The throbbing of Shiloh's head is almost unbearable, turning her stomach with every step she takes to her shared apartment. There's a burning that slowly starts to flow through her body like a leaky dam. Dry blood covers her hands and the entire side of her face from the cut she sustained from the web grenade. She can feel the fatigue in her limbs consuming her, begging her to take a seat and just regain some form of strength but she persists. She keeps moving despite the begging and pleading of her body.

The apartment door feels like it weighs a few tons when Shiloh pushes it open but the weight in her chest lightens as she closes it. She's home, safe. It's safe here and she can sit for just a few minutes before leaving again. Her apartment is a safe haven and she's forever grateful for it and she wishes she could stay the night, stay longer and more often. But, she can't.

"Stupid...fucking...web grenades." Shiloh mutters to herself, pressing her hand back to the gash on her head, immediately flinching from the intense ache that crashes through her skull. "Fucking Peter." Her stare is on the floor, watching her feet try to get her to the bathroom before they give out.

"We were supposed to have dinner." Cindy's voice hits Shiloh's ears and there's a flood of emotions that come over Shiloh, more than she wants to deal with.

Shiloh looks up from her feet, stopping on her way to the bathroom, seeing Cindy with her arms crossed standing in the living room. "I got held up." Shiloh mutters.

"I can see that." Cindy responds, her voice cold and unconcerned until she really looks at her girlfriend. Shiloh looks sick. Her cheeks look hollowed, bags under eyes, blood everywhere. Shiloh looks completely defeated and it's crushing Cindy to watch. "C'mon," She says, changing her tone to something between concerned and flat. "I'll clean you up."

Shiloh nods, not bothering to argue as the two head to the bathroom, Shiloh taking a seat on the toilet seat while Cindy goes through their cabinets for medical supplies. While Cindy gets things together, Shiloh fills with guilt. She bails all the time on her and as someone who grew up with a superhero dad and a superhero best friend, getting ditch all the time sucks. But, is missing dinners and birthdays not worth saving lives?

Shiloh has the ability to save people, to save Peter or at least try, so why wouldn't she make the effort? It's costing her a lot, sure, but it's better than her getting the call that Peter's laid out somewhere. It's not fair to Cindy but she knew where Shiloh's morals lay before they ever got together. That's how Shiloh convinces herself that this isn't completely wrong. That it's okay to ditch and bail and come home at all hours and constantly shrug her off. Deep down she knows it's not an excuse but Shiloh's stubborn, she's stuck in her own head.

"Ow." Shiloh hisses as Cindy presses an antiseptic drenched piece of gauze to the gash on her forehead, Shiloh flinching away in response. She looks up to Cindy who's got a brow quirked, waiting for Shiloh to move back to position. "Sorry." Shiloh mutters, moving back into better reach for Cindy.

Cindy sighs and really starts cleaning the wound, something she hasn't personally done before but has seen Shiloh do it a thousand times. "Are we gonna talk about you missing dinner again?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?" Shiloh asks, looking up to Cindy and the girls lock eyes, both holding the same hard stare.

"He's going to kill you." Cindy says, her eyes back on the wound.

"He won't kill me." Shiloh scoffs. "Peter doesn't kill people."

"He did before." Cindy counters, striking a nerve.

"Accident. I told you that in confidence." Shiloh grits her teeth, feeling her body continue to heat up, this time her cheeks burning red.

"I'm just saying, Shi, he's killed before and you could be next. Maybe an accident, maybe--"

Shiloh pushes her hand away, glaring up at her girlfriend. "You're shitting me? I tell you something in confidence and you're going to use it against me? Give me that. You're working too slow." Shiloh snatches the gauze and gets to her feet, legs burning and aching as she steps to the mirror.

"I'm sorry I worry!" Cindy yells, looking at Shiloh through the mirror.

Shiloh stares at her, not sure how to respond. "Okay?"

"You look terrible." Cindy's voice comes back down, showing on her concern.

