Now, that I've seen Zach again, it became harder to shut him out again. The reasons behind my initial decision were still a little blurry. I didn't know whether there was some voice inside my head that wanted me to keep him at arm's length, for some reason I didn't remember. Or maybe the reason was what Maya said. Maybe I was just terrified. 

I've seen so many hurt people surrounding me, hurt over things I didn't remember and a part of me couldn't do that to Zach. I blamed myself for this when I shouldn't. I didn't choose to forget things that seemed important to others. I wanted answers. Granted, I was terrified of what I would find out but still, I needed to know. And Zach was a good support system. I could feel it in my bones. That didn't mean I was taking advantage of his good heart, did it? 

We didn't know what else to say to each other. He missed me and truth be told, I missed him too. So, before I could change my mind or talk myself out of it, I wrapped my small fingers around his hand. He looked like a giant compared to me but even before, every time he touched me he was so gentle. As if I was only seconds away from shattering. It almost didn't fit a man like him. 

A strand of his dirty-blonde hair fell over his forehead as his mismatched eyes found mine, a sense of confusion hiding behind his gaze. I didn't speak, I only gave him a small smile. 

I tugged him towards the front door of the apartment building and led him upstairs until we stood in the middle of my room. I wasn't even thinking about my actions. And because I didn't think it through, the drawings and paintings that resembled him way too much were still scattered everywhere. 

"Fuck," I mumbled under my breath and let go of his hand, hurrying to pick them up and store them out of his sight before he would get the wrong idea. Hell, I didn't even know why his face or, more importantly, his eyes popped into my head so often whenever I was painting. Maybe we were more than friends in another life. 

There was an article I read not that long ago. Souls that were connected in one life tend to find each other again. Once connected beyond the physical form, no one can escape the other again. Even if the way we drew hearts and the actual form of one. If you took two of them and sew them together, it's exactly the same shape. We needed each other not to exist but to actually live. And maybe he was the lost part of my soul. Maybe, somewhere in between the eons of existence, we became a part of each other and that was why it was so hard to let him go. 

His calloused digits wrapped around my hand as he stopped me from picking up the pieces of paper. I didn't even see him kneel in front of me until he touched me. But his eyes weren't on me. He was staring at the same pair put on paper. 

I held my breath. 

"Are those ... " 

I nodded. "I don't know why." 

He looked at me and I could tell he was calculating something. He was silent but his gaze told me that he was trying to piece something together. I just wasn't sure what it was. 

"I sometimes don't know ... what I'm drawing until ... " I fell silent and looked down at the painting of blue and amber. 

Zach was barely breathing at this point. He only leaned a little closer to me and I rerouted my gaze to meet his. My lips parted and I didn't dare to utter another word. His eyes were intense. He was trying to figure something out. His scent surrounded me and inhaled shakily, finding my own thoughts scattered around much like everything else in my life. But I felt at peace. 

My chest elevated and I, too, leaned just a little closer. His warm breath hit my lips and my grip around the paper tightened, leaving some creases. His eyes traveled down to my mouth and back to my eyes. I felt my heart pounding against my chest. I didn't know why I brought him here, I just ... It didn't even matter at this point. 

The distance between us was minimizing, the pad of his thumb brushing over my knuckles. 

"Zach ... " I whispered but my voice was barely audible. 

The front door slammed shut and we both flinched, falling backward on our behinds. I was harshly snapped back to reality and furrowed my eyebrows, looking at the door of my bedroom. My chest was heaving up and down from getting startled and from the intense moment just seconds prior. I looked over at Zach, only to find him already staring. 

"And I'm the loud sister," I grumbled and climbed back up to my feet. 

Zach ran his fingers through his hair to push them off his forehead and got up as well. His frame towered over me but he didn't look as tense anymore. I could almost see the dimples in his cheeks. 

"How long have you been drawing these?" he asked, ignoring the fact that my sister was lurking around in the apartment. 

My shoulders elevated into a shrug as I picked up the rest of the drawings. 

"I'm not sure. A while, I guess. It's kinda weird, actually ..." 

He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Weird how?" he asked. 

