''Cause now I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been'

"Yes, I know it was bad, and I could have aimed somewhere not deadly, talked... But Douglas was a bad person. He was about to rape Angel, and I didn't know at the time, but she wasn't the first girl. He's raped many girls and always got away with it," I pleaded, trying to convince her as much as myself as the moment spun again and again before my eyes, at the tip of my fingers, and through my veins.

The adrenaline and shivers were as intense as that night. However, today, it wasn't a bang that froze it all.

It was two words, and they were as ear-piercing, heart-stopping, and deadly as a gunshot. "I know."

"You k-know?" I repeated numbly, unable to even blink my eyes to make sure I had imagined it.

I had imagined it; it was the only possibility because Daisy was supposed to tell me that I was a murderer, that I'd made a mistake, and that Douglas was an honor citizen and the gentleman every lady was dreaming of.

She wasn't supposed to know the monster he had been. The only people who knew were the ones who had witnessed from afar or too close–

"Daisy?" I leaned my head down, searching for her gaze and refusing to contemplate why she knew, refusing to see the obvious from her frozen stance to her eyes down as she was hiding again. "Daisy... please, look at me. You're scaring me."

Could it be called fear, though? Yes, there was this nagging dread in the pit of my stomach, but the shivers running through my body weren't out of fear, nor from the cold of her freezing hand as I reached out. It was from powerlessness, and each second of her silence was sending it deeper into my bones until I was paralyzed when she lifted her gaze to me.

There, I couldn't avoid the evident answer, and before she even opened her mouth, I saw it, the way she had frozen when Mom had mentioned Douglas during one of her visits; I felt it, the protectiveness with which she had taken Spencer's side to prove he was much better for me, and I heard it, Douglas's last words to me when he'd cornered me in that courtyard... 'You're more difficult than your sister.'

"I know because I was one of those girls... he raped." These words were indeed worse than a gunshot, and Daisy's whisper landed straight into my chest, a numbness spreading like a shiver from there until the tip of my finger, which seemed to be the only thing in my body moving, twitching in a trigger motion again and again.

Many times I'd asked myself what I would do if I could turn back time. Would I still pull the trigger? In that instant, in front of my sister's glimmering eyes, I had no doubt. I would do it again and again and again–

"It's okay. It was a long time ago." She softly stopped the movements of my hand with hers, offering me a small, reassuring, and polite smile that only tensed me more, and my lips could barely move to let out a single 'when?'.

"In senior year of high school, you know how I was always staying late to practice with the cheer team." Her gaze automatically went down again, though I didn't know if I hated that she was hiding from me again, or if I was thankful when the empty breath she took in and her trembling voice were already too heavy on my ribcage. "One day, I found myself alone, and he cornered me in the locker room..."

She didn't add anything else, and she didn't have to. Douglas's hovering figure was already haunting me every night, and the silhouettes stuck behind were as vivid in my memories as the photo of Blade's mom I'd seen yesterday. Then, I just needed to replace Angel's dark hair and eyes with those ginger strands and pale eyes that I'd always envied.

Yet as I was still crippled, these little details fell like a ton on my already tense muscles, and the pressure was so strong that it could have sparked a fire.

It actually did, as the cold powerlessness turned into something searing and dangerous, yet still as freezing, a lot like a pyroclastic rush, destroying everything on its way, and before I knew it, I was suffocating, my thoughts blurring with this thick smoke. That was surely what made me ask stupid questions.

"Does anyone know?"

"No, no one." Of course, it wasn't in the perfect lady manual. "Well, except Taylor. I don't know how, but we came to talk about it once."

If I hadn't been that numb and blinded, I would have surely commented on the fact that her own husband was unaware, and she preferred confessing to a stranger, and I wouldn't have questioned what I already knew.

"No one else?"

"You've said it yourself. He always got away with it, and he reminded me more than once. Who could I've told anyway? The parents, who are putting the Thorntons on a pedestal? The police, who works for his dad? The coach, who didn't care?" she listed the rhetorical questions without pausing, and yet, I was the one left breathless as I whispered,

"Me."

"You were just 11 at the time. You were a child. I couldn't bother you with it."

"And after? You could have told me!" I remarked, my voice rising, though I wasn't mad at her. I was mad at the fact that she'd had no one at the time, mad at Douglas, mad at the rest of the world for letting it happen, and mad at myself.

