TWO-YOONGI
MARCH 31
18 : 09 KST

"my plan is in kind of a sequence, you get?" hoseok explains. "you need to start things out slow first. you build your way slowly and then when you're on top—bam! that's when you do your big punch line."

"what?"

"never mind," hoseok sighs. "okay, so first. work things out with your future bride-charm her."

"i've got to say," yoongi started charmingly, looking up at her. "you look really gorgeous tonight."

she blushed, flattered. his future "bride" was the only daughter of their family's partner company. she was his age and she had good genes-as what yoongi had observed. it wasn't as if he was attracted to her—hell, he hated this bitch. sure, she might've been an outstanding student back in university as the summa cum laude of her graduating batch, not to mention she was an exact representation of a princess charming when handling other men except yoongi (basically being the perfect girl)—but still, he loathed her.

"you're a hundred times more attractive when you're not an asshole, yoongi," she laughed quietly. "but thank you."

an asshole? an asshole? he wasn't an asshole! sure, the both of them might have had their fair share of arguments during family dinners, but he surely wasn't an asshole like she said he was! yoongi clenched his wine glass, giving her a tight smile.

"i only speak the truth."

the rest of the night was a painful mess. his future bride (not) showed an obvious interest towards him and it was just painful to watch. yoongi had to fake his way through everything and like what hoseok said—fake it 'til you make it.

the night was finally over—thankfully—and yoongi had to escort her to her ride outside (which he thought was completely unecessary,) but he had to follow what hoseok had advised or he was surely going to mess things up. one mistake could lead to a painful demise.

"thanks for tonight, yoongi," she smiled. "i really enjoyed it."

yoongi faked a smile. "i enjoyed it, too."

it stayed silent for awhile as if she was debating to do something. yoongi wanted to tell her to just fucking leave, but of course, he couldn't do that and he shouldn't. yoongi's eyes widened when she started leaning in towards his face—it was crystal clear she was leaning in for a kiss with those puckered lips of hers. min yoongi wanted absolutely no part of this mess, so he swerved.

he swerved his head so fucking fast.

she ended up only kissing his cheek.

thankfully.

she looked disappointed. yoongi cracked a nervous smile. "sorry, i saw a bug."

APRIL 01
8 : 00 KST

"she will immediately tell dad about how stunning you were, or something. since he's the key to all this, it'd be important to convince him as well," hoseok explained. "that way he'd be a little less tight and doubtful about you trying to get away."

"i've got to say, i am quite impressed." his dad raised a brow, an amused smile plastered on his face. "just a couple of days ago, you were savaging like a wild animal, begging me to give your car back. and now you're . . . how do i put this? disciplined."

yoongi wanted to snap. what was with everyone telling him he was better now than he was before? sure, he might have needed a little anger management, but that was it. it wasn't as if he was an entirely different person now than he was back then! he was still the same yoongi, although slightly. . . tamed. but nevertheless! it was still part of the plan. he needed to keep going. he just needed to keep pushing until he made it, although he already felt the need to rage right at that very moment.

"of course." yoongi faked a smile. he had never smiled this much before. "i realized i acted too irrational back then. i was only thinking about myself and not for the sake of the company."

it took him an hour to practice those lines.

his dad looked at him weirdly, but yoongi kept smiling.

"you're not going to ask about the car?" his dad narrowed his eyes.

min yoongi wanted so badly to get his car back, but he fought the urge. with an overly tight smile, yoongi shook his head.

APRIL 05
23 : 00 KST

"and on the day of the wedding. . ."

"are you ready?" his mom asked him as he sat and looked at himself in the mirror. neatly groomed, with hair slicked back with no signs of frizz, and his suit clear from any folds and wrinkles. his mom smiled, leaning towards him and patting his shoulders. he was so nervous-so fucking nervous because hell, was this plan even gonna work?

he eyed hoseok through the mirror, who gave him a look of reassurance.

