★
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xi. Run Away
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★

THE CALM FROM the previous night evaporates from her body the minute she sees Dean the next morning, his expression grave and his voice quiet.

"T, something happened," he starts, trying to stall for as much time as he can before he has to tell her.

"What happened, Dean?" she interrupts immediately, feeling her knees start to quiver slightly.

"Well, as you know, I share a dorm with Harry... I think he was having a nightmare – no, a night terror – he was shaking and shouting," Dean shudders at the memory. "He – I was so worried –"

Thea inhales slowly, and closes her eyes, trying to get rid of the stone in her stomach and the tightening in her chest. "Is he in the hospital wing? I don't care about first lesson – "

"No, I don't know where he is. He's not at school anymore," Dean says quickly, not looking at her.

Thea and Dean walk to Potions, wrapped in a heavy and uncomfortable silence. She won't be able to talk to Harry now until after the holidays; she can send him a letter, maybe, just to make sure that he's OK. Maybe.

★

The moment Thea steps into her house, her mother embraces her in a tight hug. The truth is, Thea has missed her mum. Despite their differences, she still really does love her. She just hopes she's done enough to protect her, to protect them.

"Thea, I missed you so much! How was school?"

"It was OK," Thea says. "It's different, with Professor Umbridge. Everything's changing, and I – I'm not sure I like it."

Her mother sighs, stepping away from Thea.

"It's all changing for the better, Theabel – Dolores is on our side. The Ministry is your friend, not working against you like Harry Potter and Dumbledore are trying to tell you."

"Right," Thea says shortly, not having the energy to argue. "Whatever."

"Anyway," says her mother, "I'm having a meeting tonight – the Minister himself is coming over."

"Right well, let me know when the idiot –"

"Thea!"

" – has gone."

The aching in her head magnifies as she makes her way up the stairs to her bedroom. She flops onto her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering why her mother is so strange. She's always been ushered up to her room whenever her mum had visitors over, a Silencing Charm on the locked dining room door. She never questions it; she knows it will achieve nothing but an argument.

After what feels like three hours, Thea turns over on her bed, now staring at the wall. Soft darkness has started to filter in through the window, the only glow of light coming from her lamp. She set up her record to play Queen softly, Freddie Mercury's voice crooning Save Me, her favourite. She's always loved her room; it makes her feel comfortable and alone, except for Zelda, who's curled up next to her on her bed.

Standing up, she tries to shake the sickening boredom from her bones by walking over to her dressing table and starting to count out the spare Galleons in her money box she's squirrelled away since she was about seven.

Then, her mum calls her name. Thea sighs heavily, and her cat jumps down onto the floor and follows her down the stairs.

"Yes?"

"Tea's ready," she smiles, placing down the plate of vegetables and chicken in front of her.

Thea frowns. "Aren't you eating, mum?"

"Oh, I've already eaten dear," she smiles, pressing a kiss to her daughter's head.

Thea frown deepens, noticing her mother is clad in a coat, scarf and gloves. "Are you going somewhere? Wait, I thought the Minister was coming here?"

"Yes, he's waiting outside for me. I won't be long,"

"Oh, don't hurry back, I've not seen you in four months, I don't think a few more hours will hurt," she says nonchalantly, all whilst glaring fiercely at her potatoes.

Her hands start to quiver and her knees tremble under the table, as her mother replies with nothing but silence. She places a spare key on the side before leaving Thea alone.

Thea doesn't move a muscle until she hears the door locking. She stands up, and makes her way into the sitting room, where her mother's work desk is abandoned after a day of writing articles, she guesses, all saying the same thing. All talking about how dangerous Harry is, how old Dumbledore is, and that the Ministry is everyone's friend. Thea wishes she could stop all of this pain and frustration for Harry – her friend. Harry is her friend. Ron is her friend. Thea can't help but care about these people, and despite the burning in her heart, she can't bring herself to regret it.

She takes a seat at her mother's desk, and picks up the freshly-written article, its ink still slightly wet. Thea doesn't bother to read it, and instead, picks it up and walks over to the roaring fire in the hearth. For a moment, she pauses. Then, she discards the article into the flames, and watches them devour it, watching as the white parchment turns black and is eventually reduced to ashes.

Thea barely leaves her room for three weeks, refusing to speak to her mother and only eating when she feels like it and it is the food she prepares. On the twenty-third of December, she sends her Christmas cards, by the post to Clare, Eden, Daisy, and Dean, and by owl to Harry and Ron. On Christmas morning, she goes downstairs at one 'o' clock to find a roast turkey dinner and a note saying, 'Happy Christmas, love Mum'. Thea rolls her eyes, but eats it anyway. The only interaction she has with another person that day is with the postman wearing a Santa hat, who delivers a present wrapped in gold paper addressed to her. Tearing it open, she finds a snow globe with a photo of her, Seamus and Dean in it, and a pack of strawberry laces. She's delighted with her snow globe, and writes immediately to Dean to thank him for it, sending her mother's owl with the letter.