"Gee, thanks." Shiloh rolls her eyes, cleaning the wound much quicker than Cindy.

"I'm serious. You look really sick." Cindy says, moving to the side of Shiloh and pressing the palm of her hand to Shiloh's cheek, moving Shiloh's face to look at her. "You're burning up. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I'm fine." Shiloh jerks her face away, finishing the cleaning of the wound and putting a large, gauze bandage over it.

"When was the last time you slept?" Cindy asks.

"I sleep." Shiloh mumbles, cleaning up the bloodied gauze.

"When?" Cindy demands. "You get into bed late, you wake me up every single night jerking around, and then you get up. And that's even if you sleep here at all."

Shiloh stares at her before looking to the floor and it's just hard to sleep. The nightmares stopped but lately, they're coming back with a vengeance and if it's not the nightmares it's the burning through her veins. Or it's the worry of Peter or the stress of her doomed relationship she knows she shouldn't be in. It's the fear of letting everyone down. Everything keeps her awake.

"You haven't slept more than two hours in months." Cindy says, her voice completely soaked in concern.

"I'm. Fine." Shiloh's eyes widen between words.

"You're gonna kill yourself, Shiloh." Cindy says while Shiloh makes her way out of the bathroom, trying to focus on her next move and not the intense pain that's streaming through her veins and her bones and chest, the throbbing in her head becoming completely ignored. "And I'm not gonna stay and watch it."

Shiloh's shoulders fall and it's fair and if Shiloh wanted to talk, if she wanted to argue, she'd end it. There's something about Cindy that pulls her in but deep down, Shiloh knows this won't last. Something's missing and it's more than just Shiloh. But, she doesn't want to talk or argue. She has things to do and places to be, Cindy and their apartment just aren't on that list right now.

"Then don't. I gotta go." Shiloh says, looking over her shoulder with drooping eyes.

"You just got home!" Cindy yells, anger and heartbreak in her words.

"I know!" Shiloh yells back. "Do you think I like this? Do you honestly think I like feeling like this? Like I'm--" Shiloh stops herself, biting her tongue from revealing too much. "I have to go."

"Where?" Cindy stays on Shiloh's heals the entire way to the door.

"Peter's."

Cindy's face scrunches in betrayal. "And what? Get yourself killed? Beaten to a bloody pulp? You just fought--"

"Cindy!" Shiloh snaps, turning around to face her quickly. "I have to do this. You said you don't want to watch me kill myself over this, so fucking don't. I'm not gonna beg you to stay and watch but I'm not letting my fucking friend kill himself or get himself killed. You don't get it and I never expect you to but for fuck's sake, give me a fucking break!"

"He's an addict, Shiloh!" Cindy screams at the top of her lungs. "He's not your damn friend!"

Shiloh feels her fists burn, her skin feeling like it's going to set a fire to the entire apartment. Her jaw clenches and Cindy could have sworn she saw the flicker of fire in Shiloh's eyes with her words. It's a look Cindy's never gotten before and it's a look Shiloh just can't help.

"Peter is an addict." Shiloh's chest is visibly moving up and down with every breath, trying to calm herself down. "Again, something I told you in confidence. For all I know though,  he might be clean. And he didn't give up on me when I went through shit. My mom didn't give up my dad through his alcoholism, Rhodey didn't give up on him. Ned isn't giving up Peter and I sure as fucking shit won't either. I'm leaving and I'll be at the tower tonight, which for the record," Shiloh holds a finger before Cindy can even protest. "I need to stay at the tower anyway. My plan was clean up here, hit Peter's, and sleep at the tower. You're just making it easy. Now, if you want to fight, fine we'll do it more later but if I don't leave now..." Shiloh trails off, knowing she can't finish her thought. "Bye."

