"My child do not be so hard on yourself."

"That is what I tell myself too."

We continue walking until we reach another bench that is forest-like with it surrounding beautiful butterflies.

"Here is another video."

This video is my graduation where I did not dare cry (even if everyone is sniffing and have puffy eyes) because I think it is lame and I will ruin my face. I was both ecstatic and annoyed at the same time, both because I'd finally get my diploma but the ceremonies took about hours and I had to walk long to get up the stage. I was proud of myself here. I was feeling good with what I accomplished even with small things. I worked hard for that piece of paper.

"You work hard and sometimes not all of your hard work have paid off right?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Yes it is but that is part of life and that is a way for you to get back up, work harder than the last time and improve yourself. You yourself is a work in progress."

I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS.

"Until such time you are fully complete, glorious, and contented that finally you are happy."

"I guess..."

"You were a leader in many tasks, do you like leading?"

"Yes, I enjoy it and I admit I get bossy most of the time because as much as I enjoy it I would still prefer to complete a task by myself anytime. It is also hard for me to control myself most of the time that is why when I get in a bad mood I bring it everywhere I go, even at home and it does not end well."

"Tell me my child, do you get hurt when you hurt someone else?"

"Yes, very much so or I think it is guilt I am experiencing."

"Absolutely human with compassion. Do you see that within yourself?"

"Sometimes."

And another video; this one shows my life in college, more adventures and more pressure. How I lose interest in a thing or two which I considered to be precious to me and how an inspiration served for me to get better and do things I love. How I lose friends I thought are so important to me, how I lose people I thought a huge squander on my part, how I lose money, how I lose sleep and many other things, how I lose my sanity--how I lose myself.

I am feeling warm but at the same time heavier in this journey of walk with Jesus.

And then another video; this one shows the moments I ask God about so many why's and where it came to a point I questioned His plans for me and questioned myself so much. It is crushing me to watch this beautiful girl full of potentials and serves a purpose give up on herself.

"Devastating."

"I agree...", I said I agree because tears are now streaming down my face.

I did not think about my family, my real friends, and God about how lowliest than I am they would feel if I give up. So much was invested in me and so many opportunities awaits me.