chapter one:
welcome! everything is fine

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

Beth should be somewhere... and it's not here.

Instead, she finds herself in this sterilised waiting room she's never seen before. The couch beneath her thighs is soft, swallowing her up perhaps a little too much. The air is laced with the smell of sweet lemongrass, putting Beth at instant ease. Is that... a fountain trickling in the distance? And more importantly, is it filling her with tranquility instead of the urge to pee? Printed symmetrically on the wall in front of her in bright primary green reads a simple greeting:

'Welcome! Everything is fine.'

And, curiously, Beth has no reason not to believe it. As far as she can see, everything is fine.

"Bethany Ardon?"

The voice startles her, but still holds an odd gentleness to it. Her gaze darts across the room to its owner — a tall, elderly man dressed in a dapper grey suit and thick-framed glasses. She nods, but he did not seem to need confirmation that it was her, anyway. The man smiles slowly at her and steps to the side. "Come on in," he beckons her.

     Her brows furrowing, Beth lifts herself from the couch and shuffles over to the doorway. She suddenly feels like a school child being led into the headmaster's office. Inside his room, the cream-coloured walls are lined with bookshelves and bureaus, sunlight pouring in from the windows where emerald house plants stand in plenty of greenery. As far as offices go (and she has seen plenty of those), this one could almost be inviting... but where on Earth is she?

     "Please, take a seat, Bethany," he gestures his arm to the empty chair opposite him.

"Oh, Beth is fine..."

It just slips out from nowhere. The man simply flashes her a gentle, somehow omniscient smile, and nods to the seat again. Beth complies, lowering herself down. Her hands rest uncertainly on her lap. Only now does she realise what she is wearing — her favourite pair of jeans, along with a light salmon-pink sweater and some comfy trainers. How strange. Is it just her, or can she not remember putting these on at all? In fact, now that she thinks about it, Beth can't remember anything beyond sitting in that waiting room. And yet none of this seems strange to the man who called her into his office. She gets the distinct impression that she should be feeling at ease, but it is difficult when she can't remember a thing.

     "Excuse me, um...?" Beth asks sheepishly, not knowing his name.

     "Michael," he introduces himself for her.

     "Michael," she lets out a nervous chuckle, "I know this is gonna sound silly, but... what am I doing here? For some reason, I can't remember a thing. Literally nothing. Like, complete blank."

     To demonstrate, Beth waves her hand in front of her face in a wiping motion. Michael hums inter-links his hands together on his desk. "I should probably get straight to the point. Hm... how do I put this lightly?"

     A beat passes, where he leans forward a little in his chair, his well-pressed suit creasing slightly.

     "You, Beth Ardon, are dead."

     "I'm... what?"

     The words float straight over her mind, unreal and impossible. But Michael remains calm as ever as he continues to elaborate.

"Your time on Earth has come to an end, and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe. Simple as that."

Simple as that?! No, she cannot be dead. Surely not. This must be some strange dream she's having after a long day at work. Beth instinctively reaches her hand beneath her sleeve and pinches the skin on her forearm.

"That's not going to work," Michael interjects with a wave of his hand. "The pinching thing, everyone tries it at some point, but it never wakes you up."

     "But I don't understand," Beth feels quiet panic seeping into her voice, "I don't even remember... dying." That last word hits her. It feels strange in her mouth, like it doesn't quite match how she feels in her surroundings.

     "That was intentional. We often erase the memories of those whose deaths were particularly embarrassing or traumatic, so that they can have a smooth transition into the afterlife..." Michael glances up from his papers, staring at her down his glasses. "I can tell you how you died, if you like?"

She swallows thickly. Embarrassing and traumatic? Maybe there is good reason for her not remembering. The idea of her untimely death is overwhelming enough, and Beth figures that she needn't add the grisly cause to that list just yet.

"Oh, um... you're alright for now," she replies. The old man hums and shuts her file once again, as if saving it for later. "So if I'm dead, then where am I? What's out there?" Beth points out of the tall windows, where sunlight is pouring through.