Shiloh turns back to the door, opening it quickly while Cindy tells her to stop but Shiloh doesn't bother. She walks out the door and slams it shut, ignoring the burning and aching of her limbs while she makes her way down the hallway towards the exit. Of course, it hurts to leave Cindy like that but Shiloh knows they're on borrowed time anyway. It's not right, none of it's right. It doesn't even feel right but Shiloh just can't bring herself to admit it to herself. It's not like it was and maybe it has something to do with Peter or maybe it's just because they've fallen out of what they have. Maybe it's both. Regardless, it's just not there anymore and Shiloh needs to end but she doesn't how or when.

The sun has gone down, the sky only being illuminated by the New York lights as Shiloh exits her building. The air has a slight chill to it and it's just enough to bring a sense of calmness through Shiloh's veins. They still burn and ache and Shiloh's still itching in her own skin, wanting to escape it all, but the chill is still nice. It just almost feels good and helps her get a slightly clearer heard.

She touches the necklace and lets the suit coat her body, her mind still made up about going to Peter's. It's the only thing she can think of to try and at least slow him down. Going to his apartment can make it a little easier and maybe she might get more than two hours of sleep. Just maybe.

Shiloh gets to Peter's within a few minutes and opts for the fire escape. Last she saw him, he was running off with a bag of money and the sun has gone down. If Shiloh has picked up any of his pattern, Peter should have already been home and should be back out by now, looking for something else to destroy. Well, that's her hope anyway because if Peter's home and he catches her breaking into his apartment, she's fucked.

So, she sucks in a breath with Marty in her ear, scanning the apartment for any form of heat that might indicate Peter's home. But, Marty gives her the all the clear and Shiloh works on opening the window into the living room. It slides open with ease, telling Shiloh Peter probably uses the fire escape more often than he uses the door which comes as no surprise.

Shiloh slowly and quietly enters the apartment and is met with a disaster. Clothes and dishes are everywhere. Take out boxes scatter the coffee table in front of the couch. She can see right into the kitchen from where she's standing, able to see the garbage overflowing and dishes piled in the sink probably growing mold. It doesn't look like he's bothered to clean up anything in months and to most people, that would tell them that someone doesn't care but that's not what Shiloh's thinking.

Peter doesn't care to an extent but not in the way most wouldn't. Peter always cares about what his place looks like. Sure, he's had a messy bedroom plenty of times, clothes and Gatorade bottles, misplaced homework even but that's it. It might take ten minutes to clean but this is outrageous and concerning. Peter would never live in a place this dirty. What looks to be an apartment that's lived in my a messy slob who doesn't care is actually an apartment lived in by someone who's rarely there. He's there long enough to eat, sleep (if he does at all), and shower. That's it. Which, begs the question, if Peter is rarely home, where is he the entire day when he's not being a menace to society?

"Gross." Shiloh mutters to herself as she starts making her way to his bedroom.

"Boss," Marty starts as Shiloh reaches Peter's bedroom, clothes over the floor, unmade bed, and empty cups on his nightstand. "Are you sure this is the best option?"

"Well," Shiloh goes to Peter's closet, knowing Peter probably isn't hiding his suit better here than he was at his aunt's. "It's not since breaking and entering is illegal and this makes me a hypocrite but if I can find a suit," Shiloh says, her voice trailing off as she shuffles through hung button-ups, sweaters, and t-shirts. "It'll save me time."

"And what is it you want to do?" Marty inquires.

"Shut it all down." Shiloh says, finding the red and blue suit she's known for years. "Gotcha." Shiloh grabs it off the hanger and folds it before exiting the room.

"Miss--"

"Marty, I know. I don't need--"

"What the fuck?" Shiloh's cut off by the sound of Peter's voice.

Shiloh looks up towards the window she came through and Peter's standing there, red and black suit covering his body with the mask covering his face. The eyes of the mask are narrowed and this is not the ideal situation Shiloh wanted and now she has to try and talk her way out of it.

"Look, I need the suit." Shiloh tries to reason, mostly just buying herself time to figure out another escape route.

