A/n: Bolded italics are thoughts!!

It's like a wall has just toppled over Shiloh, pushing the air from her lungs in one large thud. She never wanted him to know because it's Peter. He goes out of his way to protect everyone, or at least he did, she didn't want him in the middle of this. It happened before they ever met. They were only kids and it just didn't seem right. This is her secret. Her thing that she keeps all bottled up, protecting Peter. And now it's just out in the open and it's like she's the one who can't breathe anymore. She's the one being stripped of her protective coating.

"I-I figured it out." Peter mutters but Shiloh knows he's lying.

Peter can feel his heart beating in his stomach as Shiloh asks who told him. He knew, because of Harley. There was no other point to Harley bringing up Shiloh being kidnapped and Pepper being tortured, only to say Shiloh doesn't tell him everything. It explains how the cut on her head was healed when he went to visit her at her window after they had fought. It explains how KAREN picked up on something being wrong but not being able to pinpoint it. But, that doesn't stop the ache and soul-crushing pain from radiating through Peter's bones with the confirmation.

Shiloh never wanted to be mutated. She didn't want powers or anything special. Being able to create forms of tech and just do her thing in the lab, that's the only type of "superhero" thing she wanted. Being mutated, especially with extremis, could give her powers and with that comes the responsibility of her being a hero. It's something she's always hated the idea of. Not once has she ever seen herself as a hero. Peter, doesn't quite get it since she's always been a hero to him, even before she started saving him from everything the past two years, but Shiloh doesn't see it. She doesn't want it and the extremis could have forced it onto her. If it were killing her.

"I know someone told you." Shiloh presses but her words are a little broken, silently begging him to tell her. "Harley, Rhodey, or Happy? Who?"

"I, promise..." Peter trails off a little. "I figured it out. KAREN said something was wrong....I....I guessed." Peter half-lies and Shiloh just wants the world to stop for a moment.

She leans her head against Peter's shoulder, closing her eyes and making sure she keeps her word to him, do not look at his leg. All she needs is this moment. Just one second to breathe and hope this isn't something that will push Peter back.

What if this is gonna get him to start using? Surely, he had to of just figured it out or been told otherwise he would have brought it up. So, what if this makes him shoot up again? What if it pushes him away and everything that happened tonight was for nothing? Shiloh is so close to finally pulling Peter in and getting him help, he's sitting right here in the med bay with a bandaid covering where the needle was in his arm. He's so close and what if this scares him off? What then?

Peter can sense her fear with the soft but ragged breaths and she's close so to him. Her head is buried into his shoulder, her hands squeezing his thighs to keep her balanced and his hands are still holding onto her arms. And while Peter needed that hug from her earlier and he doesn't hate this, he doesn't hate it at all actually, it's scaring him more.

This is so close and when he gets close, people get hurt or they die. They get scars and self-hatred from him. Their smiles falter when he enters a room for months after an incident occurs and she's just trying to find some form of comfort in Peter and he knows that but it's scaring the hell out of him. It's scaring the hell out of him because she's the person he's the most afraid of but she's also the person he knows is the safest so who is he to not face his fear when Shiloh does it every single day?

Peter leans his head against hers and lets it fall into the crook of her neck. And he lets her have just this single moment. He lets her breathe and just exist without having to speak or take care of him. She's allowed to find comfort in him. And she does with every breath he takes and it fans over her neck. Shiloh is Peter's life preserver but Peter is Shiloh's afterglow, the one person who can make the world stop for her, just for a second.

"Please," Peter starts, lifting his head back up when he feels Shiloh move. "Tell me it's not true." His eyes search hers, looking for a glimpse of hope.

"What?" Shiloh asks, her eyes searching Peter's for a more specific answer even though it's right there in the back of her mind. The heartbroken and utterly hopeless expression she's seen too many times on Peter says everything.

"A-a-a-are you gonna die?" Peter tries to keep his voice steady but the nervous stutter grows worse and his eyes turn glassy and without another word, Shiloh knows exactly who told Peter.

Harley.

"Pete--" Shiloh starts but Peter cuts her off with the same broken tone.

"I know when you're lying, Shi." Peter uses the old and never forgotten nickname and it hits a part of her, deep in her heart where scars from him lay healing.

