Mordecai

The shadows were my home. There were no words to explain how being within them made me feel like being embraced in the warm and loving arms of my spirit's parents. Whispered words and glimpses of people, here and elsewhere, always filtered into the murky dark I called home. It was how I continually found Sorrel, how I helped find that one crucial weapon my parents always taught me was invaluable.

Knowledge.

Sorrel was a ticking time bomb that had suddenly shorted out, stopping before that final tick that would make her explode. I knew that with time something would jostle her in just the right way and she would blow up, damaging those around her in cruel and brutal ways. She once had a target for that explosive anger and rage but not anymore. I knew knowledge would help me diffuse her.

It was why I was waiting in the shadows, listening for the moment my search for knowledge would become fruitful. Sounds filtered through the shadows, they were muted unless I focused on them. There were an endless flow of dimensions and universes that lived outside of the shadows. One needed to learn patience before they could safely travel through them without getting lost along the way.

A faint noise made its way towards me and I pushed through the murky and comforting darkness, reaching for it. I came through the other side, the shadows clinging to me as if refusing to let me go. I shrugged them off as I looked around the small hut I found myself in. I had to bend over slightly to not hit my head on the roof

"Welcome, dark one. I would tell you to knock but there are no doors in the shadows." At the voice my gaze landed on the white haired shifter I had been seeking. She was sitting crossed legged on the floor, stones, candles, and incense around her. The air smelled strange and I knew whatever she was burning had some sort of altering affect. Physical or mental I wasn't quite sure. It didn't matter much to me as it wouldn't affect my either way. "Did you have to interrupt my meditating?" She cracked one silver eye open and focused it on me.

I gave a small shrug. "I came when I felt you would be more accepting of a visit." After nearly two hundred years I had learned when the best time to approach people, especially when emerging from the shadows. Most people didn't take kindly to strangers randomly appearing from the darkest parts of their homes.

"I suppose I could use some company." She closed her eye and gestured to the space opposite of her. "Sit." I gave a short nod and settled down across from her. She placed her hands back on her knees and inhaled and exhaled deeply, her face relaxing.

"Were you aware that I was coming?" She seemed far too accepting to not have been. I would not be surprised if she had known, my spirit aunt was curious like that.

"I had a thought you might but I was not entirely sure." She shifted in her spot, lifting her chin as she inhaled deeply.

I felt a small smirk tugging up my mouth. "Your goddess did not tell you?"

Her eye cracked open to flash a look of amusement my way. "Mene does not know what her nieces and nephews do. The shadows are her brothers' realm and she prefers to leave you to your parents." A smirk tugged up her mouth and I stared at her intently.

"You are such a strong shifter. Powerful." It was clear to me the power she held. It rippled off of her, contained but evident.

"All of use drawn to Mene are. How it appears is merely different." Her eye closed once more. "Some have her love, others have her fury and then a select few show her harmony between the two." She made a balancing motion with her hands before letting them fall back to her knees.

"You are her fury." It did not take much to guess. Her power seemed more wild than the few other healers and Altia members I had come across, it was raw and animalistic. A storm that was held back by a thin force that could break at any moment.

She gave me a grin full of sharp teeth. "Good guess, shadow walker." The smile faded as she opened her eyes completely, giving me an expectant look. "I know there is a reason you are here."

"There is." I searched for knowledge, anything that would help the rage that simmered in Sorrel's veins. There was a way for me to diffuse that pent up anger inside of her and I would find it.

"Am I correct in assuming it has something to do with what happened earlier today?" She blinked at me lazily and I inclined my head towards her. "Alright, what is it you wish to know?" She settled herself, her head tilting as she looked at me.

"What is it that happened?" It was a vague question but I knew healers and those connected to their mother goddess. They enjoyed riddles and puzzles, they enjoyed twisted words with various meanings attached. Years of listening to her strange words must have made them crave it.

Her mouth twitched upwards as enjoyment made those silver eyes of hers sparkle. "It is a long story but it ends with the king killing his queen because of the green eyed devil that lived within him. He fell from his throne and as he did so, his brother defeated him. The pack has lived in restful peace ever since." She gave a rather slow but flippant gesture with her hand.

"Malak was a dark male and I know Magdalene must have suffered under his will." I did not know what Sorrel saw in her mind but the amount of times she woke up with sobs in her throat or rage in her eyes I did not need to know it personally to know it was harsh.

"At times." She gave a slowly nod of her head, her white hair swaying just a fraction around her face. "When one is bound to darkness, it never ends well but there were times when she was happy." Her words were puzzling. I could never see a scenario where a female tormented as Maggie must have been, could find happiness.

"Where could one such as she find happiness within that?" It was a question I was curious of the answer to. What could cause a suffering female to smile and feel bursts of joy?

