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viii. Organised Chaos
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THEA DROPS HER quill with a sigh. She's been avoiding writing to her mother since term started, and it's already the twenty-fourth of October, her sixteenth birthday. She doesn't feel in the mood to celebrate.

She walks up to the owlery bright and early in the morning, at around seven 'o' clock, and sends the letter. As she starts down the curling stone staircase, the breeze hitting her with iciness despite the scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, she hears a voice.

"Morning Thea."

Startled, she whips around.

"Good Merlin, Harry, you scared me!"

Harry smiles, a little sheepishly. She notices that his cheeks are flushed. It's probably the cold, she thinks.

She smiles back. "How are you?"

"I'm OK."

Thea notices the letter in his hand, which he quickly covers up. Strange, she thinks.

"I'm going to breakfast; do you want to come?" she asks.

Harry raises his eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure."

"You don't have to," Thea chuckles a little, but she feels like she wants to disappear right about now.

How embarrassing.

"I want to. I was just a little, er, surprised you asked, that's all."

"Why? We're friends, aren't we?" Thea responds as he sends his snowy white owl to deliver his letter.

"Friends? Yeah, of course."

"Come on, I'm starving," she says, as she starts down the stairs ahead of him. Her spirits are higher now, and she's a little happier it's her birthday.

"It's my birthday today," Thea tells Harry as they fall into step at the bottom of the stairs.

"Happy birthday," Harry says, looking a little surprised.

"Thanks," she replies, giving him a small smile.

Her face feels like it's burning off and her heart is going crazy in her chest as they walk silently to the Great Hall.

When they reach the Gryffindor table, they see that Ron and Hermione are already buttering toast. They take a seat opposite them, and Thea reaches immediately for the tea and croissants before her.

"Morning, T," Ron greets her through a mouthful of breakfast.

"Morning Ron," she says, smiling a little at Hermione.

Hermione gives her a tentative smile back, but Thea's good mood doesn't falter in the slightest.

As the four eat their breakfast in peace, Thea notices Daisy breeze quickly past them, and sees Harry spare her a glance.

"She doesn't believe me, you know. Daisy."

"Really?" Hermione says, rather surprised. "Well, I'm glad you told me. I was going to invite her to the DA."

"I was going to as well, until I realised she didn't have any idea about it," Thea says. "...and then I put the pieces together and figured that she doesn't believe. We aren't speaking to each other now."

"Oh." Hermione turns to Harry. "Don't worry, there's plenty of time to turn their opinion around –" Thea watches her face closely, and she can tell that the girl doesn't believe a word she's saying.

"I wouldn't say plenty of time. Voldemort is probably trying to get in the castle right now –"

Shivers trickle down Thea's spine and she pulls her cloak closer to her body. As she sips from the scalding mug in her hands, she sees Clare walk past and give her a small wave.

"What about Clare?" Ron asks, his eyes trailing after her. "We could ask her."

Thea sighs a little. "I already told her about it, but I think she's scared of falling out with Daisy, so we'll just have to see if she turns up."

There's a weighty pause that settles on the four of them. Thea's eyes settle on Harry's face and linger for a moment, until he's looking back. She offers him a tiny smile, which he returns, and little jolts of fire dance and shoot around her body.

Thea's about to ask them about their Christmas plans – however early, festivity can always lighten the mood, in her opinion – but the bell rings and it's time to go to lesson.

"Do you all have Charms now?" she asks, and receives three nods in response.

As the four leave the Hall, in the flurry of chatter and bustling movement of the other students, discomfort seems to settle in her bones. Hogwarts doesn't make her feel warm anymore. The very walls of the place leak with anxiety and frustration. Thea wonders if the castle absorbs what the students feel and reflects it, and that's why she feels so heavy all of the time.

It's not long before Charms, and Transfiguration after it are over for Thea, but she can't take herself off to the library to read. She has to take two hours' duty for the Inquisitorial Squad, with Jude too. For some reason, she isn't dreading it like she thought she would. For all his oddities and mystery, Jude is definitely the best of a bad bunch. Umbridge could have put her with Malfoy, or Parkinson, so can she really complain?

Thea had seen Jude at lunch and had insisted she wait for him outside of the Slytherin common room. He'd put up a little of a fight, but she stayed stubborn until he agreed, gave her a smile and walked away. Really, it was her excuse to go for a walk and a peek at parts of the castle she usually doesn't walk around, so she really had wanted to do this.

