(SPOILERS FOR THE HAIKYUU MANGA!)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

      What are you going to do in the future?

      Misaki had always dreaded that question. She never had an answer for it. Hearing this question from she turned fifteen to now; it had created a heavy sense of foreboding inside her. What did she wanna become? As a child, she had been indecisive. As an eighteen-year-old with graduation around six months away, she was even more so. What did she wanna do? Who did she wanna become when she grew up? These were heavy questions with equally heavy answers.

     Misaki considered herself lucky though. Neither of her parents had ever forced her to do one single thing; they had always given her the choice to be whoever she wanted to be and do whatever she wanted to do. There was a high chance that this degree of independence was causing her indecisiveness. Because when it came to deciding what career she wanted to go for, Misaki had too many choices she could pick from. Journalism, sports medicine, photography maybe, psychology or something in advertising and design like her mom or maybe even teaching. An uncertain heart almost made her pick law, just to be safe, but that definitely wasn't for her.

     And so when the school reopened in the last week of August and the time came for the third years to fill in their career and college choices form, Misaki was still in an utterly confused state. She had barely narrowed down her options to three.

      Sitting in the classroom, the form on her desk and a pencil in her hand, Misaki had yet to touch the pencil to paper. 'What's my first choice going to be? Psychology? Journalism? Both of them are good fields, but I don't know what to pick.'

     "Five more minutes," Her teacher suddenly called out. "I want you all to be very careful while filling out your choices. Don't just put anything."

      The only thing Misaki was sure about was going to the University of Tokyo. That had always been her top choice because it was a pretty prestigious university. And as far as she knew, amongst the third years, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were also applying there. Iwaizumi was applying abroad (mainly the US) for sports medicine. Surprisingly, she had no clue what Oikawa was doing. He hadn't mentioned anything about his career plans to her. Though, she knew that Oikawa would continue to play volleyball.

     'Maybe I should just select journalism as my top choice. That sounds easy enough,' Misaki thought as she finally put her pencil to the form, slowly writing down her choice. 'The other two can be photography and psychology. Yeah, I think I'll go with that.'

     She finished writing the choices just as the bell rang to single the end of the period and of the day. All around her, her classmates heaved sighs of relief (or stress maybe).

      Up at the front of the classroom, their teacher was gathering her things. "Those who are absolutely sure about their choices can submit the form to me. Others, you will have time till Friday to submit your forms."

     Misaki looked down at her form and her choices. Was she sure about them? Maybe. In no way did she think her choices were bad. The problem lay in her uncertainty about all of them, though she was leaning towards journalism a teeny-tiny bit.

     Choosing careers? That was probably one of the hardest things she was going to have to do. Misaki felt like she had the strangest feeling that she was about to face an existential crisis very soon. With a deep breath, she gathered all her supplies and put them in her bag. Some of her classmates had already left; some had submitted their forms already while others were taking them home.

     Misaki got up from her desk, grabbing the form and her bag. She was just going to give it today. Yeah. No more being indecisive.

     Walking behind Sakura and Himeko, Misaki was one of the last few to reach the teacher's desk. A flash of uncertainty went through her again. Was she really that sure? In front of her, both Sakura and Himeko had submitted their forms. Misaki smiled at them as they turned around to say goodbye.

    Misaki took in a deep breath. Releasing it, she placed the form on top of the stack on the table, thanked her teacher and walked out of her class. The moment she stepped out the classroom door, she sighed in relief. That was done. She didn't have to think about it for a while. She could relax, even if it was just a little bit. The corridor outside was slowly emptying as people started going home and those who had club activities went to their clubs.

    'Well then,' Misaki thought. 'I should also get going.'

      When Misaki arrived at the girl's changing room, Yuki was already there and had started changing.

      "Oh hello, Misaki-senpai!" Yuki greeted brightly as she shut the door to her locker. "How was your day?"