"i know you're nervous, son," his father said from behind him. yoongi just wanted to snap, because obviously, yes, he was so fucking anxious—he was straight up terrified. what if the plan failed and he ended up actually getting married? why was his dad even trying to relate to him? "but i just wanted you to know you made the right choice."

right choice, my ass.

his mother was about to leave the tent, gesturing his dad to follow her. yoongi immediately eyed hoseok through the mirror, and hoseok—who instantaneously got the message—slyly grabbed their dad's car keys that were sticking out of his pocket. hoseok glanced up in panic to see if their dad noticed, but fortunately, he didn't. their dad left the tent without even knowing his keys were missing.

"you got it?" yoongi was so near to hyperventilating.

"fuck, yeah, i did." hoseok grinned the biggest grin he could muster, putting the keys up in the air. "what'd you expect?"

"thank the actual heavens, hoseok," yoongi sighed in relief, so close to crying. he put a hand to his chest. "i thought we were going to get caught."

"don't worry, we wont." hoseok threw the keys towards his direction, and yoongi clumsily caught it. hoseok smirked, "now get out there. this still isn't over."

yoongi left the tent where he got ready. the wedding was held outdoors and the parking spot was just across the venue. fortunately for him, his dad parked his car majorly near to the entrance of the venue. therefore, it was going to be easy for him to escape—assuming he wouldn't make any mistakes and if his dad didn't assign extra security for him in case yoongi decided to act against his orders. but he didn't have to worry, right? hoseok planned this out carefully and mathematically-the boy was an expert.

the wedding was going to start in a few minutes. yoongi was already prepared standing near the priest's table like how every groom was supposed to be doing. people were already gathered in their silly attires, admiring the decorations and the contents of the venue.

they'll sure be in for a big surprise.

yoongi started to freak out when wedding music started to play loudly from the speakers. everyone started to turn their heads toward the entrance. people started cheering as soon as the bride started walking with her arm laced around her father's towards the front through the long, red carpet sprawled neatly on the grass. yoongi's eyes darted across the guests and saw his dad mouthing him a small 'good luck' from among them. he wanted to roll his eyes so bad. he needed more than just luck-he needed a fucking miracle.

the bride started to get nearer.

yoongi's palms were sweating.

yoongi tried to find where hoseok was at. hoseok eyed him with reassurance.

she was getting closer.

yoongi could see her face from beneath the veil, her long, flowing gown caressing the fabric below her feet. yoongi was nervous as fuck-he still hated her, though.

she let go of her father's arm and smiled up at yoongi. yoongi didn't even smile back because why would he?

the priest entered from the side and stepped behind the table, pushing his squared glasses up the bridge of his nose. he opened his folder, his bleary eyes trailing along the pages. it took a few seconds until he finally cleared his throat. "we have gathered today in this very special afternoon to celebrate the wedding of-"

yoongi caught hoseok's wide eyes. "now!"

yoongi made a run for it and dashed towards the entrance, leaving a series of gasps and yells from the guests. he snatched the hidden suitcase hoseok prepared near the entrace and ran. yoongi didn't even look back, he didn't even give a fuck about how anyone felt at that moment. hoseok calculated that it would take about 30 seconds before the guards came to answer their dad's call, according to past mischievous observations the sixteen year old did a few days ago. that meant yoongi only had limited time to escape—he had to be quick on his feet.

yoongi ran towards his dad's car.

25 seconds.

he fumbled for his dad's keys he put in his pocket. he picked a key, pushing it into the hole but to no avail. "fuck!"

20 seconds.

min yoongi panicked severely when he started to hear the approaching running footsteps coming toward his direction. "fuck, i forgot there's an automatic button for this."

yoongi pressed the button and the car instantly clicked.

15 seconds.

yoongi jumped onto the driver's seat, throwing his suitcase in the backseat.

". . . you do your big punch line."

as soon as security arrived, yoongi had already started the engine. they started yelling, threatening him to stop what he was doing. yoongi guffawed, starting to drive away when they attempted to start running after him with their bare feet. he laughed, sticking a middle finger out the window and screaming a big, fat,

"fuck you!"