Her body is still on fire and it's only getting worse. She was supposed to be at the tower over an hour ago. Her heart rate is still elevated much more than it should be and she's still weak from fighting with Peter earlier. She can't run towards him because he'll overpower her. She can't run to the door because he can shoot a web and catch her. The only option she has is his bedroom which has a window and she can fly out of it but can she do it quickly enough? Quicker than Peter?

"It's mine!" Peter yells and he lunges for her.

Not quick enough. Too weak.

Peter's body slams into hers, almost knocking the wind out of her but she's not going to give up that easily. Shiloh punches him gaining a grunt from him and she twirls them around, trying to shake him loose. He tugs at her, refraining from punching her, and the two fall to the ground, both smacking the coffee table and yelling out in pain.

"Peter!" Shiloh screams, punching his face again. "Take it!"

"You're not supposed to be here!" Peter yells back and if Shiloh didn't know any better, she would have sworn he sounded frantic. Maybe a little panicked.

Shiloh swings her leg from under him and around his neck, twisting the two around so she's got the upper hand. But, the upper hand doesn't last long as she just tries to make a break for it. 

She can't out fight Peter, especially like this. So, she runs for the window, the closest option. But, Peter's got her, lunging after her again. The two trip over the window sill, Shiloh hitting the railing of the fire escape while Peter's full force hits her back.

Shiloh screams out in pain and Peter just turns her around only to get punched once more and then again from Shiloh's opposite fist.

"You can't be here!" Peter's hands go to her neck and he's got her leaned over the edge of the railing and all he sees is panicked red.

And all Shiloh can do is panic. Her heart is thundering in her ears and Peter's choking her, cutting off oxygen. She struggles against him and Peter needs to let go. Shiloh swears he will but she questions it anyway. She can still breathe while it might be difficult and she knows he's likely only doing this to scare her, get her to go home and back away but she's scared he won't let go. What if doesn't let go?

"Peter," KAREN is in Peter's ear through his mask. "You will kill her if you don't let go." Tears sting Peter's eyes, trickling down his face as he looks down to Shiloh.

"P-peter." Shiloh gasps, her helmet dissolving and Peter's heart shatters and it's like he can't control it.

His grip loosens but he doesn't let go and he hates himself for this. At least when he uses a web on her, it's different. He's not up close and personal with her. You usually has her helmet covering her face. It's normally just someone in armor. He can ignore who's under the helmet when they fight like that but he can't do it now.

"Shiloh, you must shoot him if you want to live." Marty warns Shiloh and more panic strikes through her.

"I can't." She says and this time it's clear, Peter's grasp loosening again.

She looks horrible, maybe even worse than Peter. It's only been a few hours since he last saw her and she looks like she's dying, deteriorating into nothing and it scares him. The gauze she placed on the gash is already turning a shade of red from the bleeding, from the injury Peter caused. Her skin is pale and there are bags starting to form under her eyes. He doesn't give a shit about himself but Shiloh? He acts like he doesn't care and he was able to convince himself he didn't but seeing her look as pale and ill as him, that's what gets him.

"There's something wrong." KAREN is the one in Peter's ear.

Shiloh's arm lifts, shaky with every movement, feeling like it's being weighed down by a thousand cinderblocks. And she pauses. She pauses as she aims at him, her vision completely clouded by tears. And then her arm falls limp against her side.

"I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't." Shiloh cries over and over, her head shaking as best to her ability, swearing she'll never shoot Peter, not like this where she can't see straight or think straight. "I can't." A broken sob leaves her lips and Peter's biting his own lip to prevent himself from breaking, his grip barely even around her neck.

Peter lets go and he backs away, Shiloh falling to her knees as tears flow slowly down her cheeks. "I-I..." Peter stutters as he stares at her. "W-what...I-." Peter stutters, his voice broken. His back hits the window sill as he continued to move away from her, afraid of himself. Fighting her is so much different and it shouldn't have gotten this far but her being here, in his space, it scares him. He lost control.

"You should help her, Peter." KAREN says. "There's something wrong."

