what if i told you i'm a mastermind?

"Eves, you know that's a really mean thing to do to whichever poor soul you choose, right?"

"Oh... Is it?"

"Yes!"

"Well... Does it make me an even more evil person if I choose one of his best friends?"

"Absolutely... But I'll still support you in it."

Evie and Oliver sat on the Hogwarts Express in their own compartment, the best friend duo currently lazing next to each other. Evie's head was plopped in Oliver's lap, her hand held by him as he drew stars on the back of it.

To most people, they looked like a couple in love, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Evie wished it was that easy. No, Oliver was very much so gay. (They figured this out back in fourth year after Oliver asked to kiss Evie as part of his experiment. Needless to say, there were no sparks — although Oliver was a great kisser.)

They were just the bestest of friends, truly! They met back in Diagon Alley before the start of their first year, and Evie practically fell in love — but not in that way! Ew.

He just matched her energy, he got her. Oliver Kim was Evie Kaneko's twin flame; as soon as they met, both just felt at home. Nowadays, you would never see one without the other — especially since they only lived five minutes away from each other. Evie was always at Ollie's, or vice-versa.

They were always in constant physical contact with one another (it was both of their love languages, along with acts of service, fun fact!) and it just came naturally. Most of their classmates thought they were together, and sometimes, the two would play along. Even Oliver's fling would play into it!

"Which one do you think I should seduce?" Evie smirked, looking up at her best friend who made a disgusted face.

"Eugh, don't say seduce, you sound like a 30 year old woman when you say it, Eves."

"Fine," She rolled her eyes, "Which one should I flirt with and fuck?"

Oliver pondered for a moment, "Well... Potter is in love with Lily Evans, Lupin's got all the Gryffindors after him so you'd never have a chance. Pettigrew?"

Evie scoffed, her jaw dropping open. "What makes you think I'd never have a chance? All I've got to do is wear a push-up bra and a v-neck shirt and he's all mine!"

"Oh, and you think he's a tits man?"

"He's definitely a tits man!"

The pair bickered back and forth until Evie slapped Oliver's mouth and he stared at her, flabbergasted. "Well, anyways, I think I'd have a fair shot with all three of them! Potter would be a nice fuck and it wouldn't be a long-term thing — just something to get back at Sirius!"

"Okay, I'm gonna ignore the fact that you slapped my mouth, Eve—"

"Oh, quit your whining!"

"—And say that you want Sirius to think it's a long-term thing! That'll get him real good," Oliver nodded with a smile, proud of himself for the mischievous plan. Evie froze and looked up at Oliver with wide eyes. He became nervous under her gaze until she murmered, "Ollie, I think that's the smartest thing I've heard you say since last year."

"Oh, come off it," Oliver shouted, Evie cackling as he slapped her left boob. Just in that moment, the compartment door opened and four boys looked in with wide eyes.

The two best friends froze, raising their brows.

"Everywhere else is full," Peter squeaked out, trying his best to not stare at Evie's chest.

It's not like she noticed Peter, though. She was too focused on trying not to glare at Sirius Black.

Yesterday morning, she was blissfully infatuated with him, and now, here she was: oozing hatred and disgust — although, she was masking it fairly well. Instead of glaring and snapping at him like she wanted, Evie put on her biggest grin and waved at them.

"Hi, boys! Go ahead and join us, we don't mind," She replied, waving over Peter, "Come on, Peter, sit here! I don't bite."

Peter's face grew beet red, sitting next to the duo hesitantly. His eyes widened, watching as Evie put her legs over his lap. She noticed, smirking, "Just getting comfortable, Peter."

Oliver ignored the other boys, still focusing on tracing random shapes on Evie's hand as he spoke of his day. "So anyways, Mum was whinging on and on about Dad again."

Evie groaned, "What now? Did he leave the toilet seat up like last time? Oh, or did he go out to eat and not buy her anything?"

Oliver snapped and pointed down at her, "Right on the nail. She was livid when he came home with leftovers but didn't bring her some chips. I had to listen to her complain for thirty minutes!"

"Eugh, what a nightmare," Evie rolled her eyes, "She makes me glad my mum's dead."

Oliver snorted, and the duo continued to speak about Mrs. Kim, meanwhile the Marauders stared at them with wide eyes. On the other side of the compartment, James leaned over to Sirius and whispered, "Yeah, mate, I'd say you were wrong. She looks totally fine."

"I swear to you, she was very upset yesterday," Sirius whined, completely shocked on how normal Evie was acting. He cleared his throat obnoxiously loud, catching the attention of his now ex-girlfriend and her best friend.

"Eves... Are you alright?"

"I'm... fine? Why do you ask?" Evie responded with furrowed brows. (She was definitely smirking on the inside.)

"We broke up yesterday," Sirius reminded her with wide eyes, "Don't you remember?"

"Oh, I remember, silly!"

"Then why do you seem so... normal?" Sirius practically shouted, still perplexed by her regular mood, "Yesterday, you were crying really bad!"

"And this morning, I woke up refreshed," Evie countered with a smile, shocking everyone sans Oliver, "Besides, didn't I see you flirting with Cecily from Ravenclaw earlier on the platform? I'd say we're both okay with how things worked out."

Sirius' jaw fell, stumbling to reply until Evie sighed. She used the same exact tone he did yesterday, relishing in the satisfaction it brought her. "Okay, Sirius, let's talk this through for a second, yeah? You and I are done, right?"

"Right," He frowned.

"We're free to date other people, as you established yesterday, right?"

"Right."

"Also, like you said yesterday, we don't have to care about each others' feelings anymore, right? We can just pretend like we never dated, right?"

