xx ⟶ Calm Before The Storm
✦
╔═══════════════╗
xx. Calm Before The Storm
╚═══════════════╝
✦
SUNLIGHT SLICES THROUGH a small gap in the curtains that Thea hadn't shut properly before collapsing into bed the night before. Her eyes open slowly, and it takes a moment for her brain to start working through the fog.
This isn't Malfoy Manor.
Is it?
After a few moments, she remembers everything clearly.
She escaped out of hell yesterday. Jude kissed her head and helped her escape. She saw Dean again. She saw her friends again. She saw Harry again.
Without moving any other part of her body, she lifts her arm out of the warm covers surrounding her like a hug to check her watch. It's two 'o' clock in the afternoon, which she's shocked to see considering she went to sleep at eleven.
She sighs, and sits up in her bed, to see a pot of tea, a plate of toast and a bowl of cereal. She manages to eat half of the toast, and drink some of the tea. It must've been brought in less than an hour ago, as the heat still seeps through the cup and makes her hands tingle.
She doesn't touch the cereal though; she hates soggy cornflakes.
After showering and brushing her teeth, she dresses in a soft green blouse and black leggings that have been placed on the foot of the bed she's in. Ginny had made her take her bed and insisted on sleeping on the floor, because Thea needed the rest more than her.
Clearly, she was right.
As she twists the door handle and steps into the hallway, her stomach is heavy with dread. She doesn't want to be bombarded with questions again. She doesn't want to be stared at by the Order, who are trying so hard to hide the mistrust that creeps in to their expressions. She stands still for a moment, wishing herself out of existence. Temptation to go back to sleep is so strong that she's about to push the bedroom door open again when a voice stops her and a hand on her shoulder startles her.
Thea has been longing for this touch. It's what kept her going through the torture, the pain of finding out the real reason why her mother had been campaigning against Harry for so long.
"Are you alright, T?"
Thea smiles.
She wraps her arms around Harry, and she feels him hug her back.
"Yeah. Sorry I slept so late, I must've been totally unconscious!"
Harry chuckles. "It's OK, I understand. After the Ministry, I slept until five the next evening."
She smiles weakly.
Then, he frowns, seeming to remember something; his smile drops ever so slightly, anxiety seeping into his face.
"Do you have a minute to talk? I need to tell you some stuff."
She nods, her stomach twisting itself into knots. She's had enough bad news to last a lifetime, and she gets the impression Harry's about to give her some more.
They turn away from the stairs, walking into Thea's room and sitting next to each other on the bed. She feels herself grow more nervous by the minute.
What could he possibly need to tell her?
"What's wrong, Harry?"
The boy stays quiet. All Thea can feel is her heart racing, so loudly she's surprised he can't hear it.
"It's my fault this happened to you."
Thea's dumbstruck. It's the last thing she expected him to say; in fact, it wasn't even a possibility in her mind.
"In what world would that be possible?"
Harry takes in a deep breath, as though to steady himself and his voice, but when he speaks, his words are wobbly and unstable.
"You don't know this – I should have told you – but I tried so hard not to let him see, but he did." He takes another lungful of air. "Thea, Voldemort can see into my head. He can see my thoughts."
"Harry, that's awful!" she exclaims in alarm, taking his hand in hers. "And it's OK that you didn't tell me –"
"Thea, it isn't OK! None of this is OK!" he drops her hand and stands up.
She starts to feel panic rise, but all she can think is keep calm; it'll make it all worse.
"Harry, just breathe and tell me what happened. Properly."
The boy pauses.
She sees the tears collect in his bright green eyes and her heart cracks.
"He saw you tell me about your curse, Thea. That's how he knows."
The words of comfort she was preparing freeze on her tongue. Her mouth moves, as though to say something, anything, but nothing comes.
She meets his gaze for a second, and watches his head drop into his hands before he speaks again.
"I'm sorry, Thea."
Her hand runs through her hair.
All she can think of are Jude's words.
I don't think I should tell you, it's not my place to say.
It'll hurt you too much.
In a way, Jude's right. She feels as though her lungs fail at Harry's words, because, as much as she hates it, she can't stop her blood simmering, her heart racing. If he'd found a way to control Voldemort getting into his head, none of this would've happened; Thea wouldn't have had to have gone through two months of torture.
