Some say silence is source of great strength ..Its pure, Its holy.It draws two people together and only those who are comfortable with each other can spend time without speaking ..but today it bothered her ,the silence between them . Swara glanced at Sanskaar whose focus is on road straight ahead,his face devoid of any emotion .They have been driving for past 20 minutes in silence .She always took pride in fact they never needed words ...because they understood each other's silence .. but today it bothered her ..His silence.

She wished he could speak .. but he didn't . She slowly turned her head away and stared out of car window and her thoughts floated back ..

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Rone De Tu Aaj Humko, Tu Aankhe Sujane De

Baho Mein Le Le Aur, Khud Ko Bheeg Jane De

Hai Jo Seene Mein Quaid Dariya, Wo Choot Jayega

Hai Itna Dard Ki, Tera Daaman Bheeg Jayega

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The kiss ..She remembered their first kiss.. How it started .That night , his lips brushed softly over her wrist kissing away the pain ,she wanted to do the same . Kiss away every pain, she had ever caused him .As her lips touched his ..he stood still , and let her kiss him ..letting her pour life back into him, letting her take away every pain being apart from her caused.He was broken and he wanted to be mended ...and he let her.

After what seemed like an eternity she drew back ...and saw a lone tear sliding down from his closed eyes .Her lips met the tear before it could slid further .Oh! How much she wished .. she could make up for every single tear that spilled out of his eyes for her ,because of her .. Oh how much !.Her lips caressed his cheeks with feather light kisses ..and when she drew back his eyes met hers .A thousand words exchanged in silence before their lips met again and this time he kissed her back , clung to her like she was the next breath he needed..and he was dying to breath.His every fibre, every pore in the body ached for her , to hold him , to love him and she did ..pouring all her ardent love, she had been holding back all these days.Every breath , every sigh , every caress melted into a kiss and ...all was said

And Everything else faded

----------------------

Swara ..

Her heart leaped at the way he took her name as they parted and softly pressed his forehead against hers and like always she stood lost in his embrace.

Did she have right to snatch this peace from him at this moment..telling him the bitter truth ..she struggled within herself .. may be not today . But If not today ..maybe she could never .. have courage to say it .His love would only grow leaps and bounds ..his hopes would soar ,only to be crashed breaking him again, this time..she knew it would be beyond repair. No she can't lead him into this ..The sooner , the better.

And then she smelled something burning .. every thought flew out of her mind.

"Oh God!Sanskaar .. Bread .. "Swara rushed to kitchen leaving a startled Sanskaar behind ..."Dekha!" She held up the burnt bread for his view " Jhal gaya" she said shooting an accusatory glance at toaster and bread . For next few minutes sitting on kitchen counter Sanskaar amusedly watched Swara as she hurriedly prepared fresh set of toast ,gave a victory smile to him..

"Break fast Mr.Maheshwari ?" she asked in lighter tone and her lips curved up slightly at his reply.

"I am starving Miss Bose, "he replied with a smile

They had silent breakfast..not very silent though.Swara felt pain tugging her heart as he heard Sanskaar saying how he dreamt of this moment ..and her heart swelled with love as he lovingly fed her a piece ...that soft smile and sparkle in his eyes as she fed him..God! Please help me she prayed inwardly .. trying to muster courage and finally the moment came ..

And she did ..

His smile faded as he heard her .. and from then all she saw was a blank stare .. not a word , not a tear .Silence ruled for an hour like time freezed .Then he rose " I will drop you back" were last words she heard from him .She simply nodded and here they are in his car .

Was she disappointed? What did she expect? A word of comfort, an assurance or an promise of undying love..or at least a simple accusation for hiding this but not his silence which screamed at her. Her thoughts jerked just like the car telling her they reached her place . She looked at him .. she waited and stepped out . She stood silently and watched as car raced off leaving a cloud of dust behind.

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Nothing could stop his stream of tears as he drove aimlessly on road.He wiped them as they blurred his vision and but they didn't seem to stop.