     Michael clasps his hands together and smiles softly at her. "You are in your afterlife. Here in the afterlife, there is a Good Place and a Bad Place. Which one you go to is entirely dependent on how you were during your life on Earth."

     "And... which one am I in?"

     "You're in the Good Place."

     Beth feels herself unravel in the seat, like some invisible weight has been lifted from her chest. She's in the Good Place. The relief it fills her with is immense. Even if she doesn't know exactly what the Good Place entails yet, it feels comforting to know she has been welcomed in with open arms. She finds that she can start to relax now, her shoulders dropping further away from her ears.

"Oh, phew," she sighs. "Sorry for all the questions."

     "That's okay—"

     "I do have some more, though."

     "Understandable," Michael nods curtly.

     "If this is some sort of Heaven, are you an... angel?"

     For some reason, this makes Michael erupt into giggles, as if rather flattered. "Boy, I'm glad you think of me that way, but no, strictly speaking I'm not an angel."

Beth nods, understanding that there is much more to the mysteries of the universe than she first assumed. Maybe it would be better left un-investigated. She glances over at the framed photograph on the wall — from the same era as her parents' teenage years, a young man is pictured with a mop of hair and a vacant smile on his face. Underneath is a brass plaque, displaying the name 'DOUG FORCETT' with great importance. "Who's he?" she probes.

Spinning around in his chair, Michael lets out a jovial laugh and pats his hand on the desk. "Ah, yes. Doug Forcett is pretty famous in these parts. He was a stoner kid living in Calgary in the Seventies. One night he got really high on mushrooms, and his friend Randy asked him what he thought happened to humans after they die. Doug went off on this long monologue, and as it turns out, he got it about 92% right... incredible, really, considering most concepts of the afterlife only have it about 5% right."

     "What, really? Only 5%? Then well done, Doug..." Beth stares absentmindedly at the portrait for a moment, reflective. "It's definitely different from what I thought would happen. All of this."

"Everyone has pretty different theories."

"Yeah. I always thought I'd come back as a pigeon, or something."

"A p– what? Why? I mean, what made you think that?" Michael furrows his brows, genuinely curious.

"I don't know. It just seemed pathetically on-brand for me," Beth says tiredly as she smooths her hands over her jeans. "Plus, I could shirt on people... did I just say shirt? I meant to say shirt... what the fork?" What is going on? She knows the curse word she tries to mention in passing, but it never comes out quite the way she hears it in her head.

     "Oh yeah, you can't curse here," he adds casually, "there's a censor if you try to."

     "Fair enough... probably for the best."

     "I think so, yes..." Michael rises up from his chair, straightening his jacket and smiling down at Beth. "Well, I'm afraid your pigeon existence isn't in the cards — although we could have that arranged if you wanted — but your new afterlife is waiting for you outside. Shall we?"

Beth looks out at the window again, then back at the old man's twinkle in his eye. She had always imagined what came after death to be the end of something; the line drawn in the sand. But after everything Michael has just told her, it feels so full of opportunity.

     "Yes," she smiles breathlessly, "I'm ready."

✮

     All of the new arrivals in the Good Place have to go through an orientation before filtering out into the rest of the neighbourhood. Just from the glimpses Beth has seen of this place, she can understand why it is heavenly — the cobbled streets are bright and the skies always sunny, brightening up every corner and its corresponding frozen yoghurt shop (it still baffles her why there are so many of these, but she dismisses any deeper thought for being awestruck by it all).

     In the town square, the new arrivals mingle on the lawn and find their seats in front of a giant holographic screen, where a welcome presentation will be made. Beth finds herself having flashbacks to her first day at secondary school all over again, wandering around lost and overwhelmed by everything, and with no one to talk to. However, she would like to think there will be less school uniform regulation and wads of gum stuck to her shoes in the Good Place...

