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FOURTEEN WHAT SHE'S DONE

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       NO ONE SAW THE DEAD BODY until it was too late; Dumbledore had been murdered as well, his body falling from the top of the Astronomy Tower. Margo Valen was found by McGonagall, who ordered the students to stand back as she checked the body for a pulse. There was none. Hermione had whispered to Ron, "I think she was going to kill Holly..." when McGonagall announced the fact that Valen was dead. Ginny told them that she saw Holly leave with her step-dad, and the realisation fell upon their shoulders, just like it did when her friends in the dungeons learnt of what happened. How Dumbledore was killed in cold blood by Snape, not Draco, and now, they had lost the only protection they had against Voldemort — and they can't find their friend anywhere.

       But that's another tale. The mystery of where Holly went disintegrates within a couple of days, what with the arrival of a letter addressed to Pansy, saying:

       I'm safe, I'm fine, please make sure you can say the same.

       Show this to our friends, and mine. I know you hate the Gryffindors but they're worrying just as much as you, they deserve to see this as well.

       H xxx

       Our tale is not the awkward encounter between Pansy and Potter, Weasley, and Granger, as she walked up to the Gryffindor table the following breakfast, a frown on her face. "I'm not here to make fun of you... Unfortunately. I'm here to show you this." Our tale is not the strange way Pansy felt as she saw the relief wash over the three, and Weasley leave them to relay the news to his sister, nor is it the tale of how Pansy quietly left them, as Potter began speculating where Holly is... Nor is it the tale of how Pansy left the hall, her hand lightly entwined with Flo's, knowing full-well that she doesn't have two of her closest friends anymore. Holly won't return, neither will Draco. Pansy's got the others, but still. It'll never be the same.

       Instead, our tale is another type of miserable, a cold night spent in a stately home. The escaped Dementors still aren't letting the sun shine through the clouds, and so, the green apple trees in the garden look just as tragic as the world around them, and the roses in their area of the garden resemble a blood-red. Again, looking like the world around them.

       Our tale is this:

       Atticus takes Holly back to Malfoy Manor, he goes straight to hiding one of the rooms, making sure the door was only visible to those that were trusted to enter. She stands inside of it as he finishes the enchantment, looking around. There's an en suite, and the bedroom window looks out into the garden, the fountain outside glistening in the moonlight. Holly keeps her arms crossed, not sure what to do with herself. Everything feels numb... She doesn't know what's worse: the realisation that she killed her own mother, or the terror that soon, Bellatrix might try and do the same to her.

       "There we go," says Atticus softly, closing the bedroom door behind him. He smiles weakly at Holly, who's standing next to the window, looking outside. "We can get your trunk in the morning, but for now, I think it would be wise for you to have some rest..."

       "I don't want to," says Holly. She leans against the wall, feeling a little sick. "I can't get the picture out of my head... I didn't mean to kill her, I panicked and I was hoping I'd hurt her enough that she'd get distracted and I could get away — I didn't mean to kill her, I didn't mean to kill her... I should've listened when people said that spell can accidentally kill people, shit, I should've listened, I should've listened—"

       "Come here," says Atticus, and he hugs Holly tightly, before drawing away, moving her to sit on the foot of the bed. He crouches down, so he's at level with her, and he frowns. "Look, Holly, you need to listen to me when I say this, all right?" Holly nods. "That woman was not your mother, and don't believe for one second that you were in the wrong. Your mother died years ago — not actually, but her whole mind and spirit changed when she went to Azkaban.

       "She loved you, Holly, when she was pregnant. But, she had lost Regulus, and she was only a year older than you are now, she didn't know what to do. She killed her parents, yes, but she was panicking — I'm not excusing what she did, and don't you ever think that was the same as what you've done...

       "A couple months later she did realise that she shouldn't have killed them, but then, I think what happened to her and Azkaban made her change her thoughts on their deaths... Because, Hol, Azkaban doesn't just exclude you from the outside world — you're stuck on your own for years. The Ministry never learnt the true meaning of prison, in my opinion... They never saw Azkaban as a way to reform criminals, but rather, as a way to destroy them completely. But it made them worse, so much worse.

       "The only reason I survived in there was because I know I didn't do anything wrong. Same goes with Sirius Black, I suppose... But I was only in there because I joined the Death Eaters, so I could Margo, protect you. I hated it there, but I could handle it. Not like your mother.