She was my sister. I should have been there for her; I should have protected her. That was what we did in families. We could die for each other. We could–

"And what would you have done? Kill him?" Her voice cut off my spiraling thoughts, the blankness in her tone clearing off the images replaying again and again in my head and bringing me back to the present time. The present time, where Douglas was already dead, and I'd killed him.

I could have almost forgotten it for an instant, as all I'd been seeing had been those distorted images of Douglas cornering my big sister, spinning as fast as the searing rage in my veins. It had been consuming, numbing, blinding... exactly like Blade's fury sometimes, and I understood what he must have felt now.

Yet I also knew better than anyone else how dangerous and deceiving it could be, and as I blinked slowly, I took in how far I'd been drifting from the present time.

The woman in front of me didn't appear like a fragile silhouette. She was an elegant lady, an amazing mother of two adorable boys, a confused housewife maybe, but mostly she was a strong woman, her gaze unwavering as she dived it into mine, and she was my sister, always there to reason me, even when it meant crossing the country for it.

That horrible incident from the past didn't define her. Just a look at our hands was showing who was the most powerless at this moment: my tight and white fists or her hand still holding them without wincing.

"I'm not gonna lie. I'm glad that he's dead, and he won't assault more innocent girls. But I would rather he was still alive and I'd even relive that..." She shook her head, still losing her words, though it only made her next ones more meaningful. "If that meant my little sister wasn't a wanted murderer, risking her life."

Just like I wished to have protected her, she did too, except that her way to do it was by sheltering me from the harsh truth, while I, I crashed, and that was what I did once more as I jumped forward.

Maybe I was still blinded, yet this time, it was by a warm rush coming from my heart and climbing up my eyes. That was the difference with earlier, and I was fully aware of the reality when I landed with all my emotions in Daisy's arms, whispering between two sniffs,

"You're so strong, Daisy."

"Not as much as you are! You saved that girl. You shot him, in a dark courtyard, in a bar full of gangsters, and you aimed perfectly. Do you realize it? That's really strong and heroic." That was probably the most improbable compliment coming from my sister, and I savored it, even though her scolding tone quickly came back, along with something that sounded like a sob and a laugh. "And reckless and crazy too!"

I appreciated even that, and everything about our messy hug, well, at least messy on my part, as my tears were staining her knitted sweater. However, she didn't pull away, returning the embrace with as many emotions, and more grace, and in the warmth of her hug and rose perfume, which I could smell even through my stuffed nose, I realized how much I'd missed her in the past months and even before.

It had been years since we hadn't shared a hug like that, and we had grown apart because of our differences and all those hardships we'd hidden from each other.

But now, we weren't concealing anything, and that was why after some time, I forced myself to lean away and face her, putting a shaky hand over my belly, which followed the movement of my deep breath.

"How bad is the situation in Subrose?"

I'd had news from Blade, of course, yet with him, nothing appeared serious, and all I'd got to learn was that the town looked 'hotter' with the signs showing my face.

Daisy, she, wouldn't distract me from the truth, and she was already wiping her glimmering eyes with a tissue to offer me a grave look. "It's bad... You're wanted for murder by the police, and the Thorntons have put a really big amount of money on your heads, yours and also Spencer's and Blade's too. It's already a miracle that no one has found you yet."

Blade's version sounded better indeed, and I was regretting his dimpled bad intention as she continued,

"Besides, Kenneth is merciless. He's taken over the police station, and he's willing to do anything to get you."

'Don't worry about Kenneth and the pigs. They can't see farther than their snouts, and I even stole one of their cars to get to Pete!'

Why did it feel like nothing could get to us through Blade's magical grin? Daisy's worried frown didn't appear as certain, and even if I could totally picture Blade driving smugly through the streets of Subrose in a police car and catching Pete off guard, I could also imagine Kenneth's soulless gaze searching everywhere for us, questioning, patrolling, and commanding everything at the station.

"And what about Raymond?" He, I couldn't envision him through all of that.

He was supposed to be at the head of the station as the sheriff, but so much could change in four months, and we'd had no news since he'd warned Spencer that the police were coming for me. Even though he couldn't be accused, knowing he was working the night of Douglas's death, he was still the owner of the murder weapon, and I feared what it would mean for him. I feared for him, and I wasn't the only one.