Wrong.

She's sitting on the fire escape with tears streaming down her face and her hands are shaking, of course something's wrong. Peter attacked her, scared the hell out of her. She raised her hand to shoot him and couldn't do it. Peter's mind just races but he knows that's not at all what KAREN means.

She's picking up on something Peter isn't. And if it were even a year ago, despite the blame he placed on Shiloh for everything, he would help her. He would put it away and help her, ask what KAREN knows. Peter would start listening to his heightened senses and his spider sense, trying to figure it out for himself. Hell, maybe if it wouldn't have gotten this bad, he wouldn't have to rely on that. But, now he's fighting her every day and it's gotten so out of hand with the two of them and he wants to help but then a switch flips again.

May.

He remembers her falling and he remembers Shiloh not being able to catch her. Peter not being able to catch her. Everyone just being too late and too distracted and that brings back memories of seeing MJ in her own puddle of blood and everything bad that involves Shiloh floods Peter's mind and he can't move.

"Miss, you need to listen." Marty says. "You're too weak."

Shiloh's cries soften as she looks to Peter, his mask still covering his face and it breaks her heart and pisses her off that he gets to look at her with wet cheeks and red eyes, broken, while all she has to look at is the red mask with wide eyes.

Peter's heart aches as he looks at her. If she stays, it'll escalate again. Peter can't have that. If she wants to be a hero and stop him from robbing banks or breaking into cars or whatever crime he might be up to, fine but this is crossing that line Peter didn't even know he set.

"Please, go home." Peter says, every piece of venom and fury he normally holds against Shiloh is gone, replaced with a panicked plea.

Shiloh looks to him and sniffles, the crying having her almost completely spent. She was already weak when she got there but now full fatigue was setting in and she could feel it in more than just her muscles. Her head started to grow lightheaded and her arm shook as she reached for the railing of the fire escape. It was a struggle to even pull herself up and when she managed to, she needed to rely on the railing to stabilize her, her legs too weak and shaky to hold her steady.

"Help her." KAREN says to Peter. "She's in danger."

Peter shakes his head and his fingers slip through the grates beneath him, gripping through the bars and holding them as tight as he can as if he's afraid he'll move and help. He's hung up that part of himself. He's not a hero anymore. He doesn't help anyone besides himself and he can't go back to helping, even if it's just to make sure Shiloh can stand. Old habits die hard and he's not about to bring them back from the dead. Maybe some things are better off dead.

"Tell my dad I'm on my way and he has to be there when I get there." Shiloh asks, her helmet coming back around her head.

"Yes, miss." MARTY replies, sending the message to the tower and right to Tony through FRIDAY.

Shiloh looks back to Peter and she wishes more than anything she could see the look on his face. He's not glaring, the eyes of the mask would adjust for that but is he staring at her with resentment? A blank stare still holding heated hatred and blame? Maybe he's not actually looking at her but looking past her, deep his own thoughts about what he'll be doing when she leaves. Or, maybe, he's looking scared and panicked, the same boyish look Shiloh grew to know in their friendship over the years whenever something bad happened. That would explain the panic in his voice and the plea but, he's not helping so Shiloh's forced to think the worst of him before she moves to one end of the fire escape and starts flying, albeit not well, but flying far away from Peter nonetheless.

"KAREN?" Peter chokes out, shaking his head again as his fingers loosen their grip. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure." The AI responds. "She has a fever of 120 degrees and her heart rate is 190 beats per minute."

It's like time stops with KAREN's words. Anyone should be dead with a fever of the degree and should be dead with a heart rate that high. Shiloh's human, she should be dead or in a hospital, not fighting with Peter on his fire escape.

Peter's brows furrow together and he finally finds it in himself to stand, making his way back into his apartment. "S-she should be dead, or the very least in a hospital."

