CHAPTER TWELVE

       No one actually knew what happened.

      One day, Oikawa and Misaki were laughing and talking with each other as they usually did. And the next day, the hostility and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. And the day after that. And the day after that as well. Three days of intense tension, fury and hostility pooled up between the two (former) best friends. Even Iwaizumi, surprisingly, didn't know what had happened. All he noticed was Misaki was staying as far away from Oikawa as she could, even choosing to walk nearly seven feet away from them. How long had it been since they had fought like this? He couldn't even remember. Because his two best friends never fought, not truly. And so he knew whatever that had happened between them had been very serious.

       But neither of them were walking about it and Iwaizumi knew they wouldn't, not for a while. Both his best friends were idiotically stubborn like that.

      Misaki, though...she was incredibly angrily, heartbroken and sad, all at the time. These emotions, piled up together, were not a good combination at all. On top of that, her dad had flown out to Tokyo.

      'Apartment hunting,' He had said. So everything was serious. It was real and not just a sick, terrible nightmare she was having. No matter how Misaki prayed, she would never wake up from it. It sucked. It all sucked. How are you supposed to correct all this? How? What was the answer to it all?

       Was there even a way to correct it? Or everything was just non-existent.

      Overbearing. Annoying. Those words continued to echo in her mind. Stupid Oikawa, Misaki thought. Stupid him for saying that. But it wasn't like some of his statements were wrong. There was an underlying truth in them and if he had explained it better, maybe she could have accepted it then. Misaki refused to believe what he had said.

       Sure, she tended to put others' well-being before herself, but that's what a good person did, right? And as a manager, that became more important. The well-being and the health of her team came before anything else, even herself. So what if she didn't tell anyone how she didn't feel good enough sometimes? Or how she thought those so-called 'high observational skills' were nothing much? It was just that she was good at picking up if people were hiding things or whatever they felt. And when it came to herself, she just dealt with it.

        Misaki liked facing things alone.

      (Deep down, she hated facing things alone. She wished she could talk to someone.

        But she never will.)

     (Her feelings are her own burden. No one else's.)

      It was recess and she chose to sit alone. The moment the bell rang, she took out her bento, put it on her desk and started silently eating. She would have sat with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, like she usually did but most of the times, Oikawa and Iwaizumi joined them and she definitely did not want to be in close proximity with him outside of practice. She'd apologise for ditching them later.

       Lucky for her, her classroom was mostly empty. Barely any people were there to see her stupid emo mode.

      'Emotions are hard to deal with,' Misaki silently thought. 'It's a mess. It's a whole damn mess and I hate it.'

       The sound of a cough broke her train of thoughts. She put down her chopsticks and looked up, meeting the eyes of one of her classmates. Sakura Tachibana stood right in front of her desk, a slightly hopeful expression on her face.

     "Uhh, Katsuragi-san, I'm sorry to disturb you," Sakura's voice was loud and a little sharp, almost like Oikawa's before puberty hit him like a massive rock. "But I was hoping you could help me out with that presentation thing for English we have next week. You're one of the top students in our class and I'd be so appreciative if you could."

      Sakura kind of reminded her of a lost puppy and since Misaki loved puppies, she couldn't really say no. She smiled like always did, motioning for Sakura to sit at the desk in front of her. "Sure, sure. I'd love to help. And you didn't really disturb me or anything."

      "Oh thanks a lot!" Sakura fell into the chair, looking rather relieved. "You are really so nice, Katsuragi-san."

       Misaki laughed, a little weak, as she put away her bento inside her desk. "You flatter me, Tachibana-san. But not that that matters; what did you need help with?"

      "Right so, you know Hamlet right? I honestly could not get through it and I barely understood half of what was going on and..."

      As Sakura went on a tirade about how Hamlet was confusing and tough and difficult to understand, Misaki unwillingly thought back to Oikawa's words. Was this what he meant? That this eagerness to help people (even when she was not at her best) was selfish? Was it wrong to hate seeing people in trouble? Was it wrong to want to help?

     (It wasn't.)

     (But who would help her believe that now?)

      Practice.