     Beth meanders past her fellow newcomers and picks a row to sit in — she figures the middle is best, not too far away but not blocking anyone's view either. When she approaches the row, there is a bespectacled man seemingly having a crisis in choosing a seat. He keeps sitting down in one chair, rocking back and forth restlessly before moving to the one adjacent to it. For a couple of moments, she continues and watches him obsess over the choice of seat.

     "Tough choice, isn't it?" Beth smiles at him.

     He whirls around, quickly rising from his seat. "I'm sorry, it's just– there are so many!"

     "I'll make it easy for you," she chuckles, sitting in the chair at the end of the row (that way, she avoids the oh-so-awkward scenario of having to squeeze past people when she wants to leave). The man seems relieved at the evidence of a clear choice, landing with a sigh into the chair next to her.

     "I'm Chidi," he introduces himself.

     "Nice to meet you, Chidi. I'm Beth." After they share a pleasant handshake, the pair of them stare out at the holographic screen before them, or crane their necks around to get a look at their neighbours. Everyone seems so happy. Chidi also seems to be having this revelation; at the quiet hope of making a new friend, Beth wonders if she should try and chat to him to pass the time. "So, um, how did you—"

     But before Beth can try and create small talk, Michael's face appears on the holographic screen. Her lips seal quickly — like she used to do in school, trying to avoid being told off by the teachers — and she faces the front with Chidi and everyone else, listening to what the video has to offer.

     "Hello everyone, and welcome to your first day in the afterlife!" Michael-on-video tells them cheerfully, dressed in a teal-coloured suit and matching bow tie. "You were all, simply put, good people. But how do we know that you were good? How are we sure?"

     As the camera pulls away from him, infographics begin to appear around Michael's body on the screen, changing and lighting up at a single gesture of his hand or an intonation of his words.

     "During your time on Earth, every one of your actions had a positive or a negative value, depending how much good or bad that action put into the universe. Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine, every single thing you did had an effect that rippled out over time and ultimately created some amount of good or bad."

     Beth listens carefully, fascinated by every word. She supposes it does make sense. More than anything, she feels privy to some secret knowledge about the universe that has been withheld until now — the constant conundrum that humans would never truly know what happened after they died, until... well, they died. But then who could you tell?

     "You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane when there's traffic? And they think to themselves, 'Ah, who cares? No one's watching.'" Michael offers as an example; to this, multiple people in the crowd seem to nod along, remembering witnessing such instances themselves. "... We were watching. Surprise!"

     A ripple of lighthearted laughter spreads through the crowd, Beth feeling more of her worries be carried away with the gentle breeze. Again, she can't get over how many happy faces they are. Could she really belong with these people?

     "Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended, we calculate the total value of your life, using our perfectly accurate measuring system. Only the people with the very highest scores, the true cream of the crop, get to come here... to the Good Place. What happens to everyone else, you ask?" Michael squints, shakes his head and swats his hand through the air gently. "Don't worry about it."

     It is as though Beth took the instruction directly. She voluntarily exhales a sigh to calm herself, which had been jittery with nerves at the unknown while wholly amazed at the prospect of making it here. Now that she knows about the points system, she is even more touched. Was she really that good to get in here? It feels like receiving a pat on the back.

     "The point is, you are here because you lived one of the very best lives that could be lived. And you won't be alone! Your true soulmate is here too."

     Beth sits forward in her seat, her interest piqued. She swears her heart fluttered at those words (if it can still do that). Soulmates. Everyone else seems to be enraptured by the idea as well, turning in their seats and wondering which nameless face in the crowd could be their one and only.

     "That's right," Michael confirms with a clap of his hands. "Soulmates are real. One of the other people in your neighbourhood is your actual soulmate, and you will spend eternity together."

     Eternity? The word echoes in her head, leaving her in disbelief. Somewhere in this crowd, there is someone who is universe-approved to want to spend the rest of eternity with her? It almost seems impossible, although her heart cannot help but swell with hope.

