Author's note:
Yeah. Same stuff as the other one, lol!

How doth one write without being distracted every five seconds? No clue :3

This is how I can make these things faster than I write chapters, lol
———————————————

Doc: Wherewolf?

Iskall: (-pointing at Ren-) Therewolf.

Ren: ... I-

Iskall: (-gasps dramatically-) BewaREWOLF-

———

Biffa: How many people do you need to kill to get thrown in jail?

Xisuma: One. One person, Biffa.

Biffa: (-gestures at himself-) But are you sure?

———

Interviewer: So, why do you want to take up a job in customer service?

Mumbo: Well, I'm really good at apologising for things that aren't my fault.

———

Program: Please create a password.

Python: (-types in 'Wels'-)

Program: Oops! This password is too weak!

Python: (-hissing, baring fangs and drawing out his sword-) TAKE THAT BACK, COWARD!!!

———

Zed: Life is like a game of chess!

Zed: I don't know how to play chess.

———
(Author's note: Ps. This works with literally every BROTP in which Person A is trying to get Person B to confess... So I used Dad ;3)

AC: C'mon, just tell him he's cute! What's the worst that could happen?

Cub: He could hear me...

———

Grian: (-looking at a map-) Gosh, it's a barren, empty desert out there, isn't it...

(Author's note: Yes. That is exactly why I chose these boiz)

Mumbo: ... I... Um...

Iskall: (-facepalm-) ... The other side, Grian.

Grian: (-flips map over-) ... Ohhh...

Mumbo: ... If it helps you feel better... The reason Iskall's annoyed is because I did that too...

———

Joe: (-walks through a door with a sign reading 'don't enter: the light's broken'-)

Joe: (-laughs maniacally-)

(It's noon, and there are windows)

———

Doc: Listen here, you idiotic lot. Yes, that includes you, Ren.

Doc: (-points at Xisuma-) Not you. You're hard working and tolerable. You... I'm glad you're here.

———

Wels: I am taller than you, or I will make myself taller than you.

Jevin: ... Why are you so determined to embarrass me?

Wels: I'm not! I'm just determined to be taller than you!

Biffa: Same thing, really.

———

Zed: This is the world map, with just the continents. There's Europe, and Asia, and Africa, and Australia, and both Americas, and-

Grian: Not very accurate, is it?

Zed: Why? It's got every continent except Antarctica!

Grian: Where's Canada?

Zed: ... You do know Canada is in North America, right?

———

Xisuma: Sometimes, I don't understand how AC is your daughter...

Cub: Really now...

AC: (-enters the room, grinning-) Oh, hey X!

Scar: Hey sweetie! What did you do today?

AC: Ehhh, nothing outta the usual. Collected some blackmail, pranked some people, made info sheets on every beast in another dimension, attempted researching many facts about a couple people... Oh! And made a bit of profit- (-places a few diamonds on the table-) from unknowing participants!

Xisuma: ... I understand now.

———

Iskall: Imagine being paid for being pretty.

Ren: (-quietly-) You'd be a billionaire.

Iskall: What?

Ren: What?

———

Scar: Cat logic is so simple, yet affective. Don't like something? Smack it as far away from you as possible. Literally flawless reasoning. (-pauses-) ...Unless that thing is my thing. In which case, please do not.

———

False: (-finally traps a flying bug under a cup, after being persuaded by Stress not to kill it-)

Cleo: (-sets down two more cups-)

Stress: (-on a chair-) Cleo, wait-

Cleo: (-starts shuffling the cups-)

False and Stress: NO-

———

Child!Biffa: So if a boy likes another boy, he's gay?

AC: Yup! And we'll give them the best respect and platonic love as we can, because we can!

Child!Biffa: Ohhh. So... There are boys who like boys, and girls who like girls, and they're called gay?

AC: Mhm. They're not limited to just that though- there's a few other things they could be.

Child!Biffa: Like (child) X?

AC: ... Maybe. I haven't actually asked, I just know that when he's older, he'll have a massive crush on... A certain doctor... How did you kn-

Child!Biffa: X said he was a cheesecake.

AC: ... Thank you for telling me. I love you very much. You're amazing.

Child!Biffa: :D

———

Grian: I'm short, but knowing.

Iskall: You don't be knowing how the top shelf looks.

Mumbo: Iskall why-

Grian: (-angry screeching-)

———

TFC: Doc. What's in that bottle?

Doc: Water.

TFC: (-breathes out slowly-) That's alcohol, not water-

Doc: No. No, it's water.