Peter takes the mask off, leaving in the earpiece he was given a few years prior so he can always be connected to the team and KAREN if needed. His eyes dart back and forth as he tries to piece together everything that just happened. One second, he was content having paid off his rent for the next few months, knowing his landlord won't bother even putting two and two together with the robbery. He'd just ditched the money somewhere safe so he can buy himself food later and he was fine but then he saw Shiloh holding one of the suits in his apartment and everything turned red.

It was like it was all vibrating red. Pulsating and he couldn't even see straight. His blood rushed with pent up anger and resentment towards her and himself and he just couldn't help but lunge for her. It was quick and there's even parts of Peter that were screaming against his will to stop but like when he'd lost his leg, that horrible and paralyzing skeleton hand covered it all up, allowing Peter to only hear the red voice to get her out by any means necessary. That she is the reason MJ is dead, she's the reason May is dead, it's her fault she's scarred, it's her fault Peter lost his leg, and it's her fault Ned has the scar around his neck. And now as he remembers everything, his world starts becoming too much again.

His breathing becomes shallow and his head aches and his bones shake. He can hear things from blocks away, dogs barking and children laughing, people screaming at one thing or anything. The room is suddenly too hot and sweat trickles across his body and he needs to calm down.

"Breathe, Peter." KAREN says.

Peter sucks in a breath and he moves to his bathroom, shutting the door, all while keeping his breath held until he starts to sink the ground. The cold tile underneath sends a string of calmness through him and he sucks in another breath, filling his lungs with air. His mind fades to better days and when things weren't so hard, before everything. And he remembers Ben and May on his birthday.

They'd gotten him a cake, red and gold for Iron Man. It was a little while after May and Ben had taken Peter to the Stark expo when he was about eight. He got see Iron Man in the flesh, before he actually got to know the Tony Stark, and Iron Man saved him that first time that day. Peter didn't stop talking about it for ages so May and Ben had to get him an Iron Man cake and it was perfect and it was Peter's favorite flavor. Yellow with whipped cream frosting, buttercream always being a little too sweet for him. And he remembers his aunt and uncle getting him a watch, red and gold for Iron Man. Peter never took it off, in fact, if he looked hard enough, he could still probably find it somewhere.

It was a good birthday, just the three of them. And it ended with the three of them watching Star Trek rather than Star Wars. Peter didn't really last long into the movie marathon but it counts and it's a good memory, one of the few he still holds onto and one of the few that can calm him down in times of panic and pain. Maybe it's just because he misses his family so the memories seem to hold more significance now more than ever.

"Did I do something to her?" Peter asks KAREN once he feels stable enough to do so. "T-that, uh, I dunno."

Peter knows there couldn't have been something he did that would cause a deadly fever but her heart rate? The only thing he keeps thinking is that he scared her that bad. He scared so much that it put her heart rate too high. But, there's also that part of Peter that knows her.

Shiloh is ultimately pretty fearless. They fought Thanos together. She almost watched her dad sacrifice himself for everyone and then was willing to do the same with him. To save him. She has been up against plenty of villains before, all far more difficult and scarier than Peter. So either she's just weird and has something she not might even be aware of that's making her heart beat that fast and without killing her or sending her into cardiac arrest or there's something seriously wrong.

"I couldn't pick up on anything." KAREN responds.

Peter rests his head against the door and despite everything, he doesn't want her dead. Despite everything, the curiosity and even worry are eating at him. She has to be sick and it's bad. He didn't even hurt her but the way she couldn't get to her feet, the way she told Marty to call her dad, she's sick. But, for all Peter knows, it's the flu and it's nothing that concerns him. They aren't friends and Peter has made that all too clear so Shiloh's well-being really isn't his business. Instead, the thing that gets him off of his feet and calling Ned, is his own actions.

The moments replay in his mind like a scratched DVD and Shiloh's cries of her saying she can't echo through his mind. He could have killed her. He could have really hurt her and he needs to talk to someone about it. Ned has to be that person, even if Betty won't appreciate Peter stopping by. Ned's the only person Peter can talk to.