' Mountain'

*****

No, what have I done?

I watched in silent mortification as the young boy was led away. In the low lighting of the tavern, I could just make out his silhouette blackened by the setting sun behind him visible through the open doorway and passed the heads of Fersugil's men.

I watched as the scrawny little boy was led away
I watched in growing despair at what I had allowed.
I watched with a sense of how this was a pivotal point in all our lives. There was something about that golden-eyed lad his eyes reflective in their misery and small fists clenched in futile hope.
Hope that I had killed. Guilt gnawed at me as I stepped back from the scene I had just witnessed.

This isn't you. This isn't you.

The repetitive mantra wove its way into my essence. And it was true, this wasn't. Casting an angry glance towards my twin I prepared myself to swing back on my heel and leave the structure. If not to save that poor soul but to at least rid my head of the emotions so thick in the atmosphere around me. The air was pungent with the scent of ale and wine and mystery puddles of liquid that had been forgotten in the hurry to welcome us.

We had looked for the best accommodation possible but Llyn is a solitary little thing and Fersil village even more so. Nothing like the capital with its busy roads and boisterous streets.

It doesn't normally see visitors due to its secluded geographical position and terrain. Yet here we were sitting on splintering wooden benches some standing for the lack of proper seats and dining on a fare more suited for a humble traveller or farmer. Not that the men around me weren't humbled but we deserved better than stale bread and hard cheese. God knew we had enough of that on the road, constantly riding with the carriage behind us as we navigated around the Teragon River to make a quick journey of one which was not.

My leathers creaked in protest as I turned my shoulders rotating in an attempt to ease the stiffness after days of the straight ramrod back position I had assumed on our travels.

And froze - all thoughts of relinquishing fled my brain as I took note of the varied looks of anger and misery the very feeling I was going through plastered as clear as day on my soldiers' faces. And at the back near the hidden exit, Ellyn Cabrera sat, hand-held protectively over her protruding stomach and the other stifling a gasp of horror eyes a mirror of all the faces around her, tears gathering at the corners like an oncoming storm their clouds heavy with rain.

This was not good

Guilt towards the boy was not the only sort I was feeling now.

How could I be so self-centred when all around me my brothers and sisters in arms looked as gutted as I felt.

How could I - their higher official be so selfish as to put my comfort over theirs.
I had a responsibility, and I had almost failed.

With ground-eating strides, I came to a stop just before Ellyn and kneeled in front of her.

"Hey sis stop, it's all going to be fine. We're doing what we have to. For the greater good! come on you're always the one to cheer us up when down, I'm not too good at this" I could feel a hot flush work its way up my neck in embarrassment at the thought of all the others watching me trying to comfort Ellyn when my twin looked at me with humour lighting every pore of his face at my discomfort.

My voice was slow and measured trying to imitate my twin when he was soothing Ellyn during an emotional meltdown, Ulric her twin brother stood resolutely behind me obviously relishing in my discomfort yet pained for his sisters.

"You know the plan. We just need to get through tonight, go to that revolting dinner at Lord Fersugil's place and do what we set out to do. It's surely better to protect them all in a few sol horas than the risk it for a wee lad we'll probably be defending in a short while." I smiled in satisfaction at my explanation it was clear and to the point obviously what my kind and loving lege-sister needed. I cast a triumphant look over to my twin only to be met with instant vigorous denial and fear. What? I silently mouthed my widened grin had cautiously shrivelled up in mute confusion and awe at my older twins' distress.

Ellyn promply broke into heaving sobs. I jumped back. Oh goodness, i had made it worse. I slowly raised my hands and inched further back . I could tell by the movement behind me a few other soldiers were moving back too. 

" He was small, wasn't he !" Ellyn sobbed. 

I gulped. 

*** 

The air outside was cold, winter just around the corner. It's oppressive grasp yearning for dominance once again. The nights had slowly come faster and the days shorter and so i stood in darkness, the shadows a cloak around me as I stared longingly at the tavern behind me. The sobbing had subsided a while ago and only quiet murmurs remained.

I reached into pockets of my shirt, the thick material warm and stiff, instantly my fingers brushed the cold metal locked. It was still there.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief and let my hands fall to my side. The round disk continued to burn a cold mark into my souls as I waited for the light to turn off in the tavern a few paces away.

Drunk and swaying as a group of males, barely over their awakening stumbled out. I grimace, what a disgrace. To waste away with little responsibilities and awareness of the world around them.

They did not notice me yet I took a step back, my back now pressed to the rough wooden exterior of the tavern behind me ' The jolly Fool'.

A fitting name, for we were all fools for coming here so close to winter, and even greater fools to do so knowing the task we came to carry out.

Once the foot traffic had subsided to only the small rodents and insects I again reached for the locket I had taken from the young boy when I caught him.

It was a dark bronze colour, perhaps it had once been a golden tinge, but now all that was left was dark and appealing. Trash.

I ran my hand over the smooth metal, the engravings had been worn away and the symbols faded, the darkness made it near impossible to understand.

It was circular in shape, I allowed my fingers to move across the edge until I felt a raised ridge.

Gentle pressure had it yielding a small hidden compartment, within a crystal shard lay. Its reflective surface surprisingly glimmering in the flickering light from the windows behind me.

Odd, it looked like a memory shard.

My eyebrows furrowed, surely not. Memory shards were extremely expensive, only high born and kings had access to them. Where would a mere servant boy get it from.

I pondered this mystery for some time, before my feet led me back to my horse, a dark brown mare of dark temperament who snorted a warm blast of stream from her nostrils when I emerged from the shadows into the broken barn.

It was an equally old and tarnished building like The Jolly Fool for all its polished wood did not mask the scent of mildew and dust. "Sorry Girl" I muttered. "It's chilly outside, thought I'd come to give you a visit, checking if these lowly fools took proper care of you" I murmured into her ear, running my hands down her flank and finding a fresh patch of hay to sit on. My beautiful mare, Silvia, ever the protector trotted over and sat next me. Her flank pressing up against my back as she curled her hooves around my feet stretched out in front of me.

I pulled out the necklace again, and began inspecting it in the new found light. It was clearer now, more prominent in its presence and impossible to ignore the markings. The symbols were of the old fae language, they seemed ceremonial in a way and still, remained a mystery to me.

For the hundredth time in my life I wish I had paid more attention in my ancient runes lessons. I laughed a bitter song in the frigid air and sighed. These days seemed so bleek. I wish I had found my mate as soon as my brother had. He and Ellyn seemed so happy and they were moving on in life. Without me it seemed.

Silvia rustled my hand and snickered, startling me out of my dark thoughts. My grip had unconsciously tightened and I realised too late that I was squeezing the locket too tight. I opened my palms slowly to reveal the cracked shell. I winced, the crack was large and probably meant I had ruined the memory shard inside.

Reaching for the daddle bag that had sat unattended on a crate further down the stall I stretched my fingers to see if I could grab my soldering dust. Always kept it on my incase of emergencies. I snickered, it had never come in handy before, Ellyn had often hinted at the thought that I had a bit of a problem with being over prepared.

Finding the wooden box I pried open the latch to reveal a small velvet pouch inside.

** ***

A bell or two later I had managed to wedge enough powder into the crack to allow the meal to slowly knit back together. I once again pocketed the strange device to return later and rose from my position on the floor. Stretching, I uncoiled my muscles that cracked in protest and swiftly made my way back to the tavern after feeding Silvia the forgotten apple in my satchel. 

*****𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊******

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