I had a hard time finding the words to explain because I didn't even understand it myself. Would it sound weird if I said that I feel like I've known him from before? It was absolutely ridiculous because we have just met a couple of months ago. 

"It's like ... " I took a deep breath. "It's like I knew I'd run into you at some point. The boy with mismatched eyes. When I look at these, it doesn't feel like I drew something I wish would happen." 

I sat on the bed and looked through my work before pulling out a paper with a pair of holding hands, surrounded by the colors of his eyes. 

He approached slowly, looking down at what I was showing him. 

"It feels like ... Something that happened. Once upon a time, I guess. Another life, maybe." I was just saying my thoughts out loud by that point. I had a hard time expressing myself outside of my art. That's why I started drawing in the first place. It was the only real language I knew. 

Almost reluctantly, I elevated my gaze to meet his. His features smoothed as soon as he noticed me looking at him. 

"What? You think I'm insane?" I asked, wondering what was going on in his head and what that expression meant. 

But instead, he grinned at me, those dimples finally adorning his cheeks again. "You missed me," he announced. 

My jaw slightly dropped at his accusation. "I ... did not." 

His dimples only deepened at my protest. What a cocky son of a bitch. Even if I did, I wouldn't admit it to him. I mean, I did miss him. A lot. More than I cared to even confess to myself. But after him saying it so confidently, there was no way I would say it. Was he always this sure of himself? 

"Yes, you di— oops," he suddenly cut himself off as he took a step back and elbowed a vase with fake flowers. The vase shattered on the hardwood floor and I stood up with my hands on my hips. 

"Okay, Zachary, listen here ... " I warned and he stared at me wide-eyed. "What?" 

"What did you call me?" he asked, perplexed. 

"Zach." 

"No, you said Zachary," he disagreed. 

"Well, isn't that ... your actual name? Either way, we need to make an agreement if you're planning on sticking around." 

Despite him just breaking something inside my room, his eyes looked so soft at that moment, it was almost alarming. 

"You are too ... " I waved my hands in front of me to emphasize his general body size. " ... fucking large to just be stomping around this place, okay? This is an apartment for five-foot something people. Not ... giants." 

He gave me a sheepish smile and looked down at his hands as his fingers fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket. I could've sworn his cheeks turned a little pinker but his skin was covered with a scruff so, I couldn't be completely sure. 

"Sorry," he said and peeked at me from under his bushy eyebrows. 

I couldn't deny the fact that he was absolutely adorable. Those big eyes of his made him look like a lost puppy sometimes. 

He knelt down and began to gather the broken pieces of the vase. 

"Hang on, I'm gonna get a broom," I said as I pulled the bedroom door open. I tried to ignore Maya, who sat on the couch, watching the television. The volume was low enough to make me believe she was eavesdropping. I mentally rolled my eyes as I made my way down the hall and grabbed a broom and a dustpan from the closet. Maya was fidgeting, I could see it in my perpetual sight. 

"What?" I snapped but kept my voice low. 

"He's here?" she asked, slowly removed her eyes from the TV screen she pretended to watch and looked at me. 

"Yes," I replied shortly. "Got a problem again?" 

"What are you doing, Via?" she asked, desperation audible in her voice. 

"I'm sorry, what am I doing?" I questioned and raised my eyebrows. 

She opened her mouth but then closed it without saying another word and looked back at the TV. Finally, she put the volume up to a normal number and I walked back into my bedroom. The annoyance she always awakened in me was getting out of hand and I was resenting my own sister. 

I closed the door behind me and leaned my back against it, the irritation causing me to almost forget that Zach was still there. I let out a heavy breath and combed my fingers through my hair.

"Everything okay?" Zach's voice reached me, causing me to flinch in place. "Sorry." 

I forced out a smile as I looked at him and he held out his hand for the broom. 

"Yeah, she's just ... getting weirder and weirder. Stealing my spotlight." 

That made him chuckle quietly as he swept the broken ceramics into one place and then I held the dustpan next to it to help him finish up. I poured the contents into a small trashcan and picked up the faux flowers from the floor. I sat on the foot of the bed and the mattress whined when Zach took a seat next to me. For a moment neither one of us spoke. I was still trying to get rid of the annoyance Maya raised in me and he seemed to be deep in thought. His body seemed tense and I was playing with the silk petals of the daisies. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, I leaned my head against his shoulder. His muscles seemed to relax and he shifted his arm until it was wrapped around my shoulders, holding me to his side. 