Sirius squirmed under the gaze of the other four boys, mumbling, "Well, yes, I said that, but—"

"Then it's settled," Evie nodded with a grin, "Let's go back to how we were at the beginning of the year — we don't talk at all! Just as you wanted."

Evie turned back to Oliver — who was currently holding back his laughter — and tugged on the end of his sleeve, "Do you think I should bleach my hair, Ollie?"

He snorted, "Hell yeah, I'll do it with you. I'm sure I can get Minho to help us — maybe he'll want to bleach his, too!"

As Evie and Oliver continued babbling on, the Marauders stared at them in disbelief. Remus whispered in awe, "How do they just change subjects so fast like that? And how did she just let your breakup go so easily?"

"I don't know, mate, but it's messing with my head," Sirius complained, running his hands through his hair.

>_<

Evie and Oliver reentered the compartment, now dressed in their school robes. The girl brushed through her best friend's hair, humming, "Bleach this time, and then we'll wait for your hair to grow out and give you a perm?"

Oliver looked at her with wide eyes, nodding frantically, "난 좋아."
(I like it.)

They sat back down, Evie placing her legs in his lap this time while he put his hands over said legs, rubbing his thumb over her knee. "아싸! I'm excited now," She grinned widely.
(Nice!)

Growing up, Oliver and Evie really only had each other. This meant that they learned each others' respective languages, and then some other ones when they got bored. (Mostly, they spoke in Korean and Japanese, since they picked up those languages the quickest. Their third was ASL, which they also learned with Oliver's something.)

Behind them, two out of the four boys reentered: Sirius and Peter. They plopped down on the other side of the compartment, Sirius complaining about his tie. Oliver spoke up, brows furrowed, "Where's the other two?"

"Prefects meeting," Peter answered, giving Evie a pointed look. She winced, "Oh, right. I'm in that, too... Is it bad if I skip out on it? It's just so far away."

"It's five doors down," Peter chuckled, Evie waving him off.

"Go, Eve," Oliver urged her, giving a look, "이건 완벽해!"
(This is perfect!)

Evie's eyes widened, clapping once, "맞아! I'll see you losers later! Love you, Sungie!"
(That's right!)

"나도," Oliver replied, waving her off as she zoomed out.
(Me too!)

As soon as Evie opened the compartment door, all heads turned to her. She sauntered in with an innocent smile, giving a wave to James Potter and Lily Evans, the Head Boy and Girl of the year. Lily Evans sighed, "Why are you late, Miss Kaneko?"

Evie scrunched her nose, "Why are you so formal, Lily? Miss Kaneko is reserved for 40 year olds, thanks," James held back his laughter at this, "But, to answer your question, I was in the lavatory. Now, let's get back to this meeting, shall we?"

Lily rolled her eyes but nodded, choosing to let it slide this once. (It was more like several times that Evie had pushed her buttons, but that wasn't important.)

Evie went to sit down, but she noticed an empty spot beside Remus Lupin. With a smug smile, she sat next to him, flipping her hair backwards. Remus glanced at her for a moment, noting her scent of vanilla and... Was what...? Ylang-ylang? (Remus only knew this scent because his mother was practically obsessed with essential oils, and no, he totally didn't like the smell!)

Evie glanced back, leaning backwards slightly to get a better view. She admired him from her side view, her eyes darting all around. Remus had an annoyingly perfect nose bridge, long eyelashes, and the fluffiest light brown hair. She could see just how he was known as the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower. He would be a fine target.

Remus turned his neck slightly, speaking under his breath, "Why are you staring at me?"

Evie grinned, "Just admiring the art in front of me, Remus John."

Remus stiffened, "You were literally dating my best friend yesterday, Evangeline."

She scrunched up her nose, "Why must you always call me by my full name? Literally no one else does... And besides, he told me to pretend we never dated, so that's exactly what I'm doing."

Remus sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. Evie held back her laughter, choosing to cross her legs so her left calf was touching Remus' calf. He didn't move away, he just looked down to see the interaction. Evie smirked, Oh, so he didn't mind?

It was just Evie's thing, physical touch. It's why she always sat next to Oliver anywhere — they both loved physical touch, and they were clingy enough to provide it for each other. Even when Evie was next to someone else, she had to have some kind of touch with them. (If Oliver wasn't there, Minho was, and he loved physical touch, too!)

Evie felt more content now, choosing to (somewhat) listen into the prefect patrolling schedules Lily Evans made.

"Here are your schedules. If you have any questions, now is the time to ask," Lily instructed while James handed out the pieces of parchment for each of them. When he handed Evie hers, she thanked him with a flirty smile. James, being James, gave one back. Evie looked through her schedule, immediately raising her hand.

"Yes, Evie?"

She gave her best fake-pout, "I'm not even scheduled with Remus John once, can we change that?"

Everyone's eyes grew wide, but especially Remus'. "Me? Why?" He pointed to himself. Evie smiled innocently, "Is it so wrong of me to want one patrol with you? You're competent, strict but still nice, and you don't mind taking away points. I have trouble with that, you see."

Lily bit back a smile, choosing to nod. "Sure. You can take the patrol tomorrow night with Remus. I'm sure Reilly wouldn't mind?"

Reilly Aster shrugged, "I don't mind at all. So then, I'll take Evie's shift with Samantha?"

James nodded, "Sounds like a good idea. Any other questions?"

Everyone shook their heads, and the meeting was dismissed. Evie stood up, looking up at Remus beside her. "I hope you don't mind, Remus John," She faked a worried expression, "I just think you're a more capable prefect than I am."

Remus flushed, "No, it's alright. Uh, thanks."

It was just too easy. Boys loved compliments, she found out a few years ago, and it inflated their egos and let their guard down. Evie smiled, waving him with her, "No problem. Now, come on, I wanna go back to the compartment to sit with Ollie. Hurry!"