TFC: Water doesn't have any colour.

Doc: Maybe for you. (-takes a swig of his not-water-) I have special water.

———

Zed: Hey, Tango, can you pass me some salt?

Tango: Can you pass your classes?

Zed: Too much salt.

———

Xisuma: Hey guys, I found a box! Let's put everything we love and find cute and precious in it!

Stress: Can I put Mumbo in the box?

Xisuma: No, you may not.

Iskall: Can I put Mumbo in the box?

Xisuma: No.

Grian: ... (-breathes in-) Can-

Xisuma: No one iS PUTTING MUMBO IN THE BOX!

Mumbo: (-stands awkwardly, with slight fluster at the appreciation, in the back-)

Iskall: I vote we put the box on Mumbo then.

Stress and Grian: Deal.

Xisuma: nO-

———

Python: I'm terrifying. So full of darkness. I feed off of the souls of the innocent. I strike fear into-

Wels: You sleep with a chubby snake plush.

Python: HE IS SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS.

———

Impulse: What's the fear of being murdered called?

Jevin: Common seNSE?!

Biffa: Non-existent. Just murder them first.

EX: (-sarcastically-) Why on earth would people want to kill me?

Cub: Well-

Joe: Thanatophobia is the fear of death, which I suppose is close enough.

Cleo: You can remember it because it sounds like Fanta!

———

TFC: ... Oh, here's another one... Name a densely populated place in England?

Mumbo: China!

TFC: ... Last time I checked, China wasn't in England.

———

Xisuma: I've decided to trust you.

Ren: Horrible decishun, really.

———

(Author's note: My first reaction to Keralis was a lot of screaming, which changed to 'ooo, he's a builder boi? Dat. Dat voice too. Dat be a good boi.')

AC: ... H-Hello?

Shishwamy: (-gives a thumbs up encouragingly-)

Keralis: ... Hi?

AC: You didn't immediately try and kidnap and/ or kill me, therefore chu are a good boi. I love you already.

Keralis: Wait what- (-looking at Shishwamy-) is this... Child... Ok?

AC: I have no idea :'D!

———

Cleo: (-opens cupboard-) Why did you buy mince pies...? It's September... (-closes cupboard in confusion-)

Stress: Because they were selli-

Cleo: (-yanks open cupboard violently-) Wait wHY ARE THEY SELLING MINCE PIES?! IT'S SEPTEMBER!

———

Grian: So, what can you guys do?

Doc: I'm a great redstoner with a knack of breaking minecraft.

False: I'm an expert at infiltration and sass.

Ren: I'm good at general back up, persuasion and flirting.

Wels: I'm a great PvPer and defender.

Impulse: I've captured ghasts and found a way to use their firepower.

Xisuma: I make good desishinz.

Grian: ... But we-

Doc: He's our most important member.

Grian: ... We have Joe...

Doc: Then I guess we're even.

———

Mumbo: I'm going to sing you guys a song. It's called 'inside my mind, right now'.

Mumbo: (-coughs politely-) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

———

Ren: I always look great. There's not a single place I don't look great in.

Iskall: Do you know where you look best though?

Ren: (-grins-) Where?

Iskall: In my arms.

Ren: (-blushing-) O-Oh-

———

Impulse: What's a demon's favourite meme?

Tango: Dunno. Maybe rick rolling someone? Nev-

Zed: NETHER GONNA GIVE YOU UP-

———

Zloy: (-editing like crazy. He's on a streak-)

Pixl: (-walks into the room-) Hey Zloy. (-about to put a hand on his shoulder, to peer over his head better-) What are you working-

Zloy: (-picks up a table knife-) I have a knifu. Which can end lifus. Therefore I am dangerous so doN'T TOUCHA MEEEEE- (-angrey zombie noises-)

Pixl: ... I feel like I'm being yelled at by a cupcake.

Zloy: (-sticking out his tongue, he turns back to his work-) Bleh. Shut up.

———

Grian: Ok. So we have good news and bad news... Which do you want first?

Xisuma: ... Good...

Doc: It's highly unlikely we'll ever, ever attempt that EVER again.

———

Iskall: (-exasperated sigh-) We should have left you in that corner you were dancing in.

Grian: ... But cha dIDn't~! (-yeets another potato into the system-)

Iskall and Mumbo: (-mild extreme frustration-)

———

(Impulse and Zed are hanging out. A random explosion, followed by a crash is heard from somewhere nearby)

Zed: It wasn't me.

Impulse: I'm literally right next to you; it could have been any-

Tango: (-running in, scuffed up, clothes slightly singed-) Guess what me and Grian found out.

