lying to me and the venomous words he used, but I'm still head over heels for him and I miss him so much. If it's possible to die from heartbreak, I could be six feet under within the next 24 hours.

The reason Lydia wanted to meet back at Stiles' house is because of his board. He had all of the information we have gathered in regards to the Benefactor compiled on it, and Lydia wanted to add the final list to the rest of the information. I'm actually surprised that Stiles is okay with me being in his bedroom. I'm going to try my hardest to remain calm and not snap at him or cause an argument for Lydia's sake. 

We were both completely silent and I was too nervous to turn the radio on, so instead I just bit down on my lip and picked at the black nail polish on my fingers. I had painted them out of boredom at some point in the day yesterday and most of it has already been picked off due to nerves and boredom. Lydia was surprised that I had actually done something girly, but then she scolded me for going with black instead of a pastel pink to go with my skin tone. 

I picked black because I always wear black. All black, just like my soul.

Stiles' heart was beating unnaturally fast and I knew he was nervous as well. It's really sad that we can't just talk this through rationally, but Stiles and I aren't all that rational... especially when it comes to dealing with anger and jealousy. I was beginning to contemplate actually starting a conversation, but he pulled into his driveway before I could and he was out of the jeep in .3 seconds and I was left alone yet again.

I sighed and clambered out of the jeep, making my way towards the front porch. Lydia was standing by the front door with her arms folded over her chest. She glanced between Stiles and myself and sighed, "Damn... I thought you two going to the hospital together would fix this." 

Stiles scoffed, "Not likely." 

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff of annoyance at his snide remark. This was clearly going to be a long night. Lydia looked to me in concern, "You doing okay? Your shoulder all healed?"

The way she was looking at me told me that she wasn't asking about my shoulder; she could clearly see that my shoulder is healed. She was asking if I was okay after being alone with Stiles, obviously his comment revealed to her that he was in no way ready to try and work through things with me just yet. 

"Just peachy," I remarked sarcastically as I followed behind her and Stiles as they walked into the house.

Lydia and Stiles began to discuss the list as we ascended the staircase, and I focussed on the fact that I haven't had anything eat in the last fourteen hours and I'm starving. I'm going to have to get something to eat soon or I'll flip out. I don't handle hunger well in the slightest. I watched Lydia pull a photo out of her bag, along with a paper that had computer code written on it. I assumed the photo was her grandmother's other half, Maddy. The code was what Lorraine left Lydia to try and figure out. Only problem was that grandma Martin didn't leave us a cipher key.... which meant we were going to have to figure that out.

"How long is this whole cipher guess and check thing gonna take?" I asked hesitantly, Stiles grabbed the photo and paper out of Lydia's hand and taped them to his board.

Lydia shrugged, "Hours... days... hopefully not too long. How does an all nighter sound?"

"Well," Stiles sighed, "guess we don't have much else of a choice seeing as how this cipher key is vital in making sure that everyone stays alive."

"I'm going to get something to eat otherwise I'll end up murdering you both, don't wait up," I muttered as I turned on my heel and headed back down the stairs to get something to eat.

▴▵▴

"Try Maddy. It has to be Maddy." Stiles stated.

I rolled my eyes, "That is way too obvious."

"I agree with Kasey, that's too obvious for a cipher key." Lydia agreed.

He groaned, "I guarantee it's Maddy."

Stiles and I both leaned over Lydia's chair as we watched her type the name into the bar. It read error which meant that Maddy wasn't the cipher key. Which meant that Stiles was wrong and Kasey was right. Please, mark down today's date ladies and gentleman because that will not happen very often.

I let out a sigh as Stiles' printer beeped behind me. The damn thing has been beeping for the last two hours because the paper tray was empty. I don't know why it matters that the paper tray is empty because it's not printing anything, so why the hell is it beeping?

"Okay... your name. She left the code for you, right? So, it's gotta be your name." Stiles suggested after watching his previous attempt fail miserably.

I shook my head from side to side, "Still too obvious."

Lydia typed her name and once again the screen read error.

"Your mom's name?" he suggested. I didn't even have to glance at the screen to know that it read error after Natalie was typed.

"Uh," Stiles sighed, "any beloved family pets?"

I sat down on the desk beside the laptop and took a sip of my coffee before saying, "Okay, let's think here. The ashes and code were both left for you, therefore the cipher key is something that only you and her will know. It's supposed to be hard, that way it's confidential."

The printer beeped again and Stiles groaned as he shoved some paper into it, finally shutting the damn thing up. I glanced at the screen on the printer, the tiny little screen that showed the task it had, and saw that it now said printing, but nothing was coming out... what the hell?

Stiles nodded, "It's all about you.... our guesses have all been about Lorraine, but they need to be about you. The stuff was left for you. Right? We keep trying to guess a word that has something to do with her. So, maybe we should be trying to guess one that's about you."

"Me?" Lydia stated dubiously, "What about me?"

I bit down on my lip, "Grandma's are sentimental... what's something that you two did together?"

"Yeah, did you go to the beach or get ice cream--"

Lydia cut Stiles off quickly, "We read."

"Okay," I stated, "what did you read?"

"The Little Mermaid." she said, without hesitation.

Stiles gaped at her, "You read that movie?"

"It was a book first," she snapped, "Hans Christian Andersen."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Type it in, Little Mermaid."

"I can already tell you right now that's too long," I muttered.

Lydia tried it, and error popped up. She then tried just mermaid, and once again the error message popped up. She narrowed her eyes as she focussed on the wall, "We read it every night. I got so obsessed with it for three months I wouldn't respond to anything but Ariel. It drove my parents crazy but..."

"Ladies and gentleman I believe we just found our cipher key," I sang as Lydia and I both caught on the same wavelength.

The cipher key was Ariel.

Once Lydia pressed enter, the key took and it unlocked a whole new set of names.

"Now, that's what I call teamwork." I chuckled as Lydia and I gave each other a high-five.

"Do you recognize any of the names on the list?" Stiles asked as he and Lydia inspected the computer screen, attempting to make a connection with the Benefactor or Lydia's grandma in some way, shape or form.

Lydia sighed, "Just my grandmother."

The printer now began to print something. It was on a delay due to the fact that it hadn't had paper in it for quite some time and had been trying to print on nothing. I watched as the paper slowly began to slide out, and when I saw the extremely familiar font type with a format of names in a vertical formation... it knew that it had printed off the deadpool.

I snatched the paper up and glanced at Lydia and Stiles, "We need to call, Scott."

______________________________________________________________________________

ugh, just wanna get this story over withhhhhh. season five is calling my name and i really want to write about kasey and theo because i already know she's going to hate him and i'm excited asf. i also had it written for stasey to make up this chapter but you know let's push it off until the last second because i'm kind of having fun writing them being shitty to each other.

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