      "Good, I guess?" Misaki answered as she dumped her bag on the floor. She made her way to her own locker. "Us third years had to fill out those career forms today so that was kind of weird. I was not looking forward to it at all."

     "Oh, why is that?" Yuki asked, looking at the older girl. "I'm sure whatever you've chosen; you'd be good at that."

     "Thanks for saying that, Yuki," Misaki answered with a half grin. "But I don't even know if what I picked is suitable. I literally just went with the first thing that came to my mind. This whole choosing your career thing is a pain. Actually growing up is a pain in general. I can't believe I'm going to have to start acting like an adult in a few months."

      "That's just life, I think?" Yuki said, sounding unsure. Misaki merely chuckled as she pulled off her school shirt and put on the turquoise gym t-shirt.

      "Yeah, well, life's kind of a bitch," She answered plainly as she finished changing into her gym clothes. "But anyway, this whole thing's gotta wait. We've still got a tournament to win."

      Misaki grabbed her clipboard and shut the door to her locker. With a rather wicked grin, she turned towards Yuki. "Let's whip those boys into shape."

      Yuki grinned back. "Yeah, let's do that."

      *

       Misaki and Yuki arrive at the gym at their usual time. After them, the team slowly arrived, each of the players beginning their warm ups. While Yuki was conversing with the coaches, Misaki was at the manager's bench, taking a note of the towels and the water bottles of the player. Once she was done with the counting, she went to pick up her clipboard, but before she could do so, Iwaizumi's voice called her name.

      "Oi Misaki," He said, sounding (and looking) weirdly serious. "Did he tell you about it?" Iwaizumi jabbed his thumb in the direction of the coaches, where Oikawa was currently talking to them, also with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face. Yuki was awkwardly standing next to the group, fiddling with her thumbs.

       Misaki turned to face him, standing up straight. "Tell me what?"

      "So he didn't tell you?" Iwaizumi asked.

      "I have zero clue about what you're saying, Iwa," Misaki replied. And really, she had no idea what Iwaizumi was trying to say. Was Oikawa hiding something from them or...? "So no, Oikawa didn't tell me anything. What are you talking about anyway?"

      "You shouldn't hear it from me then," Iwaizumi stated. "You should hear it from him. I think he's gonna tell the whole team anyway."

      "What happened that he wants to tell the whole team about it?" Misaki questioned. "Did he get scouted or something?"

       "Well, not exactly," Iwaizumi said. Just that very moment, Oikawa finished his talk with the coaches. Taking the opportunity, Yuki speed-walked over to the manager's bench, coming to a stop right beside Misaki and Iwaizumi.

       "Well, that was something," Yuki breathed out. Before either Misaki or Iwaizumi said anything to her, Oikawa called out for the whole team, his voice echoing across the gym.

       "Everyone, can I have your attention for a second?"

       Warm-ups came to a screeching halt as the team slowly gathered around Oikawa, with Misaki, Iwaizumi and Yuki standing at the back of the group. Judging by the curious looks on all the team's faces, no one had any clue what was going. No one, except for Iwaizumi and now Yuki who must have listened to whatever it was while Oikawa was talking to the coaches.

      Misaki crossed her arms and almost took in a heavy breath, anticipating something rather big. It must be, if Oikawa hadn't mentioned a thing to her and if Iwaizumi looked that serious knowing about it. But why hadn't he told her yet? Was it some sort of a secretive thing that he wanted to tell her along with the rest of the team? But why had he told Iwaizumi first? Misaki suddenly had so many questions.

      Oikawa scanned the group and somehow, out of everyone his eyes met hers. Misaki only stared back, the curious look still on her face. Very slightly, his tensed up shoulders relaxed.

      "I got scouted."

      'So my guess really was correct. That's amazing news though; I wonder why he didn't tell me about it,' Misaki thought with elation as the team let out sounds of awe and cheering. Of course, they'd be happy for their captain. And so was she.