———

Grian: (-struggling to reach something on a tall shelf. He climbs onto the countertop to get it successfully-) Iskall, did you put this up here on purpose?

Iskall: Maybe. (-smirks-) Why, too tall for-

Grian: I hate you with every inch of my being.

Iskall: That's not a lot of inches. (-runs away cackling-)

Grian: (-chases after him, screeching-)

———

(Author's note: This is a drawn comic I saw that I found way too funny :3)

Doc: Hey everyone. (-holds hands out while in a half crouch at Ren-) What colour. Is Ren's shirt.

Iskall and False: ... Grey?

Doc: Right. (-turns to Ren-) Ren. What colour did you tell me your shirt was?

Ren: (-clearly embarrassed-) ... Dark white.

———

(In a silent line of people)

Scar: Go, go, power reindeer~

———

Python: Tell me. Who do you like?

Wels: I'm not telling you! ... Guess...?

Python: What? I don't know- Biffa or Jevin?

Wels: (-light blush-)

Python: ... Which one?

Wels: Yes.

———

False: I would say that you're right, but then we'd both be wrong.

———

Cleo: Can we get McDonald's?

Joe: No, we have food at home.

Cleo: ... (-mad shuffling sounds-)

Joe: Stop trYING TO JUMP OUT THE CAR-

———

AC: I love you!

EX: I don't.

AC: I still love you!

EX: Go away.

AC: You don't want that.

EX: ... I don't love you.

———

Xisuma: (-after way too many hours of work-) DO TUESDAYS EXIST?!

Tango: What the- WELL OBVIOUSLY-

———

Biffa: How salty would you say you are?

Doc: Well, if I asked for a cup of water, and someone gave me a cup of ice, and told me to wait...

Biffa: ... You would...?

Doc: I would eat it with the most exaggerated, happily spiteful passion I could muster. Which is quite a lot, thank you very much.

———

Zed: If it actually started raining men, I'd be... Slightly terrified.

Impulse: ... Why would you make me imagine that.

Mumbo: I'd possibly sit in the corner and cry.

Scar: I wouldn't leave the house.

(In the chat, they all get notifications)

Tangotek fell from a great height
Grian experienced kinetic energy
Cubfan135 blew up

Cub: Whoops.

Grian: CUB-

Tango: Ow.

Cub: Like I said. Whoops.

(Back to the original conversation!)

Scar: (-leaves to find out what's going on-)

Zed: ... Impulse, it's your turn.

Impulse: Fine. (-leaves to go check on him-)

Mumbo: (-calling Grian and trying to fly at the same time-) Oh my gosh...

———

False: Hey, hey, Joe!

Joe: Yes, False?

Cleo: (-shoving a piece of paper in his face-) Read this.

Stress: (-giggling in the back-)

Joe: ... Um... Ok...? ... 'What is a dad'?

False and Cleo: You. You is a dad! (-giggling-)

Joe: Wh-

Stress: They did it to me with 'mom', so I told them to do it to you... Sorry not sorry!

———

Cub: (-pacing and flustered-) UGH! What is wrong with me? I can't sit still, my heart keeps racing, I'm daydreaming at random times and I keep worrying about how Scar is!

Stress: Cub. You're in love with your best friend.

Cub: What? That's preposterous, I'm not in love with-

Scar: (-walks by, waving-) Hey Stress! Hey Cubby!

Cub: (-voice cracking and weakly waving back-) H-Hi Scar...

———

Jevin: Wait, so that means-

Python: Uh... Yes, I'm younger than you...?

Jevin: (-jokingly-) Ha! I get to say what I want you to do. First rule, listen and respect those who are older than you.

Python: ... Do you want me to roast you?

Jevin: Sure, why not.

Python: (-inhales and exhales once-) ... You have the mental capacity of a five year old child. If you want me to respect and listen you, then get a respectable level of maturity and listen when we say that your bad behaviour is only justified to you by your overinflated ego.

Jevin: ... (-impressed and partially scared-)

Python: (-blinks-)

———

Scar: What's the first thing you'd notice about someone when they approach you?

Doc: The audacity.

———
(Texting)

False: Ren? Can you come over to my base?

Ren: I can't, my car only has three wheels.

False: Do you have a tricycle?

Ren: Falsey, I'm trying to show off my extensive knowledge of memes. You're supposed to say 'but my parents aren't home'.

False: I was distracted by your tricycle.

Ren: Ok, start over.

False: Ren, can you come over?

