Dear Future Me,

Hola! I don't think there is any need for any type of introduction or such, as we both are (kinda) same. I added the kinda because I have hopes that you won't completely turn out like me. Yes, you will resemble me inside out and everything but still, my whole existence depends upon the hopes that you are not me.

Before you start complaining about how much pressure I'm putting on you - and as you aren't totally unlike me, I know you will complain - I just want to tell you that our survival depends upon you. Again, too much pressure, but well, it is what it is, I guess.

All of the letters that I've written in the past have been, in a way, about all of us as humans. Maybe this one is too, but I can't say for sure. All I know is that I'm writing really personally, so it's possible that no one else will relate to this, except me. And you, of course.

You might be thinking of something that I wrote up there, about our survival depending upon you. Before you make excuses to shrug it off - it's true. How? Well, I don't like me and I like you. Does that make sense? I guess it does to you, because you have known me.

See, there's this huge chasm between who and where I am and who and where I want to be. (I know I have to make efforts to make sure that you are who I want to be). Ignoring what has been happening lately, I can say that I'm a natural half-full-glass type of person, so, naturally, I sincerely hope that you are who I'm not. I don't want you to be caged in your own head and write weird, angsty stuff. Even if angst sometimes makes good art, I don't want you to be angsty because I know how hard it is. I want you to be able to say, "Been there, done that. It's not good, so I'm never going back to that place again", that place being the dark place of both of us.

I know, I know, we can't be totally free of that place. What I hope is that you become a temporary tenant there when I am the permanent one.

Now, as you might know (because, once again, you are like me somewhere in there), I'm not writing this from pure goodness of heart, as I would have done if I had written to someone else's Future Self or if I had written from us, humans. To remind you again, this is very personal and I'm writing with very, very selfish reasons. I'm writing this to make sure that the only hope to which I'm clinging right now is not truly fake. To remind myself that this will not last forever and to remind you that if you haven't straightened yourself up, do it! or there will be no chance of us meeting.

Don't grumble if I'm acting like a mom. I have your best at heart, as moms (usually) do. I want you to be able to sleep undisturbed; I want you to not cry yourself sick all the time; I want you to not know the meaning of tear-stained smiles. I want you to not live in the fear of anxiety all the time; I want you to not be scared. I want you to be able to draw the fine line between living and existing.

All the things that I can't do.

This is the good thing about writing to your own self. I can be honest as hell and you can't say I'm being overdramatic because I'm sure that will never change in us. Or in the people around us.

I know you remember where you were, where I am. We both are well aware how lousy this place is. If, by any chance, you forgot, take this letter as a healthy reminder. Something that we all know is that we can't appreciate the Highs if we don't know or remember the Lows. So, I'm reminding you of the Low that you suffered when it felt like there was no music out of the static noise.

I know that we can't ever be perfect and I believe that. I fully believe that. However, my point is, I want you to be closer to this Perfect than to Void, if that makes sense. Maybe in the coming weeks or months or years when you get this letter, you will laugh along the lines of, "How naive I was!" or "How angsty I was". I get it. I, too, have done that to the previous letters I got, in which I was someone's future self. Just remember that I mean all of this while I'm writing this. When I'm you, maybe I'll dismiss this as another whimsical scrawl of words on page, but maybe this is more than just that. I don't know, there's a whole lot of maybes here.

Some people wouldn't maybe even get the distinction among me, you and the past senders, but we three are very well acquainted with this mountain called change. We know that all three of us have a very nasty habit of dismissing something that our past self sent to us. Therefore, it's very necessary for me to highlight this to you - Stop That Habit.

Again, I'm saying this to you because I can't do that, just like all other stuff I've written so far. I'm telling you to come out of darkness because, I. Can't. If you already have, then congratulations and three words - Stay that way. It's not easy being in here.

I am being redundant as hell, but this point is important, so lemme mention again- our whole existence and all the chances of us meeting depend upon how you are because I am dependent upon you.

I hope, with everything I have, that you are not me and that you figure out who you are.

This is not everything I have to say  but I know you, even if you have forgotten me, so I know that any longer than this and you'll start as, "Damn, was I a teenager!" So yeah. I guess this is where this ends.

Love always,
Ray.

A/n: Listen to Billie Eilish's "My Future" and Harry's "Sign of the Times" after reading this.