But all she really knows is, he's so scared, just like her. His eyes are still full of tears ready to spill. He didn't do this on purpose; she knows he didn't.
They would've got you sooner or later. You can't blame Harry –
But he admitted it's his fault! He was weak and it got you hurt –
He's blaming himself for the Battle and what ever happened after you left, and you being taken. You can't let one boy hold all of that pain –
Forgive him –
You like him too much not to.
And if the good side begins to split up, isn't that just giving in to the bad side?
She can tell Harry's struggling not to cry when he speaks, his voice cracking ever so slightly.
"Thea, I – I saw him talk to your mother. She's – on... she's on their side. She was talking to him. She said she'll intervene, get you back on the right track; she said she had no idea you were..." Harry's head drops again. "...so close to me."
Thea still doesn't know what to say.
She takes a moment to let the shock and hurt flicker away, then she meets his eyes again.
"She did know, Harry. It just didn't fit with her little agenda, so she didn't tell him. She was panicking because she knew it'd get her in a lot of trouble."
Harry sighs, "There were other little moments, I could see him talking to Bellatrix, she was raging, she was screaming your mother's name. And Hedge's mother, she was there too. She was sobbing, something about Azkaban."
Thea's brow furrows. "But my mother never went to Azkaban. Neither did Octavia."
"I know, it doesn't make sense."
There's a moment of silence, but the air buzzes with a heaviness that Thea hates. Nothing with Harry has ever felt this difficult. Even in the chaos of the year, even when the trust was wobbly between them, Thea knew with a comforting ease that she wanted to be around him. Yet for the first time, she doesn't.
"Harry?" she finally says back.
They're both fighting against tears.
"Yes?"
Thea breathes in deeply and looks him in the eye.
"It isn't your fault."
He looks at her, his eyes lighter than they were before, his shoulders more relaxed, as though a horrible pile of weight had been sitting on them.
The boy bows his head and draws in a shaky breath.
"Thank you for understanding. Really, Thea, it means the world."
She smiles weakly. "But promise you'll try and get it under control. Or more bad things will happen. You can't let him win. We can't let them win."
Harry nods slowly, looking at her. Thea can see he's about to say something, but before he does, she cuts in quickly.
"I'll see you later, Harry, yeah? I need a walk, just to clear my head."
He nods once before he makes his way towards the door, which opens and closes with an echo that makes her heart surge.
She moves to the wardrobe in the corner, pulling out a soft lilac sweatshirt that she's sure Ginny won't mind her borrowing. Usually when she takes a walk alone, she hums a Queen song, Bohemian Rhapsody or Killer Queen, something like that, but today, her brain is a medley of it's my fault, I'm sorry, I don't want you to perish, can you give us names, Cindercroft?
She slips out of the front door, seen only by Harry. Neither of them smile, but an understanding passes between them both.
They both know each other implicitly now.
They both know exactly what it feels like to have the curse of darkness live in your head, begging for you to feed it, and wanting with every particle to ignore it, to kill it off.
When that is impossible.
✦
The next day, Thea is perched like a cat on the large window sill of Ginny's room. Finally, she managed to argue with Ginny into letting Thea take the makeshift bed on the floor, so she could sleep in her own bed, and Hermione could sleep on the camp bed. She's been awake for hours, watching the sun since around five as it melts the sky from dark orange, to pink, to white to a soft grey smudged with darkness. To her dismay, the sun is eclipsed by the thick, black clouds that fill the sky.
Her thoughts are scattered all over the place, all overlapping each other and creating a screaming, hot ache in the back of her head that matches the one in her chest.
She cannot stop this anger that threatens to eat away at her.
She cannot stop this sadness that threatens to dissolve her to nothing.
She cannot stop her mind racing at one hundred miles an hour, one half screaming tell them about Jude, Eden and Draco, they should know, you're on their side and another screaming I'm a good person, I don't want you to perish.
After a few moments, there's a small yawn and a tiny voice saying, "Good morning."
Thea smiles at Hermione.
Before Hermione can talk to her, she says. "I'm going to make some coffee. Would you like some?"
"Yes, if you don't mind."
Thea nods, before slipping out of the room, so as not to wake Ginny.
