★
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xii. Echoes
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★

IT SEEMS TO Thea that she's left her concentration and ability to think straight in Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day. Ever since she found out about Jude wanting to join the Death Eaters, and wanting to help her join, she hasn't managed to shake the nausea from her body, or the fear from her mind. She also suspects this is why he's been so persistent about 'getting to know her', but there's a huge blank in her mind about why he chose her. As she walks to Transfiguration alone, it's as though stone has settled in her chest, making it harder to breathe, to think, and like every step is a painful effort.

She takes her usual seat next to Dean at the front, and keeps her eyes fixated on McGonagall at the front, who's talking about counter-spells and telling them to get their books out. As Thea reaches into her bag, she smiles weakly at Dean.

"Thea, are you alright? You look pale," he says, frowning a little at her.

"Yeah, yeah –" her lip trembles a little as she speaks. "I – uh, do you have any water? I'm feeling a little light-headed actually..."

"No, I left my bottle in my dorm room. Do you want to ask McGonagall – Thea!"

Her mind spins far away, as the classroom around her fades into nothing, and blackness takes over.

Once she wakes up in her dorm room, she makes her way down to the common room. She finds Dean sat on the sofa with his head in his hands, and she guesses it was him who carried her out when she'd fainted in Transfiguration. She still can't stop thinking about how heavy it was to move to get her book out of her bag, and it's already been hours...

"Right, that's it!" Dean exclaims, startling her more than usual. "Who in the name of Merlin are you and what have you done with my tiger?"

Suddenly her mouth is dry, and it feels like all the words she knows have evaporated from her mind and her tongue. She just wants to go back to sleep.

"You're wasting away, T. This isn't you –"

"I'm fine, Dean," she says firmly, leaping to her feet and shaking his hand off her arm.

"Well, quite clearly you're not! I'm not going to sit here and let whatever the hell is going on with you just destroy you!" he says back, his face hard and full of concern.

Her heart erupts into flames and she has to sit down again.

"I just – I don't know what's happening to me," she says, tears leaking from her eyes.

Dean's face softens and he takes the seat opposite her, taking her hands and staring her directly in the eye.

"Hey, tiger," his voice is quiet. "I'm here for you, you know that, right? I'm not going anywhere, no matter what."

"Of course I do," she says back, squeezing his hands and returning his gaze finally.

She can't keep secrets from him.

"Jude is becoming a Death Eater," she whispers.

"What? How do you know?" Dean gasps, fear now mixing with sincerity.

"He told me – and he asked me to join, said we could be powerful together," she says, quieter still.

"And what did you say?"

Thea thinks this answer should quite obviously be no, but then she realises she never actually responded to his question.

"I didn't give him an answer," she tells him honestly. "I was too horrified."

"You aren't thinking about it are you?" he asks, so quietly that she has to lean forward to hear him.

"No, of course not! I would never!" she says.

"I know, I was just making sure. You've been off recently, and I'm worried about you,"

She sighs, standing up from her chair and taking the seat next to him on the couch he's sat on.

She leans her head on his shoulder, their hands still entwined. "Me too."

★

A few hours later, Thea and Dean move from their position and make their way down to the Room of Requirement. They walk in a comfortable silence, and Thea's made sure to remember to bring her water bottle with her to the meeting.

"Are you sure you're up for this? I don't think Harry will mind if you don't want to come."

"I want to come, I always feel better for coming, actually," Thea says, before she frowns at him, asking, "Do you think...do you think Clare will come?"

Dean shrugs. "Maybe. She asked me what time the meeting was going to be this week, actually. So maybe."

It's not long before they're slipping into the meeting, and Thea's barely through the door when a figure dashes towards her, followed by two others.

"Oh my goodness! Thea! Are you alright?"

"Uh, yes thanks Hermione," she says, a little confused.

"I didn't realise you were so stressed, otherwise I wouldn't have – well – suggested you should spy on your friend," Hermione splutters a little. It's as though she's trying to apologise, but she's too proud to do so.

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault," she says, glancing to Harry and Ron over her shoulder.

"Hi," she says, before walking past them to find Neville.