Ren: I can't, my car only has three wheels.

False: What colour is your tricycle?

Ren: Screw you.

———

Biffa: This cake's flavour is great! Just like chocolate and yellow!

Wels: ... Excuse me, what does-

———

Cleo: Geez, this maze is like a maze!

———

Keralis: Oh! I know!

(But he didn't really)

———

Grian: You guys are gonna eat your words, spit them out, and then eat theM AGAIN!

Doc: ... That doesn't even make sense-

Ren: I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?!

Doc: An idiot.

Scar: Also... Confusing.

Grian and Ren: Just because I'm an idiot, doesn't mean I'm stupid!

Impulse: ...

———

Mumbo: (-crying-)

Iskall: Mumbo, would a glow stick make you feel better?

———

Jevin: Stay fresh, cheese bags.

———

Wels: (-typing his new 'email' into... Whatever Biffa said this was called-)

Very-flier-thing: Please confirm your email.

Wels: (-types-) Yes, that is my email.

———

Joe: That's flavoured water.

Cleo: Are you talking about my see-through juice?

———

Ren: How to cheer up girls: give em a cool-looking leaf.

Cleo: (-while admiring a cool-looking leaf-) As a girl, I can confirm.

———

Scar: Awww! You two look like those cute sleeping foxes when you hug!

Doc: (-looks away-) I'm not hugging Xisuma, I'm making sure he doesn't get hypothermia.

Xisuma: (-nervous chuckling-)

Scar: ... (-takes out his C.P.S.T and starts to mess around on it-)

Doc: ... What are you doing?

Scar: Captain Angry Eyes is calling denial.

———

Ren: Why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back out?

Iskall: I dunno, that's a lot of water, man... We might need two cups.

———

Scar: I don't wanna ruin or friendship or anything... But... (-bashfully-) I really want to kiss y-

Cub: Ruin it.

———

AC: Will you read me a bedtime story?

EX: No.

AC: Pretty please?

EX: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.

AC: :<

———

Iskall: You're my favourite person on this table because you just sit there and don't talk to anyone.

Joe: I don't know how to respond to that.

Iskall: That's because you don't talk.

———

Doc: Important note, alpacas are lovely, llamas aren't.

Xisuma: ... Why would I need to know this?

Doc: (-holding up a even-more-ripped sleeve-)

———

Keralis: Apparently, people think I'm as cute as a small child, and while I'm really flattered, I don't entirely see how I am?

Also Keralis:
(-says sorry to inanimate objects he bumps into-)
(-accidentally said 'happy birthday' to his meal more than once-)
(-sits with his hands on his knees and a grin while waiting-)
(-one of the only people to help Grian reach the top shelf-)
(-always loosing things that can very obviously be seen-)

———

Iskall: Oh, hey girls- OH MY GOSH, STRESS, WHAT HAPPENED- (-taking out a sword and blankets from nowhere-)

Cleo: WOAH THERE- nothing! She just saw some of the spare baby clothes I keep for armour stand work...

Stress: (-crying-) T-They were so cute! A-And small! Just like-like regular clothes... But... But for babies!

Cleo: ... Stressy, that's the point of baby clothes...

———

False: Stressy, I can't explain!

Stress: You're getting rich in like... One episode? It took me ten!

Cleo: Ten?! It took me twenty!

Joe: You gals are getting rich?

———

Cub: When am I ever going to use that?! The only time I'll ever use that is to concern small children with my extensive knowledge of useless subjects.

———

Zed: WHAT IS THAT- oh it's a leaf...

———

Ren: MY CHEESE IS NOT MELTED! I DEMAND TO HAVE MELTED CHEESE!

Doc: THE CHEESE WILL MELT WHEN IT'S BEEN ON THE MEAT!

Ren: THIS CHEESE IS STILL NOT MELTED!

Doc: WE DONT HAVE PRE-MELTED CHEESE-

———

Tango: ... Is that cake?

AC: (-decorating-) Yis.

Tango: Can I have some?

AC: Not yet.

Tango: ... (-reaches to grab some anyway-)

AC: (-hits his hand away with the palette knife-) GETCHO DIRTY CLAWS OFF.

Tango: You've got... (-licking his fingers-) ... You've got buttercream on my cl-

AC: (-hits his tail away with the palette knife-) It's going to go on your horns too if you don't stop.

———

Doc: Hm. That looks like... Khaki...

Scar: No, these are! (-jingles car keys-)

Impulse: ... Hey, are those mine-

———

Cub: A surd is the name we give to a number that can't be square-rooted into an integer... Or cube rooted, etcetera.