       'I wonder which team is it? Maybe the Falcons because of Mr. Blanco?' Misaki thought, thinking back to the Argentine setter who Oikawa often went to for advice. 'Or is it Raijin?' Oikawa was the type of player all division 1 V-league teams would run after. So, if any offers were to come for him, it would be from those teams.

       "By a team in Argentina."

       Misaki's heart very nearly stopped. Argentina? How-? Argentina meant overseas. 'Overseas? He's going overseas? An overseas team? What-?'

       She was proud of him; of course she was. But she was so utterly confused. Overseas. If Oikawa took them up on the offer, then it would mean him leaving; him moving away. Away from Japan. Away from Miyagi. Away from her. The team continued to cheer for Oikawa, and Misaki managed to keep a calm face with a rather pleased grin. But internally, the whole thought of Oikawa going overseas was slowly taking over her mind.

      'Him going overseas? I am proud but what does it mean? What's gonna happen then? He's going to take the offer, I know.'

       Misaki suddenly bit the inside of her cheek. 'What's gonna happen when he moves? Am I not going to get to see him anymore? That's...wait, I'm thinking a little too ahead, aren't I? I shouldn't think too far. He's here now, right? That's all that really matters.'

       But something inside her was now slowly, very slowly, building up. 'Once he leaves, he's gonna leave you behind,' Her brain was really trying to screw with her. 'You know he's aiming for glory, right?'

      'And I want that for him,' Misaki thought, as the team started bombarding Oikawa with questions about the offer.

     'But now, what do I want for myself? I want him around. But he's not going to be if he takes up the offer, which he definitely will.'

       Tooru Oikawa, Hajime Iwaizumi and Misaki Katsuragi. They had all been around each other for so long. Even if one suddenly moved away, everything would change completely. And it would be too weird. Life without either Oikawa or Iwaizumi by her side would be so strange. The trio had been together for so long. Oikawa leaving would disrupt everything. Would Misaki really not get to see him anymore if he left? That felt painful.

      Whatever was gonna happen in her future was going to happen. Misaki wasn't sure about anything right now. But Oikawa was sure about everything. For him, his future was set in stone. He was going to continue playing his volleyball.

      'But is he going to leave me behind?'

       (I don't want him to.)

      "So why didn't you tell me?"

        That was the only question Misaki could voice out loud. Everything else just felt too stupid to ask out loud. The sun was slowly starting to set as she and Oikawa walked towards her home, just having said goodbye to Iwaizumi at his own house. Somehow, Oikawa had taken on the 'responsibility' of walking her home. Whatever he meant.

         Misaki punched his shoulder again. "Don't you have an answer for me?"

        "Ouch! Misa-chan, you hit hard. That one actually hurt." Oikawa almost cried out, stepping a tiny bit away from her.

        "Good," Misaki answered. "It was supposed to. So? Why didn't you say a thing? I mean, as far as I know, CA San Juan is one of the top clubs in the Argentine League. You should have told me."

       "I'm sorry. Are you mad?" Oikawa, at least, looked a little apologetic.

       "Oh god, no. Why would I be mad? You're gonna play for a really good team. I'm proud. Just a little hurt that you didn't say anything to me before everybody else. Thought I was supposed to be your best friend and all."

      ('Oh god, shut up Misaki. You sound stupid.') Misaki hated the way her brain let her speak such things without thinking. She really hated it. And now, Oikawa was staring down at her, with a weirdly serious look. They were pretty close to her house now; just a few more minutes till she could lay down on her bed and scream about all that was going through her head.

      "Misa-chan," Oikawa suddenly stopped walking and grabbed her shoulders, staring at her with such an intense look that she immediately felt her cheeks flare up. "Whatever happens, you know you'll always be my best friend. You and Iwa-chan. Nothing will ever change that."

       "But that still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me about it," Misaki answered, somehow managing to keep her composure. Oikawa's hands were still on her shoulders and he was pretty close to her. Pretty close. "How long ago did you get this offer? When did you accept it? How did the club find out about you? When will you leave?"