       "Azkaban destroyed Margo, through and through. It forced her to hear nothing but her own thoughts for sixteen years straight, and from what we both saw of her in the past year... Those sixteen years changed her. They corrupted her. She stopped resenting Voldemort, but rather, began to admire him again, and instead, she put all of her hatred into the Ministry. Her only way to cope with Azkaban was to think of you, and that isn't your fault. She went in there to keep you safe, and somewhere along the way, she began to think of you to calm herself, but through that, she began to fantasise about what she thought you were like. She never, ever thought, in this past year, that you might be different to what she expected, because in her head, she already knew you, she didn't need to change her thoughts.

       "But she did, and she should've done. Over the past year, I've realised how much of a monster she's become... I'm so sorry, Hol, I wouldn't have let her into your life if I knew how terrible she was going to be," says Atticus, shaking his head. "I knew someone once, whose parents were awful to him, and I know how much that affected him... I'm so sorry it happened to you, Holly — but you've got to remember, this wasn't your fault."

       Holly doesn't respond. She isn't sure what she's supposed to say, because it isn't going to work like that. She won't fully realise the truth of the situation for a while, maybe months, maybe years, she doesn't know. Because, whilst she knows that she didn't mean to kill her, that it wasn't her fault, there's a part of her that argues with, you still did it, didn't you?

       "I need to tell you something else," says Atticus, and Holly nods. All of this feels distant. Part of her wants to go to sleep, in hopes that she'll be able to put more time in between herself and what she's done. "Margo told me, before we went to Azkaban, that she had told Buttercup to do two things for her, if she was ever killed... The first thing was deliver a letter to you."

       "What was the second thing?" says Holly.

       "She refused to tell me," says Atticus. "But that isn't important. I just wanted to warn you, before you find this letter and you feel even worse. Open the letter if you want, but, no one will blame you if you destroy it for good."

       Holly nods, and, feeling like a six-year-old having a heart-to-heart with their parent about something miniscule like accidentally breaking someone's doll, she says to him, "I think I want to go to bed now."

       "All right," says Atticus, and he stands up. "The door will only appear to people you want to come into this room. There's a peephole in the door, so you can still look out into the hallway, make sure no one's in there that you don't want to be, but I suppose once you've turned seventeen, you could just Apparate from this room... Good night, Hol."

       "Good night," she replies, but she knows it's not.

       Tonight is not a 'good night.' Tonight is the night that she killed her own mother, that she watched her own mother fall to the ground, dead. Tonight is the night that Dumbledore died... Dumbledore's dead. She can't believe it. She doesn't think she wants to believe it. Everyone knows that Voldemort was scared of one thing, and one thing only, and that was Dumbledore. But with him gone, what will stop him from going straight to the Ministry and declaring himself the ultimate ruler?

       Holly lies down on her bed, the pillow caving in as her head rests on top. She closes her eyes, hoping that she'll be able to drift to sleep. But she knows she's slept the majority of today already, she doubts she'll be able to fall asleep now... Even if she can't, at least she can have some time to herself for a while. She wants to be on her own for a little while.

       This is our tale now. No longer is this a story about a metamorphic girl determined to win the Triwizard Tournament, or trying to overcome the age-old dilemma of right or easy. Now, this is story is this: Holly Lippincott is stuck in a war, and the consequences are to the extremes. If she makes one wrong move, she won't just get a detention. She'll be dead.

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       THE SUMMER PASSES and Holly's grateful that September arrives. Grateful that she won't have to spend another day curled up on the staircase outside the dining room, trying to listen in to the meet amongst the Death Eaters; grateful that she won't have to spend another minute sprinting back to her bedroom before anyone spots her as they leave, all of them happily discussing the fact that they've killed Mad-Eye Moody, that they've sent Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the run. Grateful that she won't have to spend another day worried sick about what happens if she walks out of her bedroom at the wrong time, because that peephole in the door only sees so far...

       She looks at herself in the mirror, and she hopes that she's wearing this new type of fear well. This is the sister of the fear she constantly felt at Durmstrang. She wears her fear behind an indifferent expression, keeping it all to herself. That's what you learn when you're living in the same manor as Voldemort himself, and never daring to leave your room if you don't know where he could be... She hasn't seen him yet. She doesn't think she wants to.