"Why did you call me tonight, Vivi?" he whispered then and the sound of his voice had me close my eyes. 

I bit on my lower lip once I stared at the ground again. I didn't have a real answer for him and I thought he figured it out. 

"You were on a date ... And you called me." 

It seemed that he was trying to figure it out on his own. 

Inhaling sharply, I attempted to gather my thoughts. 

"I don't know ... I was there with Tyler and he was nice and sweet and a gentleman," I said quietly, a small frown appearing on my forehead. "Then I just ... " I trailed off and paused. "Panicked. Because I was there with him and not with ... " 

He turned his head and looked at me. "Me?" he asked. 

I nodded. 

"Oh." He blinked but couldn't hide the small smile creeping, no matter how much he tried. 

I shifted uncomfortably. "We're friends, right?" 

I could feel his body tense up slightly again but he gave me a smile. "You are. I'm not," he replied, a twinkle passing his multicolored irises. 

I arched my eyebrows at him and he chuckled nervously, looking away from me. 

"Would it be completely out of line if I asked you to stay with me tonight?" 

He looked as surprised over my question as I was. But then his expression softened and he nodded his head in agreement. 

"I will if you want me to." 

I smiled as an answer and raised up to my feet. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other in front of the closet for a moment and he watched me with a puzzled expression. 

"What?" 

"Can you ... " I wiggled my index finger in a circle to finish the sentence for me and his eyes widened. 

"Oh. Yes. Of course. Shit." He got up from the bed and turned his back to me. I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. He moved in front of the window and shrugged his leather jacket off, revealing his inked skin. His muscles tensed and relaxed under the tattoos at the motions and I bit into the inside of my cheek before I finally turned away from him.

Shimming out of my jeans, I let the denim fall to the floor. I kicked it aside and repeated the process with my top. I grabbed an over-sized T-shirt from the closet and pulled it over my head and down my body. The T-shirt was dark grey and a washed-out Iron Maiden logo was on the front. I couldn't remember where I got it but it was my favorite thing to sleep in. 

I moved towards the bed again and when Zach heard me walk, he turned around, his gaze landing on my clothing. He held his breath for a moment then smiled but I could tell it was somewhat forced. 

"Nice," he commented and nodded his chin towards it. 

I moved the duvet and climbed on the bed, leaning my back against the headboard. 

Zach walked over to the chair I had by the desk and tugged his own T-shirt over his head and hung it over the backrest. Once again, I found myself staring. The two sleeves he had tattooed on his arms reached up to his shoulder-blades before fading out. They were filled with random images of skeletons and what I assumed were images from video games. His back was muscular and I could see every muscle shift underneath when his arms dropped back by his sides. 

He worked on his zipper and button and shoved his dark denim down his legs, right after his boots and socks. As he turned, I saw another tattoo stretching over his right side. I tilted my head to get a better look. The shading gave the impression of his skin being torn open and underneath was a tree, branches were woven under, over, and with the ripped flesh. There was something hidden on one of the branches but he was too far away for me to see properly. 

I looked up at him when he turned around to face me and approached the bed. I scooted slightly and held the duvet up so he could slip under. The mattress once again whined as his weight pressed against it. He pulled the duvet up to the middle of his stomach and looked over at me, folding one arm under his head. 

Keeping my eyes on him, I slowly lowered my head and rested it against his shoulder. His arm instantly moved and wrapped around me, pulling me closer until my cheek nestled on one side of his chest. My small hand laid on his stomach and my leg wrapped around one of his own. 

We laid there in silence for what seemed like forever, with just the moonlight breaking through the window. But I knew he wasn't asleep. Gradually, his fingers sneaked lower on my back and tugged the material of my T-shirt just high enough to reveal the small of my back. The rough pads of his fingers drew a lazy pattern on my skin, moving up my spinal cord and back down. 

Before I knew it, my own fingers mirrored the action, caressing his stomach. I was completely at peace. 

"Will you be here in the morning?" I murmured.