"Sanskaar . ek aur baat hai ..jo .. " her words rang in his ears and ground beneath him shook . He froze, he went numb.. The best strategy his heart followed in defense to his pain .. but he knew it would hit him back hard later and it did ..

"I am dying."

This can't be happening ..His Swara can't die ..It's a lie he told himself as his car took a sharp turn but his mind know it wasn't .. He had seen her eyes , the tears she held back putting up a brave front as she told him ..every single thing ..

"Iss liye maine tumse kaha ki ... I am sorry, Sanskaar lekin sch yahi hain ki ..I am dying. ".Sanskaar screeched the car on hill top rushed out for the need of air ,like something choked his breath, like a sharp pain gripped his heart.

"Aisa nahi ho sakta .. Swa .. Swara ..sab jhoot hain ,sab jhoot .."he mumbled incoherently his words and voice breaking into pieces bit by bit.He just got her and again she is being snatched away from him this time ,forever.He thought nothing could hurt him more ..but this pain..mind numbing , heart wrenching pain ...Tears gushed out

Swara ...

His heart breaking voice echoed across the valley again ,again and again

Swara .. he cried out her name for one last time and sank down.

Afternoon sun shone brightly ,then slowly dipped painting sky with streaks of red and orange ..and slowly night dawned upon but nothing mattered to him as he sat leaning against car staring blankly into space before him for hours recalling her words in bits and pieces.

"I had two choices then Sanskaar .. To sit and mourn over my condition or to pick up my life and move on ..I made my choice ..you have to make yours."

Sanskaar wiped his tears and rose up .He have two choices too .. and he knew what would be his.

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Annapurna couldn't be happier watching Sanskaar walk into Maheshwari Mansion that night . He neither staggered nor was in disheveled state and above all he was not drunk. She couldn't stop her tears as he hugged her " I am sorry mom .. Itne din aapko taklif dene ke liye ..I am sorry." Her son is back at least she caught glimpse of her old Sanskaar but his next words

"Mom Maine aap se kaha tha na ki Swara bhi mujhse pyaar karti hain .. aaj usne keh diya ..that she loves me too."

And his reaction puzzled her again .His eyes shone, but there was something deep, a steely determination in them which unsettled her further and that one moment of hesitation when she asked "Sab theek haina Sanskaar?" told her something was not right. He simply nodded.

"Mom woh ..jyada bhook nahi hain .. aap please meri fav sandwich banado."

Annapurna gently patted his cheek " Tum jaake fresh ho jaao ..abhi banakar lati hoon," and watched him rush to his room .He would tell her when he want to whatever is troubling him . Annapurna slowly made her towards kitchen.

Back in his room as he closed the doors ,Sanskaar held back tears the threatened to spill out .He leaned back on door squeezing his eyes shut and today's morning events rushed back to him.

"I love you Sanskaar," he heard her voice. " I am dying Sanskaar," same voice said again and they played in loop.. And he stood there listening to each voice again and again. How much ever it hurt ,he didn't want to run away or shut them down ..not at this point. He would face the pain even if it slices through him and makes him bleed he will bleed till the last breath if that's only way to love her. He will.

And other voice died down slowly accepting its defeat .. all he could hear and see was Swara as her hands caressed his cheeks .. her eyes as she gazed deep into his and pronounced her love " I love you Sanskaar" Her words echoed the biggest truth of his life .. he loves her ..she loves him .. and there's no turning back at this point.

--------------------------

So this is how it ends.

Swara looked at her mobile for one last time before she placed it back on table. It's been 3 days and not a word from Sanskaar. She slowly walked up to balcony and settled on swing and her thoughts swung back and forth as it swayed .

This is what she wanted, for him to go away , this truth to lead him away from her , far away ..but ...one word ..A simple goodbye.Was it too much to ask for.

Maybe she understood why he didn't want to meet her.It wouldn't have been easy . She herself took lot of time to come in terms with this truth .. and he loves her.

Love .. Swara smiled sadly and drew the cushion close to her heart. They love each other but they can't be together .Her Ill fated love.Last 3 days she had been trying to make peace with the same.

