Chad stared at the fine-China teacup in his hand, the small handle feeling fragile between his fingers. The tea remained half drained—it was cold outside; he was wet, and the Nepali in him wasn't about to say no to tea. But the other part of him, the part that couldn't shake the heavy, dreadful feeling, could barely stomach the liquid, hence half-half.

June or Yumi—the name still foreign and unknown to him—had left him with pages that simply boiled down to 'I have many secrets, Chad, secrets I can't tell you myself 'cause I'm a coward, but secrets I don't want to keep anymore either. Here is my history, the people, and the places I once knew. Go learn for yourself who I am, and if you still want me by the end, I will be here, waiting for you at the place where we first met a month from now.'

He had already learned from Mrs Surve, the neighbour, that Ju—Yumi, hadn't been the perfect daughter her parents wanted her to be.

"The kinds of boyfriends she used to bring home ever since high school were all the cocky, useless ones. Once, her mother even told me, Yumi is just doing this to go against what they wanted... rebels, you know the kind..."

And no, Chad didn't know the kind, but he'd seen these odd beings while growing up, the rebels. He was that quiet 'good' kid they picked on for being too proper sometimes—more often than he wanted to admit, really. He didn't know what it was to be a rebel. The closest thing to one he knew was Jo, who could hardly be called a rebel. Their parents didn't really rule the roost with an iron fist and after their father left, their mother was soft. With no clear rules and expectations put on them, other than don't get pregnant or, in his case, don't get a girl pregnant, Jo had done whatever she wanted. Both of them had. Perhaps they got a few growls of disapproval, but that was it.

"But the last one she had caused the most problems in that house..."

With each of Mrs Surve's words, Chad could feel his energy sap. The woman she was describing felt nothing like the woman he was in love with.

Except for that first day, his mind reeled him back to the day in the park. He had caught a rare glimpse of June as she had been, the one Mrs Surve and her parents had known. The wild child. The fierce child. A rebel. All the foul language she had hurled at him then now made sense. That had been her true self, this June Amari he didn't know.

"... every day, the mother and daughter would bicker over it, yelling and screaming at each other..."

Chad twirled his cup nervously. "Why were they fighting so much? What was wrong with the guy?"

He finally looked up to catch Mrs Surve, puzzled.

"Well, where do I start?" she asked and Chad sensed he was about to regret hearing what she had to say next. "For one, I think the guy was well over ten years her age..."

Chad squirmed a little in his seat and looked at his sister. He was about ten years older than Yumi too, wasn't he? The age Mrs Amari might have fought her daughter over...

"Was that all? They fought because the guy was older?" Jo asked for him, giving his leg a supportive squeeze with her hand.

"Oh, heavens no. Joon—she was at least a decade younger than her husband. That was not a problem, you see. In our cultures, a few years' age gap isn't a big deal..." Mrs Surve slurped the last of her tea and poured out another cup.

"Then what was the problem?" Chad asked, feeling a knot in his throat.

"Oh." Mrs Surve sat her teapot down, leaned over the table, and glanced at the empty doorway before proceeding to whisper. "I heard he was a married man... but I never met the fellow, so I can't tell you for certain. A Harley-riding, married man! No wonder Joon, the mother, hated him... hated her daughter dating this man..."

Jo met his gaze, and he wondered if she was thinking the same thing as him. Ju—Yumi was having an affair with an older married man? The same June? The one that nearly bit his head off when she'd thought he was married... to Cassie? That June?

Chad cleared his throat. "Mrs Surve, what happened the night of the fire? Ju—Yumi thought it was her fault, the fire. Why would she think that?"

He wanted to hear anything but more about the 'guy' she was in love with. The married guy...

Mrs Surve looked from one sibling to another, a look of are-you-sure-you-want-to-hear-this, or maybe it was a surprise that the young ones didn't seem interested in gossip.

"Hmm, I don't know exactly what happened, but they were fighting again that night. They did not want her going out late at night... next thing I know, I hear the rumble of that stupid bike, around midnight I think, and then the slam of the front door. Joon yelling at her daughter in Japanese. An hour later, the house was on fire. They said it started in the girl's room."

"Her room?" It was Jo who asked in shock. "The fire started in her room?"

"That's what the fire guys said."

Chad suddenly felt he shouldn't have even had the half cup of tea. He was feeling a little ill. Had the fire been an accident? Or had she set it up and run away to be with her lover?

The latter felt impossible for the woman he knew—but you don't really know the woman, do you?

He clamoured up from his seat. Hesitant to stay any longer and hear more and more things that made little sense.

"Thank you for your time and the tea, Mrs Surve," he said, proffering his hand. "You've been great help."

Mrs Surve, surprised by the sudden decision of her guest to leave, stood awkwardly and shook his hand. "Well, if you two need any more information, come back... or better yet, maybe talk to Mani about it. They were friends, her and my son."

Chad wanted to just end the day and go home to eat a tub of ice cream with Milo sprinkled all over it.

Jo, however, said, "Yes, that would be lovely, Mrs Surve. We would love to talk to your son."

Not me... I don't want to talk to anyone else about June, or Yumi, or whoever she is... not right now. Chad grimaced, but talk he must, if he ever wanted to find her, if only to ask her, 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'

"Hang on a moment. I'll get you Mani's work address and number." Mrs Surve disappeared briefly, only to come back with a post-it note scribbled with 'Manish Surve' and a number trailing after it.

As Chad took the piece of paper, he wondered what else he would find out about the woman he supposedly knew and loved from the Surve family.

"Thank you, Mrs Surve." Chad turned and left, hoping to God, Manish Surve had some good things to say. He needed to hear some good things about June.

Jo scampered after him, and from the way she was jittery beside him, he could tell she was bursting with too many questions, questions he did not have the energy to tackle.

He sucked in a steadying breath as they headed back to her car.