"Thea, are you alright?" Neville asks.

"Yeah, I'm just stressed, and well, it came to a head I guess," she shrugs, smiling at him a little.

Thea knows the tightness in her chest is not budging anytime soon. She keeps on revisiting Jude's words. We could be powerful. We could help each other out. The worst part is and the part that's unsettling her the most is that he's right –

"OW!"

Thea gasps, eyes wide as she watches one of the strange instruments from around the room forcefully fly into Neville's head, knocking him over.

She runs over to him, "Oh, Neville I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I lost control –"

"It's fine," he mumbles, grabbing her outstretched hand and dragging himself up.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asks, her voice soft.

"Yes, don't worry about me, Thea – maybe you should go and see Madam Pomfrey?" he suggests, rubbing his head.

"You're right," she replies, having no intention to seek the woman's help.

She looks around, noticing Eden's absence and Luna Lovegood's sad look, that doesn't suit her whatsoever. But she does notice someone else...

Clare's stood awkwardly next to Dean and Ginny. Thea guesses they're working in a three, but she isn't so bothered about that; her chest explodes with happiness and she waves at Clare with a grin when the girl looks over. She returns it with a small wave and smile back, before it's her turn to practise the spell.

Harry eventually calls for everyone's attention and dismisses them. Thea grabs her coat and water bottle, and is about to leave when she hears Ron call her name.

She walks over to him, asking, "Yes?"

"Are you doing alright?" he asks, reaching a hand out and touching her shoulder lightly. "I'm here for you, if you need to talk or anything."

"I'm doing just fine," she says softly, smiling at him. "Thanks for asking."

She glances at Harry on the other side of the room, to see him looking at her inquisitively, and returns her gaze to Ron.

"I'll see you around," she says, and before he can say anything in response, she turns on her heel and sneaks back to the Gryffindor common room, Jude's words still haunting her and echoing around her skull.

We could be powerful.

We could help each other.

We can both join him.

★

That afternoon, Thea's thoughts are plagued by panic as a hand grabs her arm and drags her into an empty classroom before she can scream.

"Get off me, you bastard –"

"Cinders, it's me –"

"I stick with what I said, get off me you bastard –"

"Would you not call me that?"

She folds her arms and frowns indignantly.

"What do you want, bastard?"

Jude rolls his eyes. "Well, have you thought about what I said?"

"Yes," she says simply, staring him right in the eyes. "Is that all you wanted to know? OK, bye –"

"No, wait!" he calls, taking her arm lightly this time. For some reason, she can't find it in herself to rip it from his touch. "What's your answer?"

"I'd never join him even if it saved my life, Jude –" she pauses and moves her arm from the grasp of his fingers. "And that's final," she finishes. She watches his face fall.

"You're on Potter's side?" he asks bitterly.

"Yes," she says shortly.

He scoffs and turns to leave, but now it's her turn to grab his arm and stop him. "But we can help each other still."

He freezes, his face a little closer to hers than it was before.

"How?"

"Easy. I'll protect you from my side, meaning I won't tell them you're joining him," she says, swallowing hard when she remembers she's already told Dean.

Her face remains as set and as determined as stone, nevertheless.

"I wouldn't let them hurt you anyway, Cinders." he touches the side of her face gently and his hand is cold. "Whether you'd return the favour or not."

He holds their eye contact for a moment before leaving her stood alone and more confused than ever.

She leaves the classroom moments later, in some sort of daze, which is broken by the image of Dean in front of her face, and he does not look happy. Her heart sinks into her stomach as she watches him walk over to her.

"Would you care to explain why me and Seamus just watched you and Strenegal walk out of a classroom together on a Saturday afternoon?" his voice is dangerously low.

She doesn't answer, leading him outside and into the courtyard so they can talk without anyone overhearing.

"He cornered me and asked if I wanted to join," she tells Dean, refusing to look at him. "I said I wouldn't and that I'm irrevocably on Harry's side," she says.

She hears Dean breathe a sigh of relief. "But I did agree that we could help each other,"

"What is wrong with you?" he exclaims, standing up and starting to pace. Thea feels her heart sink even lower.