"Arlo." The name came from between slightly upturned lips.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "The male who took care of her child." The male who had looked at me, his eyes burning with jealously as he watched me and Sorrel. Such a curious answer.

"Yes, Arlo. The only male who could make her shine like the moon and he was drawn to her kind sweetness." There was a brief glimmer of wistfulness to her gaze before it faded to a look of faint resignation. "Such a star crossed path those two found themselves on." She let out a sigh, as if the words had a heaviness to them.

If happiness was formed between them then it would explain the suddenness of Maggie's death. "Malak found out about their..." I tried to formulate an appropriate word. "Relationship." I looked at her as she shook her head, her expression pinching.

"Oh you must not believe there was something between them. Arlo never would have acknowledged he loved Magdalene in any way but as a brother would a sister." Her tone was almost chastising and it nearly amused me that such a young creature would see fit to chastise me. "However it was Malak's insatiable jealousy, that demon that crawled around him and told him that her light was only for him, that caused Maggie's downfall. If not Arlo, another male would have caused it. It is no one's fault but Malak's." She waved her hand, sending the incense smoke into spirals.

I pondered the information, swirling it around and around like she was doing to the smoke in the air. Something was missing, information and knowledge that I knew was important. "Who falls in love with another's mate?" It was a strange thing to think on. I knew within shifters that mates were for life. Within my own species I knew that looking towards another and falling in love after being bound was an impossibility. A BloodBond was for life, there were no others.

She gave a lazy shrug. "Arlo had no choice but to love Maggie. She was the purest form of the moon's love one could ever see. It would be foolish to believe he would not fall for her." She said it as if it were the easiest thing one could accept but I did not understand. Outside of Sorrel and the few I had met before, I had little knowledge of shifters. We rarely mixed and in my nearly two hundred years I had only been exposed to a handful of them so my knowledge was limited to what I had seen and heard.

"But it was wrong." Falling for one who was taken was foolish and inherently wrong. The bond had to have some control over the feelings that one experienced.

"It was a... strange situation. Not one that will happen again I am sure." She gave a small frown as her forehead creased. "Maggie was divided." She drew her hand straight down through the smoke, separating it into two swirling clouds. "Mind against body." She held her hands up as if they were scales weighing the words she was saying. "Her body craved Malak, adored him, loved him, but her mind was free of the bond, the divide keeping it from reaching her." She tilted her hands never keeping them even.

"As time drew on her mind loved Arlo and it did so with its everything." Her one hand touched the floor as the other one was raised high before she returned them both to her knees. "It is why she slipped from Mene's arms and crossed the tides of the universe to show Sorrel the way to him." Her silver eyes flashed through the thin clouds of scented smoke.

I let silence fell as I absorbed what she had stated. Magdalene left Sorrel a trail to follow, the only way she could do that was to give her memories. "That is why Sorrel dreams as she does." It was the final piece of information that explained how Sorrel received the fragmented memories she did.

"It is. Must be hard for her to have those memories in her head where she cannot focus or see them in entirety." The old shifter tsked softly. "Poor female, so many false paths." The words were said softly, as if she truly felt for Sorrel. I did not judge her for the feeling she showed, she knew much more than most and I believed she truly did feel for Sorrel's situation.

Another silence fell as I once again slowly processed the knowledge she had provided. Information about the male named Arlo and information about Sorrel's nightmares. Both were important but I knew I would need time to figure out how to utilize the knowledge to help Sorrel. I tilted my head, hearing the sounds of the pack from the small hut. "Magdalene's treatment was not hidden was it." Within such a closed off pack it seemed unlikely that no one knew of it.

She gave a small incline of her head. "The pack knew, yes."

I wished to stay impartial, to stay neutral to gather more information but it was hard when encountered with such callousness. "And yet they did nothing." Within my own culture, violence against a bound couple was unheard of. It was frowned upon and reviled. It wasn't done.

"They did not." Her tone seemed rather unbothered by the knowledge.

I let my eye narrow slightly. "Why?" It was a very strange thought that someone would allow such treatment to continue if they saw it.

She gave a small shrug. "The Alpha's Law is absolute. There are very few who could break his command." She tilted her head, staring at me intently. "Nexus, a male who still needs to find his purpose, to discover who he truly is, and I."

I blinked at her. Such a powerful shifter had the ability to break the command of her Alpha."You could break the Alpha's Command?" I straightened my spin, my muscles stiffening with a heavy agitation.

"I follow a different ruler. Malak was merely a child playing at dominance. Mene is my Alpha." She watched my face carefully and I couldn't help how my jaw tightened. I could almost feel my form flickering in tune to my agitation.

"You could have done something." Out of everyone she had the ability to save Magdalene, to stop the torment the poor female had endured. She inclined her head, her eyes never leaving my form. "But you didn't." She shook her head and I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" I made no sense for her to let such treatment to continue.