Chills consume her as she gets closer to her destination. He had told her about this, and had told her to wear a jumper, but still, the wool doesn't protect her from the iciness of the air hanging around from the Black Lake above her.

Thea thinks it would be really cool to have your common room under the Lake, to watch the creatures and the water through the glass, to have eerie, low glowing light to guide you through your homework. She makes a mental note to ask Jude what it's really like when she meets him.

She isn't stood there too long before she sees Jude slipping out of the common room. He notices her after a moment and smiles at her, then falls into step with her as they begin their duty.

"I'm..." she looks at him, a sudden rush of embarrassment striking her. "sorry. For being rude the other day."

"That's OK." Jude glances back at her. "I understand that you're having a difficult time."

"Thanks," she replies.

They walk in silence, until first years who come running down the corridor nearly barrel into them and they shout a warning after them. Thea can't find it in herself to take any points, though.

"How are you finding O.W.Ls?" she asks, her voice forcing awkwardly out of her mouth.

He gives her a knowing smile. "Not so terrible. Isn't the weather terrible?"

She gasps and glares at him. "Rude!"

"You know, Cinders, I find small talk transparent."

Thea rolls her eyes. "Arrogant."

"I'm not arrogant!"

"No one can go a single day without talking about the weather. It's impossible."

"Maybe the rest of you are all boring then." Jude shrugs.

Her glare hardens, but it's seconds before she bursts into a fit of laughter. Her chuckles spill out of her, soft and a little liberating. Jude looks at her and beams.

"Thea," Jude says. "Should we maybe...do something about that?"

"About...oh. Merlin."

The two second-years with a bag of sweets with a large W on scarper in seconds, still vomiting as they go, and Thea turns to Jude with wide eyes.

He walks over to where the second years were, takes his wand out and makes the mess vanish, carrying on up the corridor until it's all gone. Thea doesn't know how he isn't retching. She hates being sick, or ill at all rather.

"If Umbridge catches them with those – I'll have to speak to Fred and George about giving people their trials, they'll all get in trouble!"

"They're only sweets, Thea –"

"Only sweets? They were just throwing their guts up! They have others called Fainting Fudge or something and some weird kind of nougat! Someone had a nosebleed all over the common room because they tried one of those stupid things. That Umbridge has explicitly banned, also!"

"Cinders," Jude starts, smiling softly at her and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Relax."

Thea freezes at his touch, and she takes a moment before she smiles back. She inhales deeply, and the cool air filling her lungs is refreshing.

She finds herself thinking that Jude's a little refreshing too. He's Slytherin, yes, but he's also laid-back and effortlessly cool. She can't help her thoughts from continuing with the theme of Jude's appeal for a few moments as they start to make their way back to their common rooms in silence. He's so smooth and sure of himself, and she's so unbelievably awkward and constantly second-guessing herself. He's sweet too, and everyone knows he's gorgeous. She can't even try to deny it.

Besides, it doesn't mean she likes him. She simply appreciates his company despite the minor drawback of his House and everyone hating her for it. Can't people mind their own business these days?

There's no one left in the hallways around them, and the deserted castle brings her a sense of peace. For the first time this year, her head slows down and thinks of nothing but the moment she's in. Even her heart, that is never still or peaceful, is in some kind of trance-like state; there is no pain.

They're in the pause before the chaos, the calm before the storm as she remembers her grandfather saying. It's like organised chaos, perfectly ready to brew into panicked, severely unorganised chaos. And although it won't last, she'll embrace it and her new friends.

Well, she thinks, as she glances up and sees the ever-growing number of Educational Decrees on the wall. She'll try.

When they reach the point where they part ways, Thea looks at him for a moment and studies his face. He returns her gaze and smiles again.

"See you later, Strenegal," she says, turning around as he replies, "Night, Cinders."

Now Thea's alone again, the cold seems to trickle from the stone of the castle and down her spine, spreading through her bones. Luckily, her common room is positively bright with energy and the fireplace is lit and flickering: the warmth melts the shivers away as she takes a seat next to Dean on one of the sofas. She feels Daisy's gaze burn into her from where she's sat at Dean's feet with Seamus, but she ignores it and rests her head on Dean's shoulder.

"Hi, tiger," he says, continuing to write his essay, a frown between his brows and his lips pursed tightly together.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks, you know," she says.