      "I got it a week ago. I accepted immediately," Oikawa replied. "There was no doubt in my mind. This is what I want to do and I am sure about it. And as for when I have to leave, it will be after graduation. I'm here till then. And the club found out because I did apply there; I sent in some videos of our matches and I think one of their scouts was visiting during the Inter-High."

     "Wow, that's...that's really amazing," Misaki replied, hesitating slightly. 'He is still holding on to my shoulders. When is he gonna let go? Not that I want him to...but this whole situation...' "I mean, you've got it all planned out. I'm a little shocked, but I am very proud of you."

      "Oh, you are?" Oikawa suddenly sounded hopeful and relieved and his grip on her shoulders slackened. Still, he was holding onto her.

      "I'm always gonna be," Misaki said, keeping a small but calm smile on her face. "You were always meant to do great things. But don't let that get to your head. There's still the Spring High qualifiers."

      "And we're gonna win."

      "Oh definitely. We will."

       Misaki almost expected it; Oikawa released her shoulders, but instead, pulled her into a hug. His arms went around her, holding very close. Her bag almost slipped out of her hand as she hugged him back. She lived for moments like these; where Oikawa wasn't that perfect, unattainable person, where he showed vulnerability. Where he appeared truly human. Misaki felt very happy and very privileged that she was one of the few people that got to see this side of him.

      Oikawa wasn't letting go. Misaki wasn't letting go either.

      Oikawa suddenly mumbled something, but Misaki couldn't understand it. "What was that? Did you say something?"

       "Nothing," He immediately said. "Just a random thought."

       "Okay. But are you gonna let me go now? Don't we both have to go home?" Misaki murmured.

       "Let's just stay like this for a little while longer," Oikawa quietly pleaded.

       "Okay," Misaki answered. "That's perfectly okay." ('Oh god, that is not good for my heart. Not good for my heart at all.')

         She wouldn't lie though. She loved this. She really loved this. Quite frankly, Misaki loved this a lot more than she should. Being hugged by Oikawa? That feeling was incomparable. Nothing really could match up to it.

         Misaki really loved him...wait. Wait. Wait. Loved him? Loved him? 

         What? She just meant she loved his hugs. 'No, you do love him,' The annoying part of her brain said to her. 'You said you love him.'

         Immediately, still stuck in the hug, Misaki could feel her cheeks heat up. 'Wait, I don't love him. Do I? Do I? What?'

       'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? He's my friend. He's nice. He's a good captain. I just admire him. When does love come in the picture?'

       'It's always been there,' The same annoying part of her brain spoke again. 'You just refused to recognize it. You love him. More than you realise. More than a friend.'

       'Shut up, conscience. Shut up. Do I actually feel that way? I don't.'

       'You're hugging him and you're thinking about how much you love this and nothing compares. You feel proud but also shaken up that Tooru's going to leave for Argentina and leave you behind. You think him leaving is going to change everything for you. You won't get to see him everyday anymore. Let's not forget you think he is pretty. Accept it. You love Tooru.'

      'I-I-what? I'm what? What? L-love. Love. Actual romantic love. Not platonic. Romantic love. Fucking romantic love. I actually have romantic feelings for my best friend. I'm a cliche. Wow.'

      Oh god.

     Oh god.

     Oh my fucking god.

     'When did this even happen? Just when? When did I become a literal cliche?'

     Feelings. So many feelings. Misaki was utterly screwed.

FINALLY. IT HAPPENED. Both Misaki and Oikawa have admitted their feelings for each other now.

Misaki's conscience is literally all of us. And yes, her conscience refers to Oikawa by his first name. The start of this chapter was literally me during high school; it took me a very long to decide what I actually wanted to do and I think a lot of us can relate to this indecisiveness, especially when it comes to the future.

I can tell you that this is just the start of all the fluff; there's so much more coming. Like a lot more. Till then, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!!