But she wished he would call her , just once , or a message just to know he is fine .She can't see him being broken again. It would kill her before. May be this is best for both of them in every way . To drift apart ... but why did it have to hurt .. hurt so much, the thought of not having Sanskaar in her life . She wanted him , she needed him to be with her , to love her. Swara closed her eyes shut ..letting tears slip down

How could she be so selfish .. wish him to be a part of her life knowing all she could do is to ruin him but who would let her treacherous heart realise the same which yearned to be selfish .. yearned for him.

Good he didn't call her..May be this is best for both of them ..

This is the end.

---------------------------------------------

" For a new start .. for us "

Yours Sanskaar

Sanskaar drew back pen and checked at note on bouquet.He knew red roses are her favorite ..and he made sure he picked each of them carefully , ready to bloom.He didn't call her message her for 3 days .. he wanted to be strong for them and he needed this time.

He scribbled quickly on gift he picked for her ..wish she would like this too.

" Time pe pahucha dena,"he passed instructions to person before him and saw him leave.His eyes moved to Swara's photograph on his table and his fingers gently traced over the same.

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Her fingers gently traced the roses ..they were 12 of them and she knew what they meant. " Be Mine" and " I love you." Her eyes moved to the note and words that caught her attention and held it are " Yours Sanskaar

"Yours.."

Her heart leaped with joy as Swara smiled through tears.Her eyes moved to gift pack lying next to her .She quickly reached out to open and found herself staring at a beautiful red dress. And there was a note too which read

Meet me at our place @ 7.30pm ..

I will be waiting.

Yours Sanskaar

Ps: It's a date!.

----------------------------------------------------

Swara stepped down from the car ,Sanskaar sent to pick her up .Dressed in same red dress he chose for her, a sleeveless knee length one piece with high end jewel neckline. She didn't have to think twice when he said our place .. she knew what he was referring to' their dream house . As she took slow gentle steps towards the entrance ,partly nervous , partly excited , her heart thudded with an odd sweet sensation . Is this how one supposed to feel on their first date..now she knew what they meant by butterflies in stomach.. Because she felt them flutter .

Her hands unknowingly smoothed her dress. She let her hair loose with little make up, dusted her eyes with little sparkle hardly noticeable and little blush With no much accessories other than simple bracelet and a pair of red ruby studs she wished red lipstick which she put on in whim to go with the dress was not loud and very striking.

Nervous , she took a long deep breath as she stood before door slightly ajar and stepped in ...and there he was. He stood with a smile, that flattered her heart further and needless to say he looked stunning in black two piece suit , teaming it with red shirt ..one of her favourites she recalled from their shopping trip.

A step forward.. She noticed her every step was on bed on rose petals, scented red and white candles lit up the room casting their light across.. And at moment a dim memory crossed her mind

"Baba .. Kya sach main raj kumar hote hain jaise fairy tales main...mujhe bhi chahiye ,"she asked her dad as kid once which had Sekhar smiling " Acha! Ab shona ko raj kumar chahiye."

" Haan Jo horse par aayega .. white horse pe aur saare villains ko dishoom dishoom kar dega aur mujhe save kar lega," she added in few more demands giggling.

"Tho teek hain hum shona ke liye raj kumar leke aayenge jo meri gudiya se bahut pyaar karega aur bikul priness ki tarah rakhega. Ok! "Her Dad promised

Yay! She jumped and hugged her baba .From then she would never get tired of dreaming about her prince charming.He would come day .. only for her .As Years passed she knew there wouldn't be white horse , witches or villains ..but a prince may be yes . May be she would have never stopped dreaming never.. after all who wouldn't wish to have fairy tale love story .. but hers was different, a tale which had end before it began ..and she never dreamed of prince again.

But now she can see herself staring at her prince charming straight out of fairy tale, standing right before her ,his one hand extended for her .With every step it felt she's walking down the aisle for him ..to reach him like he is her end and beginning.

