Chishiya

I woke up from my unconscious state while hearing Kuina's high pitched voice in my ear. Her worried face was close to me and I could feel her warm breath brush against my cheek. I felt pressure against my side and grunted in pain. I blinked a couple of times and shook my head to make my gaze clear.

When I looked aroune, I saw Arisu some metres away from me, kneeling down next to a panting Usagi. She was probably in shock because of what happened. Behind them, Niragi paced around aimlessly. He seemed in a raged panic, grabbing his hair with his fists. All of them were bruised and scratched from our fight with the King of Spades, but Niragi looked worse then the rest. So did I, probably.

'Chishiya, thank God you are awake! I was deeply worried. You're losing so much blood and we didn't know what to do and...' Kuina rattled.

I frowned my brows to concentrate on what she was saying, but her words gave me a headache.

She saw my expression and went silent. Then, she whispered: 'I am just glad you are still alive. Niragi almost killed Usagi but you jumped in front of her... Why did you... I mean... When I said you needed to do something big for me to forgive you, I did not mean this. I forgive you, though...'

I looked down, at my own body and saw that she pressed a t-shirt against my side. It was bloodied and still wet, what meant the blood coming from my wound didn't harden yet.

'Calm down, Kuina. I am still here. Let me see...'

By the sound of my voice, Niragi abruptly stopped his pacing and jerked his head up to look at me. He stumbled towards me, pushed Kuina away and embraced me tightly while mumbling in my ear: 'I am so sorry, Shiya. I am sorry. What the fuck did you think, jumping in front of her? I didn't want to hit you! Why did you do that? I am so- sorry, darling...'

I grunted in pain because of his embrace and leant a bit back to detach myself from him.

'I need to take you to our camp, now. We have stuff to patch you up there, and...' he started.

'Indeed. Let me talk to Kuina first, to talk over a potential plan to face the Queen of Hearts,' I replied.

But he already picked me up from the concrete and shouted to the group: 'you lot take care of the bitch Queen of Hearts. We are too weak to do so right now. He needs rest.' Then, he turned around to leave and said more softly, so that only I could hear it: 'the both of us already have a plan and we fucking stick to that. Let them find the Queen so we can blow them up.'

Before I could say something else, he started walking away. Over his shoulder, I glanced at Kuina, trying to mimick the words that I said earlier: 'do not go to the Queen with them.'

Niragi

I tasted blood in my mouth but tried to swallow it as I carried Chishiya to our camp. I shot him, so I had to carry him back to safety. I was already dreading the climb on the ladder with him over my shoulder, but I tried to push through.

To break the silence, I asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue: 'd- do you still like me...?'

I felt him shifting in my arms. He slowly replied, with another question: 'why did you try to shoot Usagi?'

He didn't answer me. Did he hate me for what I did?

'I wanted to prove a point.'

'What point?' he smirked.

He hated me. He didn't love me anymore. I felt desperation building up in the depth of my core.

'You wouldn't understand.'

'Try explaining, then. I am smarter than you think,' he said ironically.

I sighed: 'I think you are fucking smart. It is just... kinda a... bad point. That I wanted to prove.'

He stayed silent, waiting for me to go on.

I huffed while carrying him, his weight - that normally felt like nothing to me - becoming more and more of a burden to my severed body. Desperately, I tried to explain myself to him: 'I was proving him that we aren't alike. He wasted his own damn life. Mine was wasted by bad people. So I became fucking bad myself. Borderland gave Arisu hope for the real world, but it only made me more desperate to stay here. Right here, where I feel I belong. Borderland is the only place I ever felt safe from bad people. As if I am the one in control here. Besides, I can't go back! What normal person would want to have anything to do with... thís?!'
I gestured to my torso with my free hand, pointing out my burned skin. 'I wouldn't belong anywhere. For the time being, the only place we can ever exist like this, is here.'

We arrived at the bottom of the stairs leading to the camp and I braced myself to start the climb. But then, Chishiya lowered himself from my shoulder and got on his own feet. Looking directly in mine, his eyes burned with anger and passion. He looked weak, having one hand placed on a rung of the ladder to support himself while the other grasped around his waist to press the shirt against his side. But he also looked strong, one way or another, because his eyes were lighting up. He gazed at me, ready to burst out.