Shiloh sucks in a breath and she doesn't have the heart to tell him. She can't even admit it to herself that this is serious. She might die if they can't figure out how to stabilize the extremis again. This is her reality but even she's too scared to face it. How is she supposed to burden Peter with that, too? She needs him, sure but Shiloh needs Peter to be okay. If she's gonna die, then she's gonna do everything in her power to make sure Peter is okay before she does and that means not lying to him but not confirming it either. It means moving on from this.

Shiloh shakes her head and her grip on his thighs loosens, Peter's brows furrowing in confusion, already shockingly missing the grip and wanting to pull her right back to him. "You don't get to do that anymore, Pete." Shiloh says but her voice remains calm and collected.

"I-I can't help it." Peter stutters out, the confusion flowing into his words.

She's never had a problem with him knowing things, listening to her heartbeat, picking up a quicker in her voice when she's upset or happy or lying, the scent and taste of salt when she's gonna cry. There was never a time Shiloh ever minded. And Peter didn't think a day would come that she did.

Shiloh knows how his heightened senses work. She did hours upon hours of studies on it one summer, just for her own entertainment, and maybe because she wanted to spend a little more time with Peter and maybe he wanted to spend a little more time with her. But, that's not the point. She did study all of his senses, figuring out which ones were heightened the most, if any, and to what extent and she helped fix the mask so it easily filtered everything out, made it all normal. She's talked him through panic attacks because of sensory overload. Shiloh knows better than anyone, even Ned and MJ and May, that Peter has had a hard time filtering out his senses but she also knows he can do it now. They worked on it. She helped him. He can.

"You can filter some of it out." Shiloh says and maybe that's true. Maybe Peter can ignore it sometimes but it's not all the time and he especially can't just ignore her heartbeat. Not hers. Not even if he wanted to. "Or at the very least, you don't get to acknowledge it with me anymore. You've been nice to me for four or five hours in two years, Pete. That doesn't make everything just go away. You hurt me. I care about you and I always have, always will but.....I don't trust you to know those things anymore. You gotta earn that trust back."

Another stab to Peter's heart and it's like he can hear a distant echo of the skeleton laughing from the dark depths of his mind. He knows that Shiloh isn't the most forgiving person and he knows that this is a long process, one he's not sure he can or wants to fully do. It's all still scary and having to listen to that distant echoed laugh isn't helping. It's amplifying Peter's fear that he's lost literally everything and not by death, but by him trying to protect people. Him trying to protect himself. It's all just haunting and crushing and overwhelming all at the same time. He wants her to trust him but he doesn't even know if he can trust himself.

It hurts Shiloh, too, to admit that she doesn't trust him. It's nothing new, really. She's known ever since he electrocuted her that that trust was really and truly broken but to have to say it out loud just makes it real and it hurts. Peter is the person she trusted with everything and now he's something she barely even recognizes. It's hard, painful and truly agonizing but it has to be said and it has to be done. Forgiving Peter now and just going off of clean slate doesn't do anything for either of them. Shiloh wants him back and it's tempting to let it go, but she can't.

Shiloh lightly moves her hand against Peter's left thigh, lips pursed before she takes a step back. "I have to go." Shiloh swallows the temptation to forgive him while Peter looks at her with glass eyes.

"I....how do...how do I do this again?" Peter asks as Shiloh starts to walk away.

"I think you're the only one who can answer that, Pete." Shiloh faces him with her words. "You're Peter Parker. You're my best friend. It's okay that you're not okay today or yesterday or a year ago. It's okay not to be okay. And I got you when you're not okay, no matter what. We all got you. But maybe you have to learn that you've got yourself, too."

It's okay that she doesn't trust him even though it hurts the both of them and it's okay that he's not okay. For once, it's okay that he's not and he's allowed not to be okay. He's allowed to not be a villain and not be a hero. Peter can take a break and find himself again, find a new way to be okay with the reality he's been too scared to face. He's allowed to be vulnerable and exposed because even if she can't trust him, he can trust her. He still trusts her with anything and everything in the entire universe. Without question, he knows that Shiloh doesn't give up on him.

"Um..." Her brows furrow and she just needs to say one last thing, maybe something that will give Peter a little bit more hope. "I haven't looked at your leg, by the way."

Peter's brows flick up, his mouth parting at the random statement. "Y-you didn't? Not when you came in?"