---------------------------

He stood waiting for her to step in and and she did..taking his breath away in dress he choose for her ..but nothing could match the one who walked towards him not even fragment of his imagination of her in that dress . No words, no poems ,no love songs would do justice to her.. His princess . His Swara

How much he have dreamt of this moment before everything came crashing down. But now he wouldn't let it crash..he would rebuild every one of dream .. his, hers, into theirs and now she walked up to him in slow measured gentle steps, just a like walking down aisle .Her hair flowed down in waves, few tendrils brushing across her cheeks, tinted with faint red shade and smile adorned her like a piece of jewel.As she walked closer to him his heart raced with a familiar beat . She took his hand and it closed around hers in warm gentle hold and she felt sweet tingling sensation shooting through her as he brushed it slightly and lifted it to his lips.

" Welcome My princess"

He called her princess, Swara smiled through tears .Neither of them had any doubt what would next step be .. he held her close in his arms and she sank into warmth of his embrace for long .She felt his lips brushing over her hair and faintly whispering " I love you Swara." Her hands tightened around him whispering back " I love you too Sanskaar"and they knew they could stay like this for an eternity holding each other.

During candle light dinner followed by a cake and champagne, their eyes never left each other , and hands tangled at every possible time. Everything was going perfect but Swara was plagued with questions , her own fears ,apprehensions and it didn't go unnoticed by Sanskaar . He knew she would have many questions to night and he have an answer for every one of them.

"Sanskaar .. woh ..main..." she started off

"I know My princess "His hand held her in assurance "Tumhare har sawaal ka jawab milega tumhe .. lekin pehle ..he rose and stood before her extending his hand" Will you dance with me?

A soft smile tugged her lips as she placed her hand her hand into his.

Music floated in ... A soft soothing one

She rested her hands on his shoulders .He held her close, her body moulding into his as if they were made for each other.. Then the lines floated in

( You might want to listen to this song before reading next lines)

https://youtu.be/H0XxLtQ9tPQ

Jab tak tujhe pyar se Beinteha main bhar na dun

Jab tak main duaaoon sa Sau dafa tujhe padna loon

He gazed at her tenderly and she found herself losing in depth of them.They danced in silence swaying together.

Haan mere paas tum raho Jaane ki baat na karo

Mere sath tum raho Jaane ki baat na karo

His fingers slowly pushed one of her loose tendrils behind ear and she trembled at his touch. She wanted to say something, anything, but each time she opened her mouth to speak, she fell short of breath under his smoldering gaze and his slightest touch .

"I should have known it then his soft voice had her looking at him curiously" That first time we met .. I was hit by you , not the ball," and warmth rushed to her cheeks.

Tum aa gaye baazuon mein mere ,Sau sawere liye

Haan baadalon se utaara gaya ,Tumko mere liye, sirf mere liye

He twirled her round , spun in and out and she nestled back in his arms,her back leaning on his front his hold warm against her waist, his breath hot against her neck as they moved slowly side to side. His lips brushed her neck slightly and she quivered with sigh of pleasure. And when they brushed again for long, her hands clutched his , lacing through his fingers .

Sanskaar .. she took his name quivering again in his arms, under his lips. And she had no clue how it made his heart race .. his name never felt sweeter.

Jab tak meri ungliyan Tere baalon se kuch kehna le

teri lehar mein Khwaahishein meri behna le

He turned her to face him . He pulled her impossibly closer as two people slowly resembled one.She lowered her head pressing her lips on his neck and felt him shudder.

"Swara .. "he murmured her name. She had no clue what she was doing to him.His hand tugged into her hair ..in soft hold and she lifted her lashes to meet his.All she could hear was short gasps of breath,see his eyes glittering with an emotion so intense that her heart raced, heat pooled her insides. Unconsciously she leaned closer ..so close that she could feel his breath over hers.

She wanted to give him whatever she can and wanted him to take everything he could. This time his heart sped beat by beat ..

"Tumhare saare sawaalon ka ek hi jawab hain Swara," He mumbled softly against her lips which trembled and parted for him in invitation.