As much as Spencer tried to hide it, I saw him looking at the single family picture in his wallet every night, when he thought everyone was asleep.

"He is dismissed temporarily because he's the owner of the gun, and his son is a 'dangerous criminal', and also because apparently, he prevented Kenneth from shooting your car when you ran away."

"He did?" Of course, he had, and it wasn't surprise catching my breath as she nodded.

It was thanks to him that I'd been able to get away, after all. Yet it was because of me that he was in trouble.

In that getaway car, our only preoccupation had been to avoid the bullets and drive away, but we hadn't got the time to look in the rearview mirror at the people we'd left in our messy trail, and now, guilt was catching up with us.

"And the parents?" I dared to ask, my voice getting smaller, just like my chest as she let out a shallow sigh, which let me guess the answer.

"Dad lost his job too, and almost everyone in town is shutting them out."

That was one of the worst scenarios I'd considered. No, actually, the worst was...

"They must be so mad at me."

"No, I think they're more worried than mad."

Was it supposed to make me feel better? Because the tiny lift of the corner of her mouth in a sorry smile only weighed heavier on my chest.

"And Mom is in denial. She still thinks Blade has forced or manipulated you."

"He didn't!" My voice rose, as fierce as my protective instinct before it fell back down with a sigh, as I realized it wasn't my sister I had to convince. "Do you think they know the Thorntons are crooked?"

"I don't think so..." She nibbled on her lips, and I was holding on to each of her features like to all the papers in Grandpa's folder that I'd scanned for any 'Duncan' name, and like I was gripping the hope in me telling me my parents might have been interested in money and appearances, yet...

"I think they're just starting to realize the Thorntons aren't as nice as they pretend to be."

Our parents weren't bad people; that was what I read in her gaze.

"If you tell them the truth, I believe they'll always take their daughter's side, and you'll have to face it sooner or later, right?" She nudged me, literally and figuratively, as she was using my own advice against me.

Though I realized it wasn't only about evening the scores and finding back her wise sister role when she added in a whisper, "Because we'll see you again, right?"

This 'facing vulnerabilities and struggles' thing was still new to her, and me too, as I met her worried frown with a small smile.

"That's the plan... we'll expose the Thorntons to everyone and then, face the rest."

Okay, maybe it wasn't 'facing' everything, as it included lies. Yet it was about making things right for the people I'd dragged down in my crash and also the victims of the Thorntons' greediness, and that was enough to make my chest swell with hope as my gaze traveled from the brown armchair to the crime board, passing by my sister's wide eyes as she carefully followed the trail.

"I can't tell you more, except that it's an evil genius plan." I kept my lips sealed together before I could mention Grandpa's investigation because his voice was still echoing in the back of my mind... 'People in the secrecy would be put in danger', and it was already enough for Daisy, apparently.

"Okay, I don't want to know!" She'd never liked outlaws plans; she preferred princesses, fairytales, and happy endings. "Just tell me how I'll know if your plan worked?"

"Don't worry, you'll definitely know, and hopefully really soon." My hands instinctively slid to the pendant at my neck and the fidget toy in my pocket because, like my fingers, this whole plan was hanging on my two men, and as if summoned by my silent wish, the familiar voices arose from somewhere outside.

"Let me guess, I'll hear you?" she laughed lightly at Blade and Spencer's bickering seeping through the front door. "Are they always like that?"

"Um, yes, pretty much, but I take it as a nice training for a crying baby."

It was already surprising we hadn't heard them during our long conversation, and it probably had to do with Saturn playing hide and seek in the backyard.

"Yes, indeed Darin teething isn't as loud, and rude!" Her eyes widened as the voices grew louder, and we could now distinguish a few curse words, all coming from Blade, of course.

"About that... I'm sorry about Blade earlier. I promise he can be really sweet, well with some people..."

She wasn't used to his sharpness, and I had no word to explain how this dangerous criminal, handling guns and knives, could be so soft sometimes, creating delicate objects like the wooden toy in my hand, and just... caring so much. The only way to describe him was my evil genie.

"That's fine. I'm glad to know you're protected with these two men, even if–"

"Yes, I know I'll have to choose!" I groaned as she reminded me for the hundredth time, or at least, it sounded like it.