At around five 'o' clock when she's returned to her room, a clumsy, dazed-looking owl taps on her window. Thea frowns. She doesn't recognise the owl. She warily opens her window and the owl stumbles in, holding out its leg so she can take the small item from it. She unties it quickly, before getting some water and a bowl of food that her mother uses to feed her owl for it. Then, she unwraps it to find a Chocolate Frog, a pack of liquorice wands, and some Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Utterly confused, she drops the sweets onto her bed, before picking up the small, moving Christmas card depicting a snow scene in Hogsmeade, its large tree standing tall and magical. Opening it, she reads the note inside.

To Thea,

I hope you have a great Christmas! I wasn't sure which sweets were your favourite, so I sent a few – I hope they're alright.

Thanks for the card!

From, Ron

Warmth spreads through her body, and she realises she's smiling, no, she's laughing with happiness. She's Ron's friend. She feels less alone than she has since she got home from school.

When New Years Day comes around, Thea feels a mix of anticipation and anxiety. She's not really sure she's ready to go back to school tomorrow. At least she'll see Dean. This year, her mother isn't working, so instead of going all the way down to London as she of course, has a meeting with Rita Skeeter, or something, she'll Apparate Thea to Dean's house as he lives in London, right next to King's Cross. If Thea didn't love the train ride with her friends to and from school, she thinks she'd have petitioned to get another train journey stationed up north. She lives in the Lake District; it makes no sense at all for her to go all the way down to London just to come all the way back up. Hermione told her that she agrees but it's something to do with keeping wizards a secret.

The next day, at nine 'o'clock, Thea is stood in her living room, arm linked with her mother's. Sickness swells up in her stomach as her mother sharply twists them around, and her body is squeezed through a tight tube for a moment before she lands on Dean's front door step.

She hugs her mother goodbye, who wishes her a good term, and the woman disappears as Dean opens the door. Thea guesses the crack made by their Apparating alerted him that she had arrived.

"How was your Christmas?" Dean asks, beaming at her and pulling her into a tight embrace. "I missed you!"

"Miserable," Thea replies. "But, Ron sent me a gift and a card!"

Dean smiles. "That's nice."

★

The coldness of January hangs around in the air, even as the month draws to a slow and uneventful close. Thea's glad to have a routine, and human interaction at school, though. She settles down in the common room to read or do her homework, with a cup of tea and Zelda in her lap. She wished – she knows it's stupid – that Umbridge would have forgotten about the Inquisitorial Squad, but she's in fact, wrong, and she most certainly hasn't. Still, she patrols the corridors with Jude. Although there's an awkwardness between them, it seems as though Jude has taken a 'let bygones be bygones' approach with the whole Quidditch incident.

When everyone's fully settled into the term and February has rolled around, Thea finds herself in the Great Hall, having an early breakfast on her own. She likes the peace of morning, so always tries to get up early when she can – and she likes to have an hour's reading or a walk by the Black Lake before her classes start.

"Cinders!" she hears Jude's voice call, and she turns around immediately.

"Yes?" she asks, looking at him inquisitively.

"I – uh – I didn't get an answer about Hogsmeade before we finished for the holidays..." he trails off, looking at his hands.

Her mouth forms an 'o' shape, and she's about to decline until he looks her straight in the eyes.

"I – um – I'll come with you," she settles on. She does feel bad about what she said to him.

He smiles widely. "Good. I'm looking forward to it."

He leans into her and kisses her cheek before scampering off, leaving her frozen in her place. What the hell?

"Oh, so nothing's going on then?"

Thea whips around to see Ron and Hermione staring at her in shock. Harry seems to be finding his shoes particularly interesting.

"No. It isn't," she says firmly.

Harry looks up.

Ron raises his eyebrows.

"You're just going for a Butterbeer on Valentine's Day as friends then?" Ron asks her, his face blank.

"Yes. Why do you care?" she snaps.

"Because he's –"

"Anyway," Hermione says loudly, drawing Thea's attention to the newspaper in her hand. "Look at this."

She draws in a sharp breath as she takes in the title.

MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN: MINISTRY FEARS BLACK IS 'RALLYING POINT' FOR OLD DEATH EATERS

"Sirius Black?" she questions, her voice wavering. She remembers the terror in her gut when he broke into the school two years ago, and they invacuated all the students to the hall. She didn't sleep a wink.

"No, the old Death Eaters," Hermione says, exchanging a look with Harry.

"Well, I guess that's what the DA's been for, right?" Thea says, not missing their frowns, but choosing not to ask.

"Yeah – but –" Harry lets out a breath. "Well, we were wondering if you knew anything about it?"

"Why would I?" she asks slowly, trying to remain calm.