"So welcome to eternal happiness. Welcome to the Good Place. Sponsored by: otters holding hands while they sleep." Right on cue, an image of the said otters appears on the screen, melting the hearts of everyone in the crowd. "You know the way you feel when you see a picture of two otters holding hands? That's how you're gonna feel... every day."

As the holographic screen disappears into nothingness, the crowd erupts into delighted applause, thumping just as wildly as Beth's heart is. She might have a soulmate. It keeps reverberating around her head. Next to her, Chidi seems just as elated at this prospect, shaking his head in overjoyed awe. She, on the other hand, has some questions. Politely bidding him goodbye, Beth weaves through the crowd again until she finds Michael stood at the steps.

"Oh, Beth!" Michael greets her like an old friend, "I'm so glad to see you again."

"Thanks, you too. Great video by the way. Very informative..." Beth interlaces her fingers together apprehensively. "So, is it true? That thing about soulmates?"

"Absolutely. Every single person in the Good Place has a soulmate."

"Great, so, um... how do I find mine? Is it a situation like choosing teams in P.E.? 'Cause otherwise I'll need a head start—"

"I already know who your soulmate is," Michael reassures her. "In fact, after I'm done talking to some of the other residents, I'll show the both of you around. You can go and meet him in the meantime."

"I– I can?" Beth stammers, feeling her palms sweat.

"Yes. Go to the Chinese garden in about... ooh, uh, fifteen minutes?" Suddenly Michael lets out an amused laugh, clasping his hands together. "Sorry, just had to do a quick conversion to human time. Anyway, he should be waiting for you when you get there..." Then, with a knowing hesitation, he leans forward and adds: "His name is Sanjay."

     "Sanjay..."

     She lets the name roll off her tongue, once and then twice more. Like testing the way it feels when she says the name of her soulmate. Is it different to how she feels with anyone else?

"Oh, and if you need anything in the meantime, just call Janet," Michael adds hastily. "She's our neighbourhood assistant who can help you with any queries."

To kill some time, Beth wanders around the neighbourhood to soak in her surroundings. She takes in all the brightly-coloured houses and shops, among them a café filled with puppies (this really is Heaven!) and, of course, a frozen yoghurt shop. The opportunity presents herself and she gets herself a pot with, the flavour somehow blended between raspberry and the feeling of a freshly-made bed. As each spoonful leaves her warmer and fuzzier, Beth greets the smiling faces of her neighbours, still trying to fathom how she ended up in such a place...

It is only after she has returned to the same park bench that she realises she is lost.

Swallowing her pride, Beth approaches a friendly-looking couple walking past. "Excuse me, hi—"

"Oh, hey there!" one of the men says, overly cheery.

"Uh... hi," she laughs nervously, "I've been told to ask a lady called Janet for help if I need it. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Sure thing. Hey, Janet?"

     Then seemingly out of thin air, a pleasant boop tone rings out and instantaneously generates a tall, friendly-looking woman next to Beth. What the fork? She seems perfectly composed, dressed smartly in a pinafore dress, and her expression has the cadence of someone politely waiting for instructions. "Hello! What can I do for you?" the woman, apparently Janet, asks.

     "This lady was looking for you and needs some help," the man replies, before walking off with his partner down the path.

     "How can I help you, Beth?" Janet asks kindly.

     "You know my name?"

     "Not just your name. I know everything in the history of the universe, all available at your disposal."

     "That's... impressive," Beth blinks at Janet, suddenly feeling rather inadequate, "I'm afraid my question is a lot more basic."

     "Anything you need."

     "I'm trying to find the Chinese garden? Michael said I could meet my soulmate there."

"You are actually two minutes and thirty-seven seconds away from your destination," says Janet instantly, without batting an eyelid. She looks down a winding oath through the gardens and gestures to it. "Just follow that path through the gardens, and you'll find yourself at a great big bridge over the river. Your soulmate is waiting for you there right now."