"I was about to say even if you don't need anyone to protect yourself, but yes, that too." She offered me a playful smile, though her gaze was completely serious as it traveled to the items I was still gripping in my hands and back to my eyes. "If you can face this whole matter with the Thorntons, it's nothing in comparison. Just listen to your heart."

"That's the problem! They're both in my heart." As if to prove my points, the bangs in my chest took off stronger, and it was easier to connect all the hidden links of the Thorntons' illegal activities than decipher the uneven rhythm, as both Spencer and Blade were too embedded in each of these beats.

Actually, they were in every part of me, from the precious items in my palms to my thoughts swirling around them at every second, even during this conversation with my sister, and to every inch of my being torn in two.

"It's not like you and Ernest. I feel too much for both of them. You saw where the idea of Spencer cheating took me, and it's the same with Blade. I can't imagine him with someone else, even after I've betrayed them both. I hate myself for hurting them and dragging them into all this trouble, and just the thought of losing them is terrifying me to the point that I can't breathe," I exhaled, out of breath, and yet, still more words were coming, as fast as the thuds of my heart.

"I truly love them both, and they love me for who I am, with all my messy parts. They both know how to make me feel better, make me laugh, make me melt. They're both handsome, so talented, and caring in their own unique way."

Daisy was looking at me as if I was crazy as everything that had been spinning in my head and my heart through these past months was finally slipping out.

She probably hadn't expected me to open up so much, or maybe she was just wondering if I was complaining or rejoicing, as my sighs were frustrated, yet a large grin was tingling my cheeks, and I didn't know myself what I was feeling.

"How do I choose? I love them for such different reasons... It's like choosing between chocolate and vanilla, night and day..."

The warm and bright shine of the sun or the dark, mysterious glow of the moonlight... There was no better way to describe them: two opposites in everything they did, from the way they'd greeted my sister to their reactions when I'd killed Douglas, from their kisses to our nights of love together, and even showing love to this baby... Blade was doing it with gentle brushes of his fingertips, while Spencer sent tickling kisses, both on my baby bump, both so different.

"But what if you could only have one perfume for the rest of your life?" Daisy's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, out of the erratic rhythm of my heart, and she must have noticed my lost stare as she continued, "Yes, what if you only had 12 hours left to live or see the light..."

Her 'what if' sounded too plausible and familiar, yet that was also why her next words spoke so much to my heart, sending it crashing against my ribcage with a strong bang.

"Would you want it to be night or day? Which kiss you would want to relive for the rest of your life?"

I tilted my head at the simple question. 

Since the moment they'd left me with the choice, I'd considered and compared everything, each detail I loved about them, each annoying habit they had, replaying every moment we'd shared, searching for Grandpa's secret tips everywhere, and picturing what a life with each one could be. But that, never, and as my heart slowly headed toward a more defined rhythm of erratic beats, I realized my sister could have great advice, and she hadn't made that long trip for nothing.

"I'm sure you've already made your choice deep down, and you're just afraid to break one heart."

That, I wouldn't have been so sure, though maybe, she could read through my heart better than I did, as she leaned to wipe off the tears escaping my eyes before I even felt them coming, and I was actually tempted to ask her what she'd seen that made this knowing sparkle light up in her eyes.

Yet the sound of the front door opening interrupted us, along with the annoyed mutters and heavy sighs following, and soon, Night and Day were appearing in the living room, leaving me to wonder which color I would like to see for my last moments: wide brown or sharpening crystalline?

"DD, are you crying?"

"What did she fucking do?"

I jumped out of my stare, as the question would have to wait for a quieter moment, when Blade wouldn't have a gun still tucked in his back, and my sister could make such an easy target.

"No, I'm fine! Don't worry. It's just the emotions... and hormones."

"Then it's a good thing Daisy brought a chocolate cake too." Spencer smiled, and as he turned to my sister, I took in the many Tupperware boxes in his hands, as many as Blade had grocery bags between his arms. "But is it normal that the trunk was full? We didn't know what to take?"

"Yes, yes, it's all for you, and the cake isn't only chocolate actually. It's a marble cake, with vanilla too," Daisy replied, the last part being directed towards me, like her amused gaze as she rolled her lips together, apparently finding this funnier than it was, and I did my best to ignore it.

"You didn't have to bring anything. We have enough food, you know."

"Yes, I see now, but it was in case. I feared you would have nothing, and don't worry, I used Ernest's credit card for the grocery."