"What – what do you mean?"

"His parents are Death Eaters presumably, so he's well protected – he doesn't need you to protect him T, you can't put that sort of pressure on yourself –"

"How couldn't I take the opportunity to have a Death Eater on my side?" she interrupts him, now face to face with him and her hands clamped in his.

"Because you don't need him – you need to stop all this trying to spy, it's basically a suicide mission! You need to understand that you come first – this isn't a game, Thea, this is real – " he says, staring her in the eyes. "Please...tell him to bugger off and that you don't need his help, because you have everything you need on the side you're on."

Thea narrows her eyes. "Oh, and you know that how?"

"I'm your best friend Thea, and I love you! He just wants to use you to get what he wants, and that's to be in You-Know-Who's good books!" Dean is whispering furiously, gripping her hands tighter as though she would slip away from him if he didn't.

"I don't need him as an enemy, Dean, that would just be stupid –"

Dean shakes his head. "Seems like you don't have much of a problem with being stupid these days. Come and talk to me when you have your head screwed back on."

Dean lets go of her hands and walks away, leaving her to sit on the bench alone, her eyes trained on a small daisy not too far away, a single tear falling down her cheek. She can't stop wondering how everything could start going so terribly wrong that she would lose Dean.

★

"Hi Thea."

"Harry!"

She looks up from her book, still on the same bench that she hasn't moved from all afternoon. She looks around and realises it's started to turn dark, the sky a soft shade of orange and pink. Harry sits down next to her and she starts to warm up a little.

"What are you doing out here on your own?" he asks curiously.

"I had a row with Dean," she tells him, looking down again and picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.

"Oh," Harry says quietly.

She shrugs. "It was my own fault."

There's a silence that falls over them before Harry breaks it.

"Are you...are you OK now?"

Thea smiles weakly. "Yeah, I think so."

"That's good," he says. The next thing he says is so quiet that she has to lean closer to him, and she still doesn't catch it.

"Sorry, Harry, what was that?"

"I said you're doing really well in DA," he replies, his eyes trained on his hands in his lap. "I'm proud of you."

Thea's face burns. He's proud of her? Proud? She can't help the smile taking over her face.

"It's a really good thing that you're doing for us, Harry," she says. "It feels good, doing something to get back at Umbridge, to get back at my mum. Even if they don't know about it."

Harry smiles, before he looks at her. He looks cute in the fading light, she thinks.

"I – I told my side of the story. About Voldemort and the last task. It was published."

"Really? That's great, Harry!" she says, beaming at him. "It wasn't in the Prophet though, was it?" she asks.

"No, of course, they wouldn't have it, they're too busy telling everyone how mental I am – that seems to be their priority." he shakes his head.

"You know that isn't true, Harry," she says, moving along the bench and sitting a little closer to him. "They're the mental ones."

As he lets out a small laugh, her heart is engulfed in flames and her stomach's swarming with fiery butterflies too, but she ignores it, swallowing hard.

Harry reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a copy of a magazine entitled 'The Quibbler', handing it to her. "It's in here, if you want to read it."

She takes it. "Of course I want to read it, Harry."

"Really?" he asks, glancing down again.

"Well, yeah," she frowns. "We're friends, right?"

Thea watches him stand up, still looking away from her. "Yes, I suppose."

"Why are you acting weird?" she asks, standing up, her gaze trained on his face.

"I'm not," he says shortly, folding his arms.

"You're definitely being weird, Harry –"

"What, so because I was getting up to go to my common room, and ask you if you were coming, I'm weird?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

Thea narrows her eyes. "Don't get sassy with me –"

"OK, I'll leave you here then," he begins, turning around and setting off.

She lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes, before jogging to catch up to him.

"Potter, slow your arse down please!"

"I thought I was a weirdo?"

"Shut up."

Thea's rolling her eyes again at him, and he's laughing. She feels like she's floating, listening to Harry laugh as they walk back to the common room. Her chest ignites and her heart's beating at a million times a minute, but it makes the end of a horrible day a little brighter.