While it might be something that always makes him anxious, the thought of anyone seeing his leg, Shiloh came in so heated he didn't have time to think about the exposed scarred flesh molding with the metal. He was too focused on her but her bringing it up, remembering even in that heat of the moment when Peter didn't, brings a whole new feeling of reassurance over him, spreading through his chest and into the inner depths of his bones.

"You told me not to. You can show me when you're ready." Shiloh gives Peter a reassuring nod, a nod that tells him that it's okay before she turns back around.

"Wait," Peter says, Shiloh looking over her shoulder. Peter pauses as he listens to his own heart in his throat and he just doesn't want her to leave. At least when she's here with him, he still wants to run away from everything but he doesn't think he will because he'd rather watch over her instead. "C-can you stay?"

Of all times, Peter asks her to stay now, after all of that. "I can't." Shiloh says and she watches Peter's face fall, almost physically watching the courage completely wash away from his being. "I have to get treatments that help to stabilize the extremis. It only really works for some hours...I should have went when we got here but...." Shiloh bites the inside of her cheek as she shrugs. "Didn't wanna leave without knowing how you were okay. "

Peter forces just one end of his lip into the smallest and saddest smile. "Right..right." Peter says quietly. "Can you, uh, send Banner in...please?"

"Yeah," Shiloh says, fighting the urge to apologize for not staying with him.

It's not her fault she needs to leave. It's not her fault that this all feels like it's suffocating her. It's not her fault everything is a mess and it's not fully Peter's either and she doesn't have anything to apologize for.

Peter looks down, loose curls falling onto his forehead. "Thanks." He says so quietly Shiloh barely hears him but she does and when she does, she fights the urge to stay and exits the room.

Bruce, Pepper, and Harley are all out in the hallway, the three of them clearly waiting to find out what happened behind closed doors. Bruce is standing, picking at his nails while Pepper has just put her phone away, and Harley is chewing his lip, as if he's anticipating something.

Shiloh stormed in there and he didn't hear any yelling. That should mean Shiloh is saving her yelling for either another person or another time. And by the narrowing of Shiloh's eyes and scowl growing across her face as she locks eyes with him, Harley assumes Peter told her he came by and the yelling is being saved for him

"Is everything okay?" Pepper asks, walking to Shiloh and resting a hand on her shoulder.

"He wants you." Shiloh looks to Bruce and Bruce quickly nods and lets himself back into the room with Peter, clearly happy to be excused from whatever is about to happen in the hallway. "I gotta go for a treatment." Shiloh says and her voice is ice cold as she looks back to Harley.

"Shiloh." Harley says, taking a step forward and she backs away, moving a step away from Pepper as well. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk to you right now." Shiloh says, words flowing from her lips with cold simplicity, making Harley's stare go to the ground.

Yeah, Peter definitely opened his mouth.

"Look, just hear me--"

"Stop." Shiloh cuts him off with the shrug of her shoulders. "I don't care. I don't want to hear it."

"What did I miss here?" Pepper points between the two of them.

Harley and Shiloh both respond at the same time, giving different answers.

"Nothing!" Harley's eyes wide with the word, glued on Shiloh.

"Harley told Peter about the extremis." Shiloh's voice containing the same chilled but flat tone as she looks to Pepper.

"I didn't." Harley says, jaw clenching as his eyes glance from Shiloh to the door of Peter's examine room, wanting to hurl himself through the door and ask Peter what the fuck?

"It was you." Shiloh says with certainty looking away from Pepper and to Harley. "I'm gonna go." Shiloh turns away from them, and heads down the hall to the room she normally gets her treatments, not wanting to explain her feelings to her mom and not wanting to listen to some half-assed explanation from Harley.

"You better fix this." Pepper looks to Harley, her stare harsh and holding authority.

Harley looks away from Pepper and watches Shiloh, her ponytail only barely swaying with her determined steps. He doesn't regret going to Peter's, not at all because it can't be some coincidence that he tells Peter Shiloh's dying and now he's at the tower. What he said snapped some form of sense into Peter and Harley isn't going to apologize for that and he's not gonna let himself feel guilty over it, either. Peter is his friend, too even if his loyalty runs deeper with Shiloh. He can't watch two of his friends kill themselves.

So, Harley promises he'll go talk to her before leaving Pepper in the hall. But, Harley takes slow steps, wanting to make sure he's behind Shiloh enough and wanting her to have at least a minute or two of space. Without knowing the full story, Harley knows it's been a rough day for her and that's something he does feel guilty about.

