"How strange it is ,
I dream of you, wide awake
A dream that is a beautiful escape
Escape into the best days,
Days which we may never witness."

3 years later

"Aii Nin! Hurry up, am not gonna wait anymore."

Lies. I can wait for you forever.

-"Just a minute,  I need to look good for my date right after the class."

Yes, three years have passed since I have officially had a crush on Nin.

It is really sad when I see Nin going on endless dates. Just when I think it is the right time for me to confess my feelings to her, she brings in a new date.

"Hey! am ready, let's goooo~" Nin grabs her bag and we move out.

-"So? will we have our movie night after your date or no?" I confirm with her.

"Of course luv, we will." She says as she enters in the class.

I don't get to see her after the class, she leaves halfway when her date arrives.

Later in the day.

I enter Nin's room, set up a table and 2 bean bags. Make some popcorn and rub my hands together staring at the perfect set up for a movie night. 
I hate to say it, but I can't help but smile endlessly as I look forward to spending time with Nin.

5 mins later I receive few texts from Nin.

"Hey Luv!
Am so sorry can't make it tonight.Let's plan the movie night some other time.Sleep well."

My heart sank. She ditched on me as usual, despite this being common to me, I can't get a hang of it.
I rush to my room. No matter how much I tried to wipe my tears off, they won't stop. I am not crying because she ditched me, but because she does it every time and I feel like a helpless loser who can do nothing but just stare Nin going on dates.

I always want to be there for her, but sometimes it just hurts. It hurts so bad that I shut myself in the bathroom for hours and cry, cry for no reason. She is not mine, I don't have any right over her. Yet, I happen to feel so bad. Even after she hurts me this much, I happen to long for her embrace, her warmth.

I must be really  selfish and shameless...

To want her in my darkness,
To want her in my sadness that fills her absence.