Xisuma: What do you need?

(Author's note: If you understand this joke, I love you so much. If not, I still love you so much :3)

Mumbo: ... What's the name of a number you can square root then?

Cub: ... Huh... Wait...

Joe: ... A square number-?

———

Xisuma: ... That's... Not funny...

Biffa: Oh c'mon. Your boyfriend laughed.

Xisuma: (-turns pink-) That... That doesn't count: Doc laughs at anything edging on not child-friendly...

Biffa: Lucky we're all adults then. I can say that to whoever I wan-

Cub: (-out of nowhere-) You better not.

Biffa and Xisuma: ARGH-

———

Zed: Bonjour!

Impulse: ... I don't speak croissant.

Zed: Come on, at least try.

Impulse: Some words don't even exist in French, why would I?

Zed: Because it's what we're supposed to be-

Impulse: Hon hon, oui oui baguette.

———

AC: PAPA! TANGO KEEPS TRYING TO STEAL MY CAKE.

———

Impulse: (-awkwardly-) How... How do you flirt with your crushes?

Ren: You compliment your crush, but add pizazz! Be confident, crack a joke, but most importantly, just be comfortable around them. If they flirt back, grin and thank them.

Impulse: How do you know so much, but accomplish so little?

Ren: (-embarrassed-) I'm-I'm working on it!

———

(TFC and Python are playing scrabble. This is dangerous)

Python: (-adds a 'E-T' to the end of a 'Y-E')

TFC: ... 'Yeet'? ... What's a 'yeet'-

Python: YEET- (-violently throws board sideways. It goes out the (luckily open) window. There's a smashing sound, followed by a scream and—)

Doc: (-in the distance-) Who. Was. THAT-?!

———

AC: Hey Xisuma. Do you know a good hiding place for-

Xisuma: Hey, is that cake? Can-

AC: Ok, right, never mind. G'day. Tell the others that they brought this upon themselves. Including you. Love chu! (-leaves-)

———

Zed: Before leaving the house, think of the acronym 'WOWEE' to remember the things you need!

Impulse: What does that stand for?

Tango: Wallet, phOne, Wkeys, Egg, Egg (backup).

———

Zloy: My ego and pride are weird, in the sense that I always think my work isn't as 'fancy' as everyone else's, which is ok...

Zloy: ... But as soon as some stranger points it out, I suddenly consider yelling 'bow to me, measly human'.

Pixl: ... I'm not sure if-

Zloy: Take your rightful place at my side, glorious king- (-slaps a hand over his mouth-)

Pixl: ...?

———

EX: ... Why are you here again...?

AC: People keep trying to steal this cake before I've finished prettifying it.

EX: ... What-

AC: Oh, by the way, here's a slice of pre-made cake, because you didn't hound me for some :3 (-passes him it whilst still decorating the newer cake-)

EX: ... ?

———

Xisuma: I heard that some derp at the aquarium fought a squid.

Doc: (-covered in ink-) Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk.

———

TFC: Ok class, write your full name on the first line, the subject and class name on the second line, and my name on the third line. Just like the example I've written on the board (-gestures to clearly written example-).

Everyone: (-scribbly noises-)

Ren: ... I forgot thE 'E' IN MY NAME!

False: Did he legitimately write 'Your Name'?

Impulse: (-leans over to look-) No... He actually managed to spell his own name wrong.

———

Grian: HELP-I'M-DROWNING-

Doc: Chill, we're only in like... A couple feet of water...

Grian: (-angrey splashing-) NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Mumbo: ... Can't he swim...? GRIAN?! Can't you swim?! (-pulls him up-)

Grian: (-swimming normally-) Oh yeah...

———

Jevin: You're afraid.

Python: Of what?

Jevin: ...

Python: Of what...?

Jevin: (-leaves silently-)

Python: Of wHAT?!

———

(While drawing Ren in the Fear AU)

Me: YES. YEESSS. HE IS REFLECTIVE. BECAUSE HE IS A SPECIAL BOI, AND SPECIAL BOIS GET REFLECTIVE-

———

Cleo: Why're you writing in Spanish?

Joe: This is cursive.

———

Biffa: Did you cover my keyboard in 487 sticky notes?

Ren: You counted?

———

Stress: A good romance starts with a good friendship!

Iskall: A bad romance starts with ra ra ah ah a-ah!

Stress: ...

Iskall: Ro ma, ro ma ma-ah!