"Oh, wow, thank you..." Beth stares down the path, baffled at Janet's knowledge. "It's nice to know there are people as helpful as you in the Good Place."

Janet smiles softly at her. "Thanks. Also, I'm not a person. I am a being with the sole purpose of catering to your every need in the afterlife."

"... Right. Noted. Thanks again, Janet."

"Any time!"

With a wave of her hand and a boop, Janet vanishes into thin air. Weird... but Beth thinks she could get used to it. Maybe. With enough eternity. Sighing, she starts following the winding path through the gardens, guiding her through beautiful bamboo groves, pagodas, and clusters of blossoming trees. A tight knot of anticipation sits in her stomach at the thought of her soulmate waiting for her — what is it supposed to feel like when they meet? Will Sanjay even like her, or will the spark be dampened? Even the delectable frozen yoghurt can't distract her from it.

     Soon, she reaches the bridge Janet must have been talking about. Pristine and appearing as though carved out of white stone, it arches over the calmly flowing river. And surely enough, standing there alone is a man who looks similar in age to Beth. His tall frame arches over the side of the bridge with his elbows supporting the weight as he casts his gaze down the river. Could it be him? All she has to go on so far is his physical appearance. But between his open blazer over a button-down shirt and the neatly-trimmed beard she can make out... well, she likes what she sees.

Beth's mouth feels like tar as she walks slowly across the bridge, still not alerting him to her presence yet. His mind seems elsewhere, lost in thought. Only one thing for it, she thinks.

"Sanjay?"

A split second later, his head snaps around to look in the direction of her voice; the man, who must be Sanjay, presses away from the bridge and takes a step forward. He seems to be looking her up and down, taking her in. Beth can only hope she hasn't disappointed.

"Are you Bethany Ardon?" Sanjay asks.

"Yeah, I am," she nods shyly.

Upon her reply, Sanjay breaks out into the brightest of smiles, such a contrast from his pensive look before that it rattles Beth's soul awake.

"Then you must be my soulmate," he proclaims proudly. "I'm Sanjay Thakkar."

To greet one another, Sanjay holds his hand out to shake whilst Beth goes in for a hug — both of them are halted awkwardly in the middle of their pursuit. After some quick deliberation and an awkward chuckle, he gives into the embrace and wraps his arms around her. It suddenly dawns on Beth that she isn't sure when was the last time she just hugged someone like this. She breathes in the musky scent in his shirt, not quite what she had expected, before tilting her chin up so it can (almost) rest on his shoulder.

You're hugging your soulmate, she reminds herself. Then it all boggles her mind again. This is the so-called person she was destined to be with, whose soul should be a perfect match with hers. It only seems slightly cruel that they should only meet this person when they die.

When they let go, Sanjay steps back to get another look at her. Beth clears her throat, a million questions racing through her mind. How do you even begin a conversation with your soulmate? This person who feels like a stranger, but has been confirmed by the universe to be your other half — the whole debate about compatibility already ticked off the list. She might as well have been set up on a blind date equipped with a pen to sign the marriage certificate.

"That's a lovely name. Sanjay."

"Thanks," he nods, scratching his head. "Your name is very nice too."

"By the way, Beth is fine. Most people I'm close with call me Beth, and seeing as we're... soulmates..." she bats her eyelids for a moment, still incredulous over it all. "Sorry, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this."

     He puffs out a breath. "I know. It's crazy, right?"

     "I'm sure I'll be alright in a few minutes. I just... I feel like I don't know where to begin."

     Sanjay ponders this for a moment. His eyes are so dark, yet have a childish twinkle in them like a starlit sky — it seems to show particularly when he is thinking about something. "Well, how about we pretend this isn't as weird as it is, and... we do icebreakers? You know, like a first date or something."

     Beth hums. "I could do that."

     "Alright," Sanjay nods and leans on the side of the bridge again. She joins him and stares out at the river by his side — it feels a little too intense to maintain eye contact right now. "Let's see... maybe we could start with what you did on Earth. What was your job?"