      If there was any way to ditch practice, Misaki Katsuragi was ready to do it. But deep, at the bottom of her heart, she couldn't really do it. Her routine had already been disrupted by all that had happened so far; if anything else happened, then she would actually cry. (She hadn't cried yet. All she had felt was anger. Crying and the tears were yet to happen.)

     Practice though. It was important.

     But everything felt so heavy. Even walking to the girl's changing room felt like she was walking through some thick clay. Almost like she was walking through half-frozen cement. It felt heavy; it felt too heavy and she wanted this feeling to go away. Almost halfway there, she met Yuki and maybe it was because of the first year's lighthearted and slightly enthusiastic attitude, but Misaki felt a tiny bit better.

     Bless Yuki and her heart.

     They entered the changing room together. Misaki went to her locker and with slightly trembling hands, opened it. She took in a deep breath and started pulling off her uniform and putting on her Seijoh tracksuit. But things were still weighing down on her shoulder; more like her soul. Letting things fester inside, letting everything build up to the point where all she could feel was anger, hurt and pain...it felt terrible.

      How exactly do you deal with things you've never dealt with before?

      How the hell do you mourn for a friendship you thought that you thought would never break? And how do you mourn for the shattered relationship of your parents and your broken relationship with them?

      It hurt. It hurt. She rubbed her water eyes; all Misaki wanted, was this feeling to fucking stop.

      Yuki, meanwhile, was talking away, just as she usually did. "So then, that guy almost fell off his chair and I turn to the right and I see Kunimi, freaking Kunimi of all people, trying not to laugh out loud. That was a sight to behold. And Misaki-san, you should've-wait, you've been kind of quiet. Are you -"

     She trailed off the moment she noticed Misaki on the floor, head against her locker. Her right hand was raised to her eyes and she was constantly rubbing at it, while her left was holding onto her skirt so tight that Yuki thought she might accidentally tear it.

    "Oh, you're not okay," Yuki said out loud, before mentally slapping herself. 'Way to state the obvious, stupid.' She crouched down next to Misaki, putting a very soft hand on her shoulder.

    "Misaki-senpai, what's wrong?" Yuki asked quietly. Why was she crying? She never cried. Yuki would have never imagined seeing Misaki like this; but that really wasn't relevant right now. The moment the question left her mouth, Misaki suddenly turned towards her with red-rimmed eyes and tackled her into an unexpected hug.

    "It's okay, it's okay," Yuki patted the older girl's back as she cried into her jacket. Utterly silent but at the same time, so loud. "Let it all out. I'm here. I'm right here."

     'Was this because of that fight between Oikawa-senpai and Misaki-senpai? Did it hurt her that much? Damn.' Yuki knew Oikawa and Misaki had a special relationship. They knew everything about each other. Even from spending a few months with them, she saw that they had this strange bond that felt so unique and so weirdly sacred, like it was unbreakable. But something had happened. Something had caused this relationship to fray and snap like a wire that was stretched beyond its limits.

     Misaki's sobs slowly died out, but she hadn't let go of Yuki yet and maybe that was for the best. Yuki gently patted her back, showing that she was there. That she was right there for her. After all, Misaki was a good person, a truly good person at heart.

      "S-sorry," Misaki apologized with a slightly cracked voice. "I'm sor-sorry."

       "Don't apologise!" Yuki immediately said, her voice a little loud. "You don't have anything to apologise for; you didn't do anything wrong."

         "I feel like I did," Misaki murmured roughly. "I feel like I did everything wrong and now it's just..."

        "No. I'm sure whatever happened, it was not your fault. So don't blame yourself."

        "You don't even know what happened."

        "But I do know you, right? So I know you haven't done anything wrong. It's not your fault at all."

       "Then why the hell does it feel like it is?" Misaki questioned, angrily now. "I failed at noticing things and now, it's coming back to bite me in the ass."

       '....What? What does she mean?' Yuki thought. Out loud, she said the same thing. "What do you mean you failed? What happened, Misaki-senpai? But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I won't force you to say anything."