"Because the moon did not tell me to and Maggie would have resisted all who tried." She said the words slowly before she shook her head once again. "Arlo blames himself for not doing more for her but Maggie would have fought the entire time." The words were surprising and it must have shown on my face. "I understand it is hard to believe but she was a female who was waiting for the moon to take her home. She did not care for escape or justice or freedom. Her only thoughts of being free were to be able to fly to Mene when she was finally allowed to leave her mortal shell."

It was such a strange thought to have, a tormented female refusing to leave the pack she endured her suffering in. "She stayed." It was a thought that was hard to believe.

"Maggie could have left if she truly wished. There was nothing stopping her if she wished to do so." The old healer gestured with her hand. "Mene's love is kind but it can kill if used right. Maggie could have taken down Malak on a whim but she didn't because she was a female who craved the moon and knew she would return to it if she stayed."

The words indicated a want for her to die, to stay so she would achieve that ending. "She wished for death."

"Ached for it." Silver eyes swirled with a faint touch of grief, as if she still grieved for the female who wished to die.

I had been around long enough to see the results from such thoughts from those who acted on those wishes. "She spared no thoughts to her twin, to Sorrel." Such a cruel way to live one's life.

She leaned backwards slightly. "Ahhhh, the ever present thought of selfishness of those who seek death to end their suffering." I wanted to argue but she held up her hand to stop me from speaking. "Mene made Magdalene a promise. Sorrel was strong and Maggie felt it was better she followed her path than to drag Sorrel into the darkness as well." She shook her head. "What may seem selfish to you, felt like a sacrifice to Maggie. She gave up her family, she cast thoughts of Sorrel from her mind because she felt it was safer for her beloved twin."

I paused, taking in the words, letting them sink into my mind. I wondered if Maggie had truly done it to protect Sorrel or if she had been broken down enough that she believed she couldn't leave. The only person who truly knew how her mind worked was that female herself but she was long since gone.

I looked around the hut, it was small and cluttered and I gestured to the surroundings, meeting her gaze with my own. "Your accommodations are strange." It was odd to see such a coveted type of shifter regaled to a small hut far from the pack.

"They have served me well enough." She didn't seem phased by the question or her rather inadequate surroundings.

I looked around once more but could see no signs of another. "You have no mate." At my words she gave a cackling laugh, her head thrown back in amusement.

"Dark one, I am considered a witch, tis a curse to be bound to one such as me." She shook her head, a crooked smile on her face as she gestured to the door. "Or so they believe." She shook her head, that smile firmly on her face. "Foolish creatures, there is not one of them that did not hear my voice as they entered the world, did not experience their first touch by my hands. Delivered them all, I did. Their fear of me is amusing." She truly did seem amused but I was confused by her amusement.

Shifters were social creatures I had learned, so having her okay with being cast to the edges was strange. She was a rather curious enigma. I might have had the shard of a god as my spirit but it did not make me all-knowing. Sometimes mysteries remained mysteries and it seemed as though she was one. "Why stay with those who cast you aside?"

"Why travel the world when my home has always been here?" She seemed to be just as amused with me as she had with those who cast her away.

I refused to rise to the bait she was throwing. "How can this be home for you?" I gestured around to the splintering wooden structure and the cluttered surfaces.

"Because I was born into this pack and I am notoriously stubborn." Her mouth quirked upwards at the corner, her eyes shining in the dimness of the room.

"You must have lived a lonely life stuck at the edges." I could not fathom such a life. To never be allowed contact with another. It was an itch under my skin when I was refused it, denied it. Contact for vampires was like the wolf for shifters. Something we could not be without.

"I am rarely alone. I have Mene." She shrugged and I shook my head.

"You should have more. I am aware shifters are social creatures." Sorrel had shown me that. Her wolf had craved it, the closeness and the feelings of family. "Do you not crave it?" I could not understand how she lingered at the edges, content with her position in life.

She raised an eyebrow before flicking her hand towards me dismissively. "I can't crave what I do not know."

There was the center of it all. I was not new to the various cultures within shifter society. My spirit's parents spoke opening about Mene's troubles with the Old Ways, about how angered she was with them and their cruelty and now I could see it for myself. "Such cruelty from the ways that raised you."

A faint hum of power radiated from the healer. "It is easy to judge our ways when you are not in them." Her silver eyes flashed as she held out her hand. "Did you ever wonder why Mene did not demand the Old Ways fall until now? Did you ever ask yourself why she had let them live on for as long as she did?" The silver in her eyes darkened and her face grew angular. A wolf close to the skin of the human, warning me of her anger.

I inclined my head respectfully, an attempt to calm a beast close to raging. "I have not."