Stress: I-

Iskall: (-now belting out the lyrics-) Ga ga ooo lA LAAAAAA! WANT YOUR BAD ROOOMANCE-

———

Biffa: Hey. You still mad?

Jevin: (-ignores him-)

Biffa: So. You're playing this game, huh.

Jevin: (-carries on ignoring him-)

Biffa: Welp. You asked for it. (-runs off, screaming-) HEY, YOU SHIPPER PEOPLE! DID YOU KNOW THAT JEVIN FINDS IT CUTE WHEN-

Jevin: (-chasing after him, screaming to cover up Biffa's screaming-)

Wels: BIFFA! FINISH YOUR SENTENCES-

———

Scar: (-stuck in a tree after screwing up Doc's explodey elevator exit too badly-) ... Now, you may be asking, 'Scar, how did you get yourself in this situation?'

Scar: (-struggles to no avail-) Well kids, Scar has no clue either...

———

Cub: Oh c'mon... Note can't be perfect.

Doc: I could say the same to you about Ground.

Cub: Ground is literally so cute though. Have you seen them laughing?

Doc: So is Note. They're both hard-working, I'll give you that, but Note is more elegant.

(-continued banter between Doc and Cub-)

Stress: (-standing next to Joe-) ... What are they doing...?

Joe: (-pulls Stress behind the wall-) Arguing about two hermits, and which is more cute. I'm pretty sure we both know who's on about who.

Stress: Ooooo! Tell me everything~!

———

AC: Tango, can I has a cookie?

Tango: What did Impulse say?

AC: (-transforms into Impulse, dramatically acting-) No cookies before lunch.

Tango: Pffft... Ok, what did Zed say?

AC: (-transforms into Zed, still dramatic-) Uhhhhhhh Impulse told me to tell you no-?

Tango: Very accurate! ... Wait... Then why are you asking me?

AC: (-transforms into Tango, smirking-) Because they're not the boss of us.

Tango: ... (-internally-) This is a trap this is a trap this is a trap-

(Meanwhile, AC is using Tango's height to take two cookies out of the cookie jar >;3)

———

(On text, while Mumbo was AFK)

Grian: What happens if I microwave grapes?

Grian: THEY EXPLODE.

Grian: What happens if I microwave an uncooked egg still in its shell?

Grian: IT EXPLODES.

Grian: I found a stink bug in my microwave. I'm going to poke it.

Grian: ITS BUTT EXPLODED.

Grian: If it's any consolation, I know why they're called stink bugs now.

Grian: Hey, Mumbo, can I borrow your microwave?

Mumbo: nO-

———

Xisuma: ... Are those... Joe's glasses?

Zed: Yes, they are. I'm extremely blind. Everything is fuzzy.

Xisuma: ... Maybe you shouldn't-

Doc: How many fingers am I holding up? (-raises all ten fingers-)

Zed: Hey, I can still see! And trick question, nine fingers and two thumbs.

Doc: (-snorts with laughter-)

Xisuma: ... I...

Zed: ... What?

———

Stress: ... How many bones does the average adult have?

AC: 206! Biffa taught me!

Joe: Oh, that's nice. Has he taught you anything else about human anatomy?

AC: YEE! Can I say?!

Stress and Joe: Sure!

AC: If you want to easily break a forearm, aim for just below the elbow or just above the wrist-

Stress: OH MY GOSH-

Joe: WHAT- WHAT DID BIFFA TEACH YOU- (-running off to find him-)

AC: Nah, I'm just kidding, Biffa didn't teach me that- oh- he's gone-

———

TFC: ... Is that a tomato?

Cleo: No, it's a orange.

Iskall: Same thing, really.

Cleo: Tomatoes and oranges are not the same thing-

———

Wels: Nothing catches me off guard!

Jevin: (-making a dorky joke-)

Biffa: (-laughing cutely-)

Wels: ... Darn it...

———

Ren: You're like an angel with no wings.

Iskall: (-not paying attention-) So... A person...?

———
(Author's note: Gotta thank @DreamerOfTheRealms senpai for this one :3, though chu gotta ask her for context- it's v funny!)

(-On text, in the H.N.R chat-)

Ren: Guys, how do you convince a... Cat to stop playing with wrapping paper?

Grian: Gently take the wrapping paper away.

Ren: *and toilet roll...

Scar: What Grian said- maybe lure her away for treats?

Wels: Has anyone seen my helmet?

Ren: ... To Wels, yes, along with... Many OTHER feathers...

Ren: To Grian and Scar, I don't have any sweet treats.

Iskall: I've lost my tie. Has anyone seen it?