     "I was an estate agent," she replies flatly.

     "Cool. What's that like, then? I don't know anything about real estate, except how much of a drag it was when I tried buying a house..."

     Beth chuckles painfully, and before she can stop it, she feels herself re-living all of her work days — the nose to the grindstone, the phones ringing everywhere, the pressure from all sides squashing her in the middle like a hydraulic press. Of course, there were those really good days when things would run so smoothly it suspended all belief. But those days were sporadic and difficult to foresee.

"It certainly keeps you... on your toes," Beth shrugs.

"Did you always know you wanted to work in real estate?"

"Um..."

Hell no.

"... I think I just embraced whatever life threw at me," Beth settles for, trying to make it sound more confident than self-deprecating.

     Sanjay doesn't seem to notice if she is faltering, because he has listened intently to everything she said. He already has a cheeky grin spreading on his face as he re-directs his attention. "Alright, your turn," he says. "What do you think I do?"

     "Oh God, don't ask me that!" she cringes, "I'll get it embarrassingly wrong..."

     "Try me."

     With a reluctant sigh, Beth takes him in, trying to get a gauge on Sanjay. She still doesn't know whether she can get a proper read on him — he seems attentive and charming, sure, but anything deeper seems to be kept under lock and key. The only thing she can draw from is his smart-casual outfit, which steers her towards a certain field...

     "Sales, maybe?" she offers, immediately regretting her guess at his reaction. "I forked that one up, didn't I?"

     "It's okay, you didn't..." Sanjay laughs, as if amused by the whole thing. "No, I'm– I mean I was a dietician."

     "Really? Actually, one of my friends from Sixth Form became a nutritionist—"

     "Ah, no, nutritionists and dieticians are very different. Trust me on that one."

     "Oh, right. My bad," Beth says curtly. She wishes she could completely retract everything she just said; but at the same time, Sanjay still seems so at ease that she can't worry completely about saying the wrong thing. "So, what field did you work in as a dietician? Anything specific?"

     Sanjay's expression softens with earnestness, like the passion for his work has just been set aflame; how she wishes she could feel that. "Well, I mainly focused on improving school meals to become more sustainable and nutritious for kids. It was in the UK at first, but when the movement really got going, I got to visit hundreds of deprived areas across the world to carry that message on."

     "Wow, that's... actually that's amazing." She gazes at him filled with admiration; this man who clearly has a passion for what he does (or did), and put out an impactful legacy into the world. Could she say the same about herself?

     She is eager to ask him more, but before Beth can get a word in, Michael's voice snaps her out of it: "Ah!" he cheers, snapping his fingers, "I see you two are getting along already."

     "Yes, I think we are," Sanjay smiles fondly at Beth. "Thank you, Michael."

     "I'm glad I found the two of you together. Now, as soulmates, you'll get to share a home together... care to walk with me and I'll show you?"

✮

Beth has seen many houses in her thirty years of life — all shapes and sizes, the good, the bad, and the ugly. She likes to think she is open-minded about living spaces. So, when the Good Place has promised her a home which is a perfect match with her soul (and probably her soulmate, too), she assumes she must be in good hands. Already, she is loving the wooden outhouse Michael has led them to, panelled with warmly-stained wood and wide-open, modern windows. It is located in the middle of parkland that overlooks a great lake and has the backdrop of a forest thick with trees. Just next to it, a picnic table is set up with a garland of glowing outdoor lights strung above.

     "This is a nice little area," Sanjay whispers to Beth, and she nods at him with a smile. Neither of them consider for one second that it is anything more than that.

     "And here we are!" Michael gestures to the house with excited jazz hands.

