I wake up when I hear Tris slip out of her bed and sneak out of the dorm. I sit up and stare at the closed door. My nosy nature beats my sleepiness as I dress quietly. I zip up Tammi's jacket and shove on my tennis shoes. I follow after her as she wanders down random halls.

"Psst! Tris!" I feel bad when she spins around, eyes wide with fear. "It's just me."

"What are you doing?" She asks and I roll my eyes at her.

"What are you doing? It's like–one in the morning." I hiss, wanting to go back to bed already.

She shrugs at me and it makes anger flare-up, I ignore it. "It smells like blood in there." I don't have to think about what she means. The dorm does have this lingering copper smell underneath all the bleach and antiseptic. It makes me gag when I think about it too much.

"Oh, yea, I get that." I scratch at my cap. "Wanna go to the gym?" I ask, pointing over my shoulder toward what I hoped was the gym.

"Tris?" I spin around, not afraid but curious, and see Uriah. "Oh hey, Rita. You guys okay?" He waves his friends on, they walk past us with strange looks on their faces.

Tris doesn't really answer, "Difficult night."

Uriah scratches the back of his neck, "Yea, I heard about that guy Edward." He looks back at the hall where his friends just were, "Want to get out of here?"

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"A sort of initiation ritual, come on. We have to hurry."

I look at Tris, she's the one who's got to say yes, I came out here to check on her anyway. She shrugs and I take that as a yes. It might be nice to get out of here.

A smile breaks out on Uriah's face, "The only initiates they usually let come are ones with older siblings in Dauntless, but they might not even notice. Just act like you belong." He says as we walk on either side of him.

"What exactly are we doing?" Wonders Tris. Good question.

I can see the excitement in his eyes, "Something dangerous." When we reach the others, the similarities between the different bundles of people makes me smile. I've always loved seeing families together. Picking on who got what from which parents and so on.

Some kid with a septum piercing looks Tris and I over with a nasty expression, "What are they doing here?"

"They both saw some guy get stabbed in the eye, Gabe. Give 'em a break." Uriah says, patting our shoulders with a smile.

Gabe turns away and nobody else asks us any questions. I sigh a little bit, the first stage of whatever we're doing is over.

Soon, we're following the rest of the group toward a pitch-black hallway. "I don't like this," I mumble and hear a few people laugh. I run into Tris and scowl when her elbow jabs into my stomach. "Ow."

"Sorry."

I can barely make out the shape of Uriah, "Back staircase, it's usually locked." That helps me when I almost knock my shin against the next stair. We walk for a few minutes before I see a door open and light floods in. It might be dark out, but the moon is full and casts white light all over the compound.

The train is rounding the corner when I walk through the door, I jog to keep up with everyone. Once we make it on the train, Tris and I sit on the floor of the car across from Uriah. "That's the smoothest it's ever gone for me!" I admit and Tris nods. The wind is loud with all the doors open.

"Where are we going?" She asks, having to shout for us to hear.

"Zeke never told me," He shrugs.

I lean toward him, "Who's that?"

"My older brother," I follow his hand as he points at Zeke, he's sitting so close to the edge of the door that his legs are hanging out. I shake my head at the sight.

"You don't get to know! That ruins the surprise!" I push away from the wall and see the owner of that voice. "I'm Shauna!" She offers Tris her hand before shaking mine. I kind of enjoy seeing people offer Tris their hands, she's so awkward about it.

I smile, Shauna seems nice, "I'm Rita!"

Shauna nods, "I think everyone knows who you are–first jumper–and factionless transfer." I try to ignore the heat that grows on my cheeks. It's not that I'm embarrassed to be factionless, I just don't like everyone knowing that I am.

"This is Tris," I bump my shoulder into hers, trying to cheer her up a little. Her expression is looking a little more depressed than usual.

"The stiff, hi, Four told me about you two." I look at Tris and find she's already staring at me. There's a silent question in both of our eyes. What did Four tell her?

That's when Tris' blush gives her away, "What'd he say about me–us?" She corrects and I can't help the grin that grows on my face.

Shauna smirks, glancing at me which makes me have to look away or else I might laugh. "He said you were a Stiff, why do you ask?" I noticed how she didn't answer what he said about me and felt a little annoyed. I do want to know what he's said. I'm curious to know.

Tris is fiddling with her fingers as she answers, "If my instructor is talking about me, I want to know what he's saying." She pauses, "He isn't coming is he?"

"No, he never comes to these things. It's probably lost its appeal." Shauna shrugs, "Not much scares him, you know."

No, I do know. Heights. I remember the panicky breaths we shared and when I lost my footing, his hold on me was tight but careful. I still never thanked him for saving my life. I can only hope what we're not doing has anything to do with heights because I might throw up again.

"Do you know him well?" Tris asks and I can't help but thank her silently for asking these questions. I feel weird asking about him since he's my instructor.

Shauna nods, "Everyone knows Four, we were initiates together. I was so bad at fighting, so he taught me every night after everyone was asleep." Her face suddenly looks a bit awkward, "Nice of him."

That seems like Four–kind of. He can be a dick sometimes. Shauna jumps up and joins those who are standing up, "Here we go!" She yells and jumps out of the train. I scramble to stand and sway a bit. The train is still speeding along the track but I know when others begin jumping that we're gonna have to jump.