"I love you" he whispered before closing his lips on hers. Her eyes fluttered close and she opened up for him.Her hands moved up fingers curling into his hair trying to come into terms with sweet exquisite feelings rushing through her like whirlwind. His every inch throbbed with an yearning for her , all the love he felt for her all poured into kiss and she melted right in his arms..feeling every bit of his love and they kissed and kissed until it turned into an endless bliss.

As they parted ..she hid herself his chest and he felt her tears through his shirt.That worried him.

" Swara .. "

"Kuch mat kaho please ..".she mumbled midst tears. "Please hold me Sanskaar Never let me go ..Please. "And he held her tight until she calmed down. She slowly drew back looked at him with tear stained cheeks.

"Jab tumhara call ya message nahi aaya .. I .. I got scared ..that ..you.. "her voice trailed off stating her fear she faced.

His heart twisted in pain.She thought he would not come back .Her fears were understood..and those 3 days had not been easy on him ..he cried and cried till tears dried out..trying to come in terms with fact. He knew he had to try .. try hard to fight back the pain to be with her, but he didn't realise how his indifference would hurt her.Guilt rushed through him . " Swara .. Main...bas."

" Sanskaar .. "she stopped him "tum kuch kaho isse pehle I want to tell you ... that ..that you are not bound in anyway by me or to me . you can.." she paused. She didn't have any right to hold him back if he ever wanted to leave. She didn't want him stay out of any obligation he felt towards her" You Can," she struggled to find the last few words to say that he could leave her and he understood her every unsaid word.

He held her chin and gazed into her eyes warmly "I am bound to you in every way Swara ...haq hain tumhara mujh pe," and her eyes widened in surprise "You are stuck with me Swara Bose and that too for a lifetime.." he smiled slightly.

"I don't have a life," she smiled sadly and his smiled faded at that sadness reflected in her eyes.

"You have mine, " he replied his fingers gently feathering her cheeks wiping tears as she looked at him awe " You are my life Swara and you will always be.. Till I breath my last .. I am yours."

Probably she might have asked this question twice ,thrice but every time he left her speechless one way or another with his love that she couldn't help wonder why did he love her so much .. that he was ready to face hurt and heartbreak for a lifetime.

"Kyu Sanskaar ? why do you love me so much?" she asked again.

They were still holding each other..and she realised they were swaying gently

"Loving you is like breathing for me Swara . The minute I would stop loving you I will cease to exist."

She leaned onto him her cheek resting on his heart feeling his calm and steady beat " Mat karo itna pyaar mujhse.. "she murmured into his heart

"Isse se jyada kar sakta hoon Swara .. lekin kam nahi "he hugged her close.

"Mera pyaar tumhe sirf dard dega Sanskaar,sirf takleef.." she wanted to warn him before they get too deep into this .. where there would be no coming back for either of them .

"Tuhme pata hain Swara ..mere liye dard kya hain ?" She drew back gazed into his eyes " Woh har pal jo maine tumhare bina bitaya .. woh har pal jo maine ye soch kar jiya ki tum mujhse pyaar nahi karti. Nahi jeena aisa ek bhi pal agar tum saath nahi ho..Nahi chahiye aise khushi jis main tum mere saath nahi ho." His fingers brushed her hair and softly traced her cheeks "Kyunki meri har khushi tumhare saath hain Swara,"and she stood wondering ...how could he ? Doesn't his love have a limit ?Is it possible to love someone so much?

One last resort.. One last warning. She wanted to try. She will not let him suffer for her selfish need of loving him and being loved by him.

"Mere pyaar tumhe barbaad kardegi Sanskaar," she told in firm tone .

Silence ruled for a while, he knew she trying to make him run away fearing he would be hurt.She wanted to save him ..but she should know .. his only salvation is loving her , and if it would lead to his ruin...he would be willingly led.

"Agar tumhara pyaar barbaadi hain Swara," he answered back in sure tone.."tho main barbaad hone ke liye tayyar hoon.. Iss pyaar mein Fanaa hone ke liye tayaar hoon."

And she froze in his arms for a while ,her every question,every apprehension every fear fading away ..

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Tu jo paas ho phir kya ye jahaan ,Tere pyaar mein ho jaaun Fanaa

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