I confess, I confess I had been trying to manipulate the odds. I have been trying to hold on to this Feeling. They reported and I stood there watching - watching The Fall.

Xander P.O.V

I flipped my wrist, pursing my lips at the time. Lighting up a cigarette, When my eyes opened today something I don't recall happening ever before took place.

I had been drinking like an animal everything I found the day before, I woke up to a memory a vivid one.

I thought I was impuissant to dreams - I pushed the thought to the back of mind not wanting to deal with anything before coffee.

I am very particular about my 'Coffee First' moto you'd hate yourself for involving in my day before I get my dose.

I took my shower and had my morning disagreements with my brother before deciding to get away.

I flicking at my phone scrolling through my various social media accounts, scrolling through M 's last unanswered texts. I wanted to call her yet she did not give me a chance and I wasn't about to go insane because she thinks she's right.

My brother approached me telling me about the change of plans at the office, I nodded scrolling through my Facebook feed.

I stood straight - unble to answer my brother. I took a moment, clearing my mind - a phase of denial.

This could not be right, my mind raced - as I read the post throughly. A picture of Malia and bunch of fuckers. I read the post more times than I'd care to count.

For the first time of my life I regret something really soon on, my shadows danced around as I told myself I might not be sober.

I hit her number ringing, my heart raced as I waited for her to reply - God only knows that my thoughts would not be sum up. I couldn't explain - she drove me crazy someone like her...

Someone picked up, and I knew it wasn't her. "Hello, who is this?" I asked.

"Who are you?" He threw back at me. I bit my lip, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I am Malia's friend, let me talk to her."

"Paralysed Phyco, Malia is still unconscious."

My heart raced for more reasons, "Where are you?" I asked, the boy gave me the address - I got dressed in a few minutes and head there not paying the slightest attention to my brother who was calling for me. "Later," was my only reply.

I imagined all sort of sinarios, wanting to break everything apart. She hated me, not like that was news to me. I wanted the panics to leave me alone, she mattered.

As soon as I was in the hospital, I felt like I was not supposed to be here. She did not want to see me, I watched her petite body take small up and down motion of breathing and all I saw was blind.

I know now, she's a work of art. She did not deserve this. The dead beat of my heart jumped as I saw the machines beeb and go all red and green and other colors.

I saw the nurses and doctors rush to her, and safely; after putting me in a oscillate back and forth, bring her back to safety.

I needed to punch something, I needed to understand what happened - I needed to kill the fucker who answered her phone. I was losing my mind, so I called her number again and as I heard the familiar ring tone I took the boy outside; more like dragged.

"Who are you? Tell me you're the one who put her in that bed and I promise I will let you live Paralysed; and not a dead body found in a dumster." I warned gritting through my teeth.

"I swear it was an accident, we were on our way back from our road trip. I did not see it the car swerved,"

"What's her condition," I asked.

"I don't know," he replied.

I chuckled bitterly, and planted my fist in his stomach. "Maybe this'll budge your memory," I clenched my jaw.

"She has a broken rip, and will be okay. I swear - she wasn't even supposed to ride with me,"

"Yeah so now it's her problem you fucked - she better wake up. Or you and I will have another encounter."

I took her phone from him and made my way towards her room again - glancing at Becky her friend I knew all too well.

I was gonna have to find out somehow, I found it hard to say I was sorry. I should have told her the truth, shouldn't I - my legs paced towards the other her.

"How's she," I asked.

Becky cried, "Fractures and a broken arm, she should be fine. yeah?"

I noded - tapping her shoulder. Making my way towards her room letting myself in. Making sure Becky had called M 's Family, I sat on a chair in front of her.

I thought for a moment - if I hadn't opned Facebook. Many thoughts wrapped around her, she looked pale and drained. I closed my eyes, praying she'd be okay.

Losing her wasn't an option, however they forced me out soon enough. Her siblings came and they had another older boy with them.