She fills the kettle and places it on the lit stove, when the sound of her cat fills her ears. She smiles, pets her soft, fluffy head, before finding the cat food Mr Weasley had bought from the shops, and scooping it into a bowl for her.
As she waits for the coffee to be ready, she takes a seat at the table and nibbles on an apple from the fruit bowl.
Silence fills the softly lit room. The hard walls and floors make the room cool, but the number of people that fill the building make it a refreshing feeling, one she can enjoy. She trusts everyone around her. For the first time in a while, she feels safe. She pours herself a coffee and sips on it, taking a few minutes for herself before she takes Hermione's mug upstairs.
She's never felt such gratitude for a simple five minutes alone than now. Clarity fills her head, something she hasn't had for as long as she can remember. It makes the weight on her shoulders seems lighter; she feels ready to confront the day as she enters Ginny's bedroom. Ginny is still asleep, whilst Hermione reads a Muggle fiction book. It takes Thea a second to analyse the cover, before she whispers, "Romeo and Juliet! My favourite!"
Hermione chuckles softly, "Not my favourite, but definitely up there."
Thea looks out the window. "More light and light, more dark and dark –"
" – Our woes." Hermione finishes. "Feels quite close at the moment, doesn't it? It's been playing on my mind."
Thea smiles weakly. "Yeah."
Hermione's face drops. "I – I'm sorry to bother you, Thea, but I really wanted to ask..." Hermione grimaces and seems to struggle to get the words off her tongue.
Thea's eyebrows raise in anticipation.
She glances to Ginny behind her, making sure the girl is still sleeping, before she speaks. "Are you alright?"
Thea's eyes sting with tears.
"No, Hermione. My mother is a Death Eater, if I don't become one then many people will die, including me – Harry's part of the reason why I'm even in this predicament... and I don't want to blame him, but it's really hard to come to terms with...that stupid connection with Voldemort told him a little bit more than I wanted him – and my mother – to know."
"I know, T, he needs to control it – he's gotten two people hurt now, and it's only going to get worse." Hermione seems to understand Thea's exasperations.
Thea, however, frowns. "Two?"
Hermione's face darkens, and her voice is slightly thicker, like it's suddenly hard for her to speak without wanting to cry.
"After you were taken – Bellatrix Lestrange... she killed Sirius."
Thea feels her stomach drop and all she can think of is Harry – then she realises that this has started to become quite the regular occurrence; she can never seem to shake the thought of the boy.
"Oh."
"Harry – he isn't coping well. We – " Hermione pauses and glances at Thea, almost as though to assess how well the girl is going to take the information she's about to tell her. "We can hear him crying a lot – especially last night – wait, Thea, where are you going?"
Thea barely hears Hermione call her name. She shoots out of the room and up the stairs to find Harry's room, which she bursts in.
"You know, knocking is usually the polite way of entering a room – oh, Thea – what's wrong -?"
Before Harry can finish his sentence, the blonde girl has thrown her arms around him in an embrace, her face nuzzled into his neck. He's stiff for a moment, before he hugs her back just as tight, as though she'll fade away if he doesn't. The blazing in her chest is a wave of agony, but she doesn't care right now.
For a moment, neither of them move, before she pulls back and looks him in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry."
He blinks, staring at the girl in wonder.
"For what?"
Thea sighs, pulling back a little so she can look at him properly.
She smiles up at him. He makes out the dry tears on her face and frowns.
"What's wrong?"
Thea bites her lip.
"I'm fine, really. Now I am, anyway."
She leans back into his shoulder, her arms still around his body.
"Thea –"
"Don't talk, Harry. There won't be time for these moments soon. Take them while you can."
Harry's heart is beating at an alarming pace. Thea thinks it might be something to do with the fact that she burst in, unannounced, at eight o' clock in the morning, whilst he's still in his checked pyjamas. She tucks her head further into his neck, and his arms tighten slightly around her.
Her own voice echoes in her head.
Take these moments while you can.
✦
A/N
Hey everyone, it's been a long time! Uni has been super stressful, I've barely had time to write and edit, which I have missed so much. Sorry this is mostly a filler chapter, I'm hoping to get more writing done this month, and hopefully finish editing the second half of Hell Heart!
Thanks for your patience guys <3
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Com