       Draco walks into her room, the same expression on his face. He's wearing a black suit, like he's been doing ever since last year. Holly doesn't smile. She doesn't know if she can anymore.

       "Did you get the letter?" he says.

       Holly nods. "I'm head girl."

       "I had to explain I didn't want it," says Draco, walking further into the room. Her brows furrow. "They're making an expression for me, with this new rule. Every child has to be in school... It's not even subtle, how badly they want to catch him."

       'Him' means Harry. Every so often they'll bring up what's apparently happening to him — how he fled from Bill and Fleur's wedding, which Holly didn't show for, and how he's been on the run ever since, along with Ron and Hermione. She's worried about him, scared for him. She'll see the awful things they've been writing about him in the Prophet and it takes her so much strength to not say anything about it. She knows how that will go down in this house.

       "Hm," says Holly.

       "I'm going to miss you," says Draco, suddenly. "This is going to be far worse if you're not around."

       Holly knows the feeling. Their connection ended the instant Dumbledore died, and now it feels strange. She's gotten so used to it that now they can't silently speak to each other, it feels wrong. It feels like there's a constant silence in her mind, because she can't talk to her cousin anymore. She doesn't miss the emulation of pain, but she misses the mind-reading.

       "I'll miss you," she tells him.

       "Are you having breakfast?" he asks, but before she can respond, Buttercup Apparates in the room, making Vivien the Dragon jump off of the bed, hissing in annoyance. Buttercup's holding an envelope, and she frowns at Draco.

       "Holly, Miss, this is a really super important letter!" says Buttercup, nodding fearfully. "But you mustn't open it in front of anyone!"

       Holly looks at Draco. "I'll see you downstairs."

       Draco seems to be a little pissed off by this, that he's being shooed away by an envelope. But he leaves anyway, closing the door behind him.

       Holly tears the letter open.

       Holliday, dearest.

       If you are reading this, I have died. I could spend this next paragraph telling you how much I love you, how much I will miss you, but I need you to do something incredibly important for me. Soon you will learn of what Regulus did to try and destroy one Horcrux, and you must help destroy another — Buttercup will have hidden it somewhere under my orders. It is no longer in my bedroom, for that will be searched by the Death Eaters following my death... No, it has been hidden elsewhere.

       I've hidden the map in your mind, and I know you can unlock the spell. Holliday, dearest, you must destroy the Ravenclaw Diadem.

       "The Ravenclaw Diadem?" says Holly, her brows furrowing. She looks down at Buttercup, who nods fearfully. "Buttercup, do you know where it is?"

       "No, no!" says Buttercup, shaking her head. "I was told to take my memory as soon as I hid it — Miss Margo didn't want me to remember, she hid the map in your mind, she even took away her own memory once she had done it. I don't know anything, Miss Holly. I'm ever so sorry."

       Holly looks down at the letter. "I can't go now, it'll be far too suspicious... I'll be running the second I leave, I won't even have a head-start if I clear off now," she mumbles aloud, thankful the room has been Impertubed. "Buttercup, you can't tell anyone this."

       "I won't," says Buttercup.

       Then Holly's gaze moves back to her trunk. She can't leave just yet — what's the point in running away if she doesn't even know where to begin looking? Maybe she should wait until she knows where to look, and then she'll sneak out of school. That'll be the safer option... If she leaves now, with no plan, she'll get caught before she can even figure out how to destroy the diadem.

       "They'll be wondering where I am," says Holly, her brows furrowing. She's wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt, planning to wear the white leather jacket Atticus got for her birthday three days ago. But the manor's warm enough that she can do without for now, so she does, walking out of her bedroom and making her way down the stairs, straight to the dining room.

       She walks into the dining room, and immediately, she sees Bellatrix sitting at the table, looking pleased with herself. Holly's stomach drops.

       "Good morning, Holly dearest!" says Bellatrix, a malicious grin across her face. Holly doesn't move from the threshold of the dining room, realising that she stupidly left her wand upstairs, in her bedroom. "Come, sit, sit! I thought we should have talk before you go back to school..." She continues to smile. Holly's frozen. "Your breakfast will be cold... I promise I won't bite, I actually wanted to make amends..."

