i used to be a naive girl i guess?? because everyone says so.

me when i was in grade 8, 9, was a carefree one who was always neglecting everythings around, ect: my feelings, others' feelings.

so i had lived a secondary school life full of sadness, unconfidence and i was willing to runaway anytime.

the second reason is that my relationship with one of my friends didn't go on well. that person (call A) was dragging me down every time i met A. the highest time was in grade 8, the second semester, A told my friends to isolate me.

i became invisible and speechless in front of her, like a doll. if she had opened her arms i swore to god i would have been falling down instead of thinking clearly.

i was being controlled with an unseen rope kinked around my neck. i wanted to scream but i couldn't. i wanted to cry but i couldn't. i wanted to stop living but i couldn't. everyday i woke up with the obsession of A. worrying if one day she might throw me away.

so i keep comfort her by killing myself inside out day by day.

that was me a years ago.

her shadow are too big for me to shake off.

but luckily i have changed.

somehow better.

maybe god loves me?

or it's just because i have leant to love myself and feal pleasant with what im owning.

tho i have grown up but i still feel really upset when someone tells me that she knows what im gonna react.

yeah?? duh?? wow that's fucking impressive haha :)

oh i swear everyone will do the same thing as me. :)))))))))))

anyway, see you guys soon. it's enough today.