Knowing how tightfisted her husband was, it was only making it better, and this time, I shared her knowing smile. "Okay, then at least, let us invite you for dinner. You have to try Saturn's eggs."

Spencer's and Blade's eyebrows were already rising up their forehead at the words, and strangely, for this, they were too similar. So before they could remind me of my kitchen disasters, I added, "Spencer and Blade will cook, and I'll set the table."

"Thanks for the invitation," Daisy replied, her manners coming back and making it sound like a formal invitation.

We could have almost forgotten she was here visiting her criminal sister, who was on the run with her 'two men', as everything felt so normal. Blade and Spencer were already heading to the kitchen, bickering about Spencer's choice of menu, while I was standing up to prepare the dining table, warmth tickling my stomach as much as the hunger at the prospect of this family dinner.

However, before I could enjoy the meal, there was something weighing on my stomach that remained to be addressed, and it was quite literal as my hand slid to my baby bump, while the other pulled my sister aside.

"Daisy, I need to ask you something."

"Yes, of course. Do you need help with anything?"

"No, no, not about the dinner." I shook my head as she stood up, rolling up her sleeves and glancing around in search of the crockery or a dish to prepare, and what would have usually made me roll my eyes and shrink at her 'perfection', only filled my chest with more assurance as I continued, "It's... If the plan doesn't work, and I can't be there for the baby..."

My hand pressed closer against my belly, as just letting out the words was tearing on all my instincts, my cells, and my heart. Yet being a parent, like being an adult, wasn't only about freedom. There were also responsibilities, and for this baby, I was ready to face them all.

"I want you to take care of her or him, and... make sure Blade and Spencer are still part of her or his life too."

We'd never talked about it together, as none of them would have accepted to even consider this possibility. Yet I'd thought about it many times, often after my nightmares, and I knew I would do everything to prevent Spencer and Blade to go down with me, no matter what happened.

Ideally, the baby would even have at least one of her or his parents with them. But the reality wasn't ideal – or a 'fairytale', as Blade would say – and the law wouldn't see how much care and love both had to give to a baby. So imagining all the worst scenarios possible, I still wanted the best for my baby, and the best mom was Daisy. I'd already decided this before, and what I'd discovered about my sister today was only confirming it.

"Dorothea," she started with that motherly tone, exactly like when she explained something to Dennis, and she surely had that serious look going with it, though I couldn't make out more than a blur of pale green as the tears were gathering behind my eyes again.

"I promise I'll always be there for this little angel, and I'll be the best... godmother, spoiling them with marble cakes and knitted sweaters, but nothing else. You'll be the one raising your child."

That was the best scenario...

"But if–"

"No 'but'. It's your baby. I believe whatever 'evil' plan you have will work, and I believe your two men will do anything to protect you and your baby, and..." She lifted her index finger, her voice still holding the tone she used with Dennis, except that it was when he would throw a tantrum, and like my little nephew, I couldn't protest as she softly put her hand over mine on my stomach. "You will be an amazing mom."

"You-you think?" I sniffled, holding on to her gaze through the wave of tears approaching, holding on to her words through the whirlwinds of doubts.

"I'm sure, because you may not know how to cook or even who's the father, but no one has as much care and love to give as you. I mean, your hens, goat, and even your two men can confirm!"

I'd forgotten that before being a mom, my sister had been a cheerleader, and she had lost nothing of her skills as she grinned, waving toward the door. Even if it wasn't the promise I'd sought, it sent a surge of belief through my veins, strong enough to wash away all the doubts and fears, and all I could feel were the beats of my heart, the warmth of my baby, a lot of love, hope for a happy ending, and... more tears.

"Oh no, please, don't cry again! I don't want Blade to kill me."

Who's crying too? 🤧

That was a lot of discussion and confession. What do you think? 🤔 Did you expect Daisy was one of Douglas's victims? She's still so strong though ❤️ and wise!

What do you think about her advice to her little sis? Will it help her to choose between Night and Day? And which team are you? 👀

Better prepare your cheering pompoms, tissues, and lifebelts for the sinking ship because the choice might happen sooner than you think... 🙊

In the meantime, who wants some marble cake? 😋😉 Comment and vote⭐ if so!

I love you my little Shooting stars! 😘✨❤️🌠