"Wanna go on 3?" I ask Tris and she nods, grabbing my hand tightly. "One."

"Two."

I gulp, "Three." And we're flying out of the train, we have to keep running a few feet in order to become stable but once we are, we're both smiling. "That wasn't too bad," I admit.

The moonlight helps me figure out where we are. I recognize this area perfectly. North of the bridge, it's abandoned here. Save for some factionless now and then. A lot of us used to stay in the empty buildings until Dauntless began doing patrols weekly. It forced us to move back into our preordained territory.

We end up on Michigan Avenue and memories of chasing Tammi through the streets resurface. It brings a smile to my face.

"What's got you smiling?" Uriah asks, clearly alluding to something.

"I spent a lot of time on these streets as a kid." The group is heading toward the one building my Ma forbade us from going inside. The Hancock building. It's old and falling apart and where Tammi broke his arm as a child after falling down a flight of stairs.

Despite my newfound fears, I enter the building. Nobody heads for where I remember the stairs being, "How the hell are we getting up?" I mumble, trying to keep my voice down.

"Do you think I'm stupid enough not to come here early and turn on the emergency generator?" Zeke asks and I don't have a chance to answer.

"Yea, I kinda do," Uriah says with a smirk. In turn, Zeke puts Uriah into a headlock and rubs the top of his brother's head. I chuckle at the sight of Uriah's hair now looking a bit lumpy. He pushes Zeke off of him and they laugh at one another. Their clowning around makes me miss Tammi so much more than usual.

I hugged him for so long before they had to leave on visiting day. There was this finality in the air that made me not want to let any of them go. I'm the last to enter the elevator, already knowing which floor we're going to end up on.

—

When we reach the top, my nerves are off the hook. I hold my hands together and roll them around one another anxiously. If I'm lucky we'll freefall in the elevator for fun instead of jumping off of the roof or something equally as insane.

"I wonder how we'll get to the roof from here..." Uriah's voice brings me back to where we are and I stay as close to the wall as the space can allow. "Oh." We lock eyes on the ladder at the same time.

Zeke lifts the ladder up and props it against the hole in the roof above us. Great. He climbs through first and holds the top for Lynn. I'm the last up the ladder, cringing every time it creaks and sways from the wind. Why did I have to follow after Tris, again?

I hear how loud the wind is before I feel it. The sheer force almost throws me to the ground. "This is pleasant!" I deadpan, turning my face away from it so I can breathe. Then I see our way down and my heart practically stops beating.

A pole secures a cable to the roof and there are these sort of nets sitting on the ground, I can't tell what they are until Zeke clips one onto the thick cable and I want to throw up at the thought of getting onto it.

"There's no way I'm doing this," I have to speak in a normal voice right up against Tris' ear for her to hear me.

"Why not?" I gesture toward the drop at the edge of the Hancock building, "It'll be fine–I think."

"That's not helping, Tris."

Uriah's jaw drops, "Oh my god," We both share the same look of terror. Maybe I'm not the only one afraid of heights in this group.

Instead of letting my anxiety eat away at me, I force myself to watch how they're securing the people into the slings. Reassuring myself that they're not killing these kids. Dauntless wouldn't do that. They wouldn't. My jaw is aching from clenching it by the time it's Tris' turn to go down.

She's strapped face down into the sling and I do my best to look encouraging despite every bone in my body wanting nothing other than to run to the elevator and safely descend. Zeke pats her shoulder and then she's off. This time I have to run to the edge to see how she flies down so, so fast.

My throat dries up. It's my turn now.

"You okay?" I don't answer but then realize Zeke is talking to me, I nod. "Come on, I'll help you in."

My entire body is shaking but I manage to thank him as he explains how to pull the break. "Can I get in so I don't miss it? I'm kind of freaking out."

Zeke nods, "Of course, once you see the group, pull it, alright?" I nod harshly, settling into the sling on my back, my head is hanging toward the edge of the roof. Zeke checks the straps a few times, probably for the sake of my sanity, and counts down from three.

I can feel the exact moment when he pulls the lever back because I'm met with the feeling of my stomach dropping through my back and onto the pavement below me. The wind whips around me as I squeeze my eyes shut.

After the initial drop, it's not so bad but I refuse to open my eyes, I can't–I won't. I hold my breath for as long as I can before craning my neck back to look in front of me. The wind glues my eyelids open and I'm forced to ride it out with them wide open.

I'm not sure what's worse, being stuck in this thing or being forced to watch it happen.

When I see the familiar red glow of glow sticks and then white faces, I move to pull on the break as fast as I can. The speed in which I traveled from the Hancock building and down here was jarring. My hands are ice cold as I yank on the brake.

Pure relief covers my body as I feel my sling slowing. I loosen the straps and spin around so I can see where to drop. The other Dauntless form a human net, I know it's going to hurt so I slide out of the sling on my back and free fall for less than two seconds.

The net that I landed on when I jumped into the compound felt like heaven compared to the arms and elbows and hands that jutted out to push into my body. They help me come to a standing position before Shauna appears before me.

"How was it?"

My eyes are still wide open, I force a shrug, "Kinda horrifying to be honest." They all laugh and it's the first time that it feels like they aren't laughing at me.