       Holly doesn't trust her, but she can see Bellatrix's wand on the table, and she thinks to herself, the safest option will be to go along with this. It'll take five minutes to eat breakfast, and then I'll go upstairs until I've got to go to Kings' Cross. Five minutes... I can handle that. So she walks to the bottom of the table, where another house-elf presents Holly with a full English breakfast, eggs and hash browns included.

       "You had a visitor last night," says Bellatrix, her eyes bulging with excitement. She holds her wand and two things float onto the table, a Golden Snitch and a small handheld mirror. Holly's brows furrow. "You were left that mirror but Dumbledore, I never knew you were close... But, the Minister said that the note left with this one was, ahem," she clears her throat, and puts on a terrible voice to say the next part, trying to mock Dumbledore. "To guide you to what you need." Holly contains her excitement. Could this mirror show her the way to the diadem?

       "And then this," says Bellatrix, holding up the Snitch after sliding the mirror across the table to Holly, no care in the world for it. "This Snitch is actually Potter's... Apparently they found it after he went missing, so you've got to look after it."

       "Oh," says Holly, and Bellatrix hands her the Golden Snitch. Holly looks at it, frowning. It doesn't look special, she doesn't understand why Dumbledore would leave that for Harry, especially considering he was the closest one to Dumbledore.

       Maybe it has a secret message, and it'll only reveal itself to Harry. That makes sense, yeah... And this mirror! Holly feels touched that her headmaster would actually leave her something, especially since this could really help her in finding the diadem. She looks down at the mirror as she slips the Golden Snitch into her pocket, not daring to look into the mirror whilst Bellatrix is there, just in case.

       And then, she feels a hand grab onto her arm, and she realises, she had gotten distracted. Whilst she had been looking at the two items, excitement growing, Bellatrix had slipped out of her seat and darted across the table, one hand gripping Holly's arm, and the other pushing her wand into Holly's cheek.

       "I need to ask you some questions," says Bellatrix, her voice a hiss. She pulls Holly to her feet, and Holly's in shock. It happened so quickly, she can't comprehend it. Fear's taken over completely and she feels weak, not even trying to fight back as Bellatrix pulls her into the drawing room, pushing her to the floor. "Where's Potter?"

       "I don't know," says Holly instantly. "He didn't tell me."

       "So what was the point in you pretending to love him for these past couple years, then?" says Bellatrix, her wand pointed at Holly. "You're not clever, Holly dearest. I've been onto you since the start — CRUCIO!"

       Holly feels the pain take over her entire body. White-hot knives feel like they're being driven into her skin, cutting through muscle, through bone. Her screams feel amplified by the white noise, and she can't help but scream even more. Her back arches as she twists in pain, and ever so faintly, she hears Bellatrix's laughter.

       "You're a blood traitor," says Bellatrix, and she kicks Holly's torso, making the pain even worse. Holly screeches, squeezing her eyes shut, desperately wishing that the pain will go away. It always goes away, it always goes away, it always ends, it never continues forever. Why won't this stop? Please, PLEASE, make this stop! Please please PLEASE— "You fooled everyone, didn't you? But you didn't fool me. You're better off dead."

       "Please don't," Holly mumbles in panic, shaking her head desperately. "Please, please, please, please—"

       "Avada Kedavra!"

       The pain stops. Holly stops writhing, twisting, screaming. The sound of her screams no longer bounce off the drawing room's walls, but instead, there's a huff of satisfaction from Bellatrix's lips, who kicks the body one last time, for good measure, in the torso. Bellatrix leaves the drawing room, pleased with herself.

       The green light of the Killing Curse had reflected off of the surfaces in the room, flashing brightly, an unmissable declaration of what has just occurred. Every metallic surface had gone green for that second — all except one.

       There's something in Holly's pocket that the green light was unable to reach, to reflect onto it's surface. The Golden Snitch, with nothing important about. No inscription, no contents... Nothing. There's no point to having it.

       Or is there?

       Because it begins to act in a way that a normal Snitch would not. The insides of it begin to shake in her pocket, like clockwork being forced to work again. Something within the Golden Snitch comes to life in a jarring fashion... And Holly's finger moves.

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End of Part I.

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i'm so fucking ready for deathly hallows this is holly fucking lippincott in her PRIME

let me know what you thought, and i hope you enjoyed!!!!!