I did not know him, nevertheless Malia never really told me much about her circle. For all I don't know he could be her boyfriend, I however hoped he'd be.

She'd had cheated on him, I would not owe her an apology that way. But I knew Malia wasn't the kind, she was the type of girl who'd be taken on dates and loved and not the flirt with and have occasional night stands with.

Not that any of which my type,

I watched from a far, not wanting to get involved. I did not want to even be here anymore, I walked out towards my car opening the door taking my seat.

Before I knew it I was hitting hard on the staring wheel - I light up a cigarette puffing the air away trying to convince myself she was gonna be alright. Frustrated at the yellow hot rays making my mood way worse than it already was.

The rage drove me mental, Of course I cared about her, I care about her. I am just not good at showing, It felt like hours before I decided I would go check on her again.

By the time I was at her room alot of the people with us in college were already there, also known as my cue to disappear.

Which is exactly what I did, I went to the office. I felt fucked up, I was sick of all the mind torments so I did what I mastered best! ignore and forget.

Until someone comes to remind me and tell me what I knew oh too well. For the longest time, it's been her.
By the time I was home it was already 11 PM - The longer I worked the more I realised how actually misreble I am.

I hoped, so many times for things to be more simple. She was probably hurting, she must be or might have been just me. For all day my body felt deaf and blind; its almost funny. A lot of emotions today, I thought I was out of touch a whole while back.

All I needed was a prayer, maybe M was right. I needed to get on my way - my thoughts got interrupted by my younger brother calling at me. "Your Friend who looks like the guy Rihanna dated is here." He said and left so quickly.

"Hey, hey Kadian!" I called at him, he came back again. I pursed my lip before saying anything, my brother looked at me shaking his head ever so slightly waiting for me. "Nothing," I sighed walking past him towards the living area.

I needed a distraction - not a prayer or any type of sorting.

"Hey Jimmy, how have you been man." I sat down on the sofa, my cigarette in hand.

"Devil may care," he said.

"What?"I replied perplexed.

"Earth to Xander, want me to get your mind off things. You certainty look tired." He smiled, going all hot mess on me.

"I am fine, just a lot on my mind." I said,

"I am crashing the night by the way," He told me.

"What? Why? Your dad kicked you out again! none of my business."

"No, but I can't hold back from you. I want to, and you know there ain't no rest for the wicked."

I shoock my head, expecting a bit of a longer night then. Here is when I thought the night was coming to an end, Jimmy my fuck buddy shows up.

Talk about pressure to please,

Having had walked the night until Jimmy was past asleep on my bed, I took my car keys making my way back to the hospital not quite sure what I was doing.

I became anxious, at the sight of her room.

Where could she possibly be? To where could they have taken her. "Hey! excuse me, The girl who was here where is she?"I paced at one of the nurses.

"Ms. Rizzo?" The nurse asked me more of a rhetorical question looking through the notepad in her hand.

"Room, 225" She told me, "2nd Floor, down the hall to the right." She instructed.

"How's she?" I asked

The red haired med twenties woman smiled at me, "She woke up, but is on heavy meds she should recover within the coming few days. But she's stable," She smiled sweetly.

I noded thanking her.

I made my way up towards her room, I knocked and slipped my body into the room being greeted by a rather unexpected segment.

Or at least what I'd not dare to call midnight shenanigans.

Hello beautiful readers,

What do you think so far?

Who is Xander to you?

Word 1690

iamsayad Here's a quick update to motivate you into getting started on the journey 😈😉😉

walkingecho My newest Friend who's amamzing plot maker. 😆😆

NinjaWolfFox The Winner 😉😀😊

Lhoore_writes Hi! Thought I should make your exestence prominent 😆😆

urfavmarnon Forever I know I was supposed to wait longer for the new update - but excitement bet me.

harlenabee I have not heard from ya. Minu 😢😢

srk776 I have so many things to tell me, 😈😉

18th of April, 2020 @ 8:03 AM

Mimi 😊