Doc: Missing a spare trident from my storage. Anyone seen it?

Ren: ... Yes... And yes... But to everyone's questions... I... Can't get them back just yet...?

Scar: ... Ren, what did you do to my child?

Ren: GOTTS GOOH NO WGAT WAIT NL-

Scar: REN?!

———

Pixl: What was that noise?

Zloy: Uh- my chair fell...

Pixl: ... It sounded a bit heavier than that.

Zloy: ... I was on it...

———

Biffa: My magic wand is eight inches long and made of solid steel.

Xisuma: I think that's a knife.

Biffa: What, no? It's my magic wand.

Xisuma: ... What spells can you do with it?

Biffa: Stab.

———

(Author's note: I did a stoopid and forgot which senpai's story this was in. All I can remember is it has something to do with me wanting to give Iskall a proper 'wake-up call'...)

Ren: (-singing-) All the other kids with the pumped-up kicks you better run, better run-

Iskall: (-bolting past-) YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN-

AC: (-with a full bucket of water, chasing him-) FASTER THAN I COME-

(Author's note: BECCA SENPAI- @becca4leafclover AHHHH-)

(-a splashing noise and a yelp can be heard in the distance, along with—)

AC: (-in the distance-) HOW DARE-

———

Cleo: Last night, I had a dream that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove that humans were closely related to goats and I was so insulted I woke up.

———

Wels: Sunflowers always face the sun. Did you know when they can't face the sun, they face each other?

Python: ... So they'll die?

Wels: ... It means that if you were a sunflower and I was a sunflower- (-turns Python's face so he's looking at him-) I'd totally look at you.

Python: (-blushing and turning away-) I HAVE A REPUTATION.

———

Stress: Carry me to Tango, I'm going to dress him up as Elsa again.

Iskall: I'M JOINING IN-

———

TFC: Haven't heard anything from Beethoven for a while. Is he on a hiatus or something?

Doc: Beethoven couldn't hear anything for a while either.

Ren: Too soon.

Joe: ... He died in 1827 though-

Ren: He's decomposing.

———

Zed: (-with AC's C.P.S.T-) ... I have power.

Impulse: How do you feel?

Zed: ... Powerful.

———

Scar: Ok, so a haunted house, but instead of scary monsters.... It's around about twenty people all teasing you and asking if you've gotten married yet.

Scar: ... Wait, never mind...

———

Wels: What's the best sort of hybrid and why?

Biffa: Anything you can control well, I guess. Then the disadvantages aren't as serious or dangerous.

Jevin: ... Something cool? But yeah, I agree wit needing to understand your dis-

Python: Creeper or snake, because I'm awesome.

———

Joe: This is cool.

Joe: (-checks price-)

Joe: This is not as cool as I initially thought.

———

Doc: Xisuma, I need you.

Xisuma: For?

Doc: Ever.

———

Iskall: Is there a word in between angry and sad?

Mumbo: Malcontented, miserable, disgruntled, desolate-

Grian: Smad.

Iskall: ... Two types of people.

Stress: ... EX before he has his coffee?

Iskall: (-wheezing-) THREE-

———

Pixl: Wow, the hermits are really oblivious...

Zloy: (-wearing Pixl's jacket, holding a mug that says 'marry me', snuggled into Pixl's side-) Mhm... Very.

———

Tango: Carry on screaming. It'll shut you up faster.

(Author's note: Or just... Let it go)

———

Scar: I hate those riddles where you're supposed to figure out which magical being always lies and which magical being always tells the truth. With only one question, or something... They never make sense...

Cub: Just ask them something like 'what's two plus two'. One of them'll say 'four', and the other will say 'seventeen', or something.

Scar: ... I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to work.

Cub: If my life was on the line, and the only thing causing that was being confronted by a liar and a truth teller, I'm not sitting down to think of a super deep answer.

———

Stress: ... Wait, what did you just say...? Sorry, I think my ears have gone a bit funny...

AC: (-gives her a piece of corn-) Replacement.

False: ... That joke was so-

AC: (-gives her a piece of corn-) -y.

Cleo: That... That was absolutely a-

AC: (-gives her a piece of corn-) -zing.

———

Zloy: What if I added orange juice to milk tea?

Pixl: You'd be sick. Orange juice and milk don't mix well.

Zloy: ... What if I replaced the milk first?

Pixl: Then it wouldn't be milk tea then, would it?

———

Wels: Can you come over?

Biffa: Can't (-gestures to the big bag he's carrying around-). Got to deliver this.