     "... Here we are?" Beth echoes, slightly confused. She looks back at the shed — or house, as she should now call it — as it slowly dawns on her. This isn't just a part of the house... as far as she understands it, this is the house. The place where they will be living together for all of eternity. Don't complain, you are in literal Heaven, she reminds herself. But Beth can't lie when she says the size perplexes her. She is pretty sure that Sanjay's wingspan covers half of the little home's length.

     "This is your home," Michael clarifies, delighted at his decision.

     Sanjay squints at it, nose wrinkled either from the sun or masked hesitation. "It's very... minimalistic," he finally opts for, as a middle ground.

     "Exactly! Between your appreciation for the simple things in life and Beth's adaptability, we thought a tiny-living arrangement would be perfect for you both. Very modern, very sustainable. Come on in, I'll show you two around — although I guess the tour will be pretty quick..."

     You don't say, she thinks. Beth follows Michael inside, Sanjay having stepped aside chivalrously. The room is brought to life with natural light pouring in from the (very close) walls, illuminating everything from the teal sofa cosied in front of the wood burner, to the compact kitchen with a breakfast bar that folds out. The level upstairs must be where the bedroom is (although perhaps 'room' is an overstatement). House plants dangle from the limited shelf-space, freshening the air to pleasantly match that of outside the house. Beth has to admit, it's a nice change from the traffic and high street noise from her old flat in Surrey.

"We borrowed a lot of ideas from Scandinavian interior design," Michael informs them. "You know, how they manage to squish everything into a closet or a neat little table that folds out... like IKEA. You guys are obsessed with IKEA on Earth."

"Good thing you didn't make us construct any IKEA furniture," Beth quips, "or I'd start to wonder if we were in the Bad Place instead."

"The Bad Pl– oh, ha! I get it! That was a joke!" Michael snorts, as it quickly turns into a wheeze of laughter that she and Sanjay soon join in — all apprehensions aside, there is something really charming about this house. Sure, it seems very small, especially for the two of them. But they can make that work in due time. After all, Beth made it to the Good Place, and somehow they reserved this home just for her and her soulmate. It must be special.

"Anyway," Michael straightens his glasses, voice still high-pitched on a descent from laughter, "you can see the bedroom is upstairs. The show is just through that door there, but I think you'll want to mind your head, Sanjay. It isn't possible to get a concussion in the Good Place but it pays to be careful."

Sanjay shoots him a thumbs up, before examining the kitchen utilities with great interest. Beth looks up and notices a small light fixture hanging from the ceiling — like fireflies floating around a branch and its greenery. How beautiful. Spotting the light switch next to the door, she wanders over and, without looking, flicks the switch.

"Oh, Beth, about the—"

Michael's warning comes too late. The room plunges into darkness as the windows blot out, instead splaying the walls with a magenta tint and spots of  rotating disco lights, while from out of nowhere blasts at just a notch too loud:

     "Never gonna give you up,
     never gonna let you down,
     never gonna run—"

     As quickly as she pressed it, Beth punches the switch with a maddened resolve. Instantaneously it all vanishes. The lights returned to normal, she stands like a deer in headlights; Sanjay looks just as stunned behind a snort of muffled laughter. Michael opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish gaping for air in the silence.

     "... What did I just do?" Beth whimpers, eyes wide in horror.

     "I should've probably mentioned that earlier," Michael shakes his head with shame. "That's the Party Switch. Your home is installed with a feature that, when you activate it, turns on the disco lights in your house and will begin playing Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' from every corner of the room at full blast. What is it the humans call that again?"

"... Rick-rolling?"

"That's it! So unbelievably human, isn't it?" the architect giggles, clearly tickled by the whole concept.

     "So, this is the light switch...?" Uneasily, Beth eyes a very slim switch parked right next to the Party Switch — they look like they could be the same one at first glance. To her delight, pressing the other switch turns on the ceiling light as she'd hoped, giving the room an extra warm glow. "There we go," she breathes out a sigh of relief.

     "You'll notice the two switches are crammed very closely together. I apologise for the inconvenience but, you know—"

     "Tiny living? I guess that makes sense..." Sanjay trails off.