He paused then his low, soothing voice filled the room. "Even if something happens and I'm not ... I'll find you. I'll always find you." 

He turned his head and pressed his full lips against my forehead and I held my breath, my eyes fluttering shut. His lips lingered on the same spot for a moment longer before painting another kiss just under my hairline and another on the top of my head. For someone who was constantly trying to make sense out of everything in life, his closeness made everything fall into place. Even if it was just for one night. That night, I wasn't looking for answers. I wasn't questioning who I was. I was just Via. And he was just Zach. And somewhere between those thoughts, I sank into a sleep that for once wasn't better than reality. 

***

At the first crack of dawn, I stirred awake, much like every other morning. On most days, I awakened in a good mood, ready to start the day before the problems I've been storing away came bubbling back up. I yawned and tried to shift but something was holding me in place. Zach. 

Opening my eyes, I turned my head to look at him, expecting him to still be in deep sleep. Instead, I was greeted by the warmth of his eyes. 

"Morning," he mumbled. 

I smiled softly and snuggled closer to him. 

"Morning," I replied and painted a kiss to his scruffy cheek. "How did you sleep?" 

He smiled at the small showing of affection and turned to face me. "Well. You?" he lied. I could tell by the dark purple half-moons under his eyes. 

My hand elevated and I lightly touched his cheek. "Did I snore?" I asked, suddenly alarmed. 

A low, tired chuckle erupted from his throat and he shook his head. "No. Via, stop freaking out. You slept like an angel," he said but I could sense some teasing in his voice. 

I rolled on my side and his hand slipped up the length of my arm and rested over my shoulder. 

"I figured you'd be up soon. You look like a morning person," he admitted but I wasn't buying it. Still, I decided not to call him out on it. 

"Coffee?" My eyebrows elevated. 

"Please." 

I slipped out of the bed instantly and cursed at myself mentally, especially when I heard him grumble in protest. 

I pulled up a pair of grey leggings and made my way out of the bedroom. I heard shuffling from behind me, letting me know that Zach was getting dressed while I changed the coffee filter and poured fresh beans inside. A humming sound filled the kitchen as the coffee beans were ground and the brown liquid began to pour into a cup. Once there was sufficient liquid, I pressed the button and moved my mug aside, and placed another one under it. I poured milk into mine and threw half a teaspoon of sugar, a splash of milk, and just a touch of cinnamon in the other for Zach. I wasn't even thinking about it as I turned around and placed the mug in front of him when he walked to the kitchen island. 

"What?" I asked when I saw his eyebrows raised, looking between me and the coffee. 

"You know how I take my coffee?" he questioned. 

It wasn't until that point that I realized I had no way of knowing that. Whose coffee did I just make? It wasn't Maya's. Or anyone else's I know. I held the coffee up to my lips, a small scowl pushing my eyebrows together. 

"Must've heard you say it at some point," I then said. 

He nodded. "Probably." 

We both just brushed it off and I looked over at the window at the fire escape. 

"Smoke?" 

"Definitely. Can you get the cigarettes from my bedroom? I'll carry these out," I suggested, figuring he would end up spilling everything if he was the one to carry the cups out. Well, I was the one to talk. 

Zach disappeared into my bedroom again and I opened the window and climbed out on the stairs, placing the mugs down. 

Two minutes passed before Zach returned but his expression was different. Something was wrong. 

"What is it?" 

He shook his head and offered a forced smile that didn't really put me at ease. Instead of answering, he simply handed me my pack of cigarettes and my cell phone that I left on the nightstand. The light on top was glowing green which meant I had a text message. 

I placed one cigarette between my lips and lit it up, turning the screen on simultaneously while taking a drag. I almost choked on the smoke when I read the message. 

　　"If you're done with Mr. Badass, I'd love to take you out again." 

It was from Tyler, sent just a minute ago. Zach must've heard it vibrate and he saw it. 

I looked up and at the dirty-blonde haired male sitting by the window, a cigarette between his lips. He was staring at the distance, his fingers wrapped around his cup to the point his knuckles turned white and I was afraid he would break it. 

"Zach ... " I started, unsure what I even wanted to say. 

"Let it go, Vivi ... "