"Well you're um – "

"You're friends with Strenegal," Hermione interrupts him, keeping her voice low. "Aren't you?"

Thea glowers at her. "What's your point?"

"He's bad news, Thea," Hermione says, completely undisturbed by Thea's glare.

"Oh, so because he's in Slytherin, he automatically likes You-Know-Who? Is that what you're trying to say?" Thea asks, her voice suddenly stony and folding her arms over her chest.

"I never said that Thea. I just said he's bad news –"

"You don't know anything about him, Hermione," Thea says, her voice raising slightly.

She knows there's something strange about Jude, sure. She's not exactly best friends with him, but Jude's only ever been nice to her. And he's her Inquisitorial Squad partner. She knows him a lot better than Hermione, and she knows he's not a Death Eater.

"I never claimed that I do – but you do, Thea – just keep an eye on him," Hermione says, still confident.

"I'm not spying on anyone for you." Thea rolls her eyes.

"I thought you were on Harry's side?" Hermione snaps, losing her cool. "What was the point in making a show in the Great Hall if you're just going to sink into the shadows now you might get into real trouble?"

Thea breathes out.

"Just leave me alone!" she exclaims, turning on her heel.

"Thea –"

She glares at Hermione over her shoulder, before storming off out of the castle grounds and making her way to the common room.

★

As she looks for Jude on the morning of the Hogsmeade visit, she finds herself longing to be with Dean and Seamus, who tell her they'll see her later, but she's also a little intrigued by why Jude wants her to spend an entire day with him. Honestly, she feels like their duty together is more than enough time to see him.

"Cinders!" Jude says, placing an arm around her shoulders and steering her in the direction of where Filch is checking permission slips.

Her eyes land on Harry and Cho Chang at the front of the line and she feels her stomach drop.

"What are you looking at?" Jude asks, pulling her back into the present.

She shakes her head. "Nothing. Come on, let's go."

Eventually, they find themselves in The Three Broomsticks, which is comfortable and warm, away from the February chill. She sits down, waiting for Jude to get their drinks. When he comes back with two Butterbeers, she grimaces, but doesn't tell him she hates the stuff, bringing it to her lips and sipping a tiny bit. At least it's warm, so she can just pretend it's an overly sugared cup of tea.

"So, how was your Christmas?"

He watches her face. "Dreadful. And yours?"

"Alright." he shrugs.

She notices her heart flickers, as she notices the tiny dimples in his cheeks.

"So anyway," Thea says, "I'm sorry about...what I said."

She stares at the table. She does feel bad about it – more embarrassed than anything else, actually.

Jude chuckles, "Don't mention it."

"Right," she replies, glancing at him to see he's already looking at her.

There's a moment of silence, which Thea takes to try and feel more comfortable. She absorbs the chatter and the atmosphere around her, noticing some students that she recognises. She's actually quite surprised at who she's seeing together on dates. She can't really judge though, considering she's sat here with Jude of all people. She doesn't miss a few glares off Gryffindors, either.

Her reverie ends when she glances back at him, feeling a little rude.

"I did want to talk to you, Cinders," he says. She notices he's quite nervous now, and she frowns.

"I – I don't know how else to say this, but –" he runs a hand through his hair.

She feels her throat close up.

"I'm scared for you."

"You – you are?" she manages to say, her hands fiddling with her hair. "Why? It's only Umbridge."

He shakes his head. "Worse than that."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've heard, uh, that the Death Eaters are interested in you. But we can help each other out – we could keep each other safe." he says lowly.

"How would you know that?" she demands, wanting to stand up and walk straight out, but she can't. It's like she's bound to her seat, her blood freezing in her body and weighing her down.

"I've just heard it, around the common room. But that bit doesn't matter Thea –what I'm saying is – I think you know," he says, so quietly she can barely hear him.

When she realises that she does know what he means – that they could be safe in a dark way, that they could become Death Eaters and use this to their advantage – she feels as though she's swallowed concrete. She can't move, her body wants to collapse, but all of her muscles are screaming at her to run away. Her mind is a frenzy of thoughts, trying to sort through her feelings in a logical way, but it can't – there's nothing logical about this, this that she somehow didn't see coming, but Hermione, Harry and Ron did.

"We can both join him, we can help each other out, we'd be an amazing team, Thea – you know that. And now they want you to join them, the only other choice you have is to be killed."

Her brain turns blank, filled with a panicked fog. She breaks their eye contact and stands up, wanting painfully to get away from him and this conversation. She walks slowly; the air has turned to heavy mud that she can't seem to break through.

As soon as she leaves the pub, and the iciness hits her, she snaps out of her daydream-like state, and she breaks into a fast sprint, praying that he won't be able to catch up to her. She doesn't slow down until she bursts into Hogwarts and then into the Gryffindor common room, not even noticing the treacle Peeves has launched over her until she gets there because she's so numb that Jude's revelation is all she can think about.