Shiloh needs a break, someone needs to cut her a break. She needs to cut herself a break and maybe that's part of Harley's motives, just to get her to give herself a break. Some sleep and rest and just breathe for a few minutes, not worry about other people. She's like his sister and he just wants her to be okay again. Maybe she can say she's okay and maybe she looks like she is a lot of the time, but she's dying and she's in emotional turmoil over Peter. She's not okay.

Shiloh reaches the designated room and takes a seat in her normal chair when she actually stays in the medical wing of the tower. Her nurse is there within a few minutes, connecting her to an IV and leaving Shiloh alone upon request. Harley, after standing outside and waiting, walks in not long after and takes a seat opposite Shiloh.

She narrows her eyes at him and pulls out her phone, choosing to ignore him by scrolling endlessly through social media. He can talk but she can ignore him and besides, it's about time she goes through her social media and deletes things that seem irrelevant anyway. What better time than now when she's annoyed with everyone and should probably hear them out?

"I didn't tell him." Harley starts after a few moments of silence but Shiloh keeps her eyes on her phone, scrolling through Instagram and liking Betty's most recent picture of her packed suitcase. "Listen to me." Harley pulls his chair closer to her, but Shiloh keeps scrolling, seeing one of Bucky's pictures from Spain, his entire feed surprisingly fitting a clean and neat aesthetic. "Shiloh." Harley grits his teeth and Shiloh finally looks up, sucking in breath, locking her jaw. "I didn't tell him."

Shiloh groans and locks her phone. "How the fuck does he know then, Harley?"

"He's a genius?" Harley quips. "I'm surprised he didn't know. You hide it as well as he hides being Spider-Man."

"That's bullshit and you know it." Shiloh says with an annoyed grimace.

"I went to his apartment and I talked to him but I didn't tell him about the extremis." Harley says and it's a loophole in the promise and he knows Shiloh is gonna be pissed anyway and rightfully so.

Him hinting and suggesting things about her health to Peter isn't right. It is betraying her trust but is he really supposed to sit back and attend two more funerals?

"Harley, what the fuck?" Shiloh's eyes are wide. "What did you say?"

"I just said you were dying," Harley says, almost too nonchalantly. "And he said that if you were, you would have told him." Harley explains. "I told him you don't tell him everything and I brought up Pepper being tortured and you being kidnapped. That's it though." Harley leaves out the rest of the conversation, knowing it'll just annoy her more and piss her off. She only needs to know what he told Peter in regards to her health, not that Peter should let her go.

"Oh, so you suggested that I was dying because I was also tortured with extremis? That's so much better than you actually telling him. Thanks, Harley. Glad to know I can count on you." Sarcastic venom drips from her words before she goes right back to her phone, choosing to ignore whatever else Harley has to say.

When Shiloh was kidnapped with Pepper, Killian and his goons put them in standing contraptions so they couldn't get out and would have to endure the extremis. Pepper was first and she tried to hold it together. Her daughter was there, she had to but after only a few minutes, the burning only intensified and it felt like she was walking on the face of the sun, like someone was setting a blowtorch through her bloodstream and she couldn't anymore. And Shiloh didn't have much time to actually process what was happening when they started injecting her with extremis.

To say it was the most painful experience Shiloh has ever endured would be an understatement. It was like fire ants, thousands upon thousands just crawling through her bloodstream, biting and eating away at her veins from the inside out. Her entire body was on fire, temperature rising to an alarming height and her head spun while her chest tightened with every agonizing scream and sob.

Her ears rang with the scream of Pepper calling out for Tony and to this day, Shiloh can still hear it. And when she really thinks about it, Shiloh can remember how raw her throat was for a week from screaming in agony and screaming for Tony to help.

Tony's her dad, he's Iron Man, he's the hero and Shiloh remembers vividly screaming and crying for him to save them and then feeling completely hopeless when the building's structure started to crumble.

But, Tony did come, him and Rhodey. Tony got her out first, handing her off to Rhodey who made sure Shiloh and the president got to safety above everyone and everything else. Which, was a relief, sure, especially at ten but being saved didn't stop the pain from radiating through her bloodstream, that didn't start to fade for another hour or so. And of course, Tony was able to stabilize it for Shiloh and Pepper after everything, but that didn't erase the experience from Shiloh's' mind and it's why she doesn't want to talk about it. It's why Harley is the only one she's ever told the whole story to and if she were honest, it's probably only because Harley was the only person her age she trusted. And he was kind of the whole reason Tony was even able to get back on his feet after landing in Tennessee.