"I know, I miss you."

"Sorry," she says sheepishly. "We can go for breakfast tomorrow, and I'll meet you for lunch."

"Shit!" Dean suddenly exclaims, jumping up and knocking Thea's head from off his shoulder violently as a result.

She glares at him, and notices his face turn terribly embarrassed. "It's your birthday! Let me go and get your gift." Before she can say anything, he sprints off and runs up to his dorm room.

The second he leaves, Daisy and Seamus get up and move to another empty desk in the corner to sit away from her. Thea leans back and closes her eyes, barely having any energy left to even mutter something about them under her breath. If they want to act so childishly, then they can. She is way too tired to have another argument, anyway.

It's not long before Dean comes back. If he notices the other two's absence, he doesn't mention it, sitting down next to her again and handing her a neatly wrapped package with a bow. There's a gift tag too, that has a moving image of the two of them laughing and pulling faces at the camera. She smiles and tears the paper off, pocketing the gift tag. Her heart fills with pure joy at the mug with shooting stars flying across, and a soft woollen jumper.

"Oh, thank you so much!" she says, pulling him into a hug.

"That's OK! I'm so sorry I forgot, I've been so caught up with homework –"

"Don't mention it," she says, pulling out the essay Hermione had helped her with the other night. "I totally understand."

As she takes out her quill and ink to finish it off, she realises that the calmness of a pause in chaos shouldn't be always feared, like she had been doing. She wants to feel some warmth now to hold close later, to get her through everything that's coming. She needs to take it whilst she can, because she knows that as they begin to edge into winter, the frost will start to ice over the windows of Hogwarts and the soft tranquility of the gardens will be blurred and hidden indefinitely.

But they aren't quite there yet.

★

Thea makes her way down the breakfast with Dean the next morning with her feet dragging behind her.

She's so sick of these stupid articles, that it's starting to weigh on her conscience even though she isn't writing them.

"I can't believe her!" Thea exclaims to Dean.

He gives her a helpless and apologetic look. "I know. How's she managing to make it worse? I already thought she was beyond help, but –"

"Tell me about it. She's making me want to move country just so I don't have to suffer this," Thea says, glancing at Dean.

"What was the headline again?"

"'Potter and Dumbledore: How their poison is spreading through Hogwarts.'"

"...Yikes." Dean grimaces.

"I know. She referenced me, the dimwit, saying, 'I have witnessed first-hand the anxieties caused to the students such as my daughter, and Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore should be criticised for this...oh God, there's Harry now."

"Go and speak –"

"I was going to," she snaps, putting her bag down next to Dean as he sits down, sniggering.

Thea inhales, walking over to Harry, who's sat with the sole company of this morning's edition of the Daily Prophet.

Brilliant.

She sits down opposite him slowly.

"I'm really sorry about that."

He looks up, his face pale and his eyes dull.

"What she's saying about me is crap, I was arguing with her every day about what she was writing in there."

She has no idea where this rambling surge of courage has come from, when before the school year began she didn't want to even be in the same room as him, never mind speak a word directed to him.

"Thea –"

"I'll keep trying to get her to stop, it's so unfair Harry, please believe me when I say–"

"Thea –"

" – you're my friend so I'll do what I can –

"Thea!"

She startles, and meets his gaze, her eyes wide and her heart thudding like there's a bird trying to escape her chest.

"...yes?"

"I know. I know that you've tried to get her to stop, I know you think it's unfair, and I know that we're friends. You don't need to tell me."

Any words she had remaining have evaporated from her mouth. Her cheeks are burning and she feels extremely hot and her chest is flickering and burning wildly.

"...OK. Thank you."

He gives her a small smile that seems to take him some effort. The silence between them becomes so long and uncomfortable that she breaks their eye contact and shuffles on the bench.

"Well, I'll see you later then. I just wanted to clear that up..."

"You can sit there if you want," he rushes out quickly.

Her heart drops a little.

"Harry, I would, but I promised Dean I'll sit with him today. I –"

"Don't worry, it's OK. Bye Thea."

She's so deflated when she drops into her seat opposite Dean that he startles when she does.

"Why...for the love of Merlin, didn't you sit with him?"

"Because I'm sitting with you," she quips as she reaches for the jug of tea and pours herself a steaming mug.

Dean shakes his head slowly.

"You're honestly unbelievable, Thea Cindercroft."