"It is because the ways we live are nothing but bastardized versions of what used to be! They are corrupt and tainted!" She tilted her hand, white sand poured from her palm before it greyed and blackened as it hit the floor. Her eyes swirled with the Divine Fury she had been born into. "Broken down by males who believed they were superior to all else!" She was not a creature made of circumstance, she was a creature born to create the circumstances that would shape those around her. A reminder of what waited for those who strayed from my spirt aunt's path.

She closed her hand into a fist, never letting it waver from its extended position."Omegas never used to be broken down and whipped like dogs. They were the submissives of the pack. Those too timid and too afraid to live in a world outside of their pack. They were loved and cared for!" The words rolled from her like thunder from a storm. "Now? Now they are nothing but cruelly broken shifters too afraid of their new masters to realize the way it should have been was to rely on their Alphas for strength not punishment, not orders!" Her silver eyes flashed and seemed to crackle with electricity. I was not afraid of the rolling fury that sat across from me. I held the shard of a god within me that spoke of the family it saw within the rolling and thundering storm.

"Our traditions have been salted and burned and twisted until those males made them into what they are." She slashed her hand through the air, the blackened sand twisting on the ground around and around, swirling into the air between us. "The mating pits. Holes so deep and dark that the moon's touch cannot reach. It never used to be about submission, it used to be about trust!" The silver of her eyes cut through the swirling sand that was caught in her intense power. "A female would willingly walk down there, placing her trust in her male that he would forever go to the farthest reaches of our universe, where Mene cannot reach, to find her."

The sand swirled faster, creating a gritty black cloud that hovered in the air between us. "The protectors? They never used to sell their daughters, it never used to be about how much she was worth." Her chin tilted up as her eyes hardened. "It was a mark of pride for a male to show his female that he would fight anything to reach her side. That he would fight forever for a chance to be with her. He did it so he could kneel at her feet, take her hand in his and pledge her his teeth, his claws, and his heart." She thumped her closed fist against her chest.

"Our ranks never used to be so separate, the Alpha's law never used to be so absolute." She thumped her chest again, her eyes shifting from hard to nearly glass. "They desecrated the purity of the ways we had lived for thousands of years." The black sand faltered, swirling lower and lower to the ground. "They defiled Mene's law and her will. They ruined us." Her voice cracked just a fraction as she pressed her hands to the sandy floor as the rest of it landed, her power fading, rippling back towards her.

"It is a stain, a corruption that cannot be fixed. It has seeped into our very cores, changed how we thought, how we viewed the world we lived in." She clenched her hands in the sand picking it up. Her gaze was on her clenched and shaking fists. "The black stain has spread so far it cannot be removed so we must cut it out completely." She opened her hands and let the sand fall, black marks staining her palms from where it touched.

"That is why Mene acts now." She looked up at me. "The rot must be cut before it destroys the rest of our world." She searched my face as if looking for some reaction to her showing of the divine fury but I did nothing. "This is not done lightly, this is done with a heavy grief. Purity tainted by so many years of darkness." She shook her head slowly.

"Do not judge what you do not know." She held out her black stained palms in a gesture of begging. "It is hard for those born into the corrupted Old Ways to know anything else. Arlo is trying, he was born with a heart stronger than them, but the rest do not know." She held her hands out further, moving to her knees. "Do not judge the innocent for the sins of those in the past." That silver searched my gaze and silently begged me for understanding I was unsure I had.

Her hands fell to the black sand once more, her gaze soon following. "I am what is left of those who had been taught of the ways before. When I pass to Mene, they will be forgotten entirely. Mene will wipe them away completely." Her hands once again clutched at the sand, her white hair hanging around her in flowing strands. "An ancient way of life destroyed by those greedy for power and prestige. No one will ever know the purity they once held."

"Madeline will be a tool used to destroy the ways that have harmed so many." She looked up at me, her silver eyes almost dull before they glinted with a ferocity that reminded me of just what side of Mene's scale her powers fell on. "Make sure she is not forced into that. She will find her own way and one cannot place a burden so heavy on one so young. Please help her be with her daddy, let her grow up without the knowledge of her path." She lifted herself up before getting to her feet with the cracking of old joints. I followed suit, bending down due to the lower roof. "Within time she and so many others will wash this world clean of the rot that once tainted it." The old healer gave me a faint smirk as she opened her hands, white sand pouring from her clean palms to land in the white sand that lay on the floor. I stared at it with my own smirk tugging up my mouth.

That had been less than illusion and more of a promise. I bowed my head at the old shifter and pushed off into the warm embrace of the shadows. I had gained the knowledge I required but I knew I needed time to sort through it and formulate something that could help lessen the rage within my Zoi.

The fate of the old Way shifters was not my burden to carry, the happiness of my Zoi was and it was a burden and a goal that I would strive for, even if she couldn't yet see it like I did.