      Unexpectedly, Misaki opened her mouth and words stumbled out, like the lid of a jar being thrown open. The more Yuki heard it, the more she felt like Misaki's parents were the biggest assholes and the more she felt like hitting something. She usually didn't get angry, but the way her senior was explaining how things had gone down at her house just made her so very mad. And when she heard what Oikawa had said to Misaki, Yuki was damn well ready to plot a murder.

      Yuki took out her phone and not even in a joking way, she started typing 'How to plot a murder...'

      "What are you doing?" Misaki asked curiously.

       Yuki just turned her phone around, showing her the home screen with her search half-typed. Google also showed the rest of the results. Misaki almost choked on her own spit.

       "W-what? Yuki, damn. Are you secretly an evil person?"

        "No! It's nothing like that!" Yuki shook her head vehemently. "I just...I kind of get mad when people hurt my friends, but I let it out by secretly planning their murder and then I burn whatever I write."

       "Yikes. So you aren't as innocent as you look, are you?" Misaki said with the tiniest look of awe and laughter.

       "Nope, I have a secret dark side," Yuki winked, a playful grin on her face. "Maybe it's because of all the horror and detective manga I've read. But on a more serious note," The look on her face turned grave. "I don't think you should attend practice, not today at least."

        "What?" Misaki looked very surprised. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

        "You almost had what looks like an anxiety attack, I think if that's the correct term?" Yuki said calmly. "Go home and rest. I know you're my senior and all, but let me use my authority as the manager to tell you to rest. You're important to the team too, you know? Oikawa-senpai was an ass in saying what he did, but technically he was right in the fact that you kind of disregard yourself when you help others. Take some time for yourself."

      Misaki let out a sigh. "You know I've not taken a day off from the team in ages right? Probably in like a year or so? Those guys would be pretty suspicious."

      "Don't worry," Yuki patted Misaki's shoulder. "I can tell a convincing lie. I'll just say you were feeling pukey and had a headache so you went home. I don't think the coaches will mind that."

       "You really want me to go home, don't you?"

       "Yes, please. Go home. And rest, don't forget to rest. Like please rest. You need to rest. And think good thoughts. Maybe about your favorite anime or manga or something. And drink - "

       "Yuki," Misaki suddenly placed a hand over Yuki's mouth, cutting off her rambling. After a moment, she removed it. "I get it. I'll go home and rest. If that's what you say."

        Yuki smiled at her, utterly kind and so very sweet. The urge to adopt her as a sister suddenly returned. And it's not like what she had been wrong. Deep down, Misaki knew she needed a break but she would never (ever) admit that out loud. But rest. Resting was important. It was important and Misaki needed it now, more than ever.

      "I'll go home," Misaki said. "Maybe I need to rest a little. It's needed."

       "Uh huh," Yuki nodded. "You should probably get off the floor though. And it's still five minutes to practice, so don't you worry about me being late, okay? Just get home and rest."

     "Will do. And Yuki?"

     "Yeah, what is it, Misaki-senpai?"

     "Thank you. Thank you so much. You're a truly good person and a good friend."

     (And if Yuki turned a blazing red at the compliment, Misaki just chose to ignore that, but with a slight smile.)

***

CHAPTER EXTRAS

(^^ ignore the timestamps in the text messages. they don't matter in the context of the story)

WE LIVE FOR PROTECTIVE! YUKI

I feel like in the second part of this chapter, I kind of skimmed over the fact that Misaki basically had an anxiety attack, but it's kind of inspired by my own struggles. But I will touch up on this in the next few chapters. So yeah, this is much shorter compared to that previous one, but I feel like the first part is one of my favorite things that I've written for this fic for now. I did enjoy putting myself in Misaki's mind and writing down what she felt. As for Sakura, she'll be important in a few chapters. I won't say why though  😉😉

And as for those texts with Iwaizumi, they're just a fun little thing that I thought would look nice in the chapter; maybe I'll make some for every chapter. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

IMPORTANT CARRD LINKS

(these two have a comprehensive list of carrds regarding various important issues. make sure you all check them out!!)

https://dotherightthing.carrd.co/

https://currentinfo.carrd.co/