"Look, I just got into Heaven, so I'm not gonna complain about the furniture," Beth concludes with a chuckle.

Michael clasps his hands together with a pop, slowly backing away towards the door (which only takes one small stride). "Well, I think that concludes the tour. It didn't have to take very long. I think I should leave you two to get used to your surroundings. You know, find your footing a little. Any more questions, you can ask Janet or find me later..." With one foot out of the door, he suddenly stops, turning to them earnestly. "... Enjoy your time here, alright? You've earned it."

Beth and Sanjay exchange a look, then a smile, before watching Michael duck out of the front door. And then there were two. They both seem to have the same idea — checking out the 'upstairs' area. It is a short climb up a small staircase, with a slanted ceiling neither of them can stand to their full height under. There, nestled snugly in the corner, is a double bed basking in the sunlight flooding through the windows.

She hadn't even thought about them sharing a bed. Beth swallows thickly, trying to play it cool. This is your soulmate, she tries to tell herself, you're meant to be together. But the more she thinks about it, the more she finds herself jarred by the idea of sharing a bed tonight with someone who still seems like a complete stranger.

Luckily, Sanjay seems to be having the same thoughts: "Looks a bit tight, doesn't it?" he mumbles.

"Yeah..."

She can feel him glance at her. "Look," he sighs, "why don't you take the bed tonight? I'll find somewhere else to sleep."

"Somewhere else? Where?" Beth furrows her brows at him, already feeling guilty. "Sanjay, with all due respect, you lying down probably takes up all the floor space in the kitchen."

"I'll ask Janet for a blow-up bed, or something. It's no big deal."

"... Are you sure? It just seems—"

"I'm positive."

Climbing carefully back down the steps again, Beth feels a frown stretching her face uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, I– I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. It all just feels so... new," she confesses.

Sanjay hops down a couple of steps, reaching out a reassuring hand to touch her shoulder. "I know what you mean. This is a lot to adjust to for me as well. But if you think about it, we have the whole of eternity to get to know one another. There's no reason why we should rush things. Let's just... take things slow, to begin with. We're in the Good Place — we shouldn't be finding reasons to feel miserable, should we?"

Beth hums, shrugging as though he has a point. When she looks up again, the warmth of his gaze is still trailing over her. "What?" she asks.

"I'm just..." Sanjay smiles again, almost shyly, "I'm just really happy I've met you."

There it is again. That wonderful feeling of being appreciated by this stranger who hardly knows her. The Good Place already felt like some bizarre dream, but somehow, it has been meeting Sanjay which has cemented some reality into it. She could grow to love him, she thinks. Maybe with enough time. "Ditto," Beth tells him, pulling his hand from her shoulder and wrapping it around her as she steals another hug. Face nuzzled into his shirt again, she tries to resist shaking her head in disbelief. A lovely (albeit small) house, nice neighbours, a kind and handsome soulmate...

This place is too good to be true, Beth thinks with a blissfully happy grin.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

A/N:

bet you weren't expecting to get rick-rolled in chapter one 🤠

this was chapter was actually very fun to write, mainly because with the kind of show TGP is, you can really go as wacky as you like and it can still be justified. but i must admit i'm still trying to figure out some of the details when it comes to backstory or character behaviours... either way, i can promise you that you guys are in for a ride. what do we think of beth, sanjay, etc? or the chapter in general? i worried my writing was a bit lacklustre at times, but i often think that when writing a first chapter.

i would like to take this moment to thank everyone for the response to me posting this fic — it genuinely surprised me how many people were fans of TGP and seemed excited to read this. it was so encouraging and inspiring to see that, so once again, thank you!

also while i'm here, this chapter took so long to edit because the formatting wouldn't co-operate; e.g. it wouldn't align the way i wanted or the text would appear really tiny if copy+pasted. and i thought to myself... THIS is the bad place.

( PUBLISHED: 15th March, 2024 )