Wels: Aw, c'mon... Python isn't here right now, he won't make marriage jokes-

Biffa: (-smirks-) I know.

———

(-Ren and False are talking. Suddenly, a zombie appears behind them-)

Ren: ARGH-

False: (-slays the zombie-)

Ren: (-draws sword-) I- What-

False: You ok?

Ren: ... Nothing but my pride was damaged.

———

Stress: Every time I make sandwiches for the hermits, I always give it a little kiss to show that it's made with love.

Stress: Except when I'm angry. Then it gets no kiss, and it's not made with love.

Stress: I hope that sandwich tastes like despair.

———

Cub: Long onions, Paul.

Scar: I know, right... (-both start heading out-)

———

Zed: (-enters dark kitchen, wanting a glass of water-) ... Y'know, I was going to stumble blindly into this room, and then I remembered. (-flicks the light on-) You're here too.

(-Tango, who was raiding the fridge, stares blankly back at him. He's got the whole 'deer in headlights look' and a piece of meat in his mouth too-)

Zed: ... I won't tell Impulse about this one time if you make me tea right now.

Tango: (-immediately starts making tea-)

———

Grian: If Earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids, doesn't that make it a ravioli?

Mumbo: Grian, it's 3 am-

———

Ren: I need a pick-me-up.

Iskall: I can help! (-picks him up-)

Ren: (-blushing-) Iskall! Put me down, that wasn't what I meant!

Iskall: No? You're mine now, and I'm never letting go.

———

Xisuma: Doc, no.

Doc: Yes.

Xisuma: No!

Doc: What are you going to do to stop me?

Xisuma: I'm the admin. There's a lot of things I could-

Doc: (-picks him up-) Not anymore.

Xisuma: HEY- (-blushes-)

———

Cub: Is your shorter-than-you bo-best friend feeling slightly down? Just pick 'em up, it usually works.

Scar: (-flustered, being carried by Cub-) ... I don't know how to respond to this.

———

Biffa: Hey, Mumbo, is Grian being a gremlin again?

Mumbo: ... Well, yes...

Impulse: Why don't you just pick him up? Worked for us!

Mumbo: ... (-with a deadpan look, he picks Grian up by the waist, like le long cat-)

Grian: (-immediately gets worse-)

Mumbo: ... This happens fifty percent of the time.

———

Joe: Can you think of a sentence ending with 'dandelion'?

Stress: Da cheetah is faster dandelion.

———

EX: (-'kidnapping' AC again, trying to hide from an angry Scar-) Geez- what do I do now-?!

AC: Tell the truth?

EX: Why would I do that?

———

(-Doc is bugging Xisuma to take a break when Ren runs into the room, holding what looks to be a piece of green plastic-)

Ren: FOUR MONTHS!

Xisuma: ... What is he on about...?

Doc: Oh, nothing important...

Ren: (-waving around the piece of green plastic in anger-) YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS-

———

Zloy: A graveyard without the 'g' is me.

Pixl: ... I don't know how to respond to that.

———

(ZIT are kicking a piece of chocolate, found on the floor, at each other)

Impulse: (-kicks it into a corner-) Ah- no-

Tango: Wait, I got it! (-kicks something vaguely piece-of-chocolate looking at Zed-)

Zed: (-taps it with his foot-) That's a leaf, not a piece of chocolate, are you dumb-

———

Wels: What's 9 times 9?

Python: 69! NO- 81-

Wels: EVEN I KNEW THAT ONE-

———

Cleo: Joe, do you love us?

Joe: Of course, why would you ever doubt that?

Cleo: ...

Joe: ...

Cleo: You'll find out. (-runs away-)

Joe: Cleo? CleO-

———

TFC: I'm convinced everyone on this server is a child in some way, shape or form.

Xisuma: How so?

TFC: (-pins a badly drawn train onto a wall-) Lookie here, guys! What's this?

Cub: A drawing of a train.

Doc: A train?

Zed: Long choo-choo.

Biffa: Steam train.

Stress: Gorgeous!

Mumbo: Look, a train!

Grian: (-makes train noises-)

Ren: I want a train like that.

Python: Train- that's a train!

Keralis: Purrdy!

Scar: If Ariel was a train.

Impulse: How does it move?

Wels: That's really cool!

Tango: TRAIN!

Cleo: I see it!

Jevin: Me too!

Iskall: Same! Wow, that's a nice train!

BDubs: I wanna see!

Joe: Very nice.

False: It's a train!

Xisuma: That's a cool train!

TFC: ... (-chuckles-) Point made.