'For the time being?' he asked sharply.

My eyes teared up. 'I am dying, Chishiya. I didn't show you, but I am in pain. I am bleeding internally, having to spit blood every now and then because... Why? My organs are failing? I am fucking burned on every side like a rotisserie chicken, so it wouldn't be weird if that's what's fucking happening!' I had to cough and blood spilled out of my mouth. Wiping it away with the sleeve of my short, I looked back at him to see his gasping mouth.

Chishiya

'Why didn't you tell me how bad it was? Why didn't you let me in? I am a doctor, Niragi! If I had known you spit blood, I could've helped you before it became worse!' I spit out while bracing myself for the intense pain in my side my outburst gave me.

'I... d-don't know... I didn't think that this could be healed anymore. I already accepted that I'd never leave Borderland anyways, so I thought I could better make an end to it quickly?' he said uncertainly.

'Well, I don't accept it. Come, let's get up to our hiding place so I can see what we can do about the both of us' I mumbled while grabbing the first rung of the ladder to our last hiding spot on the roof of this building.

We climbed the ladder in silence, the both of us with our own thoughts. It took way too long because of our injuries but eventually, we got there. I sat down, took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. I lost a lot of blood so I felt a bit dizzy after the climb.

'Okay, sit down, Niragi' I commanded while looking through the backpack with medicines. There was only so much left to last a few painfree hours.

'Take some painkillers to start with. I'll give you some fresh bandages to prevent infection' I said while handing him the pills.

He took them from me, swallowed them dry and grabbed the laptop that was waiting there for him.

I started taking my shirt off and looked at the damage. I grabbed some alcohol, rubbed it on a clean shirt and gently pressed it on the wound in my side. It hurt but I tried to bite my tongue to stay focused. I did this to patients a hundred times. If they could bare it, I could too. I bandaged up myself and looked at Niragi, who was focused on his screen.

I asked him: 'what are you looking at?'

He grinned and shifted his eyes towards me while singing: 'I succeeded in putting the tracker on Arisu without him noticing. Look, he is going right to where he needs to go!'

He turned the screen so I could see what he was pointing at: a map of Tokyo with a red, moving dot. Then, I looked at the real Tokyo in front of us and compared the two. The dot, which was Arisu, went straight to the final zeppelin in the sky. The one with the Queen of Hearts card dangling under it.

'I only need to find a nearby drone in the sky now and program it to follow the tracker and strike when asked!' Niragi explained while turning the laptop back to himself and tapping some keys.

I nodded, got behind him and started unwinding the bandages around his torso while he was working. The more I uncovered him, the more it occured to me how bad he actually looked: his burns where still smouldering and his skin was burning hot.

'Niragi?' I asked while gently rubbing his wounds with a cloth.

He hummed to show he was listening.

I cleared my throath and went on: 'I forgive you and I still like you. I mean. I actually still... love you. And I want to ask you once more... to try to go to the real world again with me. You said earlier that no one would want to have anything to do with... you and how you look. But as a matter of fact, I wouldn't want you any other way. And I hope that that's enough for you. Me wanting you. I don't want to be here any longer if that means I have to be fearful you'll die. I want you to be safe... With me. So if I'm right and if we can go after all the Face Cards are defeated, I want you to come with me.'

I went silent and he didn't react. I tried again: 'I'm sorry, Niragi. I'm not good with words when it comes to emotions... Just... I'll promise that we will do it your way. This plan. We will bomb the Queen and make the most beautiful freaking light show out of it. But after, promise me you will come with me when the time comes. If we are still alive by then.' I looked down at my own wound. At the newly put on bandage that already started to turn a pinkish red again. Then, I looked at Niragi's burned back and waited for an answer.

Niragi nodded slowly: 'okay, darling. Let's fucking light that place up.'

[End of chapter forty two]

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Hi! Damn, I am so so sorry that I didn't publish again after such a long time. Life is busy and shit, but I watched 'After', which is based on a Wattpad fanfic, and you know, it gave me the urge to start writing on here again! I hope you didn't forget about me in the meantime. Hope you like this chapter! Leave a vote and/or comment, it really motivates me to go on! Love, Midnightwritings.

Photo from the Alice in Borderland series on Netflix