Shiloh told him that she didn't want people to know. It's just a part of her life, she was kidnapped and tortured at ten. And she really didn't want Peter to know. Harley promised especially he wouldn't tell Peter. When Shiloh met Peter, it was only a few months before his uncle died and then by the time he met Harley, Peter was dealing with being new to Spider-Man, having no idea Shiloh figured it out within the first two weeks of Peter getting his powers. There was never a reason to tell Peter and Shiloh never wanted him to worry or feel pity for her. It's what Peter does, he worries and he was already worrying about May since she lost Ben and he was putting guilt on himself for it. She just couldn't burden him so it just always stayed buried. And now it's been nearly ten years since that promise was made and Harley broke that cone of silence.

"It's not your place to tell anyone anything, Harley." Shiloh says, her voice acidic.

Harley groans, his head going back in frustration before he looks back to Shiloh, throwing a hand out. "I know! Don't you think I know that?" Harley burst out. "Fuck," He huffs, running a hand through his blonde hair. "You're dying, whether you wanna admit that or not, you are and so is he!" Harley's voice raises again, this time it's almost accusatory. "I come here and I see you chasing after him, getting attached to an IV because of him and I see him, just fucking around with his life like it means nothing." His brows knit together and his face is somewhere between disgust and pain. "He's my friend, too. I'm not going to attend two more funerals because you're both idiots." He pauses for a second to allow himself to calm down a little. "I didn't tell him but I hinted at it because I hoped that it would turn him around and save you both and he's here, isn't he?"

It pisses Shiloh off more than anything that Harley has a good point. His intentions were good. It was the execution that was bad. But, Shiloh lost MJ and Flash, and May who was like another mom to her. She nearly lost her own life and she's watched Peter nearly die a hundred times, seen Ned bleeding out, watching Tony almost die a hundred times. She watched people turn to dust. She turned to dust. Shiloh has been through a lot, more than Harley but less than Peter. This isn't something she'd wish on anyone. Going through all of that and most of it happening before even turning twenty-one, she can't blame Harley for trying to do something. Shiloh and Peter always put on suits to try and save people, Harley uses his words.

"Yeah..." Shiloh mumbles, looking to the floor. Peter is here and maybe it has something to do with what else Harley told him. Maybe it was the entire night, Harley, the muggers, Shiloh staying. The perfect combination to get some light to Peter's head. "Whatever you said....Peter's in there." Shiloh says quietly.

Harley tilts his head, brows furrowing. "What do you mean?" His voice is cautious, treading lightly over the new calmness of Shiloh's voice.

She shrugs a shoulder. "He's in there. Somewhere, Peter is there not whoever he's trying to be. It just....." Shiloh chews the inside of her cheek. "It's like I can see him drowning himself." Her eyes meet Harley's. "And...I've been trying to pull him up for so long and it's not working. But, whatever you said, I dunno." Her eyes go a little misty as she looks to the floor. "I just really want Pete back."

Harley nods in understanding. "What I said might have helped, but he needs to do this on his own. You can't keep saving him and expect him to know how to......." Harley's eyes squint, trying to match the metaphor. "Swim on his own." Shiloh's eyes go back to his. "You've always been there for him and he was for you, it's just different now."

"What do you suggest I do?" Shiloh asks, eyes sad and desperate for an answer.

Harley shakes his head. "I don't know." He huffs, lips curling into a smile. "You're gonna do what you want but I think you should give him space to come to you."

"Right," Shiloh gives a soft laugh that's more of a huff, eyes darting back to the floor.

"Hey," Harley taps her head. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I told him." Harleys says. "Not sorry for telling him anything though." Harley admits.

Shiloh rolls her eyes but leans back in her seat. "You suck, you know?"

The corners of Harley's mouth twitch into a smile as he huffs. "Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?" Harley chuckles, Shiloh barely smiling to herself but she's lost all tension in her face. "Is he alright, though?"

Shiloh quirks a brow. "Not my stuff to tell." She retorts, a mocking smirk pulling at her lips.

Harley's hands go up in surrender. "Forget I asked."

"Mhm," Shiloh hums, before the two